When Love grows doubt

by Barbara Eckhoff

  "As I told you before, we have seen you. We have followed everything and we know that Dumfrey had to have an informant here. Until the day before yesterday we didn't know who it was, but you've just confirmed our suspicions. I'll take that as a confession. The only thing I'm interested in now is, the how. How do you get in touch with Dumfrey when you want to send him a message and how does he contact you?"

  William was silent. How could he save himself now?

  The revenge of Dumfrey, when he would learn that he had been found out would be terrible. Robert gradually lost his patience with this boy. Didn't he understand that only full cooperation would help him now to protect himself from a severe punishment.

  "Boy, you should start talking. I want to know how this operation works."

  The words just thundered down on him. Lowly, he finally gave in.

  "Please sir, if Sir Dumfrey finds out that I have given you this information, he's going to do something bad to my family. He can be very mean."

  Robert was convinced of that.

  "Tell me what I want to know and I will protect your family from him."

  "There is an old oak tree at the entrance to the village, that has a small hole in its trunk. There- I put a note in it when I want to see him. He, on the other hand, sends me a letter when he needs my help.

  Please, I have told you everything I know. Will you protect my family for that long, while I am in prison?"

  "That won't be necessary, because I'll let you go..."

  William couldn't believe his luck.

  "Thank you sir, I also promise that I will never do it again."

  "I'll let you go only on one condition, that we don't get it wrong. I deeply disapprove and despise what you have done, but I credit you your young age and your inexperience and hope that you will not make me regret my good nature towards you. You will continue to work here and pretend that nothing has happened. You will stand by for Dumfrey, and you will report to me immediately when he's contacted you. Do you know when the load is to be moved from his property?"

  "Not exactly. He said last night that he would need us again in about two weeks."

  "Well, let's wait for him to let you know, and until then, be warned. One wrong move from you and I won't hesitate to inform the police about you. Are we clear?"

  "Yes sir, thank you. You will not regret it. Thank you."

  "Good, then back to work."

  When the boy had left the room Robert heaved a sigh. Samuel patted him appreciatively on the shoulders.

  "Tell me I did the right thing. I hope the kid understands what's at stake for him."

  "I think he does. It's his second chance. We will keep a close eye on him. What are we going to do when the transport starts?"

  "Then we grab them. I'll ride to Fort Williams in a couple of days, and I'll tell the police there. I don't want to leave anything to chance that night."

  "Well, what does Moira actually say about all the events? After all, the gang is acting under her nose."

  "I didn't bother her with it. She's not doing so well at the moment and I didn't want to upset her further."

  "I hope it's nothing serious?"

  "No, the baby is bothering her."

  "Would you like me to send Eileen over to see if she can help?"

  "No, right now rest is best for her."

  "Whatever you say."

  Samuel sensed that there was more than Robert was telling him. But he accepted that he didn't seem to want to talk to him about it.

  Chapter 23

  How long she had been here in this room she did not know. The days came and went. The first few days, she had still gotten ready in the morning because she had always hoped to see Robert again, but over time she had to realize that she was waiting in vain. She had also stopped her daily walks in the park. She simply lacked the drive to do so. Three times a day she saw the same servant, who would only hand her the food tray and then leave again. Several times she had given him a message for her husband, but she had never received an answer from him. He wanted to punish her with disrespect and he had every right to do so. She had sinned against him and deserved to be punished. But did she not also deserve to defend herself? All she wanted, was the chance to talk to him again, try to explain to him, that she really loved him. Moira didn't know what offended her more, the accusation that she wanted to poison him or that she had never loved him. She knew it wasn‘t so, because her heart still beat for him and so she had cried herself out in the first days, until she had no more tears left. Sometimes she had even thought she could hear his footsteps in the hallway, as they paused in front of the door, but that could only have been a dream. Robert had never come to her again after that ominous night, and so she finally had to face the truth. He didn't want her around anymore. She had died for him, just as Dumfrey had prophesied to her.

  Moira laughed bitterly. She had believed the power of love could overcome everything. Now she had to bitterly realize that she had been mistaken. She had once been very happy with him and had never thought it would be possible that things could become different. But now - what kind of life was it to vegetate here, to give birth to a child she would never see grow up and to know that the man she loved would never find his way back to her? Moira had lost her will to live, and one day she lost her appetite and would not touch the food that was brought to her.

  When Robert came home dirty and drenched Albert was already running excitedly to meet him. He had been on the road for the last week to talk to the police in Fort Williams. They would be on their way in the next few days to be on standby in the vicinity. After he had spent almost all the time in the saddle and now it had started to rain, he was glad to be back home. He was tired, but a hot bath and a good meal would revive his spirits again. However, when he saw Albert approaching with a worried face, he was sure that it could not bode well.

  "My lord. Thank God you are back. My lady is not well."

  "What's wrong with her?"

  "We don't know, she's locked herself in, please come."

  Robert jumped off the horse, left it to itself and hurried up the steps, two at a time. Forgotten was his

  exhaustion. He stormed through the vestibule and up the next staircase. Albert followed after him.

  At the top he took a deep breath to calm his pulse again, then he pressed the door handle, but the door

  remained locked.

  "Why did she lock herself in?"

  "We don't know. She did it three days ago, and won't let us in, nor does she respond to our calling."

  "Three days - my God Albert. Step aside."

  Robert had to throw himself against the door three times before it gave way and the wood splintered on the doorpost. The room had been darkened with the curtains and he tried to get his eyes used to the darkness. The smell that came out of the room took his breath away. It smelled of stale air and food and the smell of a full chamber pot. He found Moira huddled on the floor. She was dressed in a nightgown standing with dirt and did not respond to his touch. Fear befelled him, he would never forgive himself for this, if she died- thank God he felt her pulse. Quickly he lifted her up and laid her in bed.

  "Albert, tear open the windows, light the lamps and bring out the extras. Send your wife up. I need her help."

  "Very well sir, she's not..."

  "No, she's alive. She's unconscious. Hurry."

  Robert clapped his hand lightly in Moira's face, but it was not until the third time that she began to move.

  Slowly, she opened her eyes. Robert exhaled audibly with relief. A slight smile played around her mouth, when she caught sight of him. Her lips were brittle and torn and her voice would not obey her, when she tried to speak. Croaking, she heard herself say:

  "Is it really you? You finally came."

  Robert could hardly bear to see her. She had always been a strong, good looking young woman and now here on the white sheets lay a figure that was emaciated and filthy and he had to
answer for this.

  He had been angry and hurt, had wanted to forget her. She deserved a lesson and punishment, but he had punished himself with it. Night after night he had not been able to sleep, because in his thoughts were only her. After all she had done to him, he still loved her.

  "Save the power of speech until you are well again."

  "I...I didn't mean for any of this to happen."

  "We'll talk when you're better."

  "My lord - oh my child. What are you doing."

  Harried immediately hurried over to the bed, picked up the chamber pot with vomit in it and emptied it in the bathroom. Robert called over to her.

  "Bring me a glass of water, please."

  Harried hurried to hand him a full glass of water. Since Moira was too weak to hold the glass by herself, he helped her drink. Sip by sip, she drank the glass empty.

  "Harried, would you please prepare a bath for my wife and help me bathe her?"

  "Very well, my lord."

  "Oh, and let the maids know, to clean up in the meantime and make the bed fresh."

  She nodded, then dumped the water into the tub and hurried out to fetch the maids. A few minutes later, Robert had Moira undressed and placed in the warm tub. He held her tightly so that she would not sink, for her body was too weak to hold itself upright in the tub. Harried washed her body and her hair. Robert, however, looked at the emaciated body and his gaze remained on the now already visible roundness of her belly. In this respect, she had not lied. She was pregnant and it angered him, that she had not only put her life at risk with her hunger strike, but also that of his child. Half an hour later, Moira was lying in a clean nightgown in the freshly made bed. The maids had removed all traces and the room smelled fresh and pleasant again. Robert lit the fireplace and looked up as Albert came in.

  "Will you please tell Gwyneth to send up something hearty to eat in half an hour? Some bread, water and strong tea to go with it. I'm going to have dinner with my wife up here, only I want to quickly change and wash myself."

  "Very well."

  Thirty minutes later on the dot, Albert brought a fully laden tray into the room and placed it together with plates and cutlery on the table by the fireplace then he withdrew. Robert, whose empty stomach growled loudly from the delicious smell of the roast, filled his plate. He took some potatoes, roast and gravy and a thick slice of freshly baked bread, cut it all into bite-sized pieces and sat down next to Moira, whom he had bedded in a sitting position against the headboard of the bed. Apathetically she sat there and that frightened him mightily, because apart from the two sentences, she had not spoken to him or otherwise shown a reaction. She was awake, following with her eyes what he was doing, but she didn't speak.

  "Come Moira, you must eat something."

  Dutifully like a child, she opened her mouth and he was able to feed her. He pressed a piece of the bread in her hand and brought both to her lips. She bit a small piece, the size a sparrow would eat, from the slice. While Robert took turns eating something himself and then fed Moira again, her spirits seemed to slowly return. He gave her the hot tea sip by sip, which seemed to be good for her, because she seemed to become more lively again. When he was full and Moira had eaten several mouthfuls, he got up to put the empty plate away. He felt her hand on his arm. Surprised by her quick reaction she tried to hold him, and with a croaky voice she cried out, frightened, "Don't go. Don't leave me alone."

  The startled look on his wife's face made him pause.

  "I'll stay tonight."

  Seemingly relieved, she lowered her hand. Robert, however, put the used dishes outside in the hallway and closed the door behind him as he re-entered the room. He undressed and then slipped into bed with Moira, whom he took in his arms. Without another word between them, she snuggled tightly against him and let her head rest on his chest. Robert closed his eyes. The strong feelings that her closeness aroused in him, were not expected. He had thought that he had gotten over her. How could it be that he was still attracted to her? She had lied and betrayed him from the beginning, and yet it felt good to feel her now. Robert had thought that he had freed himself from her in the last few weeks, but many a time he had walked down the hall outside her room and had to force himself not to enter. Now, too, he told himself that he was only here because someone had to watch over her tonight. He realized that Moira must have fallen asleep, because her breaths were regular. His exhaustion, which he had felt when he came home was now taking its toll, Robert's eyes also fell closed and he fell asleep.

  The next morning Moira awoke and instinctively sought Robert with her hand. But she reached into a void, because the bed next to her was empty. She woke up with a jolt. Had she only dreamed that he had come to her last night and had slept in her bed? Sad that it must have been so, she sank back into the sheets again.The door opened and instead of the servant who always brought her breakfast, Robert appeared, fully dressed with a tray in his hand.

  "I see you are feeling better today. That's good. Here's your breakfast."

  He put it on the table by the fireplace, then turned back to his wife.

  "Why did you do that? I mean the refusal to eat."

  "I can't stand being cooped up here anymore. Please Robert, I want to talk to you."

  "You're not locked up. You can leave the room at any time and stay in the house. Once a day you should go for a walk in the park. I had allowed you to do that. So why?"

  "What difference does it make whether I stay here in the room or in the house. It is and always will be my prison."

  "That's right, and nothing will change."

  Angrily, she hissed at him.

  "How can you do this to me?"

  Robert, whose composure was gradually turning to anger, took a threatening step toward her. The veins on his neck stood out throbbing.

  "You hardly have the right to accuse me of anything. Contrary to what you actually deserve, this is still very nice of me. I am not the one who lied. I'm the idiot who let you deceive me. How could I have fallen for you?"

  Moira tried to speak in a more conciliatory tone. She had to talk to him, but as upset as he was right now, he would only stonewall.

  "Please, let me explain."

  "I don't see what else there is to clarify. You stay here until the child is born and you will be under more

  surveillance from now on. What happened yesterday doesn't happen again. You have a responsibility to our child and you will eat and drink to keep him well. Always remember that the child is keeping you out of prison right now. Do we understand each other?"

  She nodded silently and tried to blink away the tears that were stinging her eyes. As Robert turned away and headed for the door, she launched one last attempt.

  "Please, I beg you, don't go. Let me explain to you that it wasn't like that. Please, Robert."

  He stopped at the door. Without turning to her, he replied in now a completely calm tone, "We'll talk when this is over. First I will take care of Dumfrey, then it's your turn."

  His words sounded like a threat. Harsh and impersonal, and Moira saw her chance fading that he could ever forgive her.

  Chapter 24

  Robert found Samuel with the sheep he was feeding. Four days had passed since he had come from Fort

  Williams and found Moira in her bedroom. He had not seen her since. He had been told, however, that she was eating regularly and also walking in the park again. She complied with his instructions, he could not and would not do more for her at the moment. He had other things on his mind to take care of.

  William had just informed him that the removal was to take place in two days. and that is why he was looking for Samuel.

  "Here we go."

  Samuel placed the trough on the ground and devoted

  himself entirely to Robert.

  "Finally. I was beginning to think he had changed his mind. Do you think you can trust William?"

  "I hope so for his sake. I told the police
commander that he was Dumfrey's spy, but that William has agreed to help us catch the gang. William is lucky that the commander himself is a father of three boys and has accepted my proposal to grant him immunity if he delivers the gang to us. It's his second chance, and I hope for the boy's sake that he doesn't blow it. That's all I can do.“

  „That is more than fair. Anyone else would have had him locked up."

  "The boy is almost a child. I can't put a kid in jail. He's done something stupid, and he'll have a chance, to correct it the night after tomorrow."

  "How do we proceed?"

  Robert briefly explained to Samuel what he had planned, then he set off to meet the police and inform them so that the hunting would finally be over on the night in question.

  Dressed all in black, with his face soot-blackened , Robert crouched behind a large tree near the estate of Sir Dumfrey and checked his gun for the last time.

  He had his revolver strapped around his hips and now held himself ready for its use. Robert looked around and tried to spot the others in the darkness, but he saw no one. He knew they were there and hoped that everyone knew what they had to do. The police had surrounded the property so that no one could escape, but so far the house was quiet and there was nothing to suggest that a gang of smugglers was up to no good here. Robert checked his pocket watch. It was already late. Where the hell were they? Had they smelled a rat or had William warned them? Then he suddenly heard a horse snort. He ducked even more and saw a little later three carts, on which quite a few men were sitting, coming down the driveway. Off they went. Quietly, he could watch as the carts passed him and drove unimpeded around the house.

  Then they disappeared from his view. He cautiously straightened up and spotted a policeman some distance to his right and Samuel to his left, who was just poking his head out of a bush. He gave them both the sign to approach cautiously and then crept up to within a few meters of the house himself.

  There they waited and listened. From their position they could not see what was going on at the back of the house. There the commander was positioned with his squad and waited to give the signal for the assault. Robert and Samuel had the task of cutting off the escape route from behind. With that they hoped to be able to arrest the gang without a shootout. Robert signaled to the policeman to his right to continue watching the front entrance, while he and Samuel continued to creep around the house. Gradually, both could hear barrels being rolled across the ground in the distance and loaded onto the carts with great effort. When they had progressed so far that they were squatting in a bush at the corner of the house, Robert peered cautiously around the corner and saw the crooks with the carts ahead of him. Several barrels had already been loaded. The smugglers formed a human chain to get the removal done as quickly as possible. If he hadn't miscounted, there were twenty men there. The police had arrived with twenty-five men and with the two of them they outnumbered the thieves. He saw William standing in the cellar hole and passing the barrels to the next man, but nowhere did he see Dumfrey. Where was that son of a bitch?