Kiss To Conquer (Blairwood University #1)

by Anna B. Doe

  She’s not getting away that easily this time. Not if I have a say in it.

  Clearing my throat, I look at the audience. I’ve never been one for public speaking. Playing football before thousands of fans? No problem at all. Speaking in front of a small group of people? Yeah, I’ll pass. But with time I had to get used to it, so it didn’t stress me as much as it used to.

  “With so many accomplished athletes attending Blairwood, it completely blows my mind that I get to be the one to stand on this stage tonight. Football is a team sport and I’m the lucky one to get to be on the team with so many amazing players and staff. Thank you so much for your continued support. This is not just a reflection of my accomplishment, but our accomplishment as a team. Now.” I turn to the side, my eyes zeroing on Callie. “If you’ll excuse me, I have a different prize to claim.” Light chuckles spread through the room. “Thank you once again!”

  With that, I leave the podium with Callie in tow.

  “Hayden!” Callie hisses softly. She’s trying to tug her hand out of my grasp, but I’m not letting go. Pulling her to my side, I wrap my arm around her, lips pressed against her ear. “We can do this the easy or the hard way. It’s up to you, Callie. But make no mistake, one way or the other, you’re leaving this stage with me.”

  “Hayden.” Her throat bobs as she gulps down. “You have…”

  “Which one will it be, angel?” I stop her from finishing her sentence.

  Callie looks around and probably notices the audience we have because she gives in fairly easily.

  “Fine,” she mutters unhappily.

  I flash her a grin. “I knew you’d see it my way.”

  “Careful,” she warns through gritted teeth, a fake smile plastered on her face. “I’m not opposed to kneeing you in the balls.”

  I chuckle for the first time in what feels like forever. “I think I’ll take my chances.”

  Together we climb down the stairs as the dean continues with his announcements. People are giving us curious looks as we pass by, trying to figure out what’s going on. My guys are still cheering, albeit silently, that is until Coach joins the group, slapping Nixon and Emmett over the heads in warning.

  Shaking my head at them, I continue until we’re out in the hallway, away from anybody who can overhear us.

  “You can let me go now.”

  Chapter Fifty-Six

  CALLIE

  “You can let me go now,” I protest as soon as we’re outside.

  I don’t expect him to listen, especially not on the first try, so I’m surprised when he actually stops in his tracks and quickly turns to face me. I stumble into him, my fingers spreading on his chest, searching for balance.

  Dammit!

  His hands fall on my shoulders to steady me. The skin-to-skin contact burns my flesh and makes me shiver at the same time.

  I suck in a breath, but it does nothing to slow down my pounding heart. Lifting my gaze, I look into Hayden’s green eyes. It feels like forever since I’ve last seen his face. Determination is etched into every inch of him, but there is a softness in his eyes that makes me melt from the inside out. My fingers itch to reach out to him and touch his cheek. To feel a connection with him that I didn’t even realize how much I’ve been missing until this very moment.

  How I missed him.

  Hayden.

  “Callie.” His voice is a rough caress and all I can do is close my eyes, soaking it all in. Him. Me. Us. This moment. Everything.

  It’s all too much, but not enough at the same time. And it hurts, dammit. My body craves his like nothing else in this world.

  “I can’t do this,” I whisper softly.

  Weak. So freaking weak.

  Hayden cups my cheeks, his forehead pressing against mine. Even though I refuse to look at him, I can feel him. Desperation and determination are oozing off him in waves and pouring into me, cracking my walls one by one. “Well, I can’t keep going on like this, Callie.”

  “Hayden,” I try again, but he stops me with a simple shake of his head.

  “I’m not letting you go until we talk. I can’t. You mean too much…”

  “Don’t,” I plead, not sure I can hear it. No, I’m sure I cannot hear it. Not now, not ever. Because if I do, what little resolve I have will vanish. And then what?

  Conquer your demons. Yasmin’s voice rings in my head, loud and clear. Choose to be happy.

  She made it sound so easy when it’s anything but. How can they not see it?

  “Don’t what Callie?” Hayden asks desperately, his fingers digging into my hair, forcing me to open my eyes and look at him. “Don’t be honest? Don’t say the truth? Well, fuck it angel because I’m not hiding it any longer. I love you.”

  I love you.

  “Hayden,” I breathe, unable to form words. My heart squeezes painfully. Longing. That’s what it is, this feeling that’s overwhelming me and making it hard to breathe. Hard to think.

  “I love you, Callie,” he repeats with more determination than before. His fingers brushing over my cheekbone. “There might be a lot of uncertainties in my life, but not you. Never you. If I was sure of anything in my life, it was the way you make me feel. I can’t change who I am, angel. I can’t change who my father is or what he’s done as much as I can’t change the way I feel about you.”

  I shake my head, trying to deny his words, but I can’t. Not when I can see them written all over his face. I grip my fingers, the soft material of his button-down crumpling. His heartbeat is strong and steady underneath my palm, making my own beat match his.

  “Tell me you don’t feel the same. Tell me it’s all in my head, one-sided, and I’ll let you go right this second. Tell me you don’t want me the way I want you. Tell me, Callie. Tell me.” There is an edge to him that hasn’t been there before. Desperation I know all too well. “Tell me it’s all me and I’ll back the fuck off. It’ll hurt like hell, but I’ll do it.”

  I want to. God, how I want to. I open my mouth, the denial on the tip of my tongue, but no matter how many times I try to form them, the words don’t want to come out. At least not the words he wants me to say.

  Licking my dry lips, I try again. “We can’t.”

  The words come out so weak, I don’t even believe myself.

  “Why the hell not? Give me one reason—one—why this is a bad idea.”

  “How do you expect this to work? It can’t. We were never supposed to happen. Not back then and definitely not now. Even trying was foolish. We were doomed from the very start.”

  “We’re not doomed,” Hayden says forcefully, his grip tightening to the point of pain. “We can create our own life, our own destiny, but I need you to be with me. I need you to fight. Fight for you, for me, for us. Can you do that? Or better yet, do you want to? Do you want to fight for us, Callie? Because I need you to choose me.”

  Hayden’s so close our lips brush together as we speak. My mouth trembles, aching with need to feel him against me.

  “I…” My mind and heart are fighting for the right answer. If there even is one. The indecision my worst enemy. I want to believe in Hayden, in us, the same way he does but…

  Choose to be happy.

  I want to. Oh, how I want to. I want to do that so bad it hurts. I want to be happy and carefree. I want to be with the man I love without constantly feeling guilty about it, but…

  “I’m not sure I’m strong enough,” I confess, one lone tear slipping down my cheek.

  “You’re stronger than you realize, Callie. But even if you weren’t, you’re not alone in this. We’ll do this. Together.”

  His lips kiss the tear away, thumb swiping over my cheek.

  Even when I’m denying him, he takes care of me. Even when I push him away, he doesn’t give up, chasing after me instead.

  “Callie…” he calls softly, his voice breaking.

  Breaking me.

  “Okay.” My voice is so low I can barely hear my own words. Licking my lips, I face him and repeat louder,
“Okay. Together.”

  HAYDEN

  My heart feels like it’ll rip out of my chest by the time she finally, fucking-finally, lifts those dark blues to me and says, “Together.”

  This time there is no mistaking her words, her agreement, but I ask anyway, wanting to, no, needing to be sure. “Together?”

  “Together. I’m…” she starts, but my mouth lands on hers, swallowing whatever she wanted to say with a hard kiss.

  Her fingers tighten on the material of my shirt, holding on for dear life, nails digging into my skin will surely leave half-moon marks.

  My hands slide down to her waist, and pull her closer, our bodies flush against one another, as my tongue swipes into her mouth. She moans softly as our tongues touch with desperate need.

  I missed this, missed her, so fucking much and now I can’t get enough of her.

  We kiss over, and over. It’s desperate, needy, and downright sloppy—our tongues swiping and swirling, teeth scraping in need for dominance just like that first time—but it doesn’t matter because it’s Callie. She’s in my arms, mine, and there is no way I’m letting go. Only when I think I’ll faint from lack of oxygen, do I reluctantly break away with one last swipe of my tongue over her lower lip.

  Prying my eyes open, I look at her. All hazy eyes, flushed cheeks, and plump, raw lips.

  “Fuck.” I swipe my thumb over her lower lip. “I missed this sweet mouth.”

  “I missed you,” she whispers, looking away like she’s ashamed of her admission.

  Fuck that.

  I tip her chin back to me, unwilling to let her hide again.

  The last couple of weeks have been torture I wasn’t planning on repeating anytime soon. I want her. All of her, not just bits and pieces.

  “I missed you too. I don’t want to go through this again. I meant every word I said, Callie. I’ve been in love with you forever, and this time I’m not letting go.”

  “I choose you, Hayden.” She covers my hand with hers, lacing our fingers. “I don’t want to let you go. It’s scary. The way you make me feel…”

  “It’s okay if you don’t feel the same as I do, but…”

  She presses her fingers against my mouth, stopping me from finishing my sentence. “That’s the thing. I tried to resist it, tried to tell myself it’s all just in my mind, but somewhere on the way, I’ve fallen for you too.”

  I can’t help the grin that spreads over my face.

  “Angel, I…” I want to say something, anything, but no words come to my mind. So instead I show her.

  Tilting her head back, I kiss her, slow and deep. The kind of soul-crushing kiss that etches into your marrow.

  “I love you,” I breathe between the kisses. “Don’t walk away like that. Not ever again.”

  Kiss.

  “I won’t.”

  Kiss.

  “Promise me,” I demand. I’m not settling for anything less.

  Kiss.

  “I promise.” Her fingers tangle in my hair. “No more past getting between us. I love my parents and I’ll always hate how things turned out that day—”

  “It was never your fault,” I interrupt her, needing her to understand.

  A sad smile curls those luscious lips. “A part of me knows that, but the other part can’t let go of the guilt. I’m working on it, though. I’m working on me and learning how to deal with my grief. The point is, they’re gone and there isn’t getting them back, but you? You’re here. You make me feel alive, happy, whole. That day… it robbed me of a lot of things, I won’t let it rob me of you too.”

  “Callie…”

  She moves closer, her forehead pressing against my chin. “I’m in love with you too, Hayden Watson. Maybe it’ll take some time for you to realize it, but I’m ready to do all it takes to make you believe I’m serious.”

  “All?”

  Pulling back, she grazes her lips with her teeth, making it even rosier than before. “All.”

  “You can start by kissing me.”

  Callie rolls her eyes but does as asked. Lifting on her toes, she presses her lips against mine. It starts slow and tender but soon becomes more. A kiss that conquers my soul.

  Epilogue

  CALLIE

  I knock on the door before turning the doorknob. It’s open, per usual, but I still try to give a warning that I’ll be coming in. You can never be sure in which state these guys will be in, and I wasn’t risking seeing something I shouldn’t have just because I was too lazy to lift my hand. Yup, not happening.

  “Hey, it’s me,” I shout to nobody in particular as I enter inside, toeing off my shoes in the foyer and shrugging off my coat.

  Hayden’s car is parked in front of the house, and their duffle bags are tossed by the stairs, so they must have come home from practice.

  Footsteps rush down the stairs, and all six-foot-three-inches of my delicious boyfriend stomp down. His hair is still wet and he’s wearing sweats that hang low on his hips and make my mouth water.

  “Hey, angel.” Hayden smiles as he sees me and goes straight for my mouth, kissing me like he hasn’t seen me for a month. “Didn’t expect you here just yet.”

  I pull away, slightly breathless. It takes me a second to register his words and give him a reply, it’s always like that after he kisses me. “Yasmin gave me a ride back to campus. She had somewhere to be.”

  “How was the class?”

  “Good actually! The kids seemed pretty excited.”

  As soon as we returned back from the Christmas holidays, I stopped by Bright Haven to apply for a volunteer position. I talked a little bit with the manager of the community center and we decided I’ll be helping with the art class two times a week. Art was my saving grace after the accident and I showed a part of that to the kids who needed it the most. And while I have yet to declare my major, I decided to take more art classes this semester. I’ll never become a professional dancer, but I planned to find comfort in other forms of art.

  “I’m really proud of you for doing this.”

  Hayden throws his arm around my shoulder, pulling me into his side as we go to the living room.

  “It’s nothing special.”

  “I’m not sure those kids would agree.”

  I duck my head, heat warming my cheeks. He must see my embarrassment because he drops the subject.

  “You hungry?”

  I purse my lips to think. “I could eat.”

  “Great.” Hayden pecks my lips. “How about I pop Grams’s lasagna into the oven?”

  “Mhmmm.” My mouth waters at the mere thought. Hayden’s grandma is the best cook ever. I swear I gained at least ten pounds during the winter break—yes, Hayden insisted that once again I tag along with him and Zane instead of staying in a hotel room—but since everything was so tasty I couldn’t say no. It would be impolite, right? “You know I can’t say no to Grams’s cooking.”

  Hayden chuckles.

  “What?” I glare at him.

  “Nothing.”

  “It doesn’t sound like nothing.”

  He leans in and whispers conspiratorially, “You look like you’re about to come.”

  My mouth falls open in surprise, cheeks burning. “I do not,” I protest, smacking his shoulder.

  “You so do,” he chuckles some more, trying to avoid my next smack. “Maybe if you’re a good girl, I’ll give you more than food,” he winks at me.

  My body heats and this time it has nothing to do with good food, still I try to play it cool. Hayden has too big of an ego as it is. There is no need to add more to it. “Nothing beats Grams’s lasagna.”

  “Ohh, we’ll see about that.” The mischievous glint in his green irises makes me shudder in anticipation. It hasn’t been a day, but I want him so badly. “I’ll make you come so hard the whole neighborhood will know my name.”

  “Promises, promises,” I sing-song playfully, shove him away, and plop my ass down on the couch because if I don’t put some distance between us I’ll climb him
and the dinner will be just a memory. “You can start with feeding me some real food though.”

  He shakes his head. “Sometimes I think the only reason you date me is for Grams’s cooking.”

  “It’s definitely a plus. Now, shoo if you don’t want me to pass into the hangry category.”

  “Yes, ma’am!” He salutes me teasingly, walking around the couch. I follow him with my gaze, and before he leaves, he tips my head back and kisses me upside down. His lips firmly pressed against mine as his tongue dives into my mouth, showing me what exactly he wants to do to the other parts of my body.

  “We seriously need to establish some ground rules,” Nixon complains loudly.

  Hayden breaks our kiss but doesn’t look away. His voice is all husky when he asks, “Like what?”

  “Like no sexssing in the common rooms.”

  “Sexssing?” I ask, confused by where he’s going with this. With Nix, you can never be sure.

  “Yes, sexssing. You know kissing that will most definitely lead toward you guys ripping each other’s clothes off. I don’t need to see that shit.”

  “Then don’t look,” Hayden shrugs, straightening to his full height. “Anyway, I’ll pop Grams’s lasagna in the oven if you want to eat with us.”

  Nixon’s loud groan makes me giggle as I turn on the TV.

  “That’s not even a question.”

  “Sounds good, man.”

  Getting comfy on the couch, I surf through channels and finally settle on Game of Thrones. The guys couldn’t believe I hadn’t watched it, so they sat me down one evening and we binged through half of season one by the time I fell asleep.

  “Shit!” Nix’s loud curse has me looking over the couch at his bent form.

  “Are you okay?” I call out just as Hayden gets out of the kitchen.

  “I won’t be. I totally forgot to give this back to Coach.” Nix lifts a CD in the air.

  “Dude, he’ll kill you!”

  “I know, I totally spaced out! I made a copy for myself and then I forgot to give it back.” He rubs the back of his neck in frustration.