Witch is How The Tables Turned

by Adele Abbott

  Splash!

  I sat up in bed. What a horrible dream!

  Splash, splash, splash.

  Huh? How come I could still hear the sound of the water? Was this one of those awful dreams where you think you’ve woken up, but you’re actually still asleep?

  Splash, splash, splash.

  It wasn’t a dream; the sound was coming from outside.

  I staggered out of bed and across to the window. There, in next door’s hot tub, was Mr Ivers and Cheesy, the young man from the toll bridge. They were taking it in turns to water-bomb one another.

  Great! So much for getting a few hours’ sleep before I went on the nightshift.

  When Jack arrived home, I was in the kitchen, nursing a cup of coffee.

  “I thought you were going to get some sleep before you went undercover tonight?” He gave me a peck on the forehead.

  “That hot tub has to go!”

  Chapter 11

  I wasn’t exactly feeling on top form when I reported for duty at Chambers Precision Plastics. Even though I wasn’t firing on all cylinders, I did look very sharp. I hadn’t been sure what a productivity consultant would wear, so I’d settled on a black suit, and had put my hair in a bun.

  “Mrs Maxwell? I’m Luke Wells, the nightshift manager.”

  “Pleased to meet you, Mr Wells.” I figured a production consultant wouldn’t go in for the informality of first names immediately.

  “Mr Chambers has instructed me to make myself available to you, so if there’s anything you need, or if you have any questions, I’m at your disposal.”

  “Thank you, Mr Wells. I’d like to start with a tour of the factory if you could arrange for someone to accompany me.”

  “I’ll be glad to show you around. Shall we start with goods inwards and work our way from there?”

  “Excellent. Please lead the way.”

  Luke Wells was both knowledgeable and amenable; nothing seemed to be too much trouble for him. He walked me through the various departments within the factory, taking time to explain what all the machines did. He might as well have been speaking Chinese for all the sense it made to me, but I made encouraging sounds, and scribbled nonsensical notes on my clipboard.

  It took almost an hour to complete the circuit, and by the time we’d finished, I’d definitely warmed to my guide.

  “Would you like to come up to my office for a drink, Mrs Maxwell? I can offer you tea, coffee or hot chocolate.”

  “Please call me Jill. And a hot chocolate would be most welcome.”

  His office was located on a narrow mezzanine floor, which overlooked the main shop floor.

  “There you go.” He passed my drink.

  “Thanks. Have you worked here long, Mr Wells?”

  “Luke, please. Just under ten years now. I started down there and worked my way up through the ranks.”

  “Working the nightshift can’t be fun. It must ruin your social life.”

  “I really don’t mind. I still get to see my friends at the weekends. Plus, I’m saving for a new car, and the money on the nightshift is much better.”

  “Even so. There must be a limit to how long you can continue to do it?”

  “If I ever do get fed up, Graham will swap with me in an instant.”

  “Graham?”

  “Graham Tyson. He’s the manager in charge of the dayshift. He’s always trying to persuade me to swap.”

  “Mr Chambers speaks very highly of you.”

  “He’s a great boss and a good man. That makes what’s happened all the more difficult to swallow. I feel as though I’m letting him down.”

  “How would you characterise the problems you’ve been experiencing?”

  “That’s just it. Normally when problems arise, it’s easy to diagnose and rectify them, but recently they’ve been striking for no apparent reason.”

  “I don’t really follow.”

  “I’m not surprised. I don’t understand it myself. Typically, what happens is that a machine will simply shut down mid-operation, as though someone has pulled the plug. If it was always the same machine, I’d say there was some underlying fault, but it can happen to multiple machines on the same shift. One machine will switch off and then, five minutes later, another will do the same thing. That can continue for hours at a time. As you can imagine, the effect on production can be devastating.”

  “Would you say it’s a disruption that causes a catastrophic reduction in production?”

  “Absolutely.”

  “Mr Chambers told me that there have been no such problems on the dayshift.”

  “I know.” He sighed. “That makes it even worse. I’ll be honest, Jill, I’m beginning to doubt my own abilities.” He managed a smile. “Maybe I should go back to school and do what my father wanted.”

  “What was that?”

  “He was a very successful lawyer with his own practice. He wanted me to follow him into the profession, but it never appealed to me.”

  “I’m sure these problems will soon pass. Anyway, thanks for the drink. I’ll get back down to the shop floor now.”

  “Okay. If you need anything, let me know.”

  The remaining hours dragged by as I wandered around, pretending to make notes on my clipboard. By the time the shift ended, I was terminally bored, and there had been no incidents.

  ***

  I considered going home to get a little sleep, but despite being up all night, I didn’t feel the least bit tired. It would no doubt hit me later.

  I was one of the first customers in Coffee Games where the game of the day was Trivial Pursuit.

  “Would you like one of these?” The young man behind the counter pointed to a pile of the board games.

  “No, thanks. I’ll just take the coffee and toast.”

  I’d no sooner got my drink than I heard someone call my name.

  “Jill! Over here!” My heart sank when I saw who it was: Mr Hosey. “Come and join me.”

  What had I done to deserve this?

  “Morning, Mr Hosey.”

  “I must say you’re looking very smart this morning, Jill.”

  “Thank you.”

  “Where’s your badge?”

  “Sorry?”

  “The Re-elect Hosey badge I left with you?”

  “Oh right. It’s on my other jacket,” I lied. “I must have forgotten to swap it over. You’re in town early this morning, aren’t you?”

  “I always am on Trivial Pursuit day.” He had the game laid out on the table in front of him.

  “You’re a fan, then?” Like I cared.

  “The biggest. And, although I do say so myself, you’d have to go a long way to find a better player.”

  “Right.”

  “Would you care for a game?”

  “No thanks. I’ve been up all night, so I’m not exactly at my best.”

  “I understand. I’m glad I’ve seen you anyway because I have big news to share.”

  “About the neighbourhood watch election?”

  “No, even more exciting than that.”

  Was that possible? “What’s that?”

  “Did you know I have a model train collection?”

  Did I know? Shortly after we moved in, Jack and I had been subjected to the torture of having to view his stupid train collection. “Yes, Jack and I came around to see it. Don’t you remember?”

  “I have so many visitors that I lose track.”

  “Nice pun.”

  “Sorry?”

  “You just said that you lose track.” I grinned.

  “So I did.” He laughed that laugh of his that made me want to take him by the throat and throttle the life out of him.

  What do you mean, overreaction?

  “I really should be going, Mr Hosey.” See how I avoided saying making tracks? I didn’t want to induce further Hosey merriment.

  “But I haven’t told you my news yet.”

  “You’ll have to be quick. I have an early morning meeting.”

&n
bsp; “I hope you’re ready because this is going to blow your socks off.”

  “Go ahead.”

  “I’m going to attempt to set a world record for the longest outdoor model railway track.”

  “How very interesting.” Yawn.

  “It’s been several years in the planning, so you’ll understand my excitement.”

  “Absolutely.” Yawn squared.

  “I will of course need the permission of my neighbours, and those in the surrounding streets. Do you have any objections?”

  “To you trying to break the world record? Why would I?” If it kept him away from me, I was more than happy to give him my blessing. “Go ahead. Knock yourself out.”

  “Thank you so very much.”

  “I must be going now.”

  “Are you sure you wouldn’t like a quick game before you go?”

  “I’d love to, but I must get to my meeting.”

  My sense of relief at my escape was short-lived.

  “Jill! Over here!” Betty Longbottom was waving frantically.

  It was with a heavy heart that I walked across the road. “Morning, Betty.”

  “You haven’t forgotten, have you?”

  “Forgotten? I—err—?”

  “The grand opening today.”

  “Of course not, but I am rather busy at the moment, so I may not—”

  “I’ve ordered Maxitaste blueberry muffins, especially for you.”

  “Maxitaste?” They were the king of muffins, but they were also ridiculously expensive. Normally, I only splashed out on them at Christmas or for my birthday.

  “Blueberry is your favourite, isn’t it?”

  “It certainly is.”

  “Make sure you get here at nine, and I’ll put one aside for you.”

  “One?”

  “Okay, two.”

  “I don’t suppose I could take them with me now, could I?”

  “They haven’t been delivered yet. I’m really excited about the show. I watched the mermaids practising yesterday, and I have to say you’re in for a real treat. Anyway, I’d better get back inside. There’s lots still to do. See you later.”

  Drat. I’d planned to give the grand opening a wide berth, but how could I turn my nose up at Maxitaste muffins?

  What? Come on, I’d worked through the night. It was the very least I deserved.

  ***

  Mrs V wasn’t in the office, but then it wasn’t yet eight o’clock.

  “What’s with the suit and the hair?” Winky stretched and yawned.

  “I’ve been working undercover.”

  “What as? An undertaker?”

  “Never mind that.” I’d spotted something on my desk. “Why did you open that tin of salmon? More to the point, how did you open it?”

  “I used magic.”

  “You did what?” Was Winky some kind of cat wizard, and I’d never realised it? “Really?”

  “Or maybe I used this.” He held up a tin opener. “And for your information, whatever is in that tin, it certainly isn’t salmon. It’s horrible.”

  The tin was still practically full. “Are you sure it isn’t salmon?”

  “I think I’d know.”

  It was true. If anyone ought to be an expert when it came to salmon, it was Winky. I took a quick sniff. “It smells like salmon. Maybe it’s some kind of budget brand.”

  “Don’t go getting any ideas. If you start serving me that muck, I may be forced to move out.”

  “Is that a promise? Anyway, if you can use a tin opener, how come you haven’t helped yourself to your own salmon before now?”

  “Because that would break the bond of trust that exists between you and me.”

  I considered what he’d said for all of five seconds before rejecting it out of hand. “It’s because you can’t reach the cupboard where I keep it, isn’t it?”

  “That may have something to do with it too.”

  During the nightshift at the plastics factory, I’d had time to think about the situation with Kathy’s new shop and Macabre’s attempt to blackmail me, and I’d come up with what I could only describe as an ingenious plan.

  “Is that Mr Macabre?” I said in my best high-flying CEO voice.

  “Speaking.”

  “My name is Corinne Cathway. I’m CEO of GoRed. You’ve no doubt heard of us?”

  “I—err—”

  “We’re one of the fastest growing companies in the UK. The thing is, we’re looking for offices in Washbridge, and I happened to be up here on other business when I saw your to-let sign.”

  “I have a number of properties. Which one was it?”

  “I’m not sure of the exact address, but it’s off the high street. There’s a sign on the building that says Escape.”

  “I know the one you mean; it’s only recently come on the market.”

  “Excellent. I’m busy today and over the weekend, but I could view it on Monday before I go back to London if that works for you?”

  “Absolutely.”

  “Can we say two o’clock?”

  “That’s fine.”

  “In that case, why don’t I meet you in front of the building at two.”

  “I’ll look forward to it, Mrs—err?”

  “It’s Ms, but you can call me Corinne.”

  ***

  It had just turned a quarter to nine when Mrs V arrived. We met on the stairs as I was on my way out.

  “Morning, Jill. Are you off home?”

  “No, I’m going to see the grand opening of The Sea’s The Limit. Do you want to come with me?”

  “Not after what happened last time. I still have nightmares about that tank cracking. Aren’t you tired? I thought you were working undercover last night?”

  “I did, but I seem to have got my second wind. I’ll see how I feel after the grand opening is over.”

  “You’re a good friend, supporting Betty like this. Not many people would do that after they’d been working all night.”

  “That’s what friends are for.”

  There was already the making of a crowd outside the building when I arrived, but when the doors opened at nine, I still managed to get a seat close to the front.

  I was feeling really excited.

  No, not about the marine centre—who cares about a few fish? I could almost taste those muffins. Now, where was Betty and my Maxitaste delights?

  Fifteen minutes later, when the show was about to begin, there was still no sign of her. All the seats had been taken and the doors had been closed. I was beginning to think that I’d been brought there under false pretences when I spotted Betty, standing to one side of the huge tank.

  “Betty!” I waved to get her attention.

  “I’m glad you could make it, Jill. You managed to get a good seat, I see.”

  “Yes. Where are the M—?”

  “Mermaids? They’ll be starting their act any moment now.”

  “I was going to say the Maxitaste muffins.”

  “I’m afraid the supplier has let us down. The muffins are a no-show.” Just then, the music started up. “Sorry, Jill, I have to dash. Enjoy the show.”

  How was I supposed to enjoy the show without my muffins?

  I was trying to figure out how best to make my exit when the crowd rose as one, and began to cheer. Maybe the muffins had arrived after all. But no. They were cheering for the mermaids who had appeared on a platform at the top of the huge tank.

  I was trapped; it was too late to escape now.

  Don’t get me wrong, the mermaids’ act was quite spectacular. The way they moved through the water was amazing, and how they managed to hold their breath for such long periods of time was truly astounding. But all I could think of was the muffins.

  Towards the end of the show, when one of the mermaids came close to the side of the tank where I was seated, I realised that I’d seen her before somewhere. It took me a few minutes to work out where, but then it came to me. It was the witch who had stopped me from going into the meeting
of the Salmon Association. I’d assumed the synchronised swimming group would be made up only of humans, but it seemed they had at least one sup in their ranks.

  Maybe this wouldn’t turn out to be a complete waste of time after all. If I could grab a few words with her, I might discover more about what went on inside that cult, association or whatever it was.

  When the performance had finished, the mermaids all swam to the surface, and took their bows to a most enthusiastic audience. Meanwhile, I sneaked around the back of the tank and made my way up the steps to the platform.

  “Excuse me!” I shouted to the mermaid I’d recognised.

  “What are you doing up here? No one is allowed on the platform.” She was obviously delighted to see me.

  “I’d like a quick word.”

  “Get lost!” She lifted her tail out of the water and then brought it down hard, splashing me from head to toe.

  I was still wiping the water from my eyes when I heard her say something to the other mermaids. The next thing I knew, they were all splashing me with their tails. Soaked to the skin, I was forced to retreat back down the steps. The audience were in hysterics; they obviously thought this was part of the act.

  I rushed out of the building and back up the street to my offices.

  “Don’t tell me the tank broke again, Jill?” Mrs V looked horrified when I dripped my way into the office. “Someone should report them to Health and Safety.”

  “It didn’t break. I—err—had a bit of an accident.”

  “Can I get you anything?”

  “A towel would be great.”

  “I’ll nip out and get one.”

  “Thanks, Mrs V.”

  “What happened to you?” Winky laughed.

  “I was attacked by mermaids.”

  “See, this is what happens when you’re sleep deprived. You start to hallucinate.”

  Chapter 12

  After I’d dried off and changed into the set of clothes I kept at work for eventualities such as this, I started to feel the after-effects of being up all night.

  “If you’d like one of these.” Winky held up a cat clock. “You’d better get your order in quick because they’re going like hot cakes.”