Fuck, my stomach is in knots over the way I treated her, acting like none of it mattered. But I had to be a dick because sometimes it’s easier to nip things in the bud. She needed to hear the hard truth.
So yeah, this was the only way to protect her. The sweet girl may not know now that I did her a favor, but she will in the future. We’ll all be able to laugh and look back on this soon. Hopefully. Or maybe she’ll never want to see us again.
Shit.
That’s probably gonna be what happens.
The door to my office swings open and I look up to see Crystal peering inside, blinking owlishly.
“Um, Dr. Channing? It seems Mr. Thorn is calling for you. Should I patch him through?”
I’m so shocked I almost spill the piping hot coffee all over myself. What the hell is wrong with me? Am I turning into some kind of pussy who can’t even handle a phone call from his old friend? Okay, so we’re lovers too, but still. These nerves are fucking annoying.
So I smile calmly, even if inside, my mind is spinning.
“Yes, patch him through. Thanks.”
Crystal watches me adjust in my seat a little too closely, so I wave her out before reaching for the phone.
“This is Dr. Channing,” I speak, tone smooth.
“Hey Mace,” growls that familiar low tone, making my temperature rise. “What’s going on?”
I take a deep breath.
“Nothing. Why?”
Gray launches into it right away.
“My driver told me that Mona stopped by your office. Solo. Without me. What’s going on? Why did she come by?”
My voice is careful.
“Well, you know how she feels right? With the changes and all?”
There’s a moment of silence.
“Kathy came back, sure,” he grunts. “But who cares? It’s no biggie.”
Honestly, this dude is so hard-headed sometimes it’s astonishing.
“She was torn apart, you asshole. She said you’re under some spell with Kathy, and the poor girl was devastated.”
There’s a long pause on the other end of the line, and I expect Gray to admit to his change of heart. That is, until I hear what sounds like the rough sob.
Holy fuck, is he crying? Is my alpha male letting loose on the line, unable to contain his remorse?
“What the fuck? What’s going on?” As angry as I am, I can’t help being concerned. Gray sounds terrible.
“She’s too young to understand, Mason,” he manages in a stiff voice. “I was going to explain everything to the both of you. It’s just….”
“It’s just what?”
“I wanted you both to be there. I didn’t want to explain the same story twice. It feels sneaky if I only tell one. Because shit, this is so complicated, and … I don’t know.”
Suddenly, my heart leaps for no reason. Is Gray hinting at something? What’s this deep, dark secret?
Could it be love?
Could he feel something real for us?
Could he want our lives to continue as they are, entwined and enmeshed with one another?
But it can’t be, right? Because how the fuck are we going to make this work?
“Listen,” comes my rough voice. “We’ll work it out. I’m at the office now, but we’ll talk about it later. It’ll happen,” is my promise. FML, both of us feel like shit now.
And Gray speaks the unspoken then.
“How badly did we fuck this up? Does she hate me?” There’s obvious pain in his voice and I can picture him running his hands through his thick, dark hair while tugging at his scalp.
I sigh.
“It’s bad. We were both trying to protect Mona, but that’s not how she saw it.”
“Shit!” His anger arouses me, but I push past the urge. Now isn’t the time.
“I have one more client, but then I can leave. We’ll pick up Mona from school and explain everything,” is my rough suggestion. “Hopefully, it will be enough to win her back.”
“No, I can’t wait that long. I’ll go to her. We can come to you, or meet outside of your office after,” Gray growls in a rush.
I feel in the dark again, knowing he’ll get to her before me. I need to explain my reasoning to Mona as much as he does. Why should he get a head start? Then again, the priority should be finding her as soon as possible, and if I can’t do that now, I’m thankful Gray can.
That’s what makes us so special. Because with three of us in the relationship, there’s more flexibility. More complications yes, but also more give, and that’s helping us now. If I can’t be there right at this moment, then Gray can take my place. And then we’ll meet up later to make this right.
But doubts are starting to enter my head. Because what was I thinking? Mona’s better off without us. She doesn’t need two alpha males telling her to do this or that, commanding every inch of that nubile body. She deserves better. She deserves a husband, kids, and a normal life just like anyone else.
Shit. These were Gray’s fears all along, his argument that we had to leave her alone. And I wouldn’t listen.
But I push the train of thought out my mind, my need for the girl too strong.
“Fine,” is my grunt. “Go find her, and I’ll meet up with you guys later.”
“Shit,” he rumbles. “I’m on it. Hopefully she’s not too mad.”
I nod in agreement.
“It’ll be fine. We just have to explain ourselves. Mona is a mature girl, and she’ll be happy to know your side of the story.” I try to calm him down, but I doubt it’s working from the low growls on the other side.
“Okay, I’ll call you when I find her.”
“Good.” I end the call and immediately exit my office to see Crystal chatting with my assistant Daniel.
“Crystal, I need you on the lines for the rest of the day,” comes the command. “Put everything on else on hold.”
Crystal nods swiftly, retreating behind her desk, eyes intent on the monitor. But then my cell rings insistently then, and I fish it out of my pocket.
“Gray?” is my deep rumble. “What’s up?”
My lover’s voice comes on the line, but instead of his usual cool, detached self, there’s something urgent in his voice.
“Mona’s not at school, Mason,” he rasps, an edge of frantic desperation in his tone. “What the fuck?”
My mind spins.
“Where are you now?” I ask, trying to remain as calm as possible.
“I’m in the car,” he swears. “Fuck fuck fuck!”
“Shit man, you have to calm down,” I say, as much for myself as for Gray.
But suddenly, a new patient waltzes in the lobby, shooting a quizzical smile my way. Shit. I can’t get away just yet. There’s nothing I want to do more than to take off and find my best girl, but it’s unprofessional to run out.
So I click the cell off and shoot this new patient a neutral smile.
“Come in,” is my courteous voice. We move into my office, shutting the door silently like nothing’s wrong. “So, Marie, welcome back. How have you been?”
I start off our session just like any other, only today I’m unlike the doctor my patients have come to know. My normal cool has melted away as the sweat drips slowly down my back and my eyes are glued to my phone to see if it’ll ring. Fuck. I’m a total basket case knowing that Mona’s gone missing.
But my patient has no idea, tossing blue-streaked blonde hair over her shoulder.
“Things are good,” she says airily. “Well not that good. I dunno. Sometimes it just feels like too much to constantly create without knowing when my work will pay off,” Marie says, crossing her arms as she looks at me with rebellious eyes. “You know I’m an artist.”
I nod.
“Yes, and tell me about your art again,” is the invitation.
“I create everything. I’m a visionary. I’ve done everything from album covers to complete installations. There’s nothing too big for me to complete, but I do have artistic integrity.” M
arie holds her head high.
“And what does that mean to you?” As I begin questioning my new patient, a trace of normalcy comes back to my limbs. Shit, shit. I just have to get through this.
“It means I won’t be writing Burger King jingles anytime soon.” Marie licks her lips and giggles.
“So, no to Burger King, but yes to music albums?” I test her logic.
“Yes to indie music albums. There’s a difference,” Marie reasons with more sass than necessary.
“Okay, so there are a lot of rules to live by. Do you enjoy setting the boundaries for yourself?” I push further into understanding her thinking pattern. But really, I’m just thinking about Mona this entire time. Visions of the brunette dance before my eyes. Marie’s just a robot with her mouth running.
But something about my patient makes me appreciate Mona so much more. Although she is years younger, Mona has an aura of calm about her. Some would say she has an old soul, but I would bet it’s from all that she’s seen in her short life.
I can still remember her first visit with Gray. She was so closed off initially –completely unwilling to open up to a stranger. To think that we’ve come so far makes me happy and sad at the same time.
Happy because I want my girl to be the best person she can be. Sad, because this may be the end.
Shit.
How could I have been so callous? Regardless of what I thought best, there are better ways to go about making sure the girl you love doesn’t get hurt. I didn’t have to hurt her, and yet that’s exactly what I did.
“What? Do you think the rules are what’s driving me crazy?” Marie interrupts my thoughts.
“Who said you’re crazy?” I flip the question back to her. It’s the tactic of a good therapist.
“Well, I’m guessing my parents didn’t send me here because they think I’m sane,” Marie says sarcastically. She smiles and cocks her head to the side, clearly used to getting her way.
“Why do you think your parents sent you here, Marie?” I ask in a neutral tone.
And that’s enough to set my patient off on another round of complaints. I listen with half an ear, my eyes discreetly flickering to the light indicators on my phone. Every time I look and see nothing, my heart sinks. Where’s Mona? What’s Gray up to? Has he located her yet? My heart pumps even as a frozen smile greets my patient. Marie is a ball of energy and she talks a mile a minute, her thoughts moving too fast for her lips at times. This girl has no idea about my internal thoughts.
Because as suspected, she’s a spoiled rich kid, but her main vice is men. Especially men who aren’t good for her. Her last boyfriend convinced her to lease an apartment for him to illegally grow pot, and her parents ended up paying a hefty fine and lawyer fees to clear her name.
Mona would never get into that. Our girl is good to the bone, without a mean bone in her body. Mona doesn’t need therapy really. She was just here to solve some problems between her and Gray.
But Marie knows none of this. We’re just breaking down her career as an artist and what it means to her when she begins pacing around my office. She’s only just noticed the art I have around the room, and her attention seems to zero in on one particular Rothko painting hanging on the back wall.
“Do you like that one?” I ask, although I already know the answer.
“Only a free person can make a piece of work like this. One has to be completely free of expectations and requests to make something as free as this painting.”
The artwork is incredibly simple, yet heralded for its deep meaning and complexity. Allowing her to enjoy the work, I don’t push further about what it means to her, and instead sit silently watching the girl move on to the next piece of artwork.
Finally, the red light on my phone is flashing, and I know that it must be Gray.
“Marie, excuse me for a moment,” I say before raising one finger in the air.
My heart is racing, anxious to know what’s happened, but fear also paralyzes my frame. Where the hell is Mona? With trembling hands, I lift the receiver and slowly hold it to my ear.
Gray’s ragged breath is the first thing I hear, each of his inhales deep and shattered. I know before he speaks that the news is bad.
“She’s gone! Fuck Mason, she’s gone,” he rasps.
My heart drops, along with the phone, as I struggle to understand how to undo the damage. Because this was all about Mona. I’d dreamt of a life with her, steamy and romantic. I also envisioned life without her because sometimes that’s just what happens. But it was never like this. Mona would always be there, on the sidelines. She’d be in my peripheral vision, at the edges of my consciousness, even if we didn’t interact.
But going missing? What in the world? This was never part of the plan. And my heart leaps into my throat, making it impossible to swallow. Because we did this to her, me and Gray both. We hurt the young female with our callous behavior … and this is the result.
Chapter 14
Mona
Three years later …
“Excuse me. Excuse me, miss?” A deep voice with a thick southern accent asks from behind me.
I’ve just finished displaying the last of my rose arrangements for the day. Without even looking at the clock, I know the end of my shift is approaching. By now I can gauge the hour by how many tulips are left. Flowers have become my life, and I can’t complain at all.
Because being around plants gives a me a calm I didn’t know was missing in my life. Often, I find myself lost in thought, or enjoying one-sided conversations with the natural beauty that surrounds me at work. Although I’d never considered a career as a florist, this shop was the only place hiring when I arrived in town. Luckily, I wound up enjoying the work.
“How may I help you?” are my courteous words, dusting the potting soil from my palms onto the apron covering my thick thighs.
The man points at a bouquet of pink and white roses.
“Those are real nice,” he growls. But that’s not the reason why he’s here. “I was trying to get back to the interstate,” the man explains, flashing a white smile. “I tried to cut through this town for a shortcut, but now I can’t find my way back.”
“Oh. The interstate?” I repeat, biting my bottom lip. Since I never learned to drive, directions have always befuddled me. “Sorry,” I say as my cheeks turn bright pink. “Can’t help you.”
“Of course you don’t know. When I saw you from the window I thought you weren’t the type of woman that would know about interstates and directions. You were just too pretty for me not to ask,” he snuffles.
My eyes race to the floor and I find myself shocked by the boldness of his compliment. It’s not every day a single handsome man makes his way into a floral shop. Don’t get me wrong, I get looks from other good-looking customers, but it’s hard to flirt while ordering a bouquet of roses for another woman.
“Thanks,” is the choked word. But that won’t do. I’m not a shy pansy anymore. So I like into his eyes. “Thank you,” I enunciate clearly.
The man laughs again.
“Don’t act like I’m the first guy that’s told you how pretty you are. Working here, I’m sure you hear it all the time.” The man smirks, glancing down my body as if I don’t know what he’s thinking even though it’s incredibly obvious.
I can sense the way he craves me, wants to devour me and rip through my flesh. It’s written all over his face, and somehow he thinks he’s discreet. It’s laughable.
“No, you’re not the first,” is my acknowledgment.
“Good. A girl like you needs to hear that often.” He looks me over one last time, and I know we’re heading for that awkward moment where one of us needs to say something. The last thing I want to do is reject him politely, or give him some stupid excuse about why he can’t have my number. Just thinking about going on a date is painful.
Because I still miss Gray and Mason. They treated me abominably, so bad that I had to run. But I lay awake nights, dreaming of my lovers, and it has
n’t gone away despite our time apart.
After a long pause, suddenly inspiration strikes.
“John works next door at the post office. He’s really good with maps.”
The man nods, looking more than a little disappointed. “Right,” he says. “Well, thanks, pretty girl.” He begins to turn around and then hesitates, making my stomach clench. But then we’re interrupted by an old woman entering the shop, and the man leaves.
Thank goodness. Saved again. I just don’t have the stomach for dating. Mason and Gray occupy all my mindspace, even if on the outside I appear single.
But this isn’t the time for that. Turning to her, I offer a friendly smile.
“How are you?”
The old lady smiles and chirps, “Good, thanks honey. It’s a great day.”
I smile back.
“Let me know if you need help with anything.”
The woman nods, but doesn’t reply as she continues browsing. In a town so small, there are only a handful of customers, and it’s pretty easy to figure them out. These aren’t city slickers, complicated and obtuse. These are small-town folk, simple with a nice way about them.
It suits me just fine. It helped mend my broken heart for sure, although I’ll never be the same.
But I’m grateful for the here and now. Because I’ve been able to blend, no questions asked about a lone woman arriving in town with no contacts and no money. People welcomed me because that’s their way, and I’m grateful.
After all, the big city was too overwhelming for me. Maybe it was destiny to move to a small town. I’d been in desperate need of a fresh start, and luckily, that was exactly how things had turned out.
Because when Mason finally told me what he and Gray really thought of me, I knew I could never see either of them again. It’s funny now to think back to how naïve and stupid I was. Two powerful, ultra-successful and sexy men falling in love with a chunky teenager? Get real.
Sometimes I miss being that innocent, because although life has given me many blessings I find myself missing that naïve piece of my heart. Leaving the city had been so frightening – even boarding the Greyhound bus with my savings rolled into my sock had been a terrifying experience.
Their Secret Page 14
