State of (Book 1): State of Decay

by Martinez, P. S.

My head buzzed and my eyelids fluttered shut as he spoke. I put a hand on the wall behind me to ground myself.

  “Jessica blames the military for the death of her entire family. If they had been let through, if they had allowed them in, they would probably still be alive today. Instead, she had to not only watch her family die at the hands of the undead, but she also had to take down her own little brother and survive out in the infested and overrun city for months by herself.”

  I gasped.

  Now I could see it. Jessica had so much hurt, so much loss, and so much blame. Now it all had come to a head. A head of pure, undiluted rage. She was a ticking time bomb.

  She was dangerous.

  “How do you know all that about Jessica?” I asked wearily.

  “About two months ago, we heard through some of our scouts that there was a group out in the city that was planning a takeover, planning to try and take the makeshift base here. We didn’t really believe it was possible, of course. We’re well fortified, and you’ve seen what it’s like outside of the fences. Even if a group made it past the horde of zombies, we’d have seen them coming a mile away.”

  I nodded. That’s what I didn’t understand. How had it been possible for any sized group to take over their base?

  “How did you end up here instead of the army base?” I asked. “Why move to the basement of the toy factory?”

  “Ironically enough, the base fell. It fell quickly from infected within their walls not yet turned. The base fell in the middle of the night when people died and turned and began feeding on survivors. It was mass pandemonium.” Tex ran a hand through his shoulder length hair. “We lucked out that one of our people--a real estate agent--knew about this toy factory that had sat abandoned and for sale for nearly a year. What survivors were left followed Major Parsons here.”

  “And how did you end up in Jess and Dax’s good graces?” I asked crossing my arms.

  “My commanding officer sent me to see what I could find out.”

  I gasped.

  They sent him out into the city? I could feel Tex’s smile more than see it.

  “Don’t worry, sweetheart, I’m good at scouting, even in the middle of hordes of zombies. Anyway, I found my way into Jessica’s little ragtag group. At that time, they only had about twenty-five people and I was quick to dismiss Dax and his followers as not having a chance in hell at taking the base.

  I was about to make my way back when I spotted Jessica coming back from a supply run. She looked so different, but I immediately recognized her. I spoke to her often over the next few days and when I thought I could trust her, I asked her to come back to the base with me.”

  He shook his head and ran a hand through his hair, sighing deeply. “I guess I just thought maybe if I could save her, then I could let go of some of the guilt for failing everyone else. You know? Just a little.

  But instead of helping an innocent young woman, I ended up bringing the leader of the group right into the middle of the base. I didn’t suspect her, no one did. Not until it was too late, and she had snuck her entire group into the base and took it over in the middle of the night.”

  “Why are you telling me all this?”

  “I wasn’t born yesterday, Melody. I know you and Jude ain’t here because you heard some dying soldier mumble vaguely about the base needing help.”

  When I opened my mouth to protest, Tex cut me off.

  “And if I know something sounds hinky with your story, then you bet your sweet little ass that Jessica Germain suspects something ain’t quite right.”

  My mouth snapped shut and I took a step back, weighing my options.

  I really didn’t have any options. I was going to have to trust Tex.

  “Shit,” I muttered beneath my breath.

  “Shit creek. No paddle,” Tex agreed.

  “If you’re really so trustworthy, tell me how many people she has here against their will and where she’s keeping them.” I took a deep breath and waited, hoping I hadn’t grossly misread Tex.

  “By my count, she has around twenty soldiers and a dozen or so civilians held prisoner,” Tex answered after a moment.

  I breathed out my nervousness.

  “However, freeing them from the place she has them is impossible. She has them guarded by several armed men twenty-four hours a day,” he said. “Don’t you think I’ve tried to get into the holding cells? That I would do everything in my power to set them free if I could?” He ran a hand through his hair roughly.

  “She doesn’t truly trust anyone. I’ve spent the past several months trying to convince her that I’m on her team, that she can trust me. She will never trust me though. I’m military after all.”

  “You couldn’t have known what she was planning, Tex,” I said gently. “You aren’t the only one who was fooled by her. Any other soldier would have done exactly what you did. She is at fault, not you.”

  He was silent for a moment. “Thank you, Melody. I wish I could believe that.”

  “So, what am I going to do to get these people free?” I whispered.

  Tex chuckled. “You don’t give up, do you?” he asked wryly.

  “Not if I can help it,” I answered with a grin. I’d forgotten all about our main reason for coming. I opened my mouth to ask him about Major Parsons and the other guys but thought better of it. If he was working for Jessica, I’d be playing right into his hand.

  “I’ve heard that Jim and Germain have something special in store for you and Jude tomorrow at the assembly.” A shiver ran down my spine. Tex rubbed the back of his neck.

  “That’s not much time,” I murmured, my mind spinning.

  “Let me think,” Tex said after a moment. He nodded to himself. “I’ll think of something and then let you know.”

  I looked into his face, still a little unsure I could trust him a hundred percent, but I didn’t have a whole lot of choice.

  “Okay.” I agreed. I added, don’t make me fucking kill you if you betray me in my head.

  “Tex, I—” He held up a hand.

  “I understand.” he said and then with a grin added, “You’re welcome.”

  My mouth snapped shut and I was about to tell him where he could shove his “your welcome” when he opened the door, squeezed through, winked back at me and left me alone in the darkness.

  I waited several minutes after he left, trying to calm my heartbeat and my nerves before exiting the small supply closet. It wasn’t until I was back out in the hallway that I remembered that I was lost.

  “Damn,” I muttered as I took off down a halfway familiar looking hallway.

  Plan? What Plan?

  Several strings of curse words later, I found myself back in the common area of the base, the place quite abandoned compared to the day before. A few people loitered here and there, but mostly it was empty.

  I was standing in the doorway, trying to decide where I should go and what I should do when Jude came striding down the opposite corridor with a murderous look on his face. Two of the six people in the common area saw him coming and scooted out of his way, sensing his mood well before he even got close to them. I didn’t blame them; he looked capable of mass murder in that moment.

  When he finally noticed me standing across the room, his body visibly unwound just enough to allow the entire room to take a much-needed breath of relief.

  “What’s up?” I asked.

  “I’m feeling really twitchy. The guards here won’t give me any of my weapons. Not even a knife.”

  His eyes met mine and I could see that his pupils were slightly dilated. I nodded in understanding.

  I kept finding myself reaching for the hilt of my knife and it was a horrible feeling to be without any means of self-defense after living and fighting for your life every day for over six months. Yeah, I knew exactly how he felt.

  “I don’t care how secure this base is, I want to be able to defend myself if necessary,” he said.

  I reached out and put a hand on his arm. His eyes fou
nd mine again and his shoulders relaxed another fraction. His hand came up and covered mine. He caressed the underside of my wrist with his thumb, watching me beneath hooded eyes.

  Whoa.

  My heart tripped out an erratic beat. I wet my lips with the tip of my tongue, suddenly nervous. Jude’s golden-brown eyes widened, and his nostrils flared.

  Holy Hell.

  I cleared my throat. “We should talk.” My voice was squeaky and unsure.

  He nodded and led me off to another hallway. “Let’s go grab a bagged lunch and talk back in the room,” he suggested.

  We got the lunches and left the mess hall as quickly as we entered it, both of us deep in our own thoughts. I was also in awe of how easily Jude had already memorized the layout of the base. It was completely unfair.

  I sat on the bed while Jude sat on the floor with his back against a wall in our room and polished off our light meals.

  “So, what have you found out?” He asked around a mouthful of peanuts.

  “You want the bad news or the worse news first?” I asked, taking a swig of water.

  “Give me the bad,” he answered with a frown.

  “Well, it looks like however many soldiers are left, they are kept literally under lock and key twenty-four hours a day. Add to that several guards and it would be next to impossible to free them,” I sighed in exasperation.

  His eyes met mine, surprised.

  “There are maybe twenty soldiers left now.” I added.

  Jude grimaced. Only twenty left.

  What were the odds his uncle, Manuel, and Big Ben were among them?

  “Even if we were able to free them, we don’t know what kind of shape they’re in or how in the world we would be able to get them through the zombie hordes outside. If we made it that far,” Jude said after a moment.

  I grimaced. It sounded even worse once I thought it through for the fifth time.

  “If that’s the bad news, what’s worse?” He asked.

  “Dax and Jessica have something in store for us this tomorrow, something we should probably worry about since it takes place during this assembly of theirs.”

  Jude cursed under his breath.

  “I also heard that they are probably onto us and don’t plan on letting us get out of here in one piece. In addition to that, Jessica Germain is more monster than human now, and she was the one who slipped into the base with only the intent to let her group in while everyone was asleep, that she hates anyone and everything military, and that she gets off on banishing people weaponless into the zombie infested city streets when they cross her.” I took a deep breath and let my head fall back on the wall behind me.

  What was the point of surviving if you lose your humanity in the process? What did everything matter if we only let ourselves turn into a different breed of monster?

  “What do you plan on doing, then?” Jude asked gently. “About Germain, I mean? I know you two were close not so very long ago.”

  God, could it have been only a little less than a year ago that we were both in high school and giggling over hot guys and the shallowness of half the senior class girls? It felt like a lifetime ago. It felt like someone else’s life. I didn’t know this version of Jessica. She was a stranger to me in this new world surrounded by the dead and dying.

  “I’ll do what I have to do,” I said after a moment. I sat up straighter and caught Jude’s eye.

  Jude’s eyes searched mine and his mouth set into a grim line.

  “I hope it doesn’t come to that, Mel.”

  “I hope it doesn’t either.”

  A knock sounded on the door. Two quick raps.

  “Germain wants to see Melody Carter.” The disembodied voice croaked.

  I raised a brow and Jude stood quickly from his spot on the floor. I stood more slowly.

  I looked into Jude’s searching gaze.

  “Coming.” I said, my eyes never leaving his.

  His full lips settled into a straight line. His hand came up and cupped my head roughly. He brought his forehead to rest on mine. I closed my eyes.

  “Be careful, Melody Carter,” he whispered gruffly before angling my head back to capture my lips with his.

  He kissed me roughly and thoroughly. My toes curled as I sampled the taste that was exclusively Jude Harrison. He pulled away abruptly and stared into my eyes, his glazed over with desire.

  “You better go,” he said gruffly. I nodded and pulled away ignoring my jelly-like legs.

  I swung opened the door and tossed a “later” over my shoulder before I left.

  “I’ll take that as a promise.” I heard Jude say as I was walking away.

  *****

  On the way to see Jess, I bumped into Tex. Literally.

  He rammed his arm into me as we walked by. I stumbled and as he grabbed me, he muttered an apology and stepped away. But not before shoving a small note into my palm.

  I tightened my fist around the paper and shoved it into my pocket when I got the chance.

  Jessica Germain was speaking softly with Dax when I entered the room we had met in the day before. With her tilted slightly back and a small smile playing on her naturally pink lips, I could immediately see a glimmer of my best friend.

  Same sharp jawline, same tiny beauty mark just under her left eye.

  How many times had we laughed and joked together before over the years?

  “Mel!”

  I flinched. She’d used my nickname just like she always did. Her voice rang high and girly and I wanted so very much for her to launch into a spiel about how great I would look if I’d only add some pops of color to my wardrobe or “play up my hazel eyes” with a bit more makeup.

  Instead, I met her glacial stare as Dax exited the room leaving Jess alone with me.

  “You asked for me,” I stated coolly.

  She straightened up and walked slowly over to me. “I did,” she said.

  Up close, the difference in Jess was even more pronounced. Gone were her girly curves and softness replaced by muscle and sharp lines honed over months of hard work and day-to-day survival. Gone was her long, meticulously cared for blond tresses in favor of a spikey, uneven pixie cut and several ear piercings that dotted both lobes.

  “You look different, too,” she said, reading my thoughts. She walked around me slowly, sizing me up. “Darker, rougher skin from being out in the elements. Thinner, more muscle, less fat.”

  I bristled. She stepped back in front of me.

  “Same untamed, dark hair but the eyes have changed. I think all of ours have after what we’ve been through.” The last had been added softly as an afterthought. She shook her head. “Still beautiful though,” she said with a tiny smile.

  “So are you,” I said just as softly afraid to break the fragile bubble we were both skirting around.

  Jessica clapped once, startling the shit out of me. She hopped up to sit on the table behind her, her legs swinging off the side.

  “And don’t think I didn’t notice that hot piece of ass you went and got yourself.” She fanned herself.

  I snorted.

  “That hot piece of ass has a name. Jude. And he’s not mine.” I felt myself grinning.

  “But he will be.” We both said in unison.

  Both of our grins froze in place.

  “What’s going on here, Jess?” I asked softly after the moment had passed.

  Jess cocked her head to the side as if to inspect me even more closely this time.

  “I’m building something that should have been built in the first place,” She answered matter-of-factly, her eyes brightening with excitement. “Something that will last and thrive into this new world. A society that won’t be fucked up with the red tape of government and its military.”

  I blinked. I could hear the absolute conviction she had in her own words.

  Fuck.

  I stood there for a moment thinking. Nothing was set in stone. I could convince her.

  I walked over and sat on the table next to her.


  “God, I’d give anything for a root beer.” I said.

  Jess snickered. “I’d give my right arm for a NY style pizza.” She sighed.

  I smiled.

  “Chicago style is better. Keep your arm,” I said. I bumped my arm into Jess.

  She rolled her eyes.

  “Even during a zombie apocalypse, you refuse to admit NY pizza is better,” she said incredulously.

  I shrugged.

  “I want you to join me, Mel,” Jess said after a pause.

  I sucked in air through my teeth.

  “I’m not sure I can do that,” I answered honestly. The truth was I wanted to grab Jess and shake her so fucking hard all her thoughts as Germain would fly from her head so I could grab her and hug her and tell her all the ways I’d missed and loved her.

  Instead, I got up from the table and stood in front of her.

  “We could run this place together,” Jess said animatedly, standing to join me.

  The ache in my heart expanded.

  “We could take what I’ve started here and turn it into everything I’ve dreamed,” she added in.

  She grabbed my hand and it took everything in me not to agree with whatever she wanted just so I could pull her into my arms and ignore everything else.

  “You know I can’t, Jess,” I answered in a strangled voice.

  She searched my eyes, her own growing colder. She dropped my hand and stiffened her petite shoulders. A cruel grin spread across her face.

  “You are your daddy’s daughter after all.”

  I flinched. She might as well have struck me.

  “Don’t, Jess,” I warned.

  Her eyes glinted dangerously. She played with a small, red stone in her left ear. “Always the perfect little soldier in training,” She said in a way that made it sound like the warning hiss of a rattlesnake.

  I straightened and balled my hand into a fist.

  “I won’t take no for an answer,” she said.

  She’d never planned to give me a choice. I saw that in her eyes. No. She wanted me to agree so it’d be easier, but she didn’t care if I agreed or not. Jessica Germain didn’t ask. She took and commanded and expected her command to be followed despite anyone else’s feelings on the matter.