Oh Great! I was Reincarnated as a Farmer

by Benjamin Kerei

  “That’s a good idea,” Ranic said. “Though, the briefings are going to be rather short until we’ve dealt with the giant. That will be when the real work begins. So once again, are you happy with this arrangement, Arnold?”

  “I think so,” I said slowly. “I know I’m happier facing down a troll or a pack of wolves in my barn than growing crops. And you two are by far the best choice for making that happen. I think as long as I’m not out of the loop like before, this arrangement might work for all of us.”

  “It’s comments like that which make me doubt your sanity sometimes,” Ranic said. “No sane individual would rather stare down a troll than pick fruit.”

  “It’s probably for the best,” Jeric said. “No one else would voluntarily bait a giant.”

  “Speaking of baiting a giant, since we’re building a second reservoir, why don’t we build some monster holding pits to go along with it?”

  Chapter Forty-Five

  OTHER REVENUE

  Emily frowned as I placed the polished wooden box on the table and opened the lid. I began removing the pieces Kiln had crafted for me. Without my new and improved memory, I never even would have attempted this project. There had been too many things to remember. Now it was as simple as focusing for a couple of hours.

  I began setting up the board.

  Jeric placed a tray of snacks at the other end of the table and walked over. It was early afternoon on the sixth day. Everyone in the village had put their work aside and was taking a break.

  “So this is how you hope to repay the loan,” Jeric said.

  “Yeah, I had the idea shortly after getting to Blackwood but couldn’t remember exactly how much of everything I needed.”

  Isabelle put her glass of wine down and reached for the pieces of paper I had written the rules on. “Why is there a board with pieces, cards, and dice? Is it three separate games or very complex?”

  I kept placing tiles down. “It’s one game, and it’s not that complex at all.”

  “It doesn’t look simple,” Jeric said.

  I hated explaining the rules of board games to people. I always used to let my friends do it. “I promise you once you understand the rules it is far simpler than chess.”

  “What does Catan mean?” Emily asked.

  Her question surprised me and I began searching my memory. “I have no idea. It’s just the name of the game.”

  The whole family was waiting for me at the door the following sixth day. Anticipation and excitement filled them. I hadn’t realised exactly how big of a deal tabletop games could be in a world without computers. They loved Settlers of Catan, playing game after game. Emily had introduced it to Ava’s daughter and now their family wanted a set too.

  Emily grinned. “What’s this one called?”

  I chuckled. “Munchkins.”

  “Isabelle, love of my life, joy of my heart, most beautiful woman in the kingdom, whose generosity knows no limit,” Jeric said, smiling at his wife while holding her hand.

  Isabelle calmly pulled her hand out of his grasp. “Flattery will get you nowhere, husband. You landed on my hotel and now you must pay.”

  Jeric looked pained. “My love, can’t we compromise and create a deal? I’ll have to sell two of my houses just to pay you. How about you take half now and then wait until I pass Go to receive the rest. I’ll even give you an extra 50 for being so benevolent.”

  Isabelle smiled. “No.”

  Jeric’s face turned red and he grumbled as he removed two of his houses from the board.

  Emily leaned over and whispered in my ear between giggles. “I see why you said this game is known to destroy families.”

  Chapter Forty-Six

  A HELPFUL ADDITION

  After months of waiting, the highly anticipated prompt appeared.

  Would you like to activate your reservoir?

  Yes/No?

  I selected No. The reservoir starting to fill with water was definitely not what I wanted.

  I took my hand off the granite block, and pulled it back from the edge of the reservoir, only to plant it down firmly and leaned out a little further, looking over the side and into the two-hundred and fifty-foot deep pit. I could see exactly where the top third which was constructed from concentrated granite blocks, connected to the bedrock they’d carved into. Being here was like being on the side of a cliff; only a cliff had never been this smooth, so maybe it was more like being at the top of a skyscraper. Either way, it was a long way down. The idea that anything could survive that fall, let alone survive it after falling on steel spikes, just didn’t add up.

  But then the idea of sprinting at a hundred miles an hour didn’t add up either and I now did that every day. So maybe I just didn’t understand the math I was trying to do.

  I couldn’t make out any of the holes that had been drilled into the stone at the bottom of the pit for the spikes to slot in. The spikes were no bigger than spears, so the giant couldn’t use them to damage the walls. That made them less effective as a weapon, but Quilly and Adoya fought against making them bigger, and I’d be a complete idiot to ignore their opinions.

  Ava and her husband were almost done with the spears’ steelwork, and Kiln had long since finished the wooden shafts, so we were only a few days away from the installation.

  I turned my gaze to the eighty-foot-wide tower in the centre of the reservoir. The mason guild had done an excellent job on it. The top of the tower was perfectly level with the ground I was standing on. Having it right in the middle of the quarry had significantly reduced the building cost, but it was still an expense whose sole purpose was to catch a giant. It would even have to be cut out in the future if the next owner wanted to use the reservoir to full capacity.

  So I was looking at a literal money pit.

  I heard the others approaching at a fast jog, and I stepped back from the edge, turning to wave. Manson and Pel returned the gesture. Lenlin gave me a nod. None of them were challenged by their pace. They were now officially farmhands on my farm which allowed them to take advantage of the speed boost I'd purchased. It also meant any trap they installed would finally produce farmer experience when it killed a monster, so all the barns were finally ready.

  Quilly paused her conversation with Adoya to nod at them. Ranic stood with Jeric as far away from Adoya as possible.

  The bickering the two of them had become famous for had settled down in the past few weeks, after all the contract workers left Blackwood, but they still did not enjoy each other’s company, despite the need to study together. It had taken me weeks to discover what the problem was. It was fandom. Scholars, at least the good ones, were fanboys for their chosen field, and like any fanboy, they thought their fandom was the best, and every other paled in comparison. Put two different fanboys in a room and every conversation was going to end in an argument. There must have been some sort of magical effect at the academy to stop this, because there had been thousands of them there and they all seemed to get along respectfully.

  I put those thoughts out of my head and nodded to Quilly that she could begin, trying to focus on the present, and not what the future had in store.

  “Alright,” she roared, bubbling over with enthusiasm. “I know you’ve been enjoying using Ranic’s new house of scholars to learn how to grow apples, but we’re finally back to building traps. And this one is the big boy you’ve all been waiting for. The fucking giant catcher. You all know what the end product will be, so I’m not going to go over that again. The steps are simple enough and the anchors, cables, support netting, and canvas are already prepared. This is just like we practiced. All you have to do is winch it into place, tie it down, and tighten it until it screams for mercy. Redcliff confirmed that it's eighteen days until the next rain, so we need the canvas in place by then. If it isn't, we’re going to have the grass sprout at different times and ruin the camouflage effect we are trying to achieve. Any questions?”

  Lenlin raised his hand.

  Quilly grinned. “
Alright, let’s get started.”

  “But I have a question.”

  “Fine, Lenlin. What’s your question?”

  “Did anyone bring lunch?”

  Quilly lost a little of her enthusiasm. “Does anyone have a serious question that’s not pulled out of their ass?”

  “That is a serious question. It takes time to go over to the middle of the tower using the pulley system and harness, and that means that when its lunch it’s going to take extra time for those people to come back and then return. So bringing lunch over there will save whoever is over there time.”

  “Okay, you’ve actually got a point there. Did anyone bring lunch?” Everyone shook their heads. “Alright, remember that for tomorrow—we’ll just have to take the extra time today. Let’s get to work.”

  Quilly turned and started walking towards the line of parked wagons along the reservoir’s edge. I moved to follow her.

  Adoya tapped me on the shoulder. “Arnold, if I could have a moment of your time.”

  I turned back, trying not to roll my eyes. “I keep telling you that you don’t have to thank me for your house of scholars every time you see me.”

  Adoya should have been thanking Ranic, but she couldn’t bring herself to do it. He’d argued for days to convince me to build it for her. Explaining that if my trapping method worked expanding my method across the kingdom would require more time, research, and training than anywhere in the kingdom could currently supply. The class was extremely rare making Adoya’s new house of scholars the only one of its kind in the kingdom.

  Adoya gave me a smile that crinkled her face further and leaned on her cane more heavily. “For once, this isn’t about that. I think I can finally be of service in a form other than trap design. It’s taken a few months of Ranic’s teaching, but I understand enough of farming art to help you. If you would indulge me, it should only take a few minutes.”

  “Okay,” I said, suddenly interested. “Do you need me to do something?”

  “Yes, I would like you to focus on the reservoir so that your farm's interface highlights it for you.”

  I turned and looked at the reservoir, focusing as she said. After half a minute—it took so long mainly due to my lack of skill—the reservoir began to glow with a soft yellow light. “It’s highlighted.”

  “Good, now while focusing, I need you to think about how dangerous it is. How it is designed to trap and kill a giant. I need you to picture what it will do to that giant and what it will do to you if the canvas doesn’t hold your weight and you fall in.”

  I started picturing what she said. Several minutes went by. “Is something supposed to happen?”

  “Yes. Let me try another method. I’ll describe what you should be thinking and you imagine it.”

  She began describing the pitfall in detail, far more detail than I’d actually been imagining. Her words formed complex images. She added smells, sounds, the feel of the canvas under my feet, and the nauseating sensation of dropping when I fell in.

  The reservoir highlight colour suddenly changed to red. One by one, Jeric, Lenlin, Manson, and Pel jumped as they each looked in the direction of the reservoir. As members of my farm they could all see the same hazards I could.

  “It changed to red,” I said. “Was that what you wanted?”

  She turned and checked the others, who were now all looking at the reservoir, confused. A smile exploded across her face as a huge clear crystal of experience formed in her hand. “That is exactly what I wanted.”

  “So what’s the point of this?”

  “The point is your farm now recognises that the reservoir is a trap. It is highlighting it the same way it would any natural hazard, even in total darkness.”

  “Okay, that’s useful.” Like really, really useful.

  “Yes. Trapsmiths have the ability to see their traps and the hazard they pose naturally. I assumed farmers would have to rely on their memories—until Ranic began teaching me about the farming interface. Even then, it took me weeks to figure out how this effect could be triggered as it has never been done before. That man was adamant that farmers could not make their farm recognise a hazard citing countless notes and passages. In all fairness, he is correct, as a trap isn’t a traditional hazard.”

  Excitement filled me. “I can do this to the traps in my barn and the pitfalls in the fields outside, can’t I?”

  She smiled. “Yes. I know it’s not going to make your job much easier, but it should make it a lot safer.”

  I returned her smile. This was a big deal. “Thank you. You’ve probably just saved someone’s life. Possibly mine.”

  She patted my arm in a very grandmotherly way. “I’m glad I could help. I’m also glad you’re in such a good mood because my next request will be asking for a lot.”

  I sighed. Of course she wasn’t just here to give me the information even though I was employing her. There had to be a catch. “What do you need?”

  She dropped her gaze and began massaging her right hand. “Ranic came to me with a proposal that I’m sorry to say makes me uncomfortable.”

  “Uh-huh…what sort of proposal?”

  “He’s offered to loan me the experience I need to reach my fourth threshold. Apparently, he’s been storing everything past what he needed to reach his fourth threshold for the past five decades.”

  Damn, that was a lot of experience.

  “And that makes you uncomfortable?”

  “Yes, how could I possibly face him and treat him as an equal if he has this over me? I can’t…I couldn’t…and I need to work with the man. Despite his many faults, he has an exceptional mind. I believe the two of us can make significant discoveries like the one today if we continue to work together.”

  “But you can’t do that if he has this loan over you?”

  “No. This will sound ridiculous, but I’ve always been a pushover when it comes to owing people. I find myself agreeing to all sorts of unreasonable proposals. And like with you, with my new trapsmith house of scholars, I thank them every time I see them. I’ll never be able to work effectively with him.”

  “Okay, but I don’t see why you brought this to me.”

  “I brought it to you because I’d like you to buy the experience from him and loan it to me.”

  “That just sounds like you loaning it from him with more steps.”

  “Weren’t you listening? I would owe you, not him. That’s the point. I’m already in your debt, adding more won’t change my behaviour to you.”

  The whole situation seemed unnecessarily convoluted, but I didn’t want to turn her down. Having Adoya at level 99 would increase the village-wide trapsmith experience bonus from her house of scholars from 4.3% to 9.9%, not to mention level her house of scholars to level two, doubling those benefits. It would also potentially increase her lifespan by decades.

  “I’m going to be blunt,” I said. “Will you put your unassigned attributes in strength or something else? I know I can’t legally force you to do so, but I’m not going to give you such a big loan only to have you die in a couple of years because your heart gives out. The kind of loan you’re talking about is going to have me owing Ranic almost as much as I do for this reservoir.”

  I was serious. If she wasn’t going to put it in strength I wouldn’t even talk to Ranic. Worker protection laws prevented an employer from taking employees’ experience or directing their selection of attributes, outside of specific situations. The only legal power over experience I had with my employees was use enforcement. I could make it so they had to consume all the experience they gained on my farm themselves. It was the reason most classes had a market for experience. Every employer wanted their workers to level as quickly as possible.

  “That was blunt but understandable given the circumstances. I do intend to put every unassigned point into strength and I am willing to take another oath to that if that is what you require.”

  I sighed. “Fine, let me see if he’ll agree to sell it to me.”

&nb
sp; I turned. Ranic was helping the others unload the cart, using his monstrous strength to do the heavy lifting. I didn’t bother walking over to him. I was that annoyed by the situation. “Hey, Ranic! Adoya is uncomfortable accepting the experience loan from you! Can I buy the experience off you to loan it to her instead?”

  Adoya grabbed my arm and squeezed. “What are you doing?”

  “Buying experience.”

  “Couldn’t you have done so privately?”

  “Yes, but this is faster.” I waved at Ranic. “What do you say?”

  Ranic frowned. “Couldn’t you have done this privately?”

  “Yes, but this is faster!”

  “Fine, we’ll have dinner tonight and talk over the purchase.”

  I turned to Adoya. “He’s okay with the idea. Do you need me to deal with anything else?”

  She scowled at me. “No.”

  The trap for the giant was finished. Thick green grass surrounded me in all directions. The canvas was held up by an intricate web of bridge cabling and enough rope nets to service an entire fishing industry. If the area didn’t have the red highlight, I wouldn’t have been able to tell the trap was there until I stepped on it and felt the trampoline-like give of the canvas and cables which made it immediately noticeable.

  I pulled my hands away from the warding pole I’d finished inserting into the slot and looked over at Adoya. 56 levels worth of attributes had done wonders for her youth and her height. The wrinkles were gone, so was the cane. She no longer appeared tired or frail. She even claimed her mind was sharper than it had ever been in her youth.

  I made my way over to her, noticing she was now taller than Quilly.

  She looked out at the grass-covered reservoir, smiling. Her heavy backpack rested on the ground beside her. “When you came to speak with me at the academy, I knew that following a bearer of the crown’s mark would lead me to something interesting, something that could change the kingdom, but this is far more amazing than I anticipated. You are truly going to do it. You are going to kill or capture a giant.”