Oh Great! I was Reincarnated as a Farmer

by Benjamin Kerei

  The scholars here didn’t cater to warriors, adventurers, or nobility. Their focus belonged purely to the baser classes like craftsmen and farmers.

  I hobbled through the door and over to the book-covered desk located in the right corner of the reception. It sat in front of two bookshelves that had overflowed their capacity, forming stacks on the ground that looked like a book waterfall. A frazzled looking teenage girl with wild bushy brown hair and thick glasses sat behind the desk. Four books lay open in front of her with another beside her hand that she was taking notes in.

  Scholar Beth

  Beth didn’t look up until I reached over and tapped the bell wedged between two stacks of books.

  Ting.

  She jumped. “Huh, what happened? Oh, it’s just a customer.” She blinked twice before looking in my direction. “How may I help you?”

  The girl was painfully skinny. The kind of skinny you only got from sitting down for far too long. There was no muscle tone anywhere on her body.

  “I’m looking for a scholar named Ranic. I’ve been told he’s a specialist in the farmer class.”

  I’d spent two weeks studying the books Jeric had gotten his hands on and learned something quite important. I knew a whole lot less about my class than I thought I did. Even Salem was surprised by some of the information I pulled out of the books before I left. There was so much we hadn’t known.

  That was probably a good thing. Because if we had known, we never would have tried my idea with the traps. However, remaining ignorant wasn’t going to help me any further. The only smart course of action was to alleviate that ignorance and there was no better way for me to do that than to find a scholar who specialised in farming. It was why I’d come to Weldon rather than Igwood, which was closer. Weldon had several incredibly talented farming specialists. Ranic, however, was supposedly the most knowledgeable scholar on the subject outside of the capital.

  My request made the girl jump in her seat, straightening her back. “You want to talk to Ranic?”

  “If he’s the scholar who specialises in farming, then yes.”

  The girl took a slow breath, visibly trying to calm herself. “Ranic’s time is both precious and expensive. Five nobles an hour, or thirty for the day. What is the nature of the services you require?”

  I stared, surprised by the insane price and the way she framed her question. “You’re vetting me?”

  “Yes.”

  Suddenly, I wanted to meet this specialist even more. “I need a comprehensive list of threshold requirements, with an in-depth understanding of those requirements. I would also like to understand special promotions better and see if the special promotions I received are unique.”

  The girl paused for a tenth of a second when I said “special promotions” and again when I said “unique." “Have you researched these special promotions yourself?”

  I pulled out a scrap of paper with the list of farmer class guide books I had read. There were ten in all. I handed it over. “It wasn’t in any of these.”

  The girl read over the list before frowning. “These are laymen’s guides, not scholarly works, and some are not worth the paper they are written on. However, their combined ramblings would give an acceptable basic understanding of the farmer class.”

  “You’ve read them all,” I said, impressed.

  “No,” she said, twisting around to the bookcase behind her and retrieved a book with a blue cover. She turned and held out the book. “This is Holvar’s Reference Guide to Class Books. It lists all the books that have been published on a given class along with their ranking as a scholarly source of information. All scholars are required to memorize the list of books and their rank. We can use the list to roughly calculate how much an individual knows on a given class by which books they have read.”

  “That could be useful. Where can I get a copy?”

  She turned to put the book away. “You can’t. It’s only sold to scholars, and even if you got your hands on one, you wouldn’t be able to read what was inside. However, I can sell you the information inside for a noble.”

  I sighed. I’d been told scholars were information traders, but I hadn’t thought it would be this bad. I pulled out a silver piece. “What do I get for this?”

  She looked at the coin. “Several hours of my time answering any question you have pertaining to the information in the book.”

  “And the book holds information about every class along with all the books written for those classes.”

  “Yes.”

  I frowned. “Are there class books like that guide which can only be sold to scholars?”

  “There are many scholarly books with varying levels of complexity on a given subject and none of these can be sold to non-scholars or read by non-scholars. This book lists all of those, along with the books that are classed as non-scholarly that can be sold to anyone. However, just because I may be able to tell you the name of a book and what information it holds and of what quality, it does not mean you will be able to acquire a copy. Many books listed inside are extremely rare, especially if they have anything to do with magic.”

  I put the coin away. “I’ll have to think up a list of questions, but I will see you about that book in a few days.”

  She smiled. “I’m here every day until noon, except sixth day.”

  “I’ll remember. Now, about that scholar. When can I see him?”

  She laughed. “Nice try. I haven’t approved you yet.”

  I raised an eyebrow. “Should I have paid the silver instead of waiting to think of questions?”

  “No, that wouldn’t have helped you.”

  “What would help me then?”

  The girl stopped laughing. “How much do you know about Scholar Ranic?”

  “I know he’s the best, but that’s all.”

  Her shoulders slumped. “Scholar Ranic is a genius. He’s the only scholar in the city to have passed his second threshold. He is also a 143 years old and level 74. The old man has spent more gold on blessings to increase his attributes than I will make in my lifetime which is the only reason he still has his mind; as it is, he is still very old. He doesn’t handle much. He has outlived his wife, and his children, even most of his grandchildren. The only thing he has left is his work, and for that, he needs stimulants. So we make it a point not to send him any old farmer who has a request for information, only those who have something that will actually challenge him. So, if you want to see him, be interesting.”

  “The special promotions aren’t interesting enough by themselves?”

  “Possibly, and if they really are new, then that information will be enough for the old man to pass through his threshold, which will put him in your debt, but I truly doubt that they are, considering the material you’ve had for reference. Do you have anything more to add to your application?”

  I paused, considering my reply. Jeric and several sources within the city had told me that this was the man I wanted to see. Was it worth the risk to tell them I was trying to develop an exploit? No, probably not. If the man was a genius, he might discover what I was doing through my questions. And I didn’t want that.

  Maybe another sort of honesty would get me through the door, though. “Yes; tell him I hate farming and what I really want to know is how to level up my class to 100 without ever having to pick up a hoe again. Also, if there is a way to get through my first threshold without having to farm, I would love to hear it.”

  The girl smiled. “Oh, that might interest him.”

  The innkeeper’s son knocked on my door the next morning, waking me a few hours before my usual time. The sun was up as I glared around my room. The glare disappeared as I caught sight of the letter the boy was holding. I flicked him a copper piece to pay for the delivery, took the letter, and read, excitement mounting.

  An hour later, I stepped out of the hired carriage and hobbled into the Third Street house of scholars. Beth greeted me and led me through the building, up a flight of stairs, down sever
al different hallways to an unmarked door.

  She knocked loudly, opened the door before receiving a reply, and only stuck her head in. “Ranic, your morning appointment has arrived for his interview.”

  “Huh?” came a loud confused reply. The gravelly ruffled tone sounded tired, annoyed, and baffled. “I’m not interviewing someone today. I don’t have the time. I’m waiting for some idiot farmer to show up. He thinks he’s got a unique special promotion. I can’t wait to laugh at his face.”

  I swallowed.

  Ranic sounded like my great uncle, the last time we’d gone to visit him in the nursing home. He hadn’t recognised any of us, not even my grandfather, his brother.

  The girl sighed, her shoulders slumping as she began to glare. “You didn’t read the whole note, did you?”

  “I’m too old to read notes.” He must have seen her glare because he quickly added, “I skimmed the important bits.”

  Her glare turned into a scowl. “Read the note. I can see it there in front of you.”

  A few seconds passed. “Oh, that’s interesting, a farmer that doesn’t want to farm. And he wants to pass his first threshold without having to farm. I should interview him after I’ve dealt with…oh, wait, they are the same person. I see what happened. You put the interesting bit after the boring bit. You shouldn’t have done that. Well, let him in.”

  The girl pushed the door open and stepped back, giving me a half-smile that seemed to say good luck.

  I hobbled past her and made my way into a room that was half conspiracy theorist’s den and half nobleman’s library. Books lined three walls, sitting on shelves made of dark-stained wood shined to a mirror finish. On the other wall was a spider’s web of notes linked by coloured string and pieces of paper with single words written on them like ‘COW???’ and ‘MILK’.

  But none of that was as bizarre as the man sitting at the table in the centre of the room. He looked like a cross between Saruman and Doc from Back to the Future. His fine white hair stuck out in all directions like he’d been electrocuted and he had four days’ growth on his wrinkled cheeks and chin. His weird expression gave the impression he had forgotten how to interact with human beings and he wore grey robes that could have belonged to a down-on-his-luck wizard—or could have been a bathrobe. He was also painfully skinny, like the girl who was now walking away.

  He looked me up and down, sucking on his bottom lip. “What do I call you, Mr…ah…?”

  “Arnold,” I said, unsettled by the fact he couldn’t focus enough to read my name above my head.

  “Well, Arnold, I’m Ranic. Take a seat…there.” He pointed to the chair farthest from me. “I hope you are a betting man, Arnold, because I bet you a crown that you haven’t found a new promotion and you are wasting my time.” He pulled a gold crown out of his pocket and placed it on the table beside him.

  I looked at the coin and back at him as I made my way around the table and pulled out the hard wooden chair. “I’m not going to take your money.”

  He grinned, eyes opening too wide. “That confident, aye? Make it two crowns then.”

  I sighed. “It’s not confidence. You just worded the bet wrong. You’ve made your success conditional that I both haven’t found a new promotion and my inquires are not a waste of your time. If you find my questions interesting for a second, then you will lose the bet.”

  His smile widened and his eyes turned a little wild and buggy. “You noticed that. It shows you’re smarter than most that come through here. I like that. Might be hope for you winning the bet. Three crowns or I won’t help you.”

  “I think you might have a gambling problem.”

  “Chicken.”

  “Fine,” I said, finally annoyed enough to give in. I pulled the coins from my purse and placed them on the table. On any other day, I would have run from such a large bet, but I was reasonably confident I would win since he couldn’t read my name. Sure, I felt bad about taking advantage of the old man, but I needed his help, and he’d left me no other option.

  His smile grew wilder. “So what’s the name of this special promotion?”

  I paused. “I’d rather not say.”

  He chuckled. “You plan to fleece me if it really is unique…I can respect that…okay, let’s go. The note says you’ve got your first two promotions, so it shouldn’t take me too long to read through the lists. But it would be a whole lot faster if you are willing to give me the first letter of the name. Or if you think that’s giving too much away then you can just sit there and waste my time and yours.”

  “The first letter is M,” I said, seeing no reason not to tell him that much.

  Ranic nodded and pulled a small vial from his robes. He removed the stopper and poured a tiny amount of yellow powder onto the back of his hand.

  I watched with a fair amount of concern as he snorted the powder, went a little more bug-eyed, and put the vial away, behaving like this was absolutely normal. He then stood up and retrieved a book from the bookcase and sat back down. “Now, I could do this from memory, but I’m sure you would prefer to read it yourself. You can read, right?”

  “I can.”

  “Good, let’s begin. The first special promotion that begins with M is called Monster Terror. It is also the only special promotion.”

  “Shit.”

  He started laughing. “Manage to kill something defending your farm, huh? What was it?”

  “Pack of wolves,” I said.

  He stopped mid-chuckle and looked at me in shock. “You got all those levels from a pack of wolves?”

  “It was a big pack.”

  “Ah, you used the old trap them in your barn and burn it down trick.”

  “Something like that,” I said, trying to hide my disappointment over the fact that it was a known trick. It probably explained why I didn’t get the exploit reward.

  “Looks like you missed one.”

  “Hmmm…so, I’m guessing the other special promotion I was offered isn’t exactly unique either.”

  He shook his head. “I’m sorry, but they’re not. In fact, the whole range of special monster promotions is documented up to the tenth promotion. I can tell you about them if you would like to listen?”

  I couldn’t hide my surprise. “How did they manage to discover that?”

  “Farm-bred monsters.”

  “You can breed monsters!” My voice might have been a little bit higher pitched than it usually was with how quickly I replied.

  Ranic scratched his chin while he nodded his head. “Well, not any old monster. Only certain rare and special monsters can breed in captivity, and if their spawn is bred on a farm and killed on that same farm, they produce farmer experience which is how we now know about the ten promotions. Adventurers and nobles who get hold of these creatures do not like to advertise their existence, so most don’t know about them.”

  “Okay, that’s amazing and I want to hear more—but first, what are the other eight promotions?”

  Ranic sighed and leaned back in his chair. “To be honest, there is really only one that is interesting and that’s the fifth one. The special promotion increases the experience generated on a farm by 10% and a 100 when fully upgraded. It is twice as effective as the 5% basic version farmers gain access to at that level of promotion.”

  I tried to hide my excitement. “So you get 50% more experience than you usually receive when monsters are killed on your farm. I can see how that would be useful to someone who could breed monsters.”

  Ranic shook his head. “Were you listening? I said it increases the experience generated on a farm…that means all experience. It’s considered to be a legendary promotion.”

  My jaw dropped.

  I had so many questions.

  Ranic didn’t care. He just kept talking. “Now, the note said you were interested in raising your farming level without having to farm. That is stupidly simple—buy experience. As for getting through your thresholds, that is a little more difficult. You’re at your first threshold,
so you have more options than with the higher-level ones. One method would be to grow a perfect crop. It’s the highest rank of crop quality and a single successful crop will get you through that threshold. Since you don’t like farming, you likely can’t pull it off. So I would suggest you plant a heritage seed.”

  “What’s that?”

  Ranic went to the bookshelf, removed another book, flipped through, found the page he was looking for, and then showed me a picture with dozens of rainbow-coloured fruits. “It is a rare magical seed that can occur when an orchard produces a perfect crop. If the seed comes from a peach tree, then when it is planted, it will produce a random variety of magical peaches. Cuttings can be taken from this tree to produce more of them. It will also bring a field up ten levels when planted.”

  “Sounds expensive.”

  “A thousand crowns,” Ranic replied.

  My eyes went a little wide. “Are there any cheaper ways?”

  “Plenty, but they all involve farming. And you asked for a method that doesn’t. Now, if you are finished asking dumb questions, I will continue.”

  “I doubt I am, but please continue.”

  Ranic sighed and shook his head. He looked like he was about to continue and then suddenly paused. “I should have asked this earlier, but why are you interested in raising your level without farming?”

  “Oh, I’m incarnated. I want to get a new class.”

  Ranic’s smiled excitedly. “Damn, that’s actually interesting.” He put his hand over the gold coins and slid them across the table to me. “Now, where was I?”

  Your relationship with Ranic has improved from Neutral to Interested. Ranic finds you interesting enough to share a conversation.

  Chapter Fifteen

  EVERYBODY NEEDS THEIR GANDALF

  Well done, you have successfully implemented your sheep anatomy lore, butchering a sheep carcass to a decent quality, showing you have gained greater comprehension of sheep anatomy lore, earning you a new rank of understanding in this field. You can now boast that you understand sheep anatomy lore as well as any Apprentice.