Oh Great! I was Reincarnated as a Farmer

by Benjamin Kerei

  I reached down and touched the wolf.

  Well done, you have successfully defended your farm against 16 Wolves.

  I held my right hand out and felt a grapefruit-sized green crystal begin to form.

  You have earned 67,608 farmer experience. Would you like to absorb it?

  Yes/No?

  I stared in shock for a second, not at the experience but at the number of wolves killed. Using the four trapdoors around the house, I’d only caught eight, including the one I just killed. Salem had led the rest away. He must have been leading them across the farm into the other pitfalls.

  I quickly jammed the crystal into my pocket and ran the last thirty feet to the house, heading for the nearest unlocked shutter. This madness had lasted less than five minutes, but I felt exhausted, strung-out. Fear and stress made it hard to think. My survival instincts were in overdrive.

  I got the shutter open, leapt through, and then slammed it closed behind me, flicking the latch. No wolves would follow me inside ever again. I didn’t stop to rest. There wasn’t time. I ran into my room and knocked the ogre skull off the top of the chest at the foot of my bed so I could get to the contents within. I had no idea if there were other cyclopes out there—I couldn’t hear any chanting, but that didn’t mean anything. They hadn’t started until they saw me. And then they had just kept coming. I needed to keep moving.

  I considered climbing into my safe room under the house. But with the barn burning down, I didn’t want to do that unless I couldn’t make a run for it. It wasn’t airtight and I didn’t like the idea of suffocating to death while the house burned down above me.

  The chest opened and I pulled out the backpack inside. The backpack held all my money along with all the experience and magical ingredients I’d accumulated in the two months since my return. There was also a change of clothes and some jerky for if my stamina got low. I opened the backpack and tossed the new experience inside before buckling it closed.

  I threw the pack over my shoulders and tied it in place so that it wouldn’t come loose while I ran. Then I walked to the other room and grabbed the machete from where I’d left it.

  I took a breath, trying to calm my racing heart.

  I had an important decision to make.

  I could go out on the side of the house that was away from the barn or I could go out on the side closest to it. The one farther away would most likely keep me away from cyclopes if they were around, but it might put me closer to the wolves. It also had the drawback of there being less light, so I wouldn’t be able to see something sneaking up on me. I would also be running across open fields with long grass rather than compact road which would slow me down.

  The side by the barn it was.

  I tightened my grip on my war pitchfork and machete and made my way through the farmhouse. I opened the shutters a crack. The heat coming from the barn washed over my face and light showed everything for two hundred feet.

  The fire from the barn was too big.

  I’d made the right choice.

  The house was definitely going to burn down.

  I couldn’t see any cyclopes or wolves, except for the four in cages, so I opened the shutters wider, preparing to climb out. Growls filled the night and I stepped back inside and yanked the shutters closed just as Salem ran into the light.

  He didn’t even seem strained as he turned and looked at the shutter I stood behind. “Flee to the village, or you will die,” he said quickly, without slowing his pace or giving further explanation. He didn’t have time.

  Three dozen wolves led by another wolf the size of a moose ran out of the darkness close on Salem's heels, doing everything in their power to chase him down and kill him.

  Within seconds of Salem giving me his message, they were gone.

  I gave him another thirty seconds to get farther away and then opened the door, climbed out, and started running. I shot past the barn entrance, now completely engulfed in flames, only to slow my step at the last second.

  On the ground, fifty feet from the barn entrance, was a young cyclops covered in burns trying to pull itself away from the fire. Its legs were too melted to walk and it was crying out in pain.

  I pitied the poor murder machine enough to change my path and bring my machete down on its neck a few times, putting it out of its misery. As its head rolled away, I slapped my hand against its corpse and immediately dismissed the prompt that appeared.

  I grabbed the machete handle between my teeth, freeing my right hand so the experience could appear, and started to run using the road to my full advantage.

  What I wouldn’t give for a pair of running shoes or motorbike right now, I thought, as I tried to run in the boots I was wearing.

  I shoved the experience in my pocket the moment it finished forming and pulled the bloody machete from my teeth so I could breathe.

  Behind me, in the distance, something cracked. The sound was reminiscent of the time I heard a tree go down in a storm. I glanced over my shoulder in the direction of the sound. Through the flames, past the house, at the edge of the tree line stood an enormous figure, holding a club thicker than the barn’s support beams.

  It had to be more than twenty-five feet tall. But there was more to its presences than just its size and height. It exuded power, in a way I couldn’t describe or understand. It didn’t exist on the scale that trolls or ogres did. It existed on the scale of hurricanes and tsunamis. It was a force on nature. I felt insignificant while looking at it, somehow instinctively knowing that there wasn’t a damn thing I would do to harm it.

  My stomach dropped and I ran faster.

  I ran past the boundary of my farm and just kept going, heading for the village. I didn’t slow. Not with that behind me.

  Nearly a minute passed before the creature released a deep, primal roar. Months ago, I had experienced a troll’s roar from forty feet away. It had been so powerful that it caused me to be stunned, locking my muscle so I couldn’t move. This was on another scale, just like my instincts warned me.

  A wave of force picked me up and threw me five feet. I bounced across the ground, turning end over end, feeling the roar in every cell in my body. Pain erupted across my palms and legs, and the health bar in the corner of my vision shrunk slightly, but that was an afterthought as I shoved myself back to my feet and kept running.

  I was more than three hundred yards away from it. There was no doubt in my mind that if I were any closer, I would have been stunned again. I had to get away. I had to run faster.

  Instinct took over, no longer leaving any room for thought. The will to survive coursed through me. I was barely holding my mind together at this point. My hands were shaking. Goosebumps covered my skin. I couldn’t control my breathing. Every last ounce of sanity was being used to stop me from screaming. I wanted to do it so badly, but screaming might attract the attention of whatever that was, and that was unsurvivable.

  So I ran, more afraid than I had ever been in my life.

  Another minute passed before a second roar knocked me over. I got to my feet as I heard the sound of crashing. I looked back to see the silhouette of the giant against the flames of the burning barn. Its head towered above the roof of my barn as it picked up one of the caged wolves, put the whole cage in its mouth, and began chewing. I was wrong. It wasn’t taller than twenty-five feet it was taller than thirty.

  You are frightened.

  I don’t remember anything after that.

  The last ounces of sanity fled in terror.

  One second I was staring at the giant, the next, I was slamming my fist against the eastern gate, screaming at them to let me in, shouting incoherently about the giant.

  The guard on duty opened the gate immediately.

  I didn’t stop screaming as I squeezed my way in through the gap. The guard was saying something, but I wasn’t listening. Suddenly, I was pulled backwards.

  The last thing I saw was a fist.

  It was an hour after dawn when Brill finally came to check o
n me. By that point, I’d spent several hours trying to acclimate to laying on the ground having a gag in my mouth and limbs tied so tight I couldn’t move more than a couple of inches.

  If I weren’t so worried about the village, I would have worried about being eaten alive looking like a bondage-themed hors d’oeuvre. I mean, there was no dignity in a death like that.

  Brill gave me a friendly smile, displaying crooked teeth, as he opened the jail cell door. We had drunk and gambled together enough times that we knew each other well. He didn’t even comment on the fact that I’d soiled myself and the smell was obvious. “Sorry about the treatment, Arnold. You were within the blast radius of the giant’s roar and were suffering the effects of its fearful aura. You started screaming when you reached the village and were loud enough to draw attention. We couldn’t spare the time to pull you out of it, so the captain hit you good, and had us tie you up and leave you here. You are damn lucky to be alive.” In a much more sober tone, he added. “We all are.”

  Brill came forward, fighting off a yawn, and undid my gag.

  “Did anyone get hurt?” The question had been plaguing me for hours, ever since I woke and found myself tied up.

  He began working on my bindings, nimble fingers making quick progress through the numerous knots. “No, we saw it early and snuffed out the few lamps left burning in the village before the giant could notice. We had the villagers flee before you arrived. We stayed on the wall in case it went after them, hoping to attract it towards the village if we had to. We were more than a little surprised to see you arrive. We’d all given you up for dead.”

  “Where is it now?” I couldn’t stop panic from entering my tone. Nauseating waves of fear rolled through me. I never wanted to go near that creature again. There wasn’t a barn big enough to kill something like that.

  Brill patted my shoulder, reassuringly. “It went back into the forest just before dawn. A runner has been sent after the villagers to call them back and the mayor wants to talk to you.”

  As Brill undid the last of the ropes, circulation returned and pins and needles shot through my limbs. Brill didn’t give me time to work the life back into my body. He grabbed me under the armpit and lifted me to my feet.

  “Follow me.”

  Brill led me through the guards’ barracks, grabbing my pack as we passed it. Every bunk held a sleeping body. None of the thirty guards had removed their armour. They’d just lain down and gone to sleep, so they would be ready at a moment’s notice.

  Once we were outside, Brill walked me across the square to Jeric’s front door. He knocked twice, waited for the butler to open the door, and said, “Farmer Arnold, delivered as requested.” Then he turned and left, undoubtedly heading for bed.

  Hamlin evaluated me, his expression guarded. “I’ve been informed that you have soiled yourself. I have taken the liberty of filling a bath so that you do not appear within my master’s presence quite so unpleasantly. Follow me.”

  I was led to a room with a stone floor near the back of the manor. There was a large empty bucket where I was told to put my clothes and a tub filled with soapy water. A second bucket of hot soapy water and a cloth was supplied for me to clean myself with before climbing in the tub.

  I scrubbed myself down with the bucket and cloth as quickly as I could, removing the mentioned unpleasantness, and then climbed into the tub. I scrubbed myself down a second time and then climbed out, dried myself, and dressed in the change of clothes I had in my pack rather than the ones that had been supplied.

  Bathing and dressing didn’t take long. I’d woken up hours ago and with no ability to run I been left alone with my thoughts. I didn’t need more time. I didn’t need to think anything else through. It was time for me to face judgement.

  The moment I stepped out of the room, Hamlin appeared as if by magic. “This way, sir.”

  I followed him through the house to the parlour.

  I knew that this was the end of my experiment. Trolls and ogres had been bad, the cyclopes were worse, but whatever that thing had been, it was in a whole other category of dangerous. There was no way Jeric would let me continue. It was too risky. Not that I wanted to continue. My knees shook just thinking about that monster.

  I was done.

  The sounds of laughter cut through my musings as I approached the open parlour door. Jeric and Ranic sat at the table, sharing a bottle of wine, smiling ear to ear.

  Jeric saw me approach and his grin widened. “Here he is. The saviour of Blackwood.”

  Ranic looked over his shoulder and raised his glass of wine to me. “Glory to your health, Arnold.”

  Jeric quickly followed suit.

  I stared at them as Hamlin let me in and closed the door behind me, giving us privacy. “What’s going on?”

  Ranic chuckled. “You saved the village, that’s what’s going on.”

  “I almost killed everyone,” I said angrily. In the cell, I’d had hours to reflect on my actions and what I had done was clearly rash, if not outright criminal.

  “Well, technically, you might have done that too.” Ranic waved to the empty seat. “Sit, and we’ll explain.”

  Jeric filled a spare glass and handed it to me as I sat. I took a large gulp to soothe my nerves and immediately felt better as my socialite ability kicked in. Ranic’s socialite ability had started to loosen me up, but it didn't work as fast as when I drank myself.

  Ranic grinned, understanding what I was doing. “So, you know how I’ve been wondering why your farm keeps getting attacked by ogres and trolls…well, last night we found out why. There’s a damn level 47 primitive giant lurking in the forest.”

  I turned to Jeric, repressing a shudder. “I promise you I didn’t know. If I had, I never would have risked bringing it here.”

  Jeric snorted and shook his head. “Arnold, we are happy you did. We’re celebrating our good fortune.”

  “I don’t understand.” My hands were shaking, so I gripped the armrests on my chair.

  The frightened effect was not like being stunned. It didn’t just fade away and let everything go back to normal. It rewired your brain, the same way it would be if you had truly experienced that level of fear. Thinking about the primitive giant was not something I could easily do. Just hearing the creature’s actual name had triggered my fear again.

  Jeric sighed, ignoring my trembling. “All giants are dangerous, but they are the most dangerous during their adolescent phase when they are growing. During that time, they are angry, ravenous, destructive, and fiercely territorial. So much so that they are kicked out of their tribes.”

  Ranic nodded. “Lone adolescent giants wander until they find a territory they like and then claim it. As they grow in levels and size, so does their territory. The fact that your actions brought it to your farm and then it left means that we are just outside of its territory…in a few more months, maybe a year at the most, we would have been inside it. Then, it would have attacked.”

  Jeric shuddered. “We wouldn’t have known it was coming. Hundreds might have died.” Jeric raised his glass. “To unexpected fortune.”

  I raised my glass but didn’t return the gesture. I took a long drink, draining the glass dry, finally understanding why they were celebrating. It was like knowing there was a hurricane coming and being able to prepare, rather than a sudden eruption of a volcano surprising you at the last minute. You weren’t happy it was there, but the warning let you limit some of the fallout. “So, what happens now?”

  Jeric leaned over and refilled my glass. “Now we wait. I’ve already contacted the adventurers’ guild with our giant issue. They should get back to me within a few hours. Once they’ve dealt with the giant, you can go back to your experiments.”

  “You want me to go back to my experiments?”

  Ranic nodded, without a hint of bug-eyed-ness. “I believe the giant explains why you’ve been attracting so much attention. The trolls and ogres are gathering as much food as they can to appease the giant while it grows.
Once it’s gone, I don’t think they will be quite so diligent. I hope you managed to kill something before that giant showed up because you have to rebuild your house and barn. There’s not much left, I’m afraid.”

  Jeric snapped his fingers. “Oh, that reminds me. The captain said this fell out of your pocket when he knocked you out.” Jeric fumbled behind him and grabbed a golfball-sized green crystal I’d received from killing the baby cyclops. “He’s impressed you managed to kill something so powerful. You should go thank him. Not many men are so honest that they will return a purse full of gold.”

  “I will,” I promised, taking back the crystal.

  Ranic shook his head. “I expected you to get a little more experience considering how much you’ve been bringing in. Too bad; you would have been able to afford the heritage seed and pass through your first threshold.”

  I finally smiled. “That was just from a young cyclops. I’ve the experience from fourteen others and sixteen wolves in my bag.”

  Ranic began choking, and instead of looked happy, an expression of horror crossed his face. “Did you loot their corpse for items?”

  My smile vanished. “No, just the experience.”

  He turned to Jeric. “That explains why the giant stayed until dawn.”

  Jeric nodded. “It was eating. How much does that change your assessment of the situation?”

  Ranic shook his head. “If it ate that much, then it may have enough experience to reach its next threshold. It will go through a growth spurt over the next few months. It’s a much bigger threat than we first assumed.”

  Jeric stood up. “I’ll update the adventurers’ guild and see what they can do to speed up their arrival.”

  Chapter Twenty-One

  FRIENDSHIP AND EXPLOITATION

  The sounds of smashing crockery and Jeric swearing was loud enough to be heard from across the square and it drew me away from the book I was reading in Gretel’s inn. After leaving Jeric’s place I’d slept the rest of the day and all through the night, finding I needed a lot of rest after everything that happened. Salem had stopped by long enough to tell me he was moving in with Ranic and not to come looking for him until he was ready to put up with my stupidity. He didn’t want to see me at all. I put the book down and finished the last of my ale. Drinking was the only thing that stopped me from trembling.