Oh Great! I was Reincarnated as a Farmer

by Benjamin Kerei

  She took a breath, paused again, and then shook her head. “Let me clarify. I know how you gained so many levels so quickly and what you plan to do about the giant. So I will ask you again. What is your plan for my village?”

  I grinned. “Oh, you mean those plans…I’m going to expand. I’m going to see if my methods work on a larger scale.”

  She took a deep breath and pressed her lips together. “That is dangerous.”

  “I’m trying to fix that. I know a lot more about monsters than I did a few months ago and I’m currently rethinking my entire approach.”

  “Why?”

  “My understanding was wrong. I thought the monsters around the village were normal monsters, but they’re not. They’re resistant to the village’s aura that is supposed to keep monstrosities from coming anywhere near the village border. Luckily this resistance is rare; only about one in a thousand monsters have it. So when my barns finish culling these monsters around Blackwood, there won’t be any replacements for years.”

  She frowned. “Do you plan to move your operation to another village when that happens?”

  “If I can discover how to do so safely, I intend to do so before that happens.”

  The carriage hit a pothole and we both grabbed our seats to steady ourselves. Damn potholes. For at least the twentieth time since starting the journey back to Blackwood, I wished I'd have been a car guy. With my new memory, I would have been able to teach them how to build decent suspension. I could remember what suspension looked like, but I had no idea how it worked.

  “You don’t like Blackwood do you, Arnold?”

  The uneasy feeling grew as I returned my focus to Emily. What was the point of this conversation? “Blackwood is nice, but I’m used to living in cities like the capital. It’s where I grew up. It’s where I feel at home.”

  “That is unfortunate. What do you plan to do with Blackwood when you leave?”

  “What do you mean?”

  “You own the majority of the village. What will become of it when you depart?”

  “I haven’t thought that far ahead.”

  “You need to. Because of what you’ve done, my entire future—and likely my children’s and grandchildren’s future—rests on your decision.”

  “No pressure.”

  “It is a lot of pressure.”

  “It’s a figure of speech.”

  She smirked.

  It finally clicked. Damn, I was slow sometimes. “You’re messing with me.”

  The smirk grew. “How dare you, sir. I am a lord and lords do not mess with people. We are serious, responsible individuals.”

  I started chuckling. “Uh-huh…and how much of what you’ve just said was bull?”

  She shrugged. “You’re smart. I’m sure you will work it out.”

  “So, what did you really want to talk about?”

  Her shoulders relaxed. “I wanted to thank you for everything…I wanted to say it properly, but it has taken me a while to find the right words. I don’t know what my father has told you, but I’ve always wanted to remain a noble. I can remember sitting on his lap as a child listening to him explain how he was trying to help Blackwood. Even then, I wanted to be like him. I wanted to be helpful. Now thanks to you, I can be everything I always wanted to be. So thank you for helping my father gain the experience he gave me. And thank you for convincing him to have the king give me the title of lord.”

  I wanted to be cheeky and say that her mother would be proud, but I had a feeling she might just feel comfortable enough to kick me if I did. “You’re welcome.”

  She laughed. “Also, thank you for the blessings. Thank you for the help with my song. Thank you for finding a master farming scholar and convincing him to run a house of scholars in Blackwood. Have I missed anything?”

  I chuckled. “I helped remove the stagnation debuff the village was under.”

  “Oh, thank you for that too.”

  “I also didn’t ask your father to secretly betroth us without telling you.”

  “Oh, yes, thank you, thank you, thank you.” She started giggling. “Oh, and thank you for giving my father the exploit.”

  “Actually, you don’t have to thank me for that one.”

  She frowned. “Why not?”

  “It’s a little embarrassing to admit, but I didn’t know I created it until he told me.”

  Her eyes widened. “He didn’t say that. Is that true?”

  “Yeah, I was trying to get free land and accidentally stumbled upon it.”

  Her giggles turned into full-blown laughter. “You mean this all happened because you were trying to save a few crowns?”

  That was actually a pretty funny way of summing up the situation. I found myself laughing uncontrollably. Emily joined in. Almost a minute passed before either of us could regain our composure.

  Emily smiled as she wiped tears from her eyes. “I have to ask, but why are you wearing that?”

  “What’s wrong with my overalls?”

  “Well, they look ridiculous while travelling, but I was referring to the hat.”

  My eyes travelled upwards to where the brim of the straw hat poked out above my forehead. “This is literally the most comfortable clothing I have ever worn. And despite what you might have heard, I’m a simple guy. If it’s comfortable, I’ll wear it.”

  Emily shook her head. “Why do you even have farmer’s overalls? My father says you hate farming.”

  “I purchased an ability called hunter’s gambit while in Melgrim. And a bunch of items to increase my movement speed so I could lure the you-know-what to you-know-where if it became necessary. I was told that falling over while running twice as fast as a galloping horse could kill me and the overalls should help me survive that. Now that my constitution is so high, that shouldn’t be a problem. But it’s still better to be safe than sorry.”

  “So is that why you purchased all those blessings?”

  “No, I’ve just wanted them ever since I heard about them.”

  She giggled. “That is probably the most normal answer I’ve ever heard from you.”

  My eyebrows rose. “Why’s that funny?”

  “Well, you are sort of bizarre. I mean, every conversation I’ve ever had about you has been anything but normal. They almost always involve you doing something crazy. I don’t even know how long you have been in Blackwood because that’s too droll for a conversation about you. It’s maddening. You seem to have numerous accomplishments in only a short amount of time and many of them seem to occur in the same week.”

  I snorted. “If you want to know how long I’ve been in Blackwood, you will have to give me a minute to think about it. I’ve got perfect recall, but my agility is so far behind that it can take me a while to go through everything.”

  I began to think back, starting from when I came out of the fast travelling haze. There was getting used to the village and going into the forest. I recalled the feeling of the puma’s claws cutting into my leg and pushed on to the next phase. There was roughly six months, during which I was learning to read and write before I discovered the passage about the goblin in the farmer’s guide book. Then there was the time it took to get everything in order to start. The time it took to get my first success with the fox and my almost complete failure with the first trolls. Then there was the recovery and second attempt at making my trap system work before the giant arrived, which was ten weeks ago.

  Emily watched me, waiting for my answer.

  “About a year and a half, but it feels so much shorter than that. And that’s not just the higher intelligence talking. It really doesn’t feel that long.” I shook my head, thinking about everything that had happened. “You know, if your father had asked me a year ago where I would be today, I never would have guessed I could accomplish this much. I mean, between my level, the experience I have stored up, the blessings, titles, marks, and my new abilities…it’s crazy.”

  “It is…speaking of abilities, how did you gain the socialite abili
ty?”

  She was smiling sweetly—too sweetly.

  “I’m sure your mother will tell you when you’re older.”

  Chapter Thirty-Nine

  AVENGERS ASSEMBLE

  We arrived at Blackwood late in the afternoon. Adoya was too drained from travelling to meet everyone, so I held off the introductions for a day. The regent’s summons was as helpful as it was a hindrance, letting me surround myself with even more experts, while splitting my focus and wasting my time. The reservoir was ahead of schedule, but everything else was lagging behind. That was why it was important to get everyone acquainted as fast as possible before we focused on the next step. Having a group with broader capabilities and more skills didn’t matter if we couldn’t focus those skills where they were needed.

  Everyone sat crammed together around Jeric’s parlour table. Technically, it was Emily’s house and table now, but I wasn’t used to thinking about it that way.

  “Okay, I think introductions are in order as we have a few new faces,” I said, pointing across the table. “This is Quilly, my new retainer and an academy-accredited trapsmith, and this is her teacher, Scholar Adoya, my other new retainer, who specialises in trapsmiths.”

  Adoya looked a little younger with her new attributes, but not much. She was still bald and she tired easily.

  Ranic cleared his throat, hostilely eyeing the other scholar. “Why is she here?”

  Salem hissed his support from where he sat beside him. He’d somehow gained a few inches in height and a couple of extra pounds while I was gone. Last night, he’d tracked me down to inform me that he was entirely ready to deal with my stupid again. However, he was still going to live with Ranic.

  “You told me that the information I gave you could also be given to a scholar who studied trapsmiths, so I went to the academy before we left, acquired her services, and had her swear an oath similar to yours.”

  Ranic scowled. “She’s only level 43. Couldn’t you find someone a little more experienced and not past their prime?”

  Adoya returned Ranic’s scowl. She was the smallest person in the room by far—not that you could tell by the look she was giving Ranic. “My level has nothing to do with my capabilities. I am the foremost expert on trapsmiths and their art in the kingdom.”

  Ranic rolled his eyes childishly. “Your level would suggest otherwise.”

  She snorted. “Oh, please. There are more farmers in this luck-forsaken village than there are trapsmiths in the kingdom. The only reason you are a higher level is that you chose ease of experience over substance and challenge.”

  The blood rushed to Ranic’s face. “Now, listen here, young lady. My specialisation might have it easy when it comes to experience, but we stand on the shoulders of giants. New discoveries are so rare that I am the only one to pass through the third threshold in a decade, unlike some specialisations which have barely scratched the surface.”

  “Barely scratched the surface. How dare you.” Adoya turned her scowl on me. “I will not work with this buffoon.”

  I stared at the two of them, unable to understand their unexpected hostility and unsure how to react.

  Quilly came to the rescue. “Even if that buffoon has come up with a way to trap a giant?”

  Adoya scoffed. “You can’t trap a giant.”

  “Actually, I now believe you can,” Quilly said.

  Adoya’s scowl softened. “You’re serious? I thought Arnold was joking about that. It sounded utterly absurd.”

  “He wasn’t.”

  She turned and stared at me, baffled. “You are actually going to try.”

  I nodded.

  “In that case, I’m listening.”

  I turned to Emily. “Before we go any further, I believe you all need to hear from our new resident lord. Emily, I know that technically your mother is administrating in your place until you are of age, but any serious mistake will fall back on you. So you might lose your title. Are you okay with this plan?”

  Emily pursed her lips and took a slow deep breath and then gave me a small smile. She was far more comfortable with me since our talk. “Is the whole betrothal option off the table? Because that’s a lot easier to agree to. I mean, you’re planning to lure a giant to the village and kill it. But you’re also planning for that to fail, so you’re planning to leave it trapped in what is essentially a big hole. It’s insane.”

  Jeric and his wife each gave me a look which said, this is your plan, you handle her.

  I sighed. “I’ll grant you that it is insane. It would have been better to abandon the village.”

  Emily eyed the others nervously. “From what I understand, you can still abandon the village. I mean there are thousands of members of different guilds in Blackwood working on your various projects which will make that harder, but the option is still there. I’m not saying that I want you to take this course of action. I’m just saying that the path is open.”

  Damn. If I'd been as smart as her at her age, my team would have gone pro.

  “Believe me, I have considered that option. But if we abandon the village, it will be more than a year before the adventurers’ guild comes and kills the giant. And there is no guarantee it won’t destroy the village to consume its magical nexus even if it’s empty. If that happens, I’ll be ruined. The village will be ruined. Also, the Bank of Weldon will be ruined, along with much of the savings of those who invested in that bank. At this point, I only see one way to stop that from happening. We kill the giant, or failing that, trap it. Sadly, we’ve gone too far to abandon the village without consequences.”

  Emily turned to her father. “You were okay with this?”

  I was sure they had had this conversation before, but I think Emily was trying to see if he changed his position now that the conversation wasn’t private. She was doing the same thing to her father as I was doing to her.

  Jeric shrugged. “I was okay with Arnold luring monsters to his property to develop a new trapping method for gaining farmer experience and protecting a village. All this chaos”—he waved his hand around the room in no particular direction—“sort of just happened. I’m not okay with it. But it is necessary. And we are limiting the risks.”

  I nodded. “Exactly, I will be the only one who’s in danger. No one else needs to be in the village when I begin to lure the giant’s minions here to attract its attention.” Every eye in the room turned to me.

  Ranic cleared his throat. “Actually, that’s not entirely true, Arnold. Quilly has pointed out that you will still need help to set up the traps, despite your designs being mostly trigger-based. Even with months to prepare, the 30 barns under construction along the eastern border are too much work for one person to handle alone.”

  I frowned.

  Ranic continued. “I’ve purchased the heritage seed you need for passing through your threshold and found some capable individuals in the village who I believe have what it takes to help you farm the way you do. So at most, five people should be at risk.”

  “Six,” Quilly said. “I need to be on hand in case something goes wrong with the main trap.”

  “Six,” Ranic corrected.

  “Seven,” Salem announced.

  Everyone jumped.

  Salem gave me a smug look. “What? It’s about time I made myself known. Everyone in this room has taken an oath of secrecy or has otherwise proved they can be trusted. And I grow tired of only having the two of you to talk to.”

  Emily stared at Salem the hardest. “Your cat is talking.”

  Salem rolled his eyes. “I am a familiar, Your Lordship. Let me explain from the beginning. If I let Arnold do it, you’ll never get a clear understanding.”

  It took almost an hour for everyone to calm down after Salem’s announcement. The questions continued to pour forth from those seated at the table until everyone’s reserves were empty. Silence now filled the room. I sensed almost everyone was re-evaluating me and my accomplishments, handing them over to Salem.

  I wasn’t upse
t by Salem’s distraction. It gave me a chance to work Ranic’s new information into the plan.

  I cleared my throat. “Now that we are all acquainted and have gotten over our surprise, I think it’s important that we start to discuss what needs to be done going forward. There are six objectives that we need to complete for this plan to be successful. The first two objectives are completing the construction on the reservoir trap and the new barns.”

  Isabelle cleared her throat. “I understand why you need to complete the reservoir, but why do you need that many barns? They can’t harm the giant from what my husband has told me and the number seems excessive.”

  “Redundancy, mainly,” I said. “The first time the giant showed up, it was because it followed its minion out of the forest. We need to control the giant’s arrival, so I will be baiting the forest the way I have in the past. The downside to this method is that it will attract its minions—and we need them to be dead for the reservoir trap to be effective. If one of the minions remains alive and proceeds ahead of the giant, they might fall into the reservoir trap, exposing it and making it useless. So the barns need to be effective and numerous enough to remove that threat. That’s why there are so many.”

  Isabelle nodded. “That makes sense.”

  “Moving on,” I said, checking I had everyone’s attention. “The third objective is for Quilly and Adoya. They need to upgrade my existing plans for the barns. We need them to be as lethal as possible, and I’ve reached the limit of what I’m capable of, so you two will have to take it from here.”

  The two women nodded and then smiled at each other excitedly.

  “The fourth objective is recruiting help. We can’t do this by ourselves. There is too much work, even with outside contractors doing most of the construction. We need to bring some of the villagers in on this. They are going to hesitate, but I’m hoping Jeric, Isabelle, and Emily’s support will convince them.”

  “I can manage that objective,” Jeric said. “I’ve already made a list of names. I also think it won’t be as difficult as you anticipate, so long as you listen to my advice.”