MADNESS: Book One of The Shadow-Keepers Series

by Jas T. Ward

  Sophia suddenly hopped off her stool and ran over to take Reno’s hand. “It’s breafass time!”

  He laughed and let her pull him over to the bar and took a seat on a stool across from Witch. She slid a plate in front of him and he murmured out a soft “thank you” before digging in.

  He was starving and he smiled as he chewed, remembering all the activity from the night before that had burned off their dinner. A dozen dinners.

  “So...” Sophia said as she twisted on her stool, scooting her food around on her plate as if pretending she liked it all, “Yous not tell me yous name.”

  Reno glanced over at her with his mouth full of food saying after he washed down his food with juice. “Oh. Uh. Reno. Yours is Sophia right?”

  She nodded with those dark curls bouncing as she took a bite of food. “Yes. It is! But yous name is funny.”

  Reno chuckled as he reached out to snag a piece of toast off the plate on the bar followed by a jar of jelly. Slapping half the jar on the toast, he used it to scoop up eggs and bacon as he looked over at Sophia. “It is. I know. It’s because I’m a funny guy.”

  Sophia giggled and he glanced at Witch, which brought a frown to his face. She looked really nervous as she stood there, twisting a dish towel in her hands as she watched them. She met his eyes and quickly darted her gaze away and that got him more concerned.

  Oh. Right. Morning time.

  “Maybe I need to go.” Reno pushed off the stool and pointed to the food as he stood. “Thanks for breakfast. And uh,” he felt heat flood his cheeks as he fumbled with the words, “last night too. It was...” He wished she would look him in the eyes then maybe he wouldn’t feel like an idiot and a fool thinking it was something amazing to him, because to him it was.

  To her?

  He had no idea if it had meant anything, and most likely Reno wasn’t her second lover. But she had been both that and his first.

  She just didn’t know that.

  Emma reached out to take his arm. “Stay. Please?” It was then when she finally met his eyes that he didn’t recognize what he saw there.

  Fear? Confusion? Desperation?

  Reno nodded as Emma then turned to walk over to kneel in front of the little girl. “Sophia? Can you please go watch some cartoons?”

  Sophia seemed more than happy to not have to eat breakfast as she jumped down and stood in front of him. “Peasure meeting yous, Renos.” She then held out her hand like a perfect little business person; that made Reno give a slight grin and shake her hand in response.

  “And you, Ms. Sophia.”

  She giggled and went skipping out of the room. Moments later the sounds of Rugrats on Nickelodeon filled the air. Gosh, Reno wondered, what episode it was because if it was a Raptar one? He so wanted to be watching toons.

  Emma took his hand and he gave her his attention to look down at her. She seemed more nervous by the second, which caused him to bring his free hand up to cup her cheek. “Hey. What’s wrong?”

  She chewed on her bottom lip and looked towards the living room then back. “I don’t know how to tell you. I should have told you. But last night...”

  Reno braced himself for what she would say next while telling himself not to fall apart like a school boy losing his first crush.

  “...was wonderful. I haven’t felt like that in years. But it’s so complicated. Me. My life.” Emma’s eyes drifted once again to the living room. “Her.”

  Reno followed her path of view with his eyes and frowned. “Whose is she? Your sister’s? Friends?” The little girl looked a lot like Witch’s family. Except for not having those beautiful emerald eyes as Sophia’s were big, deep brown. Something about her eyes tickled something in his less-than-accurate grey matter.

  He frowned and blinked, trying to understand what his brain obviously was giving him big pointing arrows on. Nope. Nada.

  Emma had avoided this very topic so many times in an effort to buffer the only one true thing that loved her without rules or demands. It was the real reason she didn’t give men a chance or go on date after date. The very reason she shouldn’t have broken her rule of not being involved with a Breaker and never should have never let Reno into her home and life. And she was afraid now, he was in her heart.

  “No, Reno. Look at me.”

  His eyes drifted right then left before settling back on her as his brain paused in its fog of figuring out. Emma took in a big breath and then just decided to say it. “She’s mine.”

  That statement brought more blinking from him as he stood straight up to look at her. “What?” That seemed to be the only response his stupid brain could come up with. He searched her eyes and saw more fear grow, but he knew she wasn’t lying.

  And that’s when it snapped all into place.

  Reno closed his eyes and a slow “Oh” just fell out of his mouth. Now Sophia’s eyes made so much sense. But he needed to know.

  “You know the answer idiot. Even you ain’t that stupid. Run away. Run. Away.”

  He hissed for Sundown to shut up as he sat down on the bar stool as he wrapped his arms around himself to stare down at the floor.

  Emma watched him and panic grew cold in her veins because Reno was acting strange. Well, stranger than normal.

  But she had to chastise herself in remembering she didn’t even know him that well to know his normal from his strange. That thought caused her more shame as she sat down on the other stool to face him, pulling up a leg to hug to her chest as she wrapped her robe tighter around herself.

  “Say something. Please, Reno. Anything.” Except for goodbye. Please don’t say that she thought. Anything but goodbye.

  Reno continued to look down at the floor, his brow creasing as he fixated on a piece of egg on the floor. Ask the question. He needed to ask it, but he didn’t want to ask it more than anything. But he had to know. It was out his lips as he closed his eyes at the asking. “Who’s her father?”

  Emma had a standard tale she always used when asked that question. She should have been able to say it without batting an eye, without tripping on any pain or stripping a nerve after so long. But as she looked at this sweet man in front of her...she knew she didn’t want to lie to Reno. Never to him.

  “A Breaker by the name of Jess Bailey.”

  “Ah shit. This ain’t good at all. This is worse than bad. This is epically, awe-inspiring, needs a billboard fucked. Hear me Candyman? Bad. Bad Bad. Real real bad.”

  Reno dug his finger nails into his palms to try to use the pain to shut Sundown out or at least make his bad side shut the Hell up. His lips went in a tight line as he whispered in frustration, “Yeah. You think? Thanks.”

  Emma blinked and tilted her head. Was he talking to himself? “Reno? Did you say something?”

  His head snapped up to look at her as if he had forgotten she was there before he shook it. “I need to go.” He was on his feet fast with Emma following right behind him. It made so much sense. That night four years ago when Jess had shut him out and didn’t let him see Emma again through their head. Emma saying they had broken up. And Jess had not wanted her. Because of something she had that he didn’t want.

  A baby.

  A nearly impossible baby.

  Breakers weren’t exactly sterile. But the odds of one impregnating a female were incredibly low; so miniscule that it was considered impossible.

  Breakers could marry and have a life with someone who was their destiny. To be fused together so they could sense each other, feel each other’s pain, heal each other and give each other strength. All the things that made being a fused couple worth all the bad and pain the Breaker had survived.

  But most of all? The person the Breaker got fused with would share in the immortality of the Breaker. Go from being human to being immortal for as long as the Breaker lived. The Breaker’s mate could never die of natural causes and never age.

  Fusing didn’t guarantee a happy life, but it made it easier. The Breaker was released from service from the Grid if they c
hose to and their souls were no longer bound to the debt Hell gave to Bounce.

  It was that link to Hell that made it so important for a Breaker not to be able to make babies. For any child a Breaker made or had while still connected to Hell?

  That child’s soul belonged to Hell as well.

  So Breakers were kept sterile by design when turned in order to prevent it from happening. And god damn. Jess had done it.

  Emma was so confused, but beyond that she was hurt. Reno was gathering his things in such a hurry as if the house was on fire. Which was even more baffling considering it was broad daylight outside and he would be the one to go up in flames.

  “Reno! Wait!”

  Reno was frantic to hop into his jeans he found in the hall, spinning trying to find his shirt, with torn buttons and all, which was draped over the stair banister. He found one boot but couldn’t seem to find the other one before he spied it under the hall table. Hopping on one foot to step into one then the other, he didn’t even look at her.

  Jess knew what he was doing.

  When he gave up Emma and then, their unborn child, he didn’t do it to hurt her. He didn’t abandon her out of being just a total bastard.

  No. He did it to protect them. To keep the debt of Hell off an innocent baby in order to prevent its Dark Ruler from demanding payment off that child’s soul due to being a product of an indebted Breaker.

  Immortality and all that came with getting a second chance of living, but another shot of being allowed into Heaven had its price.

  You got to keep your soul. But it wasn’t yours till you were done doing your job.

  Jess did the ultimate sacrifice and Reno knew what that must have cost his ‘brother’. Jess still loved Emma and he must have loved that little girl in there. Jess proved that by giving them up so they would be free from the consequences of what he was.

  Emma couldn’t see this happen. Not again. She could not go through the pain that Jess had put her through when he rejected her and walked away. He had rejected their baby as if they didn’t matter anything more to him than day old bread.

  “No.”

  Her voice was louder than she intended with a strength she wasn’t even sure she felt. Reaching out to grab Reno’s arm to stop him, she waited until he faced her.

  “No. You’re not walking out that door. I won’t let you. Not without explaining why. Why my daughter seems like some curse that no one wants a part of. Why I can’t seem to find someone wonderful and loving to stay to be a part of my life.” Emma didn’t realize tears ran down her cheeks as they dripped off her jaw to land so warm on her breasts.

  Reno tracked every one of those tears as each one seemed to course into his soul like acid to a wound. He caused those. He was the one to blame for the pain she was in now as much as he was willing to risk blurring in the light of day. How could he explain it?

  That he didn’t want to bring Hell to her and daughter’s door? That she didn’t know that her daughter, if her father’s identity was learned, would become the property Hell?

  Or...that he was the one who made love to her so long ago, yet he didn’t even exist three years ago. And that he loved her from the moment he saw her even when all she saw was Jess.

  Never him. Not then.

  No. He couldn’t explain and he didn’t want to lie. But he couldn’t put her at risk and then endanger all of that coming out to boot. “Emma...Witch...I’m...”

  “Yous make mommie cry?”

  Reno looked down to see little Sophia and he was once again struck now with how much she looked like Jess. Those big brown eyes that were just like the eyes he had looked through for more than a century. That straight nose was just like her father’s. That determined brow that was now crinkled in both concern and anger that he had caused her mother’s pain were a copy of Jess’.

  Sophia pressed herself close to Emma with a thumb coming to her lips as she wrapped an arm around Witch’s leg and then looked up at him.

  They were so vulnerable and he had just risked their lives by coming here and spending the night here. By making love to a woman that his brother very obviously still loved who was the mother of Jess’ child. A child that Jess must miss every single day knowing he could never be able to be a father to her.

  Jess would gut him if he knew he was here. Would make him pay, torture and... Then it hit him.

  Jess didn’t control him anymore. Jess couldn’t lock him away in a hole that was dark and cold for making a mistake. No. This was his life now. This was his chance to have what he never had before. And the only thing he had ever wanted.

  Reno’s eyes drifted down to that pretty little girl and he knew he never even had a choice.

  “I did.” He stepped up and pulled Emma into a tight hug and pressed his lips on the top of her head. “And I don’t plan on doing it ever again.”

  Emma pulled back from him, confused and yet hopeful as she met his eyes. “So you’ll stay?”

  Reno’s eyes once again drifted down to little Sophia and then came back to lose himself in that green gaze of Witch.

  “I’m not going anywhere.”

  Chapter Thirteen

  Don’t Bounce Me

  (Two Months Later)

  “Do you have to go?”

  Reno smiled as he strapped on yet another blade to his left bicep as Emma’s arms came around his waist from behind to press against his back as she sat on the bed.

  He couldn’t even come up with the words to describe how wonderful these past months had been. He hadn’t visited his place in weeks with the exception of dropping by to grab gear or just make sure things were as he had left them.

  Emma hadn’t asked him to go; in fact she had asked him to stay. So Reno was staying with her and Sophia, and the little girl seemed to be happy too.

  Her new nickname was Rugrat because it was their favorite cartoon to watch together. His new name was Candyman because of his constant need for it and always having some form of sugary tidbit in his pockets. They had not officially moved in together because Emma hadn’t asked and he was afraid to assume it, but that all seemed a technicality now.

  Twisting a bit towards her and bringing his hands up to cup her face, Reno wrapped his fingers in her soft, silky hair with his thumbs stroking along her jaw.

  “Yeah. I kinda do need to go. I’m up for patrol.” But as his eyes took in her blushed cheeks and swollen lips from them making love for the second time today, Reno was finding it very hard, in so many ways, to go.

  “I know. I just worry when you go out.”

  Emma always said that and it always made him feel so valued when she did.

  Reno had never had anyone be worried about him. Or want him to hurry home, much less have a home with someone else who wanted him there in it.

  Leaning down to slowly kiss her, he whispered against her lips. “Just go back to sleep. I’ll be home before dawn. I’ll even make breakfast.”

  Emma laughed and tugged Reno down closer causing him to almost lose his balance before tumbling back against her with a laugh.

  She had never felt the way she felt towards this man. Not even the months of being with Jess had she felt so complete. So sated and definitely blessed. He made her laugh and lose her breath all in the same singular moment.

  Reno was a tireless lover who never seemed to want to stop giving her pleasure. Almost like her moans were such a treasure he wanted to make and keep as many as possible just for him.

  She couldn’t help but think of that one magical night she had so long ago repeated itself over and over again with Reno. But that was impossible so she stopped trying to figure it out weeks ago.

  “Breakfast? You mean cereal with gummy bears and juice?” Emma laughed and kissed him again before letting him go with a sigh. Bracing a bare foot on Reno’s chest, she playfully pushed him away from the bed. “Go. Leave me. If you must.”

  Reno opened his mouth to remind her of his duties when she laid back and her robe opened up and fell to the sides. He j
ust stood there gawking as the leather pants he wore to patrol got way too tight in one aching area instantly.

  Emma laughed and pointed to the door. “Weren’t you leaving? Big bad Breaker duties to fulfill and all?”

  (Two Hours Later)

  Reno hated being late but it was getting more and more difficult to get out and do his job when all he wanted was to curl up with Witch or watch a movie with Rugrat.

  Or get distracted by an untied robe.

  Oh yeah, that was pure torture, he thought, as he made his way through the Tenderloin district of San Francisco. But that nagging worry he had of pissing off Bounce by screwing up had become a full-fledged screaming anxiety when he thought about what the god would think about him and Witch.

  The one thing. Just one thing he was advised to do: to stay away from her and he had totally ignored that advice without even much of a fight.

  But he was so happy.

  Reno had never really been happy before. Not like this. The only happiness he had known had been in one night with Emma and now once again because of her. The first weeks, he had been so afraid of slipping up who or what he used to be, but now? He seemed to be truly used to his new life and body. And he was beginning to think she could never find out and he was in the clear. Or so he hoped.

  The weeks they had spent getting to know each other had taught Reno one very solid fact - Emma needed to trust the one she was with. After the mind screw Jess had done to her, despite his reasons, trust was the most important thing to his Witch. That was another first.

  Someone trusted him. Needed him.

  Wanted him.

  Reno would do anything to make sure those things never changed. Even lie.

  Suddenly Reno felt what was like a cold current across his skin that pulled his mind with a jerk back to his job. He stepped past the trolley car rails and towards the nightclub blocks of the funky district. Being discreet as he palmed a dagger under his light jacket sleeve, he scanned the area with narrowed eyes.

  Not many people were on the streets but there were some stragglers trying to make it to one last club before the 4am shut down.