by Tamsin Baker
I released a sigh and moved hair from her face. So badly I wanted her to wake up. I wanted her to be well. I wanted her to be coherent. I wanted everything for her. And yet, a selfish part of me needed her to recognize me on top of everything else. I could not bear it if she had forgotten me so completely.
Despite my initial reaction to fairytales, the sleeping beauty tale was weaving through my head. My touch did not seem to have any effect on her, but maybe something else would. Maybe if I kissed her...
But no.
And yet, even as I tried to focus on something else, I couldn’t get the idea of kissing Kadie out of my mind.
I was a fool, then. A broken-hearted, hopeless fool.
“He doesn’t have a name yet?” she asked again, breaking me out of my thoughts.
I looked from Kadie’s face and up to Tabitha once again.
“I think his mother should have a chance to name him,” I told her. “At least, we should discuss it is together. It’s one of the most important things a person can do, naming a child, don’t you think, Tabitha?”
She nodded quietly. She walked to the other side of Kadie and pulled down the blanket to expose her breasts. I had forgotten she was naked underneath them, only to be reminded that Margaret and Simone had cleansed her body before administering her with medicine. Apparently they never dressed her again.
“What are you –“
I cut myself off when I watched her place our son on a breast.
“What are you doing?” I tried again, slightly alarmed. Wouldn’t he roll off?
“Just watch,” she said, taking a respectful step back
Chapter 10.
The baby began to softly cry, his head coming up and bobbing around as though looking for something. I reached out for the babe, hoping to offer him comfort. Tabitha reached across the bed and swatted at my arm, shooting me a look. I felt chagrined and dropped my arms, focusing my attention on my child. Kadie didn’t stir, but the baby kept searching for her breast. His head came right up and he seemed to be looking at her face, before continuing to bob around with his mouth open. He moved sideways, his mouth on her skin as he licked her. Tasting her.
I wanted to support his head and neck. It was clear that while he exhibited surprising strength for a babe born only a few days ago, he was not able to lift his head up on his own just yet. I shifted my eyes to Tabitha, trying to decipher if she would swat me away again. However, she seemed focused on the babe, on whether he would be able to do accomplish his task.
He came closer to my side of the bed. I refused to let him continue bobbing around. His cries had taken hold of me. I did not want him to endure anymore frustration when all he wanted to do was feed himself. It must have been his feeding time. I placed one hand on his back and then offered Kadie’s breast to him.
He dove on the nipple like a starving man and made grunting noises as he suckled. I kept his head in place as he fed himself.
A noise interrupted my thoughts.
“He’s feeding,” I said with awe, to no one in particular.
“Kadie’s coming back to us,” Tabitha said. “She must be. Breast milk gives life. She could not give life if she was teetering towards death. It would not be possible.”
My heart soared at her words. Tabitha was not the sort to lie to make someone feel good. Which meant this was true. Kadie was coming back.
I hoped that meant she was coming back soon.
I put my hand on my son’s back to make sure he didn’t roll off, and bent my head to kiss Kadie’s lips.
I was under no illusion that this would not wake up Kadie. But I could not stop myself, even if I wanted to. I had to touch her. I had to taste her.
Her breath caressed my mouth as I pressed my lips to her warmth. I almost melted into the kiss. God, I wanted her to be awake. I wanted her to kiss me like she meant it, the way she used to.
But like all good things, this had to come to an end. I pulled away, my eyes remaining on her the entire time. I was sure I was filled with an unmatched longing. I didn’t care that Tabitha saw me. I didn’t care that she was no doubt judging me. At that moment, Kadie’s eyelids fluttered.
I blinked. Surely, I’d imagined it.
“Kadie?” Tabitha asked, grabbing for her arm.
Obviously, it wasn’t just me who’d seen the movement. My breath hitched in my throat. I wanted to lean over Kadie and kiss her again and again. If my kiss would wake her up, I would kiss her a thousand times, and then a thousand times more.
At that moment, Simone came rushing into the room with a mug of steaming hot water that smelled like the bottom of a sewage pond. I hadn’t realized the Witches were there. Silly of me to have made that assumption. I had been too wrapped up in myself, in my thoughts, to remember that we weren’t alone. We had help that wanted us to succeed, that wanted Kadie awake.
“Are you certain you should be giving her that?” I asked, wrinkling my nose and eyeing the cup. “It smells awful.”
Simone nodded her head and gave me an intense look. “Trust me, she’s going to need this,” she murmured, stepping around Tabitha and sitting carefully on the edge of the bed. She steadied the mug, ensuring nothing spilled over. “Get the baby off her and get ready for the fight.”
Without a question, I grabbed for the mewling baby and placed him safely in a basket on the floor. My body thrummed with eager anticipation. I might have once demanded an explanation. I did not want to have hope when there was none. I did not like the fall from being so high and having such a long drop when hope was snatched away from me.
However, I could not help but wonder what she meant by getting my son ready for the battle. Was he supposed to be present? Or did Simone mean he should be prepared to be somewhere safe while we faced the battle? If either, I was stuck. For one, I wanted my son nowhere near the battlefield where he could get taken or worse. I refused to put him in a situation where he could be used against me, to manipulate me and get me to do whatever they wanted me to do. Where he could be injured or even killed.
And if I was supposed to get him to safety, I was not sure where to begin. I did not want to take him back to Jasmine so soon. She was the only person I trusted to take care of my son except Tabitha and Kadie. Tabitha would no doubt be on the battlefield beside me.
And Kadie?
I did not want to speculate. She, too, was powerful, but if she did wake up – and that was a big if – then I could not be certain she would be able to fight let alone care for our son.
I released a breath and shifted my eyes over to Simone. What did she know?
At that moment, Kadie sat bolt upright and began swinging her fists at me, screaming in a vicious tongue I didn’t recognize.
My heart leapt into my throat. I didn’t even react. I could not. I was overjoyed to have her awake but I did not wish for her to accidentally clip our son. I turned to Tabitha and placed the dozing babe in her arms so I could turn to Kadie with my full attention.
“Hold her down,” Simone instructed. “She needs to drink this!” She maneuvered around Tabitha, who carefully stepped back, cradling my son with a tenderness I had never seen from her before. She carefully reached forward with the awful-smelling drink, a look of grim determination in the lines of her young face.
“Get away from me!” Kadie screamed, her face turning red. Her eyebrows hung over her eyes and her lips were curled into a snarl. I had never seen her so angry before. I did not understand this reaction at all. “You all deserve to be thrown into hell! You do! Oh, you fucking do!” She grunted and laughed as she scratched at my arms with her sharp nails.
I grabbed her wrists and held on tight, pulling her arms above her head and tugging her backwards so she was lying down again. I was careful not to grip her too tightly. I did not want to harm her even if she saw me as her enemy and was attacking because of it.
She writhed and screamed at me. I tried to peer into her eyes, tried to see a flicker of recognition in her eyes. I found nothing. Taking advan
tage of my careful study of her, she spat at me. Her saliva slowly slid down my cheek, but I did not relent.
“Do whatever you’re going to do, or I’m going to have to knock her out,” I told Simone, my heart cracking as Kadie fought me. I wanted nothing more than to wrap her in my arms, to hold her, to murmur things to her about how she was safe and that our son had her eyes. I wanted to tell her everything that had transpired when she had been unconscious. I wanted to run away with her and leave everyone and everything behind.
I could see none of my beautiful Kadie left in the woman who now fought me like the Demons that had tortured her and I could not risk having my son anywhere near her until she was herself again.
I would not let myself consider that that might never be a possibility.
Simone came forward and Kadie kicked at her. She held onto the cup, though a couple of drops of the concoction fell onto the bedspread.
“Tabitha!” Simone said. “Get her legs.”
Tabitha nodded and disappeared from the room momentarily. When she returned, my son was gone. For that, I was grateful. I understood that babies at this age could not remember what happened. Regardless, I did not want him to see his mother, to be around her, when she was like this. Perhaps Margaret was holding him now. Perhaps he was lying in the other room, tucked safely on a bed, positioned between two pillows that prevented him from rolling off the bed. I was not sure if he was able to roll off the bed just yet, but I hoped Tabitha protected him in that way.
When she returned, Tabitha wasted no time positioning her body across Kadie’s thighs, using her body weight to hold Kadie down. I kept my grip on Kadie’s upper body. I knew she would receive bruises from the way I held them even though I made sure it wasn’t rough. But the way she was thrashing and pulling, she was inflicting damage to her own delicate skin.
Even so, I was impressed by her strength. She had been unconscious for a while and she woke up with an unmatched fire inside of her.
Simone walked forward once more, clinging to the mug she held for grim death. There was a determined glint in her eye that seemed to say she would get this drink down Kadie no matter what she had to do.
Margaret came up from behind me and gripped Kadie’s tormented face. If she was here, I assumed my son was in a room, safely away from all of this. Margaret pried open Kadie’s mouth by pulling down her chin and Simone was finally able to dump the black muck down her nostrils. I frowned. What an odd way to deliver the concoction. However, it was not as though Kadie was complying. Her teeth were clenched together so tightly I was surprised the vein in her forehead did not pop. This seemed to be the only way to get this to her.
It went up her nose and into her mouth. Kadie screamed in outrage, damning everyone in the room to a Hell most horrible.
All I could do was hold her tight and cling to the hope that the woman I knew was strong enough to claw her way back to us.
“More,” Margaret instructed, her voice firm. She sounded sure, strong, but when I looked over at her, I could easily see the mixture of fear and hopelessness in her eyes.
I realized then that this was our last hope. If this didn’t work, nothing would. If this didn’t work, Kadie would be lost to us forever.
Simone threw more of the liquid into Kadie’s screaming mouth until the mug was empty and the room was filled with a pond-like stench. She coughed up some of it, trying to spit it out, but Simone forced her hand over Kadie’s mouth, preventing her from doing so. She had to be careful – Kadie did not seem to have any qualms trying to bite Simone.
After a long moment, Kadie’s screams began to slow and then she was no longer fighting us.
Simone slowly released her hold on Kadie’s mouth and took a step back. She continued to watch Kadie with expectant eyes, waiting to see if the concoction did its job.
Then the sweetest words came into the room, on a wave of hope after disaster.
“Tabitha?” Kadie’s voice sounded raw, scratchy, as though she hadn’t spoken for a year. And yet, it was as sweet as a bird’s song early in the morning. “Gabriel? What’s going on here?” Kadie’s eyes were now clear and she looked at me with utter confusion. She remembered me. More than that, she was looking to me for answers.
“Oh, thank you, God,” I declared to the sky and let go of Kadie’s arms.
Tabitha came forward with a towel and offered it to Kadie, who sat up and wiped at her mouth. I realized that all her thrashing and fighting caused Kadie’s blanket to slip, revealing her nakedness to the room. Despite the fact that besides myself, the room was filled with women, I pulled at the blanket over her body so she could retain her modesty and keep warm.
I relaxed once again on the side of the bed and pulled her into my arms, holding on as tight as I dared. All my prayers had been answered. Relief swept over me like a gentle wave hitting the shore. I buried my face in her hair. I did not care that I would have to pay the piper for bringing home my girl. I would do whatever I needed to. Kadie had come back to me, and that was all that mattered.
“You came back,” I whispered out loud, unable to hold it back. My heart knitted together stronger and brighter than before. I could not stop smiling if I tried.
Kadie softened in my arms and pulled away so she could look up at me. “You came for me,” she murmured. I did not know why she was relieved. It was as though there was part of her that believed I would not. Before I could tell her I would always be there for her, she picked her head up from my chest and furrowed her brow. “Where’s my baby?”
I smiled down at her and touched her face with my fingertips for a moment in reverent prayer. She knew our son. She remembered him.
“He’s here.”
I had not realized Margaret had left the room, but upon her return, she stepped in with our son tucked in her arms, wrapped in a blanket to keep him warm. Small cries of frustration at having been ripped away from her breast filled the room.
Margaret handed our babe to Kadie and he threw himself back in a horizontal position, expecting to be fed.
“He’s still hungry,” I said at her confused smile and she dropped the blanket to offer the baby her breast.
“Here you go,” Tabitha said, arranging a pile of pillows behind Kadie so she could rest back a bit.
The baby attached hungrily once again and Kadie gasped at the pressure. I had not realized breast feeding could be a painful exchange. Perhaps there was some way to relieve Kadie’s pain, a balm that could be applied to the nipples that would not harm the baby in any way.
“What happened?” Kadie asked, absently stroking our son’s head. Every now and then, her face would contort in pain, but she refused to move our son from her. I was certain it did not help that this was the first time she was feeding him, so her breasts were hard with a heavy supply. “And what on earth is that smell?”
I looked towards Simone and Margaret, who both stepped forward. They were looking at Kadie with a strange awe-like wonder, which I wasn’t sure I entirely understood. I knew they knew Kadie was also a Witch, but it seemed to be more than that.
“I’m Margaret, and this is my niece, Simone,” Margaret said, gesturing at both herself and Simone. “Gabriel found us and asked us to come here and help you pull through.”
“Was I badly hurt?” Kadie asked, her gaze shifting to me, a lack of understanding clear in her gaze. She did not know all she endured. For a moment, I did not want to tell her. I did not think it was privy for her to know. And yet, she deserved the truth. Perhaps there was a way to tell her without unnecessary detail. I did not think she was ready for everything just yet. Not until she recovered more thoroughly.
“Your wounds healed well,” I told her, choosing my words carefully. “It was more the poison they’d fed you via a drip.”
Kadie gasped and turned back to the women. “You’re both Witches?” she asked.
“Yes,” Margaret said, nodding once. “Simone is a new, untrained Witch, like you. Yet, she has great power and a natural ability for potions.
She brewed the remedy that you can smell, and probably still taste. Unfortunately, we cannot make it smell any better without tainting the potion’s healing capabilities.”
Kadie chuckled. “I thought there was something strange going on with my stomach, but as I am intensely grateful to be alive, I wasn’t going to ask about the flavor in my mouth.” She patted our son’s tush a couple of times and he sighed contentedly as he continued to suck at her breast.
Tabitha handed her a cup of tea. “This will be really sweet, but your body needs the sugar,” she said. Kadie used her free hand to grasp the cup carefully. She did not want to drop any of the hot liquid onto our son. “Drink up.”
“Thank you, Tabitha,” Kadie said.
“Can I take him?” Tabitha asked. At Kadie’s nod, my Angel Agent proceeded to pick up the sleeping baby and tap his back, trying to burp him.
“So, what have I missed?” Kadie asked, hugging the blankets to herself and gripping the sugary tea like she needed it for an anchor. “Besides the fact that I was poisoned by Demons, had a child, and was saved by two strangers who happen to be Witches.”
I stepped up. If I wanted Kadie not to know everything, I needed to be the one to tell her. I explained what had happened at the castle that night and almost everything since. I told her how Jasmine took care of our son and even her premonition. Perhaps I shouldn’t have done that. Perhaps the premonition was too much.
“So, our son is two days old and people are already seeing visions of him saving the world?” Kadie shook her head and laughed. “I know some parents have unrealistic expectations of their children, but that’s a bit much.”
Tabitha brought our son closer again and spoke to Kadie softly.
“Your son’s conception and birth is a true miracle, Kadie,” she murmured. “One that we have foretold for centuries. He will be immortal, like his father, like me. I am also the child of a Fallen Angel and Witch conception. But I was not the saviour they had all predicted, even though they thought I was.”
Tabitha swallowed hard, and for the first time since I knew her, I sensed the pain inside her. The disappointment at being born the wrong sex. At the wrong time.
