by Tamsin Baker
I swallowed hard as I prepared to make my apologies.
“I don’t know how to thank you enough, or apologize fully for the danger I placed you in, Jasmine,” I said. My voice was scratchy and I swallowed, hoping to alleviate myself of the annoyance. It did not work, however. “I should have brought you to the Hotel earlier. But I honestly had no idea the Demons could get to you inside your home.”
The truth of the matter was I had completely forgotten about the Hotel in the first place. But I would not tell her that because I was a coward, at least, in this respect.
I ran a shaky hand through my hair and Jasmine gave me a soft smile of understanding. I’d never used Tabitha’s hotel before to save a Target. Never. I fought hard and long against the Demons, and they never returned once I’d vanquished them.
But something had changed.
Dramatically changed.
What was worse was that I was putting people in danger, people who otherwise would have no quarrel with these Demons. People who could be living a life of safety.
“It’s all right, Gabriel,” she said. “As I said before. I owe you my life. Nothing is too much for you to ask of me.”
Jasmine stepped closer and put her arms around me, squeezing tight while I kissed the top of her head.
So much affection.
Such a strange year I was having after so long without human touch.
I tried to step away, but she held me tight.
Part of me wished she would lash out. Part of me wished she would tell me to go to Hell or blame me for how topsy-turvy her life had become. I wanted her to lash out, to hit, to slap me across my face. It was what I deserved.
But she didn’t do any of that.
Instead, she held onto me tightly and I could feel her love coursing through her and to me. She was trying to reassure me. In essence, she was doing my job. I was the one who was supposed to reassure her. I was supposed to make her feel safe and cared for. I was supposed to be doing the protecting.
Instead, she was doing that for me. She wasn’t broken. I was.
I kissed the top of her head again, trying to regain my capabilities once again. I could not be weak any longer. I needed to make myself strong.
“I need to go,” I said, straightening. She tilted her head up to look at me. “You know what to do. There are Angels and well-trained humans everywhere in this Hotel. If you see even a glimmer of fire, you scream your head off. Got it?”
Jasmine finally pulled away and wiped away a tear that had slid down her cheek.
“You know I’m kinda jealous,” she said. Her voice had gotten softer, as though she was not quite sure she wanted to admit this, even to me. “Of Kadie and you.”
A ripple of unease ran through my chest. “What do you mean?” I asked.
My hand reached through the carrier strapped to my chest to feel the rise and fall of my son’s stomach. I could not explain it, but it was important to me to ensure he was still breathing.
She wiped at the air with her hand as though to dismiss what she’d said. Her face was red, with shame or embarrassment, I did not know. Her eyes would not meet mine. Instead, she focused them on her daughter. They softened when they saw her.
“Oh, I know I’m happy now, and I have my baby girl,” she said. “She’s honestly the best thing that ever happened to me in this life. But I had such a crush on you when you first saved my life. I wanted you to need me as I needed you.” She sighed. “But it didn’t happen. And that’s okay. I just... I don’t even know why I’m telling you this in the first place, to be honest. The words are coming and I can’t seem to stop them.”
I shifted with discomfort. I wasn’t quite sure what to say to that. I wanted to be honest, but I also felt compelled to reassure her the way she had been so reassuring to me.
“We aren’t allowed to have relationships with our Targets,” I said. I recited words I’d said a thousand times before. It wasn’t reassuring exactly, but it was honest.
She raised one eyebrow and glanced down at the baby in my arms, seeming to indicate that rules could be broken if participants were willing to take the risk.
Heat raced up my cheeks like a fiery flood. I didn’t know what to say. How could I tell the beautiful human in front of me that Kadie had been the first woman to tempt me in three hundred and fifty years without coming across like a hypocrite? I knew humans well enough to know that Jasmine might take my choice of Kadie as a rejection of her, and that was not the case at all. Kadie was different. That was it. However, it was difficult to put that into words and make Jasmine understand.
“Kadie is part Witch,” I said. It was the only explanation I could think of that might persuade her. “I don’t think I had much of a choice.”
I hated that this was a lie. I hated that I blamed Kadie for my feelings when I knew, deep down, they were organic and came from within. I painted Kadie as a temptress willing to use spells to compel me to have feelings for her when I knew Kadie would never use such manipulation on anyone.
Jasmine frowned. “Part Witch?” she said slowly, tasting the explanation on her lips. “Is that how she managed to conceive your baby? I would have thought it to be practically impossible, since you’re immortal.”
She sat down on the couch. I knew I needed to leave. My son was still sleeping and he felt comfortable against my chest. It was time to reunite him with his mother. And yet, I stopped myself from leaving just yet. I wanted to speak to her, to make sure we were okay. More than that, she might have a point of view that I hadn’t considered before when it came to Kadie herself and why the Demons wanted her and our son.
“We know it is possible now. But it came as a complete surprise to me. I had always assumed I couldn’t procreate.” I nodded, tickling my son’s foot. It was covered by the fuzziness of his onsie and he did not stir from his slumber, but touching him, feeling him against me, calmed my soul. “What are your thoughts?”
Jasmine was extremely clever, empathetic, and slightly clairvoyant. She was not a Witch, per se, but she was intuitive. These were many of the reasons she’d been a Target of the Demons and how she managed to survive them.
She rocked in her seat for a little while and I went to the door to double check that it was locked. I also glanced through the peephole to see if there were any suspicious people lingering about. I knew we were safe in the Hotel, but if the Demons were still using humans, I could not be sure of anything, I turned from the door when I was satisfied and waited for her to say something.
“I knew something was different about him,” Jasmine murmured, her eyes dropping to my son. Clarity touched her irises and her lips were turned up into a gentle smile. “Not just the Angel-Dad thing, but I could feel that there was this magic about him. It was hard for me to explain. But he possess a fate that will not be denied.”
“I know.” I looked down at my son and cradled the top of his head. He had so much hair for just being born. I tilted my head down and inhaled deeply. I was addicted to his scent. It brought me such peace, such warmth, even in trying times such as this one. “Is there anything you can tell me to help me in this quest, Jasmine?”
She turned her head to look at me, her eyes focusing on my face in a strange way. I wasn’t sure what to make of it. I hoped it wasn’t bad.
“You can’t go to them, Gabriel,” she said, her voice soft. It almost sounded as though she was worried someone might overhear, which seemed silly, considering we were safe. Then again, I was paranoid the Demons were still using specifically chosen humans to infiltrate buildings like these ones. “You’ll die. You have to get them to come to you. Take them all on, with the woman by your side. You need to kill the uprising.”
“The uprising?” I had not heard that word used before in relation to the Demons. There were so many questions I had. Every time I received an answer, even more inquiries invaded my mind. What did uprising mean? What was going to happen? How did this involve Kadie and my son? Why could I not go to them and how could I get them t
o me?
My son started making a noise – it was a cross between a purr and a whimper. I looked down and found him to still be sleeping. I bent my knees and bounced slightly, hoping to help rock him back to a deep slumber, one he could not easily wake from.
Jasmine’s gaze fell away and she moaned a little, as though in pain. Her hand reached up to clutch her head.
“Are you all right?” I asked, stepping forward, offering my hand. I had no idea what she could use it for, but it was there in case she needed it.
“I have a headache,” she said, her eyes pinched closed. She tried to stand up and nearly bumped into her daughter’s carrier.
“Lie down, then.” I gestured to the couch she sat upon and she slowly lay down. I bent down, awkward with my son strapped to me, and removed her daughter from the car seat. I did not want her in any unnecessary danger, even if it was danger we might have inadvertently placed her in. I picked her up and she let out a small cry. I froze. What if I had waken her up? What if her cries caused my son to cry? However, after a moment, she settled back down. I turned. There had to be somewhere I could place her for the time being. When I stepped into the bedroom, my eyes rested on a cot tucked into the corner. It was perfect for her.
I set her down and made sure she could not roll off or otherwise hurt herself. When I finished, I went back to the living room. Jasmine was resting her head on the arm of the couch, her body curled tightly into the fetal position.
Despite her insight into what was coming, I knew that was the end of Jasmine’s strength.
I sighed, trying to keep my frustration to myself. Her insights were helpful but vague. I did not know if I could even prepare for this uprising if I did not know what it entailed. The only thing I could do was follow her advice: instead of going to the Demons, I had to wait for them to come to me.
More waiting.
Great.
“I’ll go now, Jasmine,” I told her, padding to the door, “but will check in on you tomorrow.”
Jasmine’s hand snaked out and grabbed me as I crossed her path. I was surprised by how tight her grip was, despite the exhaustion she was enduring
“Be careful, Gabriel,” she said. Her eyelids descended slowly and her words came out slowly. “You and your son are the only things standing in their way.”
Her eyes slid shut once again and I placed her hand back on her stomach so she could rest peacefully. I stepped back and headed for the door. This time, I did not stop for anyone or anything.
So, there was an attack coming? Of course, there was.
I opened the door and stepped out. When I placed my hand on my son’s stomach once again and found myself filled with reassurance with the steady rise and fall of his breathing.
When I stepped into the elevator, I couldn’t help but think of destiny and whether or not it existed. Humans liked to think they had freewill, that they got to determine their path. Perhaps that was true. Humans were treated much differently than Angels and Angels were treated differently than Guardians. But I knew that was not the case for me. My path had been determined from the moment I was born.
I pressed the button that would lead to the first floor and stretched out the tendons in my neck.
I needed to stop them. I needed to stop the Demons if I had any hope of watching my son grow up in a world where his life wasn’t at risk. I had assumed this was the case, but hadn’t really put it all down to one final battle. Until now. Until Jasmine’s words.
Did that mean I could call on the other Fallen Angels? If I did, was that putting them at risk? And if I failed at this mission, did that mean the war was over and the Demons won? And if so, what did that mean for the world? For humans and Witches? For Angels and Guardians? Would all hope be lost?
I damn sure hoped not. We hadn’t battled it out for millenniums for the good side to lose while I was still standing, ready and willing and needing to fight.
I stepped out of the elevator and headed outside. The crisp, fresh air caused a spark to flare through my body and give me life. I looked around. There was a glimmer of silver in the black clouds surrounding me now. Jasmine had said that Kadie would be there, fighting by my side. If I took everything else she said as true, this had to be true as well. I would not let myself think otherwise.
I cloaked myself in invisibility and kissed the crown of my son’s head once more. I inhaled his scent and felt my lips turn up slightly. I did not know why I was smiling when everything seemed dire and hopeless. However, I did not push away the feeling. I revelled in it. I let warmth fill me up. I let myself hope that we could get through this. That we could figure this out and stop this uprising – whatever it was – before it even begun.
I flew to Tabitha’s dimension with my arms wrapped around my sleeping son. The moment we landed, he woke up, his bright blue eyes far too alert for an infant as he tried to look around. I nearly chuckled at the faces he was making as he attempted to make sense of his surroundings. He seemed so serious yet so intent on familiarizing himself with this new world.
I took him out of the carrier and held him up to my face where he reached out a hand and stroked my cheek. His look softened. I could not be certain, but it seemed as though he recognized who I was. He knew me. Perhaps he did not know who I was to him, but he understood I was someone he could trust. Love blossomed inside my heart like the desert flowers under the moon. My throat closed up and tears tingled at the back of my eyes. How was it even possible to love someone so much after such a short amount of time?
“Gabriel.”
I turned towards the familiar voice. Tabitha was waiting for me on the porch, arms crossed over her chest. She did not appear to be happy, but then again, Tabitha was not known for her joy.
“How’s Kadie?” I asked, though I could see the answer in my Angel Agent’s face.
Some of the hardness in her eyes softened and she nodded her head once. “She’s alive and doing well, though not yet conscious.” Her eyes dropped to my hands and widened. “Oh, is this him?” Her voice sounded strange. I wanted to say it was affectionate, but it was difficult to place affection in the same sentence. She reached out her arms, stepping towards me. “Let me hold the baby who has been foretold to save us all.”
I chuckled at Tabitha’s tone as she reached into my arms and gently took the baby from me.
She stared down at him the way that Jasmine had, with total adoration. But there was more to her gaze than just that. There was familiarity.
And then I remembered: Tabitha and my son were the same type of angel. A hybrid. Something rare and thought to be impossible.
If that wasn’t a miracle, I didn’t know what was.
“Don’t put the world on his shoulders just yet, Tabitha,” I told her. “It seems like much time has passed, but he was only born yesterday.”
She lifted him up and down for a moment and unwrapped his blanket to look at him properly. Her eyes scanned the top of his head and turned downwards. Her fingers softly took a look at his hands – at each individual finger – and did the same for his feet and for his toes. She turned him around, tracing his spine with a delicate fingertip, before turning him around once again.
My son stared openly at Tabitha. He did not cry, being in someone else’s arms, but he did not smile and gurgle happily the way he had with Jasmine. Judging from the look on his face, I would say he was studying my Angel Agent, trying to get a read on her, before he decided he approved of her or not.
I bit back a smile. That, indeed, was my child, and my heart soared with unmatched pride.
“He’s grown a lot in only a few days,” she commented more to herself than to me.
“Yes.” I nodded once, though her focus was solely on the child. “His growth is quite accelerated, if Jasmine is to be believed.”
Tabitha nodded, her mouth twisted with thought.
“I wonder if...” She let her voice trail off. I knew she was not speaking to me, not with her hushed tone and intense focus on my son. “Maybe, I’m no
t sure it would make a difference, though perhaps...” She lifted her head, keeping her eyes on my son. Her eyes crinkled as she smiled – I was surprised to see her smile in the first place – and said, “Let’s take you to see your mother, shall we, handsome?”
It was such a strange sight, I could swear I was dreaming. Tabitha was not one to mince words, even when she was being nice and helpful. To hear her coo at the baby was something I did not think was possible. I wanted to record it so I had the memory and could come back to it later as proof that this had happened and was not a figment of my sleep-rattled mind.
My son reached out for Tabitha’s long hair. It would seem he approved of her, and now wanted to get to know her through touch rather than sight.
“What are you going to call him, Gabriel?” she asked, as we walked into her house.
It was as though she could read my mind.
I kept my mouth closed as I thought about my answer. We crossed the living room and turned down the hall. My son managed to grab a strand of Tabitha’s hair and pulled. Tabitha gave no hint that his tugging affected her in any way, and I realized she was much more patient than I realized.
When we reached Kadie’s room, I walked over to the side of the bed and took a seat. Kadie still slept peacefully, something I was grateful for. It was not ideal that she was still unconscious, but at least she did not appear to be in any pain.
I ran my hand along Kadie’s arm, needing to touch her in some way, needing to know she was still tangible and not some figment of my imagination. She was warm, and felt strong. I let out a breath of relief. But she didn’t move, she didn’t make a noise as I touched her.
I tried to ignore the twinge of disappointment that ran through me and brought my hand to my lap. It was silly of me to think being connected through our bodies suddenly meant I was her saviour and could wake her with a touch or a kiss. Fairytales were for the young and foolish. Reality was not so simple.
