Aroused In Fire (Curse 0f The Dragon Book 2)

by Jadyn Chase

  William murmured into my ear. “Penny for your thoughts, old boy.”

  I stole a sidelong glance at him. “I was just thinking what a lucky man Thomas is.”

  “He certainly found himself a good match. I wonder if you and I will ever find counterparts as well suited to us as he has.”

  I didn’t answer. In the secret depths of my heart, I already knew the answer. I had already found her, and I lost her. She lived right across town and I would never see her again.

  If I passed her on the street, would she cross to avoid me? Would she refuse to speak to me? Would she want to stay on friendly terms even knowing how I felt?

  When William’s voice invaded my brain a second time, he voiced the words forming in my own heart. “Why don’t you go find her and talk to her, my boy? Why don’t you tell her how you feel?”

  I looked up at him and his clear eyes sparkled back at me. How fitting that he should have gleaned the truth after all these weeks. He’d seen me and Rosie together. He must have sensed the bond between us.

  “I can’t, dear William,” I whispered. “I have already told her, and she doesn’t feel the same.”

  “Of course, she does!” he exclaimed. “Are you mad? She’s just as head over heels in love with you as you are with her. Any fool can see that. You two have been glued together at the eyeballs for three weeks.”

  I had to chuckle to myself. “Perhaps only I have been. She already knows how I feel. Telling her again will only drive her farther away. I couldn’t do that again, either to myself or to her. Best to let it go.”

  “Let it go, my arse!” he huffed. “You love her, don’t you?”

  “Of course, I do,” I replied. “I love her with all my heart and soul. I was just thinking that watching Allison. I would give anything to make Rosie my life’s companion the way Thomas has made Allison his, but it will never happen. Rosie isn’t interested.”

  He laid his hand on my shoulder. “She’s interested. Take my word for it. I’m your brother and I’ve seen the two of you together. She’s interested. Maybe she just doesn’t know it yet.”

  I shook my head. I didn’t want to believe it. I already resigned myself to living without her. “Perhaps you’re seeing something in her that you want to see. Perhaps you’re seeing something that isn’t there.”

  “Perhaps you’re seeing something in her that you want to see,” he returned. “Perhaps you’re seeing something that isn’t there when you say she isn’t interested.”

  “She says she’s not interested.” I chuckled to myself to dispel my nerves. I didn’t like where this conversation was leading me. “I think I can trust her to know her own mind. If she says she’s not interested, I have no choice but to accept it.”

  He waved that away. “Pshaw! Women! They never know their own minds. They deliberately say the opposite of what they really feel. They say they’re not interested when they are and they say they’re interested when they aren’t. You should know this from your own experience, my good lad. It’s a classic case of female caprice.”

  I rounded on him baring my teeth. “If that’s the case, how the deuce are we as men supposed to make any progress with them? How are we supposed to navigate relations with them if they don’t tell the truth about what they want?”

  He sighed and gave me another brotherly squeeze around the shoulders. “It’s a conundrum, I agree. That’s the nature of womankind. That’s what makes them so intoxicatingly appealing to us men. You can’t escape it.”

  I grunted and went back to observing Allison in all her pregnant glory. “I’ll bet Thomas never had to go through any of that with Allison. I’ll bet she’s perfect in every way.”

  He whispered in my ear like the devil on my shoulder—or was it an angel? “Believe me when I say that every man goes through it with every woman, no matter how wonderful she is. No one is perfect—not us, not them—no one. The sooner you stop searching for perfection, the sooner you’ll find happiness with the woman right in front of your nose.”

  He drifted away—at least, he drifted out of my awareness—or maybe I simply drifted away into my own thoughts. A few minutes later, I heard Thomas tell William. “Allison is tired. We’re going back to our hotel.”

  I hurried over to intercept him. “You must keep in touch with us. We can catch up in the next week before you go back to America.”

  “Absolutely,” he told me. “Give me your email address.”

  I gave him the phone number and address Jake and Jackie gave me to pass on in case I found any of my family. Father and Mother wanted to go back to their own place of residence, too. We all gave each other our contact details before Mother and Father and Thomas and Allison left.

  Dozens of people still packed the Great Armour Hall, but William and I stood outside staring into the crisp spring night. “Well?” William asked. “That’s the end of that, then.”

  “It’s not the end,” I replied. “It’s only the beginning.”

  He swiveled away. “I think I’ll walk back to the farm. I’m sure Jake and Jackie want to hear all about it.”

  I didn’t say anything, and he didn’t ask about my plans. I wasn’t ready to go back to the farm and I didn’t want to face Jake and Jackie’s questions. I didn’t want to see anybody right now. I just wanted to think.

  I wandered down the road to the Cliffs, but I didn’t go near Marine Parade. I didn’t want to pass Rosie’s shop and I didn’t want to go near town. I didn’t want to see her. I didn’t want to accidentally bump into her and get into any awkward confrontation with her. I made the break to letting her go and I would leave it at that.

  I headed north into the countryside running along the Cliffs. A spray of clear stars glittered down from the heavens. Other than that, the whole landscape lay swathed in darkness. The sea churned and heaved to my right.

  I hiked for more than two hours without seeing a light or a single human soul. I could have been the only person left alive on Earth, but I wasn’t. Dover still shone behind me with that ghostly halo of electricity. William and the twins waited for me over in Guston. Now I knew my parents were in town along with Thomas and Allison.

  Once Thomas and Allison went back to America, I would have relatives there, too. My family continued to expand, but Fate still left me out in the dark alone. What was I to do about that?

  What sort of a life could a man hope for when he continually hankered after love, hunted for it and yearned for it, only to come up short? What sort of a life was that?

  I spotted an old wooden bench in the distance. I headed for it, but when I got close, I noticed a human figure sitting there. I halted, bowed, and said, “Excuse me,” before retiring.

  “Wait!”

  I knew that voice. I looked over my shoulder. It couldn’t be her. I couldn’t have walked all this way to avoid meeting her, only to find her out here.

  “Wait, Alex.” She got to her feet and crossed the damp grass to where I stood.

  I held myself at a distance. I couldn’t let myself feel anything for her. I had to maintain the boundary she had set.

  She positioned herself in front of me. “Look, I just want to say I’m sorry about the way I acted. I’m sorry I said I wasn’t interested when I was. I shouldn’t have said that. I can’t expect you to forgive me and give me another chance, so I won’t ask. I just wanted to let you know that you were right about me—about us. What we shared that night—it meant something. It meant a lot, in fact. It meant everything. I just….”

  I waited, but she didn’t speak.

  She fidgeted from one foot to the next. “I just wanted to say I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have pushed you away. I should have taken the chance to be with you, and I regret it now.”

  “Why did you, then?” I asked. “Why did you push me away when you wanted to?”

  “Because….” She glanced around at nothing. I could barely make out her features in the dark. “Because I was scared, okay! I didn’t want to ….to feel, okay? I know it sounds stupid
. I feel like an idiot, but that’s the way it is. I didn’t mean to feel anything for you. I just wanted to have a good time and it exploded into…..” She waved her hand up and down in front of me. “Into this.”

  I scowled at her. Now that she finally opened her heart to me, I found myself pushing her away. I didn’t want to feel again—not after getting rejected for it. I didn’t want to get involved with her again if it meant dancing back and forth getting nowhere.

  She hung her head and screwed her toe into the dirt. “I’m sorry, okay? There. I said it. You probably never want to see me again and I don’t blame you. I’m just….” Her voice broke. “I’m sad that I’ll never see you again. I don’t want to lose you even though I know I probably already have.”

  “I can’t see you again, Rosie,” I interrupted. “I offered you my heart and you rejected it. How am I to know you won’t do the same thing again?”

  “I can’t promise I won’t mess up again. I’m sure I’ll let you down in massive ways. I’m not perfect. I can’t even ask you to let me try. I just want to tell you how I feel. I feel like I’m losing a part of myself. Now that the reunion is over, you’re going to go your own way. You don’t need me anymore. You have your brother and…. whatever else. It breaks my heart that I wasted the last four weeks with you and now that’s over. I’ll never get another chance to tell you that I love you.”

  I couldn’t feel anything at those words. What did they really mean in the end?

  She shrugged at nothing. “It doesn’t make any difference, does it? You don’t love me anymore. I destroyed that. I destroyed the one thing that mattered most to me in the world.”

  “Of course, I love you, Rosie,” I told her. “I will always love you more than any other woman I have ever known. I don’t imagine I could love another woman as much as I love you, but I can’t do this. I cannot love a woman who tells me one thing and feels another. I cannot allow myself to feel for a woman who tells me the opposite of what she really feels and thinks and wants. That is not love.”

  “I know!” she moaned. “Don’t you think I know that? I already feel bad enough about it as it is.”

  “Well, what do you want me to say?” I asked. “Do you want me to forgive you and take you back?”

  “No…. I mean, yes. I would give anything for a second chance, but I can’t ask you for that. I can’t…..”

  I waited. “You can’t what? You can’t feel? You can’t make yourself vulnerable to me by asking? You can’t say the words even when you do feel them? This is exactly what I mean, Rosie. If you can’t do those things, then you’re not prepared to love me at all, are you? You’re prancing left and prancing right and doing everything else but. I cannot live like that. I would rather live alone.”

  Her chin sank onto her chest. “I know.”

  I waited again. “If you have nothing more to say, Rosie, I think I’ll go back to the farm now. I’m tired and it’s getting late. I accept your apology and I hope we can engage in a friendly way from now on.”

  I turned away. I really didn’t want to continue this conversation in that vein. The whole train of dialogue exhausted me beyond endurance. I wanted nothing more of these pretty little games.

  She jumped at me and caught my arm. “Wait, Alex! Please. Please don’t walk away. I love you. I’ll do anything to get you to love me back. I’m sorry. I’ll do anything. I’ll never lie to you again. I swear it. Please don’t turn your back on me. I can’t live without you. I’m begging you to give me another chance. I don’t want to face tomorrow without you in my life. I’m just…scared. I’m scared, okay? I’m scared because I don’t know what my life will be like without you in it. I don’t know if I can survive without you in it. I don’t want to put myself in your hands like that, but I have to. Please. Just give me another chance. I’m begging you. I love you…..”

  I stared down at her in the gloom. She clutched my arm and pressed her body against me. Her eyes glistened up at me and her voice cracked with buried emotion. I hadn’t seen her like that since I shared her bed that night so long ago.

  In a fraction of a second, the walls holding us apart came tumbling down. I experienced a mind-blowing rush of overpowering love for her. If this was the Rosie she really was, the Rosie she offered to me, I wanted nothing more than to seize her with both hands and never let her go.

  No trace remained of that other Rosie, the distant, unfeeling, callous Rosie who kicked my affections back in my teeth. This warm, pulsating, gasping, quivering woman alive in my arms—this was the woman I fell in love with.

  She settled down slightly, but only by in an inch. “I’m…. I’m sorry, Alex. I do love you. I don’t want to lose you. Please…just stay and talk to me. Don’t…don’t leave me.”

  All thought of leaving vaporized out of my head. I gazed down at her in the fullness of my love for her. “Do you give me your solemn promise to always be truthful and honest with me no matter what—no matter how frightening and painful it might be?”

  “Always,” she breathed. “I swear it.”

  I kissed her. I kissed her hard and passionately. I folded her in my arms. The breaking sensation of my heart splitting open hurt almost to the point of tears. I clasped her close. She was mine after all. She was mine for the taking.

  15

  Rosie

  Alex and I walked hand in hand down the dark road toward Dover. The world lit up around us as we emerged under the streetlamps along Marine Parade.

  “Where are we going, Rosie?” he asked.

  “I thought we’d go back to my apartment. It doesn’t make sense for you to stay at the twins’ cave if we’re going to be together, does it?”

  He studied me closer. “Are you sure we don’t need to go through some sort of official courting period before that? Spending one night is one thing, but this goes a bit further than that, don’t you think?”

  I hugged his arm. “I’m sure.”

  “I’ll have to inform Mother and Father. I wonder what they’ll say.”

  I stopped dead and my jaw dropped. “Your mother and father?”

  “Yes. I never got a chance to tell you. They came to the family reunion—them and Thomas and his fiancé. She’s heavily pregnant, by the way. I’d like you to meet all of them. We’re going to get together this week before Thomas and Allison before they return to America.”

  I gaped at him in stunned silence. His parents? I never considered the ramifications of him actually finding them. What would they say when we met? Would they approve of me? I wasn’t exactly up to Victorian standards and I basically threw myself at their son.

  Never mind. I put all those concerns out of my mind. If Alex thought I was good enough, that was enough for me. As long as he wanted me, I could take whatever the future held in store for us.

  We turned down a side street a few blocks from my building. He scanned the shadow streets, but he didn’t gape at everything wide-eyed astonishment the way he did before. He understood what he was seeing. I could almost believe he came from this time.

  He woke me from my thoughts. “What will we do when we get back to your apartment?”

  I glanced over and discovered him scrutinizing me. What did he mean by asking me that? He must know what we would do. If he didn’t, I couldn’t explain it to him.

  He went back to looking around, but I couldn’t settle down. My heart pounded. I finally got up the nerve to tell him I loved him. Now we were going home together. What would happen when we got there? Would I fall into that powerful gaze of his? Would he cast his hypnotic spell over my mind and heart and my life?

  Without warning, he pulled me sideways. Before I could cry out to ask what he was doing, he tugged me into an alley between two buildings. In half a second, he pushed me against the wall.

  He leaned his strong body into me and held me there. He clasped my cheeks in both hands and whispered low in my face. “Say you love me. Tell me you love me.”

  I gasped for breath. His sudden move took me by surprise.
I panted to get some air, but his muscles stiffened. A shock wave hit me, and I felt his desire.

  This was nothing like last time. When I jumped him in my apartment, I could convince myself I was deflowering a Victorian gentleman who never did anything like this. Now I realized I got him all wrong.

  He was a man. He was hard and firm and unbending in his will. He knew what he wanted. I never deflowered anybody. He took it easy on me last time. I couldn’t continue to delude myself that he would always acquiesce and play nice.

  His manhood stiffened between my legs. Sure enough, he bent his knees and drove into me hard enough to make me moan. I had no choice but to respond to him. My body convulsed in exquisite desire and my crotch throbbed for him inside me.

  “Tell me you love me,” he snarled. “Tell me you love me.”

  “I…. I love you,” I gasped. “I love you.”

  “Say you love me and you need me. Say you can’t live without me.”

  Adrenaline burned my guts. He was really going to do this right here in the alley. He was going to take me as his own and make me admit in the act itself that I couldn’t live without him.

  All in a rush, it was true. I needed him so bad. I couldn’t face life without him. I loved him so much I would do anything, even this.

  My eyes floated half-closed. He blurred before my gaze and my body took over. “I need you.” My voice rose to an agonized whimper. “I need you so bad. Please don’t leave me, Alex. I can’t live without you.”

  He dove his mouth against my ear. His hot breath singed my brain. “You’re mine, aren’t you, Rosie? Say you’re mine.”

  “I’m yours.” In that moment, I would have said anything, done anything, endured any humiliation to keep him with me. “I’m only yours.”

  “Show me,” he murmured. “Show me you’re mine.”

  I didn’t know what to do, so I unbuttoned my pants and hitched them down. If he wanted me like this, to debase myself like this, I would do it.

  “Now mine,” he whispered.