That First Special Kiss

by Gina Wilkins

  Shane had a sudden image of those soft hands stroking his body. He cleared his throat abruptly. “Do you like kittens?”

  With a final pat for the dog, Kelly straightened. “Who doesn’t like kittens?”

  “Lots of people. There’s a new litter on my back porch if you want to see them. A pregnant stray showed up a couple of weeks ago and Molly talked me into letting her stay.”

  “Marshmallow.”

  He sighed. “Yeah, I know.”

  “How many kittens did she have?”

  “Three.”

  “And Paulie doesn’t bother them?”

  “Paulie’s used to all kinds of different critters being around. Molly would have a whole zoo if Dad and Cassie would let her.”

  Kelly took one look at the furry family nesting on Shane’s back porch and fell instantly in love. Shane stood to one side and observed indulgently as she fell to her knees beside the bed he’d fashioned from a cardboard box lined with old towels. The mother cat, surprisingly friendly for a stray, made no effort to stop Kelly from admiring the babies.

  Shane found himself getting aroused all over again as he watched Kelly run a fingertip slowly over a soft, sleeping little body, a look of sheer delight on her face, her eyes soft with pleasure. He shifted his weight, drawing her attention away from the kittens for a moment.

  “They’re precious,” she crooned. “Especially the little white one with the gray spots. Are they boys or girls?”

  “The white one is female, I think, and the two graystriped ones male. It’s hard to tell with kittens, but that’s my best guess.”

  She looked down at the kittens again. “They’re so sweet. I always wanted a cat when I was growing up.”

  “Why didn’t you have one?”

  “My mother was too ill to deal with pets when I was little. And then I moved in with Mrs. Fendel, who was allergic to cats.”

  “There’s nothing to stop you from having a cat now, is there?”

  She looked intrigued. “I don’t know. I haven’t given it much thought.”

  Kneeling beside her, he gently lifted the white-and-gray kitten. He placed it in Kelly’s hands. “This little girl needs a home.”

  Temptation warred for a moment with wanness, and then Kelly smiled and lifted the mewing little creature to her cheek. “Will you teach me how to take care of her?”

  “You bet. It isn’t that hard. Cats are pretty self-sufficient. She’ll need her shots in a few weeks and you’ll want to have her spayed as soon as she’s old enough—just as I’ll have the males neutered before I find homes for them. After that, it’s just a matter of giving her affection and attention and yearly booster shots.”

  “When will she be old enough to leave her mother?”

  “A few weeks yet, probably just after Christmas. And in the meantime, you can visit her any time you want.”

  “Thank you, Shane. I’ll give her a good home.”

  “I know you will. And I think you’ll enjoy her company.”

  Tenderly Kelly returned the kitten to its mother. “Will she miss her mother and brothers when we separate them?”

  “For a few days,” he answered candidly. “and then you’ll take their place.”

  Standing, Kelly looked down at the cats again. “I would take another one to keep her company, but I don’t think my little apartment is big enough for two cats.”

  “She’ll be fine as long as she has you to play with.”

  Kelly drew herself away from the cats. “We’d better get those drinks. Cassie will wonder what’s taking us so long.”

  Shane led her into his kitchen and opened the refrigerator. He had left a large, wheeled plastic cooler chest waiting to be filled with the extra canned drinks Cassie had asked him to store for her. He and Kelly filled it quickly, and then he closed the cooler and fastened the latch. “That should hold everyone for the rest of the day.”

  Kelly nodded and took a step toward the door. “Well, then, let’s...”

  “Kelly, wait.” He stopped her with a hand on her arm. “There’s something I want to talk to you about.”

  Her previously open, relaxed expression changed instantly to vague dismay. He could feel her stiffen beneath his hand, as if she were bracing herself for something. He wondered in exasperation why she was so darned skittish around him lately. Just because he had kissed her once? Had it really been that big a deal for her?

  “I overheard some of what you said to Emilio in the barn,” he said. “I wasn’t deliberately eavesdropping. I didn’t realize you were having a personal conversation until it was too late.”

  Her expression changed to surprise, as if she’d been expecting him to say something else. “I, um...”

  When she hesitated, he continued. “What you said to him was really nice. I think it helped put him at ease.”

  “He seems like a nice boy who’s had a difficult time. I hope things work out so he can stay with Lindsay and Nick.”

  “Nick told me everything looks good so far. He and Lindsay want to keep Emilio until he’s eighteen and then help him get into college.”

  “He’s lucky to have found them.”

  “I want to ask you about something you said to Emilio.” Shane chose his words carefully, needing to clarify something that had been bothering him. “Do you really feel like an outsider with us? You told Emilio you’re always aware that you aren’t really a member of the family. Have we—has anyone in particular made you feel that way?”

  Her eyes went wide. “Of course not. Everyone in this family has been incredibly kind to me since the first day I met them. Even before they knew Brynn was Miles’s daughter, they took us in and made us welcome.”

  He wasn’t satisfied. “Then you didn’t mean what you said to Emilio?”

  Kelly hesitated, then shrugged beneath his hand. “Sometimes, on very rare occasions,” she emphasized, “I am aware that I have no real connection to the family, neither by blood nor by marriage. It’s just an old insecurity, I guess, left over from my childhood. Don’t worry about it.”

  He couldn’t let it go that easily. “Kelly, you must know that you’re as much a part of this family now as anyone. Most of the kids probably think you are a cousin, and the rest of us never even give it a thought.”

  “It’s okay,” she assured him, smiling a little now, her voice soft. “I was only reassuring Emilio that I understand his feelings. I love every member of your family and I’m quite confident that they are genuinely fond of me, too. Don’t let my old baggage worry you. As much as I appreciate your concern, I’m really okay with this.”

  “You’re sure?” he asked, searching her face.

  “I’m sure.” Still smiling, she reached up to touch his cheek. “You can be awfully sweet, you know that?”

  The gesture was impulsive, entirely natural, similar to others that had passed between them. A couple of weeks earlier, he might have given her a big, cousinly hug in response, maybe even a friendly kiss. Now he found himself hesitating.

  Kelly’s eyes locked with his. Her smile faded. Her hand lingered at his cheek, as if she’d momentarily forgotten it was there.

  Moving very slowly, he reached up to take her hand in his. He drew it to his lips, and brushed a kiss across her knuckles. Her heard her catch her breath, saw her pupils dilate.

  “Shane,” she whispered, her voice thin.

  She was so pretty. Her mouth so soft. So close. And something about the way she’d said his name just then made his knees go weak. “Kelly,” he murmured, and lowered his head, thinking he could give her a little kiss without getting carried away. Just a nice, friendly little...

  His mouth settled over hers, and he was lost.

  During the past week, Shane had wondered if he’d overreacted to the kiss he and Kelly had shared before. Maybe he’d only imagined that there had been something special about it. Something entirely unexpected. It hadn’t really lasted long enough for him to know whether it was different from any other kiss, he had told himsel
f.

  This one lasted longer. And he knew immediately that kissing Kelly was not something he could easily dismiss as casual and comfortable.

  Kelly didn’t immediately draw away. Her mouth softened beneath his, and then moved in a tentative response that was enough to make his head spin. And then her lips parted. Just slightly. Just enough to give him a tantalizing taste of her.

  He was suddenly ravenous for more. He wrapped his arms around her and gathered her close, nearly lifting her off her feet as he deepened the kiss. For one delicious moment, Kelly responded with a fervor that seemed to match his.

  And then she stiffened and pushed frantically against his shoulders. As reluctant as Shane was to end the kiss, he released her immediately.

  She jerked away from him, pressing against the kitchen counter and staring at him with wide, panicky eyes. Her breath came in broken gasps. “Don’t,” she said. “Don’t do that again.”

  His hand wasn’t quite steady when he shoved it through his hair. “Stop looking so terrified,” he said a bit crossly. “I’m not going to attack you.”

  She swallowed. “Is that the way you treat Dawne when you’re alone?”

  He’d never heard a more ridiculous question in his life. “Of course not,” he snapped. “Damn it, Kelly, Dawne’s family.”

  The silence that followed the comment was heavy with emotion. Her voice was as dark as her unhappy eyes when she finally spoke. “Any more questions about why I sometimes feel like an outsider?”

  He swallowed a groan as the full import of what he’d just said sank in. “Kelly, I—”

  She didn’t give him a chance to finish the stumbling apology. Instead, she turned on one heel and left the room, her limp more pronounced than usual, as if her distress weighed heavily on her. Shane started after her, then stopped with a curse when he remembered the cooler full of drinks. Even with her limp, he couldn’t catch up with Kelly while he was dragging a heavy cooler behind him. He was well aware that she would make sure there was no further opportunity for him to talk to her alone that night.

  “Walker,” he growled to himself, reaching for the cooler handle. “You’re an idiot.”

  There was no one around to dispute him.

  Chapter Six

  Kelly would never know how she managed, but somehow she made it through the remainder of Thanksgiving evening without anyone seeming to realize that anything was wrong. She smiled, she laughed, she mingled, she ate. She played games. And somehow she avoided looking at Shane. If she had looked at him, her hard-won composure would have shattered for sure.

  It was finally time to leave. Kelly was kissed and hugged by seemingly dozens of people—a Walker family tradition. And every kiss reminded her of how much she loved these people, how much it meant to her to be a part of them.

  She stood by the door while Brynn and Joe worked the room. Brynn kissed Shane, who’d just kissed three or four aunts and a couple of cousins. “Good night, Brynn,” he said.

  “Good night. Shane.” Brynn hugged him warmly. “Happy Thanksgiving.”

  Shane shook Joe’s hand. “See you next time, Doc.”

  “Shane, you didn’t say good-night to Kelly,” Molly, who’d been hovering nearby, reminded him.

  “No, I didn’t, did I?” Shane sauntered over to Kelly with his usual cowboy grace. He tipped her chin with his hand and leaned over her. “G’night, Kelly. Happy Thanksgiving.”

  His lips brushed her cheek, setting off an explosion of reaction inside her. And somehow she hid it again behind a bright smile. “Good night, Shane. See you around.”

  But not for a while, she added silently. Not until they got past whatever was causing this bizarre behavior between them lately.

  Kelly considered making an excuse to miss the monthly gathering of her friends, which was to be held at Michael Chang’s on the first Friday evening in December. She could tell them she wasn’t feeling well. Or that she had other plans. It happened occasionally that someone couldn’t make it, and everyone understood.

  Amber had called Kelly several times in tearful indecision about whether to attend. Kelly had no idea whether Cameron would make an appearance. She didn’t even know if Shane would be there. It depressed her that there were so many problems with the gathering this time. Why couldn’t everything have stayed the same as it had been? So easy and comfortable and pleasant. Why had Shane risked ruining their friendship with those impetuous kisses?

  She didn’t finally decide to go until the afternoon of the party. There were several reasons for her decision. She didn’t want Michael to be hurt if no one showed up. She wanted to be there to support Amber if Amber did decide to attend after all. And, finally, she refused to allow the situation with Shane to keep her away from her friends. Wasn’t that exactly what she’d been so afraid of? That a mistake between them would ruin her relationship with their friends and his family?

  She didn’t know what had gotten into him lately. Why he’d suddenly started looking at her differently. Touching her differently. Kissing her differently.

  She should never have sent him those flowers.

  There was a knot in the center of her stomach when she rang the doorbell of the small, one-story house Michael had retained after his divorce three years earlier. She hadn’t known him when he was married, but Heather had confided that Michael had been heartbroken by the breakup and was still recovering. Kelly had never heard Michael mention his ex-wife.

  Was this entire group destined to be unlucky in love? She couldn’t help wondering as the door opened and Michael greeted her.

  Shane, Scott and Cameron were already gathered in Michael’s sparsely furnished living room, munching chips and dip and sipping sodas from frosty bottles. Scott spoke to her first. “Hi, Kelly. Nice sweater.”

  She’d had the red-and-black striped sweater for a couple of years and knew Scott had seen it before, but he always commented on things like that. “Thanks. Where’s Heather?”

  “She’ll be here. She’s just running late—big surprise from my sister, huh?”

  Kelly turned then to acknowledge Cameron. “How are you?”

  She couldn’t quite read his expression when he nodded and murmured. “Hanging in there. How about you?”

  “Fine. I read your series of articles last week about the problems at that youth home in Denton. You did a great job with that—very powerful reporting. Have any improvements been made since you exposed the problems?”

  He nodded. “There will be a story in tomorrow’s edition about the recent changes there, including the hiring of a new director. Only time will tell whether things will really get better, or if the changes are all just public window dressing.”

  “Will you follow up?”

  “Bet on it,” he promised. “I’m not so confident that the problems have been solved.”

  Because she couldn’t avoid it any longer, Kelly turned then to greet Shane. “Where’s Molly tonight?”

  “She’s at a sleepover birthday party for a friend. It’s something that had been planned for months.”

  “How has everything been working out with the two of you this week? Any problems?”

  “None,” he boasted. “We’ve gotten along just fine. It’s been junk food and arcades and movies and go-carts all week. No homework or veggies or curfews. She wants to stay with me forever.”

  Kelly smiled. “I don’t believe a word of that, of course.”

  Shane made a face. “Okay, maybe we’ve eaten a veggie or two.”

  “And maybe Molly’s done her homework?”

  “Yeah. Maybe. But we really did go to an arcade one afternoon.”

  “Face it, Shane, you’ve been Mr. Respectability all week,” Scott teased. “You’ve probably been more straitlaced with your kid sister than your dad is.”

  Shane shrugged. “Let’s just say I haven’t heard her complain.”

  “Yeah, but she couldn’t wait to go to her sleepover party tonight, right?” Cameron ribbed.

  “Well...”<
br />
  “Did you give her the sleepover lecture?” Michael, joined in. “Don’t leave the house, don’t do anything she wouldn’t do at home, say ‘please’ and ‘thank you’ to the hosts, call you immediately if the other kids start doing anything she knows her parents wouldn’t approve of?”

  The way Shane shuffled his feet on the carpet let them know that Michael had just come very close to reciting the speech Shane had made to his little sister earlier. “You forgot the part where I reminded her to brush her teeth before bed,” he muttered, making the guys laugh and Kelly smile.

  The doorbell chimed and Kelly noticed that Cameron’s smile faded when Scott commented, “That’s probably Heather and Amber.”

  His guess was correct. Heather came in a bit more vivaciously than usual, chattering rather too spiritedly in an attempt to cover the awkwardness between Amber and Cameron. Amber was noticeably more subdued as she greeted Michael and then Kelly, Scott and Shane. There was palpable pain in her voice when she added quietly, “Hello, Cameron.”

  “Hi, Amber,” he answered gently. “I’m glad you decided to come tonight. It wouldn’t have been the same without you.”

  She gave him a soulful look. “I need my friends.”

  He winced a little at her tone. “Of course.”

  And then he turned to start a conversation with Scott about an upcoming college basketball game. Because they couldn’t bear to watch Amber watching Cameron, Kelly and Heather swept her into the kitchen on the pretext of making a pot of coffee—something Michael was notoriously bad at.

  It wasn’t the most comfortable evening the group had ever spent together, but they made it through without tears or shouts, which Kelly decided was a positive sign. Cameron left early, claiming that he had things to do. Amber said very little after he left, but at least she didn’t cry. Maybe, with time, everything would get back to normal—between Cameron and Amber, and between Kelly and Shane.

  She just wished she could be a little more confident about it.