[2016] Finding My Cowboy

by Christian Michael

  Shona stopped, holding Calvin back. He looked down at her with curiosity in his eyes. “What is it?”

  “You go ahead. I’ll wait here.”

  He frowned. “Shona, I—”

  “Shh,” she said, placing a hand on his chest as she stepped close to him, her boldness returning. “He needs to hear from you.”

  “I’m sorry,” Calvin said, a pained expression on his face. “For not talking with you. For—”

  “It’s all right. You’ve had a lot to process.”

  “I care about you,” he said, his voice raspy.

  It was the last thing she’d expected him to say, and yet somehow it felt right to hear the truth from him in that moment.

  “We can talk about it later, but your son needs you now.”

  He nodded, placing a quick kiss on her cheek before he went to sit down by Levi.

  ***

  “Hello, son,” Calvin said, sitting down next to the boy.

  Levi, shivering with his arms wrapped around himself, didn’t look up, but Calvin could see the tears running down his cheeks. He reached around and wrapped his arm around the boy, sheltering him against the cold.

  “We were scared when we couldn’t find you.”

  The little boy sniffed, running a hand across his nose, but he didn’t look up.

  Calvin tried again, “I’m sorry, Levi. I’ve been working too much and…” What else could he say? He’d been a terrible father. He hadn’t encouraged his son and then he’d let his feelings for Shona cause him to step back but not just from her, from the boy as well.

  “I have to admit something to you.” Calvin swallowed and looked out over the frigid river, feeling rather than seeing his sons gaze turn toward him. “When your mother died I wasn’t sure what to do. I’d loved her, but I’d been so busy it was like I’d forgotten what life looked like…before. I'm afraid I haven’t made it easy on you and for that I’m truly sorry. I want to do better. Would you forgive me?”

  He looked down and met his son’s vibrant blue eyes shimmering with tears. “Really?”

  “Yes. I was wrong.”

  “I know you’re important,” he said, wiping his tears away. “I just miss you.”

  “I miss you too,” he said, pulling the boy close and cherishing the feeling of him in his arms. How long had it been since he’d held his son like this?

  “Dad?” Levi’s voice was muffled against his father’s chest.

  “What is it?”

  “I like Miss Shona. I think you like her too.” He pulled back to look up at Calvin. “I saw you kiss her,” he made a face but continued, “and…and I think you should love her.”

  Calvin tried not to smile too broadly at his son’s kind words, but he couldn’t deny the warmth that spread through his chest at them.

  “You think so?”

  “Yeah,” he nodded. “She likes frogs. So that’s good.”

  Now Calvin did laugh, pulling Levi close. Tears filled his eyes but they were tears of happiness.

  Chapter 6

  Calvin and Levi walked back toward where Shona stood, Calvin’s arm draped around his son and happiness on both of their faces. Her heart filled with hope at the sight and she prayed that God would continue to mend their relationship.

  “Miss Shona,” Levi said, when they reached her and she wrapped his coat around his shoulders.

  “Yes, Levi?”

  “I'm sorry for running away.”

  “It’s all right, just don’t do that again—you gave me a fright!”

  “I won’t,” he said. Then he reached up and took her hand.

  The three of them walked back to the house and, once Levi had eaten, was given a warm bath, and put to bed, Shona came downstairs to sit by the fire. She was surprised to see Calvin already sitting there, staring into the flames.

  “Calvin?”

  He looked up and a smile transformed his features illuminated by the flickering flames. “Come sit with me?”

  She obliged and joined him on the small couch wondering what he would say. His words from earlier came back to her.

  I care for you.

  Did he mean it?

  “Shona,” he finally said, turning to look at her, his eyes steel gray in the low light. “Levi said something to me today that I wanted to share with you.”

  Her pulse hammered as she wondered what the boy could have said. “What’s that?”

  “He says he thinks I should love you.” Her cheeks flamed even as his lips quirked into a smile. “What do you think about that?”

  Usually bold, her words failed her and she kept her mouth shut, wondering what he would say in her silence.

  “Cat got your tongue?”

  She made a face.

  “I see. So you want me to be bold for once.” He leaned closer to her, his gaze never leaving hers. “I guess I’d say this: I’ve let work rule my life. It’s taken me away from my son and it’s made me into a man I don’t like. A man who is harsh and a man who brings someone to the West under false pretenses.”

  Shona remained quiet, but her heart felt drawn to Calvin. His honesty was refreshing and beautiful.

  “I guess what I'm trying to say is that I do care for you. The way you love my son, the way you aren’t afraid to tell me something in boldness…” he shook his head then reached up to cup her face like he had at the river. “I want to get to know you and, if you are willing, to revisit the first reason I asked you to come out West.”

  Now she laughed, breaking her silence. “You won’t get off that easily, Mr. Wilkes.” He looked surprised but she continued, “Your next marriage proposal must be much more romantic than the first.”

  He grinned and closed the gap to press his lips to hers in a light kiss. “I go above and beyond to show you that I’m a new man, one hopefully worthy of your hand in marriage.”

  Epilogue

  Three months later

  Calvin paced the barn anxiously. He’d been planning this day for weeks now, but would Shona like it? Once he’d made his intentions clear their relationship had changed in the best way. He’d started to leave work early and even miss a day when he knew his hands could take care of the work.

  Spending time with Levi and Shona was the highlight of his life now—he couldn’t fathom how he’d thought work would ever be more important than time with those he cared for. And now it was time to show Shona just how much he cared.

  The door creaked open and a hand stuck his head inside. “They’re coming.”

  Calvin nodded once and faced the door waiting.

  Soon, it opened again and Shona came inside wearing a blindfold, led by Levi.

  “Are we there yet? What is this surprise Levi?”

  He giggled, looking at Calvin who held up a finger to warn him not to give anything away.

  “Are we in the barn? We’ll disrupt your father’s work!” She was laughing along with Levi now despite the fact that she couldn’t see anything.

  When he had her in the right spot, he said, “Okay, Miss Shona, you can take the blindfold off now.”

  She reached up and tugged it free and instantly her eyes were on Calvin. Then she slowly took in the barn surrounding them and she gasped.

  He had spent the afternoon transforming the barn with lanterns and boughs hung all over, creating a warm glow scented with pine. He’d also brought a quilt down and created a picnic in the middle of the barn with extra blankets to ward off the chill.

  “Shona,” Calvin said, stepping forward. The tremor in his hands was unnerving but he pushed past it and knelt before her. “The moment you stepped into our lives I knew you were different. You aren’t afraid to say what you’re thinking and you spoke truth to me.” His voice cracked under the weight of emotion. “I’ve come to love you over these last few months and I want nothing more than to be your husband and for you to be my wife and Levi’s mother. Will you marry me?”

  She was crying now, her hand covering her mouth as she looked between he and Levi.

>   “Say yes,” Levi added in a stage whisper.

  Shona laughed, stepping toward Calvin and reaching for both of his hands. Then, her eyes locked on his, she nodded. “Yes.”

  With her reply, he jolted to his feet and encircled her in a hug, drawing Levi toward them as well. He never could have imagined that the woman he’d practically tricked into moving out West would become the woman he loved and cherished. The woman who he could rely on to speak truth to him. And most importantly, the woman he loved.

  He knew what mattered now, and they were standing within the circle of his embrace. His family. Nothing else could feel more right.

  THE END.

  Hope For A Widow

  Mail Order Bride

  CHRISTIAN MICHAEL

  “I do,” Elle panted, smiling at the man in front of her. Her skin was sticky with sweat, and her beautiful white dress chafed delicate areas of her flesh, but that didn’t stop the feeling of sweet relief to wash over. “I do,” she repeated, unable to help herself.

  Amusement glinted in her new husband’s eyes.

  The church they were in was small and rickety, the floorboards and window frames splintered and faded. There were so many people there to watch her and Duncan Aster get married that these men and women were forced to remain standing while pressing against one another; there were even a few people peeking through the windows outside the church.

  The day was hot and muggy, and the presence of all of these people made the air in the church all the more suffocating.

  Elle knew none of them. These were Duncan’s friends and neighbors, for this was Duncan’s home—Chinnawah, Kansas. She had just gotten off a train from New York City by herself a few days ago. None of her family or friends had followed her, and with any luck, none of them would ever find her.

  “You may now kiss the bride,” the pastor said. He stood before the both of them more like an altar than a person, his arms spread wide and his head held high.

  Duncan leaned forward, and Elle met him the rest of the way. The kiss was brief and gentle, but it made a reassuring warmth shoot through her body. She was finally his wife; she was finally Mrs. Aster. It was as if Eleanor “Elle” Mayweather had faded away in the midst of this rebirth of sorts. Perhaps now she and her unborn child were truly safe.

  The people applauded and cheered, backing away as best as they could so that Elle and Duncan could actually exit the church.

  The pastor said some more words, but Elle couldn’t hear him over the crowd. She just let a grinning Duncan grab her hand and lead her toward the church doors.

  At this point in her pregnancy, Elle merely looked a little round—a little bloated. Thank God Duncan didn’t seem to care. She couldn’t go back to New York if he had turned her down the moment she stepped off that train to meet him, and she didn’t think she could survive in the west with nothing to her name but the clothes on her back, her sack of other items, and the fetus growing inside of her.

  Thank God Duncan hadn’t taken back his proposal—the one he made to her in his last letter to her. She would admit to having basically coerced it out of him. They had only written back and forth to each other a few times, and neither one of them truly knew the other, but Elle didn’t have the time to take things slow. She had had to leave New York City as soon as possible.

  “It’s beautiful here,” she said as they walked back to his—to their home.

  Duncan had a small house on the outskirts of town. It could be seen from the church—out in the dirt-covered valley, the horizon seeming to slice through it from the angle Elle was seeing it at. There were no other homes near this place, nor any barns. It was just a house and its land, and that was just fine with Elle.

  Duncan snorted at her. “You’re being kind.”

  “Obviously,” she said, tightening her grip on his hand as she bumped into him. “I’m a kind person. I can’t be anything but kind.”

  He turned to her and gave her a playful smirk. Though she hadn’t initially cared if Duncan was handsome or not, she had been delighted to discover that he was. He had a strong jaw, piercing blue eyes, and a well-toned body that made her shiver in all kinds of ways. But the best part about him was how easy going he was. He didn’t intimidate her, nor pressure her, and that was what really mattered in the end.

  Thinking of this, Elle glanced over her white dress as they continued to walk. It was getting stained by the orange and brown dirt that blew through the wind, especially around the dress’s bottom trim. However, she wasn’t bothered by it, nor was Duncan. Duncan had given her the dress as a formality, and neither one of them felt too emotionally connected to it. Perhaps if he had courted her the more proper way, she might have felt differently about it. Maybe they both would have.

  They continued on in companionable silence after that. Once they were inside the house, Elle began to unzip and shimmy out of her dress. Being bold wasn’t new to her, but she still felt a tinge of nervousness jitter within her stomach. This was going to be hers and Duncan’s first time, after all.

  Standing in the entryway, Duncan gaped at her. The sunset casted bright orange light through the house’s windows, making the furniture within the home seem to glow with an orange-ish, yellowish hue.

  It was a nice setting, Elle thought as she peeled out of her poofy and stained dress. It relaxed her, even as she mentally prepared herself for her upcoming wedding night.

  “Elle,” Duncan said, his eyes conveying conflicting emotions. “We don’t…I mean, if you’re not ready…”

  In her undergarments now, Elle walked over and grabbed both of his rugged hands. Her heart hammered in her chest as her skin began to seep out more sweat. However, as nervous as she was about all of this, she was even more nervous about not getting this process over with. After all, it was imperative that Duncan believe that the child in her womb was his.

  “Come on, honey,” she whispered, keeping her mouth open a little. She took deep breaths and forced her body not to quiver. “I’ve been waiting so long for you.”

  Duncan still looked unsure. Perhaps he had never been with a woman before; perhaps he was insecure. Or perhaps he was simply trying to look out for her. No matter what the case, Elle recognized that she would have to be gentle and reassuring.

  “I want this,” she said, smiling. “If you want to take this slow, we can take it slow. I won’t bite.”

  He huffed at that, shaking his head. “We’ll take it slow.”

  She nodded, her smile softening.

  He visibly relaxed before nodding in return. “Okay.”

  When she tugged him toward her, he followed and immediately wrapped his arms around her waist. She moved her head upward and kissed him. As promised, she moved slowly against him. It was actually kind of calming, the way they seemed to synch to one another so readily.

  Then their kiss grew hungrier—needier. She moaned, bringing her hands up to claw into his scalp.

  Whatever reservations Duncan had had, they were clearly gone as he pulled and pushed her toward their bedroom.

  ***

  Duncan lived off of his family’s money, unbeknownst to them—or, well, they probably knew by now. Either way, he kept his purchases cheap and his lifestyle manageable, so he hadn’t had to worry too much about finding a job just yet. And at times, he would sell some of his old things or barter with the neighbors, and that worked out fine with him. It had been lonely way to live though. He had enough money to last him years, but no one to share it with. He certainly couldn’t return home, and the people in town were either married or uninterested in someone as closed off and lazy as him.

  Putting an ad for a wife in the paper had been a Hail Mary, and Elle’s response had been a miracle.

  She wasn’t what he thought she would be; she was simple, flexible, undemanding, patient—a lovely woman, through and through. He had some doubts when he first sent his proposal to her, but she had been so eager to leave her city-life behind, and he had grown very curious about what she looked like an
d what she sounded like. He also was tired of his own loneliness, and even a little desperate to make it cease.

  The moment he officially met Elle at the train station, Duncan hadn’t been disappointed. She was beautiful and charming. She had worn a baby blue dress and a dark bonnet, her vibrant eyes somewhere in between those two colors. And she was so straight-forward with him about every little thing—how she felt, what she wanted—and the way she flirted with him…at times, she actually had him blushing and stuttering like a schoolboy.

  He could definitely fall for this woman. And now, a few days after their wedding, life was already better. Sleeping next to her seemed to be giving him pleasant dreams again, and hearing her walk around the house soothed the weariness out of his heart. Air was easier to breathe, despite the fact that the summer was muggy.

  Sitting on the porch’s front steps, Duncan sipped from the glass of ice-cold lemonade Elle had brought out for him. He stared at the distant town with a hazy kind of awareness. The heat made the air warp and jiggle, and he watched it with curiosity while the beverage in his gut cooled him. So content, he thought he might just let himself drift off then and there—fall asleep in an awkward sitting position. Elle would wake him if she needed him. The thought had him smiling.

  As if thinking her name had summoned her, Elle opened the front door and walked toward him. By the time he was turning to regard her, she had already plumped herself down next to him. She clutched his arm with both of her small hands, and he couldn’t help but smile wider in response.

  She looked at him for a moment, her eyes narrowed and her lips pressed together. She didn’t seem perturbed, rather calculating. Before he could ask her what was wrong, her expression broke out into one of pure joy and excitement. “I’m pregnant,” she blurted.