When Love grows doubt

by Barbara Eckhoff

  "He was here at the festival yesterday."

  "Yes, I saw him."

  "He was talking to Moira yesterday and it looked to me like she wasn't on good terms with him, so I wanted to know more about him.”

  "I can well imagine that about Moira; after all, Dumfrey has courted her since her parents died, and made quite a few proposals of marriage, which she has refused each time."

  Robert sat up in amazement.

  "Dumfrey was going to marry Moira? Do you know that about her?"

  "No, Moira would never confide such a thing to me. Eileen told me that Sir Dumfrey often badgered

  Moira to say yes at last. He also wanted to support her financially, buy her lands or rebuild her childhood home, if she would marry him, but she refused each time until he finally understood that Moira would never marry him."

  "She never told me that."

  "I only know all this from Eileen, because she is her best friend and Eileen can't stand him. But that's all water under the bridge now. She's your wife now and unattainable for him. So," Samuel stood up," I'm going to get back to work. If you have time later on, you should come over to the stable and take a look at Majestic's injury. You know better than I do and maybe you can tell me how we can cure it."

  "I'll do that, see you later."

  Samuel left the writing room, leaving a thoughtful Robert behind. Dumfrey had courted Moira. Why had she never mentioned him in a syllable? And if she didn't why had she appeared in his company at the ball? And how did the scene he had observed between the two of them last night fit in? He had not believed Moira's explanation. What was going on here? Questions upon questions suddenly arose and he found no answers for them. Of course he could go up and ask Moira himself, but wouldn't he sound like a jealous husband? Besides, he couldn't shake the feeling that he wouldn't hear the truth from her on this subject. No, he would not say anything for now, but he would definitely keep an eye on things and try to get behind the secret. When he thought about the secrets, he remembered a completely different story that he hadn't bothered about for a long time. It was time to address this smuggling issue as well. Soon it would be full moon again and this time he decided that, come what may, he would wait for the villains at the bay.

  Chapter 19

  "Robert? Are you here?"

  "Yes, in the last stall."

  Moira hurried down the stable alley, then stopped in horror in front of the open stall. She saw the pregnant mare lying in the straw, whinnying loudly in pain, and her hooves thickly wrapped with cloth and loosely tied. Samuel knelt by the mare's neck and patted it, while he soothed her. Robert, on the other hand, the hind legs of a foal still in its mother's body in his hands and pulled on them. Breathless with effort, Robert called out to her:

  "Moira, you shouldn't be here."

  "My God, isn't there anything I can do to help?"

  "Get some hot water, it's over there in the kettle. The foal is stuck upside down and I'm trying to pull it out before the mother dies."

  Moira hurried over to the corner, where a kettle with warm water was ready and filled a large bucket with it. Regardless of her and her circumstance, she lifted the heavy bucket and carried it over to the box.

  Robert struggled, with each squeezing contraction, to pull the foal further out, but it did not look good.

  The mare was getting visibly weaker and the foal was still too far in the belly of the mother. Moira could only helplessly watch as her husband tried with all his strength to save the animal. He cursed angrily to himself and it would have been better if she had covered her ears, because the words he uttered in his desperation were not meant for the ears of a lady. But Moira was at the same time horrified and fascinated by what was happening. She had never watched a birth before. She suffered with the mare and when she thought all was lost, Robert managed to get the butt out with a last powerful jerk. Then it took only one more contraction and he could pull the little slippery foal out of the mother's body. For a while, none of them said anything. Robert had crashed against the back wall of the barn with the last jerk, together with the foal, and was just getting himself up again when Samuel and Moira came to his aid.

  The little foal was sticky and wet and could not yet stand up, but it was alive. Even the mother seemed to understand that it was over, because she lifted her head and looked for her little one.

  "Oh Robert, you did it. You saved her."

  Moira threw herself into Robert's arms as he stood up and rose. Tears of joy ran down her face.

  "Look, I'm dirty and sweaty and..."

  "I don't care. You earned this one."

  With that, she pressed a long kiss on his lips and Robert returned it passionately. Samuel's clearing of his throat brought them both back again and so Robert detached himself from Moira's embrace and began to

  examine both animals.

  "Rub the foal well with straw. I'm going to take the mother's fetlocks and then we have to hope that the foal, as well as the mother, stand up. Only then did we make it."

  A few minutes later, when all three of them were standing in the box, it was the mare that was the first to try to get up. Robert held his breath. He knew this was the moment of truth, whether the mare would make it or not and whether she would accept her foal. It took the mare three tries before she was back on her feet again and began to lick her foal. Moira's heart soared at this scene. She could literally feel the mare's motherly love for her newborn and again tears came to her eyes. Then the mother nudged her little one encouragingly and after several awkward attempts the little foal stood on wobbly legs for the first time. Robert exhaled audibly.

  "That was close, but we made it. Let's leave these two alone for a while, so they can get to know each

  other."

  Samuel, who had never experienced such a difficult birth, patted Robert on the back appreciatively.

  "How lucky you are to know so well. I would have been totally overwhelmed."

  "I've only done that twice, too, having a foal situated upside down. This is the first time mother and foal did it together. Hope that the other foals will be born normally. Please put in some fresh straw so that they are well bedded. I'm going to go over and freshen up, then I'll be back. Come on Moira, you don't have to cry anymore. It's over."

  Robert took his distraught wife in his arms to calm her down and then led her out of the stable.

  "These are tears of joy. That was incredible and the little foal, so cute to look at, lying there in the straw. That was a masterstroke. I love you."

  "Mhm, how much?"

  "What do you mean?"

  "How much do you love me? I think I deserve a reward and you could show me how much you love me."

  With feigned indignation, she stood up in front of him and dug her finger into his chest.

  "Lord MacIntyre, you are a very bad one, and I can't disappear in broad daylight with you into the

  bedchamber. I wonder what the others will think."

  Robert hurried into the house with the laughing Moira by the hand.

  "We're married, remember?"

  Albert was packing his master's valise when Robert entered his bedchamber.

  "Shall I pack your evening suit as well, sir?"

  "Yes, that would be good. That way I'll be prepared in case things should go ahead a little more formally after all."

  "How long will you be gone, and will my lady accompany you?"

  "My wife will not be going. It is a business meeting, and she would only be bored. If everything goes to my satisfaction I will be back in five days."

  "Do you really want to go by horse instead of taking your carriage? Wouldn't it be more comfortable that way?"

  “ Oh Albert, I appreciate that you want to make a real lord out of me, but I'm an outdoors-man and I like to get around on horseback. The carriage I leave to the ladies or the older gentlemen. The horse has clear

  advantages, because I can ride cross-country, and it save
s me a lot of time."

  "Then I'll have Gwyneth prepare a good bag of provisions for you, Sir."

  "I won't say no to that."

  When Robert came to the stable the next morning to fetch his horse, he was wearing the riding clothes that he had worn on his long ride through the American wilderness. It was more comfortable and sturdy than the European pantaloons. Under his jacket he wore around his waist his old gun belt. He had not carried a weapon since he arrived here in Scotland, but he could not break the old habit of setting out on a journey without some sort of defense. One could never know if there were any wayfarers along the way and so he did not want to put himself in danger without protection. Robert stowed his luggage and the well bag of provisions and said goodbye to Samuel.

  "Take good care of everything for me. If everything goes according to plan, I'll be back in five days."

  "You can count on me, and watch out, don't let old Stuart pull a fast one on you. I hear he's a fox."

  "So am I. So long."

  With that, he mounted his black steed and trotted over to the house. Moira stood waiting there.

  "Take good care of yourself and come back safe. I do not like it at all that you want to ride all by yourself. You should at least take Samuel with you."

  "He is needed here. Don't worry, I'll be back in five days."

  "That's such a long time without you."

  Robert leaned down to her. Tenderly grasped her chin, breathed a kiss on her mouth and replied, "You'll see that the time will pass very quickly. I have to go, Moira. Take good care of our little one and don't overexert yourself."

  With that, he kissed her passionately on the mouth before he stood up, tapped his hat in salute and gave his horse his spurs. Moira gazed after him until he disappeared from her view.

  Chapter 20

  Moira strolled through the garden. Robert had only been gone for two days, but she missed him painfully. She couldn't even remember what it had been like without him. In an attempt to distract herself, she had been busy with a number of domestic tasks, had been visiting Eileen and had helped Samuel bring the new foal with its mother to a small pasture, but nothing had really helped. She missed him and hoped that time would pass more quickly. Just as she was about to go back into the house, to get a book from the library, Albert intercepted her.

  "Milady. This letter has just been dropped for you."

  She accepted it gratefully, put it in her skirt pocket and went into the library. She searched through the many old books, for one that would interest her, found what she was looking for and went to the small reception room. There she settled down in a comfortable armchair near the window. Just as she began to read the first page, she remembered the letter and reached into her pocket to take it out. She froze. Would this never end? The letter now opened in her hand, she read the words written in the already familiar script.

  Your husband is out of the house. Meet me the evening after tomorrow at the same time and place as always. Destroy this message.

  Angry and desperate, she crumpled the letter into a ball and threw it into the cold fireplace. In that moment she did not care if Robert found it. She knew that if he confronted her and pressed her with words, that she would confess everything to him. But he was not here. Once again, Dumfrey's informant had done a good job. She simply could not escape him. But this time, she would only obey

  Dumfrey's instructions. For her, it was over. She was no longer willing to betray Robert.

  Despite the mild night temperatures she had chosen a black cape. She did not want to be recognized under any circumstances, in case someone came along the way. Right now she stood in the shelter of the old tree and was waiting for Dumfrey's carriage. This time it had not been as easy as the times before to leave the house unobserved. Too many servants scurried through the corridors of the castle, to ensure that everything ran smoothly, even in the evening hours. When it looked like the last of them had gone to rest, she had carefully climbed down the stairs and sneaked out of the house through the back door.

  The fact that she had to sneak out of her own house, like a thief, tugged at her nerves. She had hurried to the meeting place, but Dumfrey was not here yet. Just when she hoped he would not come, she heard the

  carriage approaching. Directly in front of her it stopped and the coachman, whom she already knew from their encounter at the bay, gave her a sign that she should get in. When, without a word, the hutch was opened from the inside she got in and the carriage slowly started to move.

  Robert let his horse trot across the meadow, it was already late, but he had almost made it. His visit to Lord Bratley had been satisfactory. The lord had already bought some breeding bulls from him and wanted to expand further. The gentlemen had quickly agreed on the price and the procedure and so he had been ready to start his journey home late this morning. He was looking forward to getting home. He had missed Moira the last few days and he resolved to take her with him next time. He gave his horse the spurs, so that it would go a little faster. Tonight he would hold her in his arms again. She was probably already in bed and did not expect his return until tomorrow. He was just leaving the small forest behind him, which separated him from the main road, when he heard the sound of hooves. At the moment when he was about to turn into the road, a black carriage passed him at a moderate speed. The driver had not noticed him, for he continued on his way until he stopped some distance away. Robert was startled. Even if the coachman had not seen him, he had clearly noticed that it was the same carriage, that had almost run him over the other night. Curious as to why the carriage had stopped in this deserted area, he steered his horse back into the woods and tried to creep closer to it parallel to the road. When he was almost at the same height as the carriage, he dismounted and tied his horse to a tree.

  Quietly he crept on. Strange, he thought to himself. The carriage stood motionless and nothing moved. What was going on here? What was the coachman waiting for? Suddenly, the hutch opened and a petite

  figure in a black robe stepped out. Robert's breath caught in his throat. He didn't need any clairvoyant abilities at all, to know who was hidden there under the cape. He would have recognized her among thousands of women. Before he could even think about what Moira was doing here, he could see Charles Dumfrey lean out of the carriage and hand her a small box, which she immediately let disappear into her skirt pocket.

  "You know what you have to do in two days."

  The figure in the cloak nodded silently and then went on his way in the direction of the castle. Robert did not understand what he just observed. Did his wife have an affair with Dumfrey? The door was closed again and the coachman turned the carriage. He cracked the whip and the horses trotted off in the direction from which Robert had come. For a few seconds he stood still. He could not believe what he had just seen. If he hurried, he could get home before Moira and catch her in the bedroom when she returned. A few minutes later he reached the stable. He hurried into the house and up to his bedroom, driven by the hope that he had made a mistake after all. But when he opened the door to the room, he found himself alone. The bed was empty and there was no trace of Moira. He closed the door behind him and sat down in one of the armchairs by the fireplace. Without lighting a candle, he waited in the darkness for his traitorous wife. He did not have to wait long to hear the small steps from the hallway. Quietly the door was opened and closed again, and when she was in the middle of the room, he could observe how she got rid of the cloak and expelled her breath audibly.

  "Did you enjoy your night's ride?"

  Moira wheeled around, startled, and let out a small scream of terror when she heard her husband's voice behind her.

  "Robert! You're home already?"

  Without rising from his chair, he began his interrogation.

  "Where did you come from now?"

  Moira was visibly nervous, how should she answer him now?

  "I was just getting some air."

  "Don't lie to me!"
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  Horrified at her husband's angry voice, she backed away.

  "I know exactly where you came from, because I saw you get out of Dumfrey's carriage. I would have thought you had a little more taste, than to take an old fop like him to cuckold me. How long has this been going on."

  "It's not what you think."

  "Oh no? Then how is it, explain it to me."

  Slowly he rose and came toward her. She saw the anger in his eyes and instinctively she took a step back, but Robert grabbed her arm and pulled her toward him.

  "Am I already so repugnant to you that that you want to run away from me?"

  "No, please Robert you're hurting me."

  Immediately, he loosened his grip, but he did not let her go. Desperation rose up in her, how should she explain everything to him. He was so angry with her and she could feel it starting to boil inside him.

  "I'm still waiting for an explanation and don't feed me any stories. I can tell a lie from you in a heartbeat."

  Was she really so easy to see through or did he just know her too well already.

  "Please Robert, you have to believe me, I am not having an affair with Dumfrey. I don't even like him. I love you - only you."

  "Then why were you in his carriage?"

  "That, I can't tell you."

  Furious, he pulled her closer to him until her body pressed against him.

  "Can't or won't?"

  Astonished, she noticed how he reached into her skirt pocket and pulled out the small can. He let go of her and was about to open the can, when she rushed to snatch it out of his hands. But Robert was faster and kept Moira to within an arm's length of him.

  "Please, give it back to me," she pleaded in a final fit of desperation.