Oh Great! I was Reincarnated as a Farmer

by Benjamin Kerei

  Her actions yesterday were supposed to break me. Make me fearful. All she had done was turn me against her.

  “I do,” I said. “But I will do so through the legal channels. Am I still able to meet with my lawyer?”

  Fredrick nodded slowly. “Yes.”

  “Send for him. If there is nothing else, I’m going to go have a nap.”

  The look on Fredrick’s face grew more and more concerned as I walked past him and into the palace.

  A servant knocked on my bedroom door several hours later, waking me for a second time.

  “Landlord Arnold, the regent would like to speak with you immediately.”

  “Give me a minute,” I said groggily.

  I threw on the clothes I'd left out. I’d packed the rest away in preparation for my departure. My guitar had arrived while I was out and was now sitting beside my luggage, begging to be played. I hadn’t had the energy to do anything more the open the case and examine it before putting it away again. Maybe I would get a chance to play it later.

  It was a beautiful instrument. Simple white paint slowly shifted to yellow as it worked its way from the bottom to the top. Silver vines and flowers overlaid it all, reminding me of a garden. It was both elegant and uncomplicated, something I felt entirely comfortable with.

  I exited my bedroom, nearly running into the servant due to my new speed. He hastily stepped back, getting out of my way. I waved my lawyer, Arba, over to join us from where he sat on the couch. He’d turned up about an hour ago thinking he was here to deal with my imprisonment. I’d woken up long enough to ask him to wait in the sitting room and entertain himself and then gone back to sleep.

  He quickly gathered his documents. I could see the servant wanted to protest but didn’t know how or if he was even allowed to. So, he wisely kept his mouth shut.

  I nodded to the door.

  The two of us followed the servant through the palace in silence. When we arrived at the great hall, we were made to wait outside for several minutes. Arba tried to engage me in conversation, but I kept avoiding it. The less he knew, the safer he would likely be. The only reason he was here was that I needed a witness. I didn’t trust the regent not to fabricate some story after I was gone.

  The great hall doors opened. The announcer cleared his throat, eyeing me sideways, and announced us in, pausing ever so slightly before he said my name, like he didn’t want to be the one to say it.

  We entered.

  The last time I walked into the great hall I was charmed. The heads mounted on the walls had caught my attention, but even their imposing sight hadn’t managed to remove the sense of celebration and fun that filled the room.

  Today, anger clung to everything and the heads seemed more like victims than trophies.

  The herald’s voice echoed through the cavernous room as I walked forward. The regent sat on her peacock throne, flanked by a dozen advisors and servants. Her gaze seemed strained. Being torn apart by cluster worms did that to you.

  Jeric and his family stood before her with Pater at their side. Jeric and his wife seemed calm, but Emily seemed to be shaking. The regent was looking down at them with open frustration.

  I calmly fell in beside them, managing not to turn and smile in their direction.

  The regent glared at me for several seconds, unable to hide her hate. The look twisted her pretty face into something ugly enough to match the person inside. “It is my duty to inform you all that you have been summoned to appear before the king tomorrow morning. Special access to the city’s teleportation circle has been granted. You will gather your property and leave within the hour.”

  I smiled as I looked her in the eye. “Thank you for your hospitality this past month. And thank you for delivering the king’s message.”

  It was against protocol for me to speak when not spoken to first. But, I was also a farmer. Therefore, she didn’t have much of a leg to stand on when it came to a breach in etiquette. And I had worded my reply carefully enough that anyone listening would only hear me thanking her. Not rubbing her face in the fact that I had forced her to be little more than a messenger.

  It was small and petty, but I was in a small and petty mood.

  Her face went red, and for a moment, I thought she might pop a blood vessel or attack me. The arms of her throne squeaked under the force of her grip. “You are most welcome, Farmer Arnold. I look forward to our next meeting.”

  Chapter Thirty-Four

  MEETING THE KING

  Breakfast with the king’s royal council was not exactly what I’d expected when we received a summons from the king. The dining room was brightly lit, with a view of the palace gardens, which was some of the only greenery within the city limits. Any business talk was forbidden until after everyone had eaten, so nothing had been accomplished by this meeting so far.

  Jeric’s father, Eric, sat beside him as support. The two men were almost identical in appearance, and the older man’s level was high enough to make him look younger than he was, making them seem like twins.

  Since Eric had taken an oath not to divulge the secret of the method before Jeric shared it, he could not participate in the negotiations on the king’s behalf. Instead, he was our advocate, the member of the council whose job it was to convince the other members that what we had was worth their time and the king’s investment.

  Royal Councilman Minder wiped his mouth with his napkin as the servants took away our empty plates. “Nobleman Jeric, the royal council is willing to accept your terms on the king’s behalf. The title for Blackwood will be given to your daughter, Emily, and the crown will pay for the construction of five magical buildings and supply them with academy-trained retainers who are capable of operating them for the first decade, owned by Landlord Arnold and selected at his discretion with the approval of the village’s future lord. As the village is only currently level three, and possess a single magical building, three of these buildings will be held in reserve until the village levels. Do we have an agreement?”

  Minder’s words sent a small zap of shock through me. I turned to my friend. Jeric hadn’t told me he'd bargained for additional rewards.

  Jeric cleared his throat, trying a little too hard to pretend I wasn’t staring at him. “We do, councilman.”

  All four councilmembers smiled at his words, some a little more than others, but they all seemed happy with the outcome.

  Jeric leaned over and whispered, “You are welcome.”

  “Why didn’t you tell me?” I whispered back.

  “I wasn’t sure if they would accept and I didn’t want to get your hopes up for nothing.”

  “Fair call.” I grinned. “Thank you.”

  Minder turned and regarded me once his smile wore off. “Landlord Arnold, the crown accepts your offer to purchase the land from Blackwood’s villagers in its stead once an abandonment order has been given. We will require 20,000 crowns be transferred to the crown's coffers before the order is issued.”

  I looked around the table, eyeing the council nervously, unsure of what to do. I hadn’t really expected them to get straight to the point. My experience with nobles so far had been that they liked to take their time. These four seemed all business. “Am I supposed to hand it over here?”

  Minder gave a small chuckle. “No. The king’s treasurer will be along shortly. You can hand it to him. Also, Councilman Eric has put your name forward for an additional reward as you are the chief creator of this method. The exact nature of this reward will be proposed by the council to the king once our oaths have been administrated and we understand its significance.”

  Cool.

  I hadn’t expected any reward after Jeric wrangling Emily’s title from them, but I was happy to accept one along with my new magical buildings.

  Minder cleared his throat. “Since we all agree, I see no reason to hold off on taking an oath. Are there any objections?”

  We both shook our heads.

  The royal oath binder, who was seated down the end of the t
able, rose with a contract that was a dozen pages long, and began explaining its contents to everyone, making sure we were all in agreement. Ranic understood the method I had created, but he’d already sworn an oath of secrecy to me, so there was a clause that said I wasn’t allowed to use him to inform others of the method. I hadn’t mentioned Salem, but I couldn’t mention him, so I’d been careful to word my responses by saying that no other person knew the method. Salem being a familiar didn’t fit that definition. Jeric had a similar clause for his butler and the captain of the guard.

  Once the oath binder went through the contract, we all made our oaths. After several large glasses of brandy to calm our nerves, we got down to the business of sharing the method with the councilmembers.

  Three-quarters of the way through my explanation, Councilwoman Meri blurted out, “You’ve solved the Stagnation Dilemma! Scholars have been working on that for centuries!”

  I paused. “What’s the Stagnation Dilemma?”

  Eric cleared his throat. “I can explain most effectively as I have had the time to consider the ramifications of his discovery.”

  The councilmembers nodded their agreement.

  Eric turned to me. “It’s commonly accepted that the laws are balanced. That in every hardship, there is an opportunity for growth. The Stagnation Dilemma is a line of scholarly pursuit focused on stagnating villages and towns. It has always been believed that there must be a mechanism by which a town or village in poor condition could turn itself around. This is apparently that method. If you require a greater explanation, I would be happy to answer later. For now, please continue with your explanation.”

  I did as Eric asked, explaining what we had done and why. They had Jeric go through the same process. And then they began questioning us in detail. The questions started simple, but pretty soon, they were asking about things I had never considered and, in several cases, things I did not know. None of them was satisfied until they removed every crumb of information we possessed.

  I was feeling like a dried-up sponge by the time the treasurer arrived to take the gold. And there were still more questions after that.

  When it was finally over, Eric led us to another official-looking room where Jeric’s family was waiting. The room seemed like a smaller version of a throne room due to the throne-like chair in the middle of the far wall. The rest of the council went off to inform the king of their findings.

  Jeric and his father made small talk, beginning polite but distant. The two men didn’t really know each other as royal councilmembers were not allowed to have families. This was only the fifth time they had met.

  Without Jeric to talk to, I was left standing beside the window. I looked out across the garden, thinking about how life had led me here. I mean, I was in a king’s palace, an actual king’s palace. If you had told me two years ago that I’d be in a king’s palace doing business, I would have called you crazy. You wouldn’t have even had to mention that the palace was in another universe. That was how insane I considered the situation.

  I was lost in my thoughts when Emily wandered over.

  She wore a simple purple dress with a pin holding her hair, so it tumbled over her shoulders attractively. She smiled, looking out the window. “It’s beautiful, isn’t it?”

  Bright flowers and carefully sculpted shrubs filled the view. “Yes.”

  “The trees remind me of home. That’s why I love coming here for the garden parties.”

  “I think you are misremembering home,” I said. “There is nothing this majestic in Blackwood.”

  Emily scowled for a second, losing the wallflower look she so carefully tried to maintain in public. “And there is nothing like this anywhere else in the capital. You saw it last night. Everything is stone. I miss the green of open spaces.”

  “If you say so.”

  “I do…my father said it was your idea to make me the lord of Blackwood.”

  The direction of the conversation changed so fast it threw me for a second. I frowned. “I’m sorry if that upsets you, but you were the only one the regent couldn’t touch.”

  “I know. My parents explained that too. Actually, they explained many things, but they left out a lot. Details they said they couldn’t share outside a quiet room. That in itself is telling. A month ago, I would have said there was nothing my parents needed a quiet room for. Now it seems like a necessity for almost every conversation we have. It makes me wonder about you.”

  A grin formed as I watched a gardener working on one of the hedge sculptures. “Wonder what?”

  “Whether or not you expect me to be your wife.”

  “Wait, what?” My head turned so fast I think I gave myself whiplash. Pain flared across my neck. Emily was looking at me utterly serious. The look alone made me hear police sirens. “No, no…no, no, no.”

  “So you haven’t approached my parents with a betrothal offer?”

  My face felt hot. “Um, again, no.” The words came out too high-pitched. “Why would you think that?”

  She started counting off her reasons. “Well, you helped my father gain all that experience, and then you helped me pass through my threshold. You’ve somehow managed to gain me a title for our village where you are a landlord. That added to the fact that you are wealthy enough means it would make sense for my parents to agree to a marriage proposal. With all those reasons, it is the only reasonable conclusion.”

  “That’s the only reasonable conclusion?”

  She nodded seriously. “Yes. The parties we were invited to over these past few weeks have earned us a fairly large amount of experience, compared to the past. If our betrothal were public knowledge, those invitations would end. It makes complete sense that my parents would keep it secret from me.” There was an undercurrent of barely controlled anger and hurt in her tone.

  I swallowed. Of all the things I thought I would have to deal with, this was not one of them. “Well, start looking for a less reasonable conclusion. Once you have that conclusion, go even less reasonable, and once you have that, go one step further, and then you might be close to what’s actually going on.”

  “So, we aren’t secretly betrothed?”

  “Again, no.” I turned to her parents, fighting heart palpitations. “Jeric, tell your daughter that I have never approached you about marrying her and that we aren’t secretly betrothed. She won’t believe me.”

  Jeric paused his conversation and turned to me, fighting a smile. “Emily, Arnold has never approached me about marrying you, and you certainly are not secretly betrothed to him as compensation for the many large favours I might owe him.”

  My stomach dropped. “Not like that. Say it like it’s true.”

  Isabelle scowled at her husband. “I told you she would come to this conclusion. Emily, I promise you, your father and I have not sold you off to marry Arnold or anyone else.”

  Jeric was openly laughing now. “That’s not true. I got two cows and a goat. It was a wonderful deal.”

  Emily began to growl, but at least it wasn’t aimed towards me, so I didn’t care.

  Eric hid his laughter behind his hand. It seemed he and his son shared the same sense of humour.

  Isabelle came and led Emily away, talking in a soft soothing tone, the way my mother used to do when I was upset at her age. She didn’t get halfway across the room before a servant appeared.

  “The king is coming.”

  Eric waved everyone over and got us into position while Isabelle tried to quietly reassure Emily.

  I swear, an honest-to-god trumpeter came into the room and blasted us with sound before a herald appeared and announced the king.

  The king strode in, followed by a dozen guards and his council. If you took the epitome of what a king should look like and combined it with a bodybuilder, an underwear model, and Hercules, then you wouldn’t be far off describing him.

  I couldn’t guess his age because he somehow managed to look youthful and respectably aged at the same time. He towered over me at six and a hal
f feet, with broad shoulders and massive arms. His chestnut hair was cut short and he had the densest beard I’d ever seen on a man. His intelligent gaze took in every detail of the room with a single glance and I felt the moment our eyes met in my core. Every cell in my body said this was a man. I suddenly understood how Starlord felt when Drax called him a dude.

  The urge to bow gripped me, and my body bent willingly without need for me to consciously do so. Every cell in my body told me this individual deserved it.

  The king strode across the room and took a seat on the throne. “You may rise,” he said, voice commanding like a general yet as warm and loving as a grandfather speaking with his grandchildren.

  I straightened. I’d been around nobles with high charisma, but the king existed on a whole different level. Even with my mark and all that practice, I couldn’t stop myself from staring.

  An aide came forward with a book and presented it to the king.

  The king took the book and his gaze fell on Emily. She blushed, trembling. “Noblewoman Emily, on my authority, before these witnesses, I grant you the title of Lord over the village of Blackwood to the third generation.”

  As the king made his proclamation, light enveloped Emily and a large silver crystal of experience formed in her right hand.

  The king turned his attention to Jeric. Jeric had the exact same reaction I did. His face flushed and awe filled his gaze.

  “Nobleman Jeric, your king and your kingdom thank you for coming to my council with this method. It will do a lot of good.”

  The herald slammed his staff against the ground. “Nobleman Jeric, the king has addressed you. You may reply.”

  Jeric straightened, his gaze changed, suddenly strength filled him. He dropped to a knee and bowed his head, hand over heart. “My king, I have stood my watch against the night with candle flame and courage. Now sunrise beckons me home to rest and I am weary.”

  The king rose from his throne. The light in the room seemed to grow brighter. A kind smile touched his lips as he stepped toward Jeric. He placed his hand on the top of Jeric’s head. “Honoured watchmen who stood guard while I slept, your duty is done. Now take your rest.”