by Molly O'Hare
When she pulled out the treat bag, Rupert started dancing around the room like a dog. That’s right, half of the time Rupert acted like his canine brethren. The first time Abbie thought something was seriously wrong with him, but no. He was just really weird. So weird he could sit on command, and sometimes if he were really begging for some extra praise, he’d even rollover.
She stopped trying to make sense of him a long time ago. It was easier that way.
“Rupert, could you please pretend to be concerned at how bad my day was?”
Rupert meowed before eyeing her left hand holding his scrumptious goodies.
“See.” She rolled her eyes. “You are an asshole.”
He meowed stretching up on his highness legs reaching for his treat bag.
Abbie threw some of the biscuits onto the floor. Good grief.
Once he was happily eating his snacks, she then walked over to her bright purple couch and plopped down with a big dramatic sigh. “Today couldn’t get any worse, could it?” She closed her eyes, hoping the next time she opened them this nightmare would be over.
She should have known better.
“Abbie! I know you’re in there, open up!”
Her head shot to her front door as the familiar baritone voice echoed through her front room. Abbie narrowed her eyes at the ceiling. “Really? It wasn’t a fucking request.”
“I can hear you talking to yourself. Open this damn door, Abbie.”
Who the fuck did he think he was? He didn’t get to waltz back into her life and then make demands.
Fuck that and fuck him.
Abbie hopped onto her feet before stomping over to the door. “What the hell are you gonna do about it if I don’t?”
“Do you really want to play this game right now?” Hunter’s voice bellowed through the door. “You know damn well I’ll kick it down. You wanna try me?”
At his asinine words, a new wave of anger shot through her. Punch him! Screw this. If he wanted to fight, she’d fight. “I’ll fucking murder you first,” she screamed her war cry as she threw open the door, ready to leap into the air.
Too bad, she should have known Hunter would’ve been expecting it. He caught her mid-flight before walking into the house shutting the door behind him with his foot. “You know, I think you have anger issues you need to work through,” he announced strutting into the middle of the room with her in his arms. “Or, maybe you can’t wait to get your hands on me?”
Abbie could hear the smirk in his voice. Just as she was about to lose her absolute mind, Hunter easily tossed her onto his shoulder into a fireman’s pose.
The asshole.
Abbie punched and slapped at his back. “Let me down you, ass-hat. I will call the police! I will call the Coast Guard. I will call the Army. I will call your father! Watch me. Just watch me. Put me down, you ass face!”
With Abbie still on his shoulder, Hunter spun around the room ignoring everything she said. “Nice place. I always had a feeling you’d end up with something like this. It shows your personality. All ten of them.”
That mother fucker. “Let me down now or I will cut off your balls and feed them to you!” she yelled clawing at his back.
“Do you take anything to manage your anger?” he asked nonchalantly. “If you point me in the direction of where you keep your meds, I’ll gladly get a pill for you.”
Was this guy serious?
For a split-second Abbie stopped fighting him as his words registered. “Actually, on second thought, if I were you I’d never put me down. “Cause the moment you do, I’m gonna stab you with the closest object I can find.”
“That could be exciting.” He tossed her higher onto his shoulder as he laughed.
Laughed. The fucker actually laughed. How in the hell was he so fucking amused by this? Was this some sort of game for him?
Well, if it was, Abbie was going to make sure it was a game he was not going to win.
Hunter James was in for a rude awakening and Abbie was about to give it to him.
Sadly, before she could make her next move, she was tossed back through the air until she landed safely on the couch.
Abbie blinked a few times trying to regain any sense of awareness. The moment she fully registered she was out of Hunter’s grasp she lunged at him.
And to absolutely no one’s surprise, within seconds Hunter had her flipped onto her back, completely pinned beneath him… again.
Just like in the office.
“For absolute fuck’s sake!” Abbie tried pulling away from him but failed miserably. How in the ever-loving hell did she keep ending up in this position? Okay, so she knew the answer to that, but she refused to place the blame anywhere but at Hunter.
No matter how childish that seemed. When it came to him, she apparently reverted back to being ten all over again.
“How long am I gonna have to hold you still until you calm down?” He then did the thing that made her lose her last bit of sanity, if she even had any at this point.
He smirked at her.
“A fucking eternity.” She tried her best to push him off, but he wouldn’t budge.
Hunter’s smile widened from ear-to-ear. “Thank god I’ve been putting in extra hours at the gym then.”
“Is that a fat joke?” she growled at him.
For a brief second, panic washed through Hunter’s eyes before he quickly shook it off. “No. If you want to be a baby about this, I’ll keep you pinned under me. Eventually, you’ll give.” To prove his point he pushed her hands over her head, proving to her he indeed had her locked in his grasp. “Sooner or later you’ll give up or you’ll have to go to the bathroom. I can do this all day. The question is, can you?”
Abbie scowled. Of course, he was going to bring that up. Curse her tiny bladder. He’d remembered her one weakness.
The Collin’s bladder. It only held one cup of tea before all hell broke loose.
Asshole.
Her eyes narrowed dangerously at him. “Why are you here, James? Better yet, how the fuck did you even get my address?” Mentally Abbie started scrolling through her coworkers, trying to pinpoint the traitor. She should have never thrown the stupid housewarming party when she bought her first home.
That’s what you get for being proud of your accomplishments and wanting to share them. You get snitches. And snitches deserved stitches…
It was probably Martha in HR. Abbie bet Martha took one look at Hunter and handed him her address, bank cards, and her panties for good measure.
“I asked around,” he answered with amusement in his eyes.
“And someone fucking gave it to you? Does privacy mean nothing to anyone these days?”
Hunter shrugged. “I can be very persuasive when I need to be.”
Abbie pushed at his chest. “Get off me!”
“No.”
She saw red. “I hate you.”
“That’s all fine and dandy. For a while, I hated you too. Let’s move on.”
That shocked her. “What do you mean you hated me? I did absolutely nothing to you. I’m a perfect gem. No one hates me.”
“Typical Abbie.” He shook his head. “If I let you go, do you promise not to kick me in the balls?”
Abbie’s face scrunched. “Hmm, I hadn’t thought of that…”
“Well, don’t think of it now.” Hunter pulled away. “I asked Bill for your address. I told him you were excited to start the project together and you had most of your notes back at your place. And, we were meeting here, but you left without giving me the address.”
“So, it wasn’t Martha?”
“Who’s Martha?”
“No one.” She sat up as she fixed her clothes that had gotten all out of place in their most recent tussle.
Once she felt somewhat presentable, okay presentable flew out the window around tackle two, but good enough she looked at him.
Okay, Abs. Take a deep breath, a long breath. You’ve got this. Always remember: A Collins never surrendered. A Collins n
ever backed down. A Collins never turned down a dare.
Take this one step at a time.
She closed her eyes. Okay, first things first. Hunter was here. In her living room.
In her freaking living room.
No matter how hard she tried she couldn’t fully wrap her head around the sequence of events that led to him actually being here. However, there was only one thing she knew for sure.
She needed a drink.
Deciding it was best to make a drink and then work all this shit out, Abbie stood and walked into her kitchen, ignoring the two-hundred pounds of muscled dick-face sitting on her couch staring at her.
She opened up her special cabinet the second she walked into the kitchen. She wasn’t much of a big drinker, but she always had wine. Then she spotted the bottle of whiskey Ken from accounting had gifted to her at her housewarming party.
Never a better time to start on the hard stuff then when your childhood enemy shows back up into your life.
That sounded completely logical to her.
Quickly, she opened the bottle and took a whiff.
She’d never jumped back so fast in her life. “How does anyone drink this shit?” She blanched as her eyes watered and her nose burned.
“If you don’t drink it, why do you have it?” A voice interrupted her thoughts causing Abbie to nearly jump out of her skin.
She let out an annoyed groan.
How could she have forgotten the bane of her existence was mere feet from her?
Deep breath. All she had to do was ignore him, and he’d go away, right? Sure, it didn’t work in the office, but it was totally going to work now.
See, game plan.
That was all she needed.
That’s all she ever needed. If it was one thing reading taught her, it was to go in with a plan, and you always win. Okay, it normally didn’t go as planned but it always worked out in the end.
Abbie ignored Hunter as she walked over to the sink before pouring the bottle of whiskey down the drain.
She knew what she needed.
Tea.
She needed tea.
A good old piping hot cup of tea.
Tea always made her feel better, even when she was a child. It was something Abbie and her mother bonded over.
Her mother. How in the hell was she going to tell her Hunter showed his demon face again? Abbie closed her eyes with a sigh.
However, she quickly opened them when she felt herself being nudged out of the way as her faucet turned on.
Her jaw nearly hit the floor.
To her complete shock Hunter was at her sink filling her tea kettle.
She blinked a few times as she watched as Hunter turned away from the sink before walking to her stove. He then turned on the burner and placing the kettle on top.
What the fuck?
Was Hunter James also a mind reader now? That was exactly it. Hunter James and his possessed demon self was a mind reader.
Her eyes widened. Oh my god, he can read my mind. Does he know what I’m thinking now? Two plus two is what? Is what, Hunter? Answer me, you weird demon spawn you. I know you can hear me!
Hunter looked her up and down before shaking his head.
Oh my god, did he hear me?
“Grab your cup, then let’s head back to the living room so we can get started.” With that, he left her standing in her kitchen like she’d been slapped.
Once she regained some of her senses, Abbie quickly scanned her tiny nineteen-fifties inspired kitchen trying to piece together what in the hell was happening and what episode of the Twilight Zone had she was on.
Then her eyes seemed to focus on the kettle. How did—
As Abbie made a step toward her stove, she heard a commotion from her living room, followed by a crash.
“Abbie get out here! You have a rat wearing a dress in your house!”
Chapter Six
“Seriously, what the hell is that?” Hunter looked at the creature wearing… wait? Was it wearing a turtleneck sweater? What the fuck? His head was spinning. Dress, sweater, it honestly didn’t matter because: What. The. Fuck?
“Did you just refer to Rupert as a rat?” Abbie came storming around the corner with a cup of hot tea in her hand.
“What’s a Rupert?” he asked eyeing the thing again.
“Rupert is my cat.” Abbie placed her mug on the coffee table and scooped the thing into her arms cooing at it. “Who’s a good boy? Your momma’s good boy, aren’t you?”
“Eww, don’t talk to it like that.” Hunter cringed. “Kill it.”
Abbie’s eyes narrowed as her lips thinned. “The only thing in jeopardy of dying here is you,” she huffed. “Plus, don’t be rude. It upsets him.”
Hunter’s nose wrinkled. “Looking at it upsets me.”
Abbie pointed toward the door. “There’s the exit. Let the door hit you in the ass on the way out.”
“Still so violent.” He looked at the thing in her arms once again. “Seriously, though. That’s a cat?” He didn’t believe her. An oversized ballsack maybe? But a cat, no.
Abbie scratched under its chin. “Yes, Rupert is my Sphynx kitty. Or hairless kitty, whatever you want to call it.”
“Do you like your kitty’s to be hairless?” he asked without missing a beat as heat rushed through him as he pictured her bare.
When he saw Abbie’s right eye twitch as she got the meaning of his words, his mouth morphed into his smug smirk
“Pig.”
“What? It was a legitimate question.” He laughed as he winked at her. Hunter then focused back on the creature in her arms. “Why’s it so… weird?”
Abbie quickly covered its ears. “Don’t call him weird. He’s very sensitive.” To prove her point the thing meowed.
Well, at least that answered his question that it was indeed a cat… or maybe not? At this point, the jury was still out.
“Rupert is my very special boy.” Abbie murmured at the rat. “You’re momma’s big strong boy.” She bent giving him a kiss on its wrinkly head that had Hunter gagging.
She glared at him. “You’re being overdramatic.”
Abbie then placed it back on the ground before fixing its sweater.
The cat had a fucking sweater.
Then to his horror. The thing walked right over to him. Looked him in the face and then fucking hissed.
Hunter jumped back in fear of his life. “What the fuck?”
“He doesn’t like you.” Abbie shrugged going back to her mug.
“I see that.”
“Like mother like son, I guess.”
“Put it outside.” Hunter stretched out his foot, lightly pushing the creature away from him. Rupert responded with a louder hiss followed by an attack.
“Get it off me!”
Abbie brought the mug up to her lips failing to hide her smile. “No, you were mean to him. You tried to push the poor little guy away with your stinky ass foot.”
“Abbie, get this thing off me!” He shook his leg trying to get the ballsack off.
Abbie was there in an instant scooping the creature into her arms. “You lay one finger on this guy and I’ll rip off your balls and make you eat them. In this household. He ranks well above you.” She pointed her finger at him. “You got that?”
“At least I rank somewhere,” he mumbled.
“Yeah, right below the bin of garbage that has to go to the curb tonight,” she challenged as her eyes spit fire in his direction.
“You wanna go again, Abs?” Hunter’s eyes darkened. “Say the word. I’ll even let you think you’re winning for a few seconds.”
Quickly, Abbie turned away her shoulders slightly slumped. “Don’t call me that.”
“Call you what?” Hunter watched as the feisty Abbie disappeared right in front of him.
What happened?
When Abbie finally turned back to him, it was a straight punch to the gut. Gone was fighting Abbie, in her place was something he’d only seen once before. His eyes s
queezed closed as the memory of her standing in her driveway appeared.
When he opened them, he saw Abbie throwing walls up around herself.
“Abs,” she repeated. “Don’t call me Abs.”
Hunter always called her Abs. At least when they weren’t fighting he did.
“Abbie…” he said softly moving closer to her.
“No, it’s fine.” Abbie put her hands up in surrender before she headed toward the back of the house.
For a moment he just stood there trying to make sense of what the hell just happened.
Fuck it. Quickly Hunter followed behind her. That’s when he saw her open the door that led toward the backyard.
“Come, Rupert. Out you go.” The cat - in all his turquoise glory - trotted right past Hunter and out the back door.
The hell? He cringed away.
Sure, he knew seeing Abbie again wasn’t going to be easy, but right now he was positive he was in some warped version of hell that was ruled by a rat in a dress.
Deciding it was best to go along for the ride he followed after them.
However, the moment he stepped outside he was taken aback. He did a quick double-take around the place, and an instant feeling of unease swept over him. It was something straight out of a horror movie.
Everything was dead.
And he meant everything, even the grass.
There were raised garden beds along the back patio, but yeah, those were all dead too.
It was terrifying. “What the hell happened out here?” Had the apocalypse happened and he missed it?
Hunter scanned his surroundings once more. That’s when he spotted it. There was one potted plant on top of a patio table that still looked alive.
Well, kinda.
“What do you mean?” Abbie cocked her brow.
“It looks like something out of a, you better run ‘cause I’m gonna murder you and wear your skin, kinda thing out here.”
Abbie’s eyes hardened. “Do not make fun of me!”
“I’m not making fun of you, Abbie. I’m seriously concerned here. Compared to the inside of your house this place looks like a fucking mortuary.”
