A Man Who Knows What He Wants Box Set 5

by Flora Ferrari

  I see the intensity of her eyes as she hangs on to my every word. I’m glad she’s taking this as seriously as a listener as I am as the one saying these words. They are words I practiced in the mirror before she came, but somehow got lost between then and now. Why? Because although some of the words and sentences are familiar, and I am good at memorizing things, this kind of conversation has to come from the heart. And it has to be a two-way conversation. I need her input and now’s the time to get it.

  “I realize the strength of your words and I want you to know you can trust me,” she says. “This is your home and you’ve invited me inside and I respect the sanctity of whatever is said in these walls. I give you my word it will stay within these walls.”

  She just gets it. She understands me and completely grips the challenges I face. I don’t even have to allude to what I go through, let alone tell her straight out. She already knows and that makes this all less stressful and reinforces my decision as a good one, not that I ever questioned it would be.

  “My brother and his wife recently passed away when their helicopter crashed during a skiing vacation. It was a trip I was supposed to join them on, but I got a last second call at the office from a very important client and had to cancel. I was supposed to be on that helicopter with them, but I wasn’t. Somebody was looking out for me that day. And now through this tragic twist of fate I’ve decided to pay it back and look out for someone of my own. Not that pay it back is the right choice of words. I see what happened next as my duty, my responsibility, but most importantly something I want to do. And I do. One hundred percent. But after trying and trying I’m realizing now I won’t be able to do this by myself, and that’s hard for someone like me to admit. Someone who likes to take on any challenge, no matter how big or small in life admitting that they bit off more than they can chew. And that’s what I’m doing here now before you. And the reason I’m telling you is because I know you’re the only one who can help me make this right…make this work.”

  She nods. It’s not exactly a nod in agreement but just to let me know she’s listening and it’s okay for me to continue. I’m not usually one to speak so openly and so much, but I’m finding these words somewhat cathartic and realize I’ve been keeping this inside too long. But now it’s time to cut to the chase.

  “So without further ado, can I show you what I’m talking about and I think it will put everything into perspective and make a lot more sense?”

  “Of course,” she says. “Please.”

  Chapter Six

  Mina

  There’s a fine line between a weak man and one who shares his true feelings. Jacob is anything but weak, but wow…did he ever just open up to me.

  Or at least he started to.

  And now he’s about to finish that thought and I’m both excited and nervous at what I’m going to discover.

  He extends his hand toward the door and I place my coffee on the saucer.

  He escorts me through the main entryway. I’m not even sure what all these rooms are called in a house as large and elegant as this, and into another room.

  I see it and I freeze.

  Suddenly everything he was alluding to makes complete sense.

  There’s a crib in the corner and I don’t have to guess what’s inside.

  I start to say a whole bunch of words but finish none of them. I basically just mouth a bunch of syllables. Finally I get ahold of myself. “May I?” I say softly.

  He nods and together we walk towards the crib.

  When I reach the side I place my hands behind my back making sure not to disturb the crib incase the baby is sleeping and lean in over the edge.

  Oh. My. God.

  She’s so tiny and so peaceful looking. I can see her little chest rising and falling as she sleeps there with the tiny bonnet on her head and the pink blankets covering her and the white sheets below her.

  “I had someone watching her, but she just stepped out. I’d asked her earlier to do so when she heard us leave the study. I don’t want you to think I left the baby alone in here by herself.”

  “No. Of course I know you’d never do that,” I say quietly. But to be honest for the first time since we’ve met I’m not paying too close of attention to his words. I am processing them, yes, but I’m just so focused on this little adorable thing in front of me. I just want to pick her up and hold her and…oh my gosh do so many things with her.

  I do like babies of course, but I’ve never had a reaction to one like this before. And I have no idea why.

  I’m not at the age where my body is demanding one. I haven’t been thinking about them. I’m not emotional or having any mood swings lately, except for the desires I had about Jacob last night which definitely cost me a few hours of sleep but that’s another story entirely.

  I’m not really sure how much time goes by as I’m just in complete awe, staring down at her.

  “What’s her name?”

  “Mia,” he says.

  “Almost the same as mine,” I say as I turn to look at him with a smile so wide across my face you’d think it was going to crack from the pressure.

  “Just one letter smaller,” he says. “Coincidence or fate?”

  It’s then I realize how intently he’s looking at me. He’s been watching me this whole time. I can recognize it now.

  He was watching me to see how I’d react to his baby and how his baby would react to me.

  He’s doing what he’s supposed to do. He’s being a good father. He really cares about Mia’s well being. He cares a whole lot actually. It’s such a beautiful thing and also a beautiful thing which he did.

  Could this man be any more perfect?

  “And I want you to be her babysitter,” he says.

  Chapter Seven

  Jacob

  I told her I wanted her to be my baby’s babysitter.

  Maybe nanny was a better word.

  But there’s a word that’s so much better and really encapsulates what I want to say…

  Wife.

  A babysitter is someone who’s only in your home, and possibly your life, for short amounts of time and likely a few years.

  A nanny is someone who’s in your home for much longer stretches of time, but again…only in your life for a fixed amount of years most likely.

  Wife?

  She’s by your side forever. And she’s definitely involved with raising and watching after your kids, but also so much more.

  Making a family with you. With me. My wife. My lover. The mother to all our children. The matriarch. My partner in life and business. The one who teaches our little girls to grow up to be women and the one that teaches our little boys how to use their feelings to bond with and help girls their own age and to one day understand and love a woman of their own.

  And then one day we’ll be grandparents.

  But first things first. I’ve got to make her mine. There are no ifs, ands or buts about this.

  There’s no taking no or maybe for an answer.

  She will be mine no matter what it takes.

  But not by force, definitely not that. I’m going to show her there’s no-one on earth who will love her as much as I do already.

  No one who respects and cares for her as much as I do.

  And no one on earth who will go to the corners of the earth to make sure she’s there by my side.

  And that’s exactly where I want to go with her…everywhere on the globe.

  And not just her. With our family.

  God, this is too perfect.

  I’ve never felt so happy in my life. The world has never made so much sense to me as it does now.

  I wake up happy every morning, ready to do deals, make money, and provide jobs for families in the city.

  And I enjoy every second of those things and the rush of endorphins they bring.

  But nothing could compare, or prepare me, for the rush she gives me.

  Just looking at her. And how I can’t wait for the day until I get to look at
her as she lies next to me on a fluffy, white pillow just like the angel she is…riding on her cloud.

  I couldn’t even sleep last night after she agreed.

  Even Janice knew something was different this morning and I didn’t even speak with her. She said my email sounded, “even more upbeat than normal.” She even asked, “if I was okay,” and “if she could please have some of whatever it was I was having.”

  Absolutely not.

  I wish Janice the best in her quest for love but Mina’s mine. Mine and only mine.

  Even her name is beautiful. Mina. It’s a diminutive name that sounds diminutive. It’s like her. Small, but fierce and straight to the point. It counterbalances me perfectly. A big guy who’s also fierce and straight to the point, but together we can even each other out. Provide a yen to the other’s yang.

  I stand in front of the house counting down the minutes until eight o’clock. I’m just waiting on the car to deliver her for her first day.

  “Hey Rusty!” I say as my rust colored retriever comes running up to me and puts his paws on my chest.

  “You’re getting big, boy. Aren’t you?”

  Normally I’d be upset that Rusty muddied my shirt. Not today. Today I’m in a T-shirt. I’m working from home today. I need to be here to walk Mina through everything.

  And if this had been yesterday I would have done some ninja move to avoid Rusty. What a jerk am I? To avoid the affection of man’s best friend just to keep my suit spotless. Not today. I give Rusty a big ol’ hug and he barks loudly in return.

  Rusty is a great hugger, that’s for sure, but there’s another hug…and if I’m being honest with myself a whole lot more…that I want from somebody else.

  Somebody very special.

  And somebody who just pulled up to the front gate!

  Like a kid hosting his first slumber party I want to run to the gate and greet her, but I have to keep my cool.

  The blood is flowing through my veins so fast and so strong right now I don’t want to do anything that scares her off before she even gets started. And that includes the massive erection I have to hide thanks to that blood flow that’s all rushing to my groin.

  This is too perfect and I just want to jump ahead to the wedding part.

  I’m a man who knows what he wants and I want her.

  And I will get her. Oh will I ever.

  But I have to give her time and space and be patient for her attraction to match mine.

  I laugh out loud at the word. Attraction. What in the heck is that?

  I’m not attracted to her. That word comes nowhere near close enough to describing what I feel for her. I’m obsessed with her.

  And it feels fan-freaking-tastic!

  Chapter Eight

  Mina

  Before I know it it’s two o’clock.

  The day is flying by I’m having so much fun.

  If my first day is any indication of what’s in store this is going to be the absolute perfect situation for me.

  I spent most of last night watching YouTube parenting videos and reading baby blogs online to learn as much as I can about little tips and tricks when it comes to taking care of a baby.

  So far so good. She still sleeps a lot so I’m mostly just holding her, talking to her, and there was one diaper change which was easier than I thought it would be.

  I try and temper my enthusiasm though as I know every day won’t go this smoothly.

  Not only that but Jacob told me that for the first week I’ll babysit almost exclusively and then once I get the hang of the ins and outs of that I’ll split my day between babysitting and working my new role for Stone Solutions. Being that so much work is done online now and face-to-face communication is less important for people who aren’t in sales or are executives I’m going to be able to work from Jacob’s home. He’s even set up a room for me with a computer and everything I’ll need.

  So I’m going to be working in the corporate world, which I’m extremely excited about, and getting priceless experience in childcare, which I totally didn’t expect but am almost even more excited about suddenly.

  One day that childcare will come in handy. The question is will that be one day soon?

  I can’t help but notice the interactions between Jacob and I and how well we work as a team, whether he’s showing me how to do some Stone Solutions thing or when he shows me something Mia likes and how to handle her in certain situations. He’s picked up on a lot of her idiosyncrasies and that’s going to help me out a lot. Like for some reason she prefers to be held on the right shoulder much more than the left.

  And speaking of right, Jacob is looking more and more like Mr. Right by the minute.

  “Ready for some lunch?” he asks.

  “Starving,” I say.

  “Great. I’ll whip something up.”

  “You cook too?”

  “I’m not Michelin rated or anything like that, but I can whip up something a little more complex than a man meal.”

  “Man meals being?”

  “Canned tuna. Beans and wieners. Ground beef with onions.”

  “Wait a second. Does canned tuna actually count as cooking?”

  “It does if you mix something in with it.”

  “Oh, is that how it works?”

  “That’s definitely how it works. And speaking of work I think we worked really well together this morning.”

  “Amazingly well,” I say. I don’t know what’s gotten into me but I offer him a high five which he accepts. But we don’t high five. We slap hands, but our hands stay in place just a little too long.

  My eyes stay locked on his and his on mine. There’s a moment there that neither of us can deny. Suddenly I feel his fingers start to close around mine and mine follow suit.

  Our high five turns into something of a hand holding session that lasts all of a split second…or three. Then suddenly we release hands at the same time.

  My mind goes into thinking mode instantly. Did he release before me or did I release before him? Or did we really release at the same time like I think?

  From the look in his eyes says he might be trying to figure out the same thing.

  “What do you like?” he asks.

  “That,” I blurt out thinking about our hands coming together and how I now miss the feeling of his touch. For a man who works in an office he sure has strong fingers and big hands. I even felt a callous or two. Then again he does work out a lot and from the looks of things he must lift heavy weights. I bet those big barbells take a toll on your fingers, especially if you’ve been lifting all your life which I guess he has to have built a body so perfect.

  I body which really shines underneath that T-shirt. I always knew he was extremely well conditioned underneath that suit, but today it’s on display. All I have to do is imagine that thin layer of white cotton away and I can visualize the width and thickness of his chest. I can imagine running my hands along the grooves in each of his abdominal muscles, and there are many.

  When you’re raising a child you have to kind of do things on the fly. He needed to quickly wipe one of his hands earlier and his first reaction was to lift up his shirt. I stored that visual in my memory bank for safekeeping.

  And it’s suddenly out of safekeeping and at the forefront of my mind.

  “That as in canned tuna mixed with something?” he asks.

  “Um, yeah. That can be good,” I say quickly catching myself. Oh my gosh I almost exposed my desire right there, but was able to make a quick recovery…sort of.

  “Well, I think I can do better than that for you, especially for your first day.”

  “How about we can do better than that,” I say.

  “You know your way around a kitchen?”

  “I know a thing or two.”

  “Well then let’s see what you’ve got.”

  “Let’s see what we’ve got,” I say throwing in a wink at the end for good measure.

  Chapter Nine

  Jacob

  “W
e should probably salt it a bit before we stick it in the oven,” she says.

  “Yeah, you’re right,” I say as I turn back and reach for the salt shaker.

  But her hand beats mine by just a fraction of a second and my hand comes down on top of hers.

  I stop, my body twisted back with my eyes straight on hers.

  She stops, with her entire body and eyes facing me directly from behind.

  It’s a standoff. Neither of us moves and it’s partly because the air is so thick with tension I’m not sure we could if we wanted to.

  But I’m not letting this opportunity slide by like the first.

  Without looking I set the thick glass dish down on top of the stove and put my knee into the door, closing it.

  Then I rotate from my hips like they’re a loaded spring as the lower half of my body pulls itself around to face hers.

  Now we’re face to face with my hand still on top of hers.

  My moves are like some sort of animals mating dance. The male of the species doing everything he can to catch and keep the female’s attention.

  And I’ve got it right now and she most certainly has mine. All of mine.

  I look down at her realizing just how much smaller she is than me and it only makes my protective instinct that much stronger. The instinct has been working overtime ever since I adopted Mia, but with Mina it’s something else entirely.

  But at the moment I don’t see them as two separate instincts. I see them as one.

  The need to protect my family.

  Mia is my official family and Mina will soon be, whether she knows it or not. And if the look on her face is any indication she does.

  Or at least it’s clear that she knows there’s something here and that she feels it too.

  And feel is exactly what I need right now, as in to feel more of her skin against mine.

  I bring up my other hand and gently place it on her cheek. Her skin is so soft, smooth and feminine. Her skin just begs for my hand to touch it. It’s like those round cheekbones were made to sit in the palm of my hand. I don’t know much about makeup and all those things but I can also tell from her skin that she doesn’t use products on her face, nor does she need to.