by Duggan, K A
He pushes in closer, boxing me in against him and the unit. I take a deep breath before jutting my arse out, pushing right against his crotch. I hear him suck in a breath and count this as being even.
He spins me to face him “Am I distracting you, Fliss?”
“Yes.”
“I like when you’re distracted by me. I like even more when I’m distracted by you.”
I stare into his eyes trying to decipher what he’s up to. “Yeah? Well when I’m learning, I like to concentrate. Distractions aren’t appreciated.” I bring my hand up as though I’m about to gently touch his face and then with my free hand reach behind me, dip it in the bag of flour still sat on the side and smear it all over his cheek.
He steps back as I do a little triumphant jig at the shock on his face. He was winding me up on purpose, as though he knows the effect he has on me. Well, that showed him. I’m not putty, even in his hands.
“You want to play, Fliss?” he all but growls
Uh oh, I don’t mind dishing it out but no way do I want to be on the receiving end. I shake my head slightly as I chew my bottom lip. He pulls my lip free, comes to stand beside me while my heart hammers in my chest, waiting for what he’s about to do.
But nothing happens, no retribution, he starts mixing the mixture, continuing my cooking lesson in his usual carefree way, explaining things to me, until it’s being spooned into a cake tray.
“Now for the best part.” He says, his eyes shining
“The best part is eating it.”
His eyes widen as he shakes his head, looking at me like I’m insane, “You’re so deprived. The best part is licking the bowl and spoon.”
“Why would anyone do that?” My nose wrinkles at the thought.
“Why?! Because it’s awesome. I can’t believe you’ve never done this.” He shakes his head like the notion is completely crazy.
He raises the wooden spoon we’ve been using and before I know what’s happening he’s smeared the mix across my lips. Stray strands of my hair still managing to get stuck in it. This is the payback he’s been waiting for. The cake tin hasn’t been put in the oven yet and like a beacon beckoning me I turn to it, dunk my hand in and then run it over Ash’s shell shocked face.
My hand drips mix all over the floor, so does his face. It’s silent for a moment, both of us in shock, before we move simultaneously.
War breaks loose.
Flour is thrown, mixture is launched, egg and shell end up in my hair, on Ash’ head and running down his face. The kitchen is a disaster as we leap out of each other's way, ducking and diving in the most enjoyable food fight there ever was. Anything and everything to hand is used in the bid to win. I grab a bottle of tomato sauce and squirt it all over him, he grabs me and pulls me against his body so that it transfers to me as well. I’m giggling, Ash is beaming and the cake is forgotten which is probably good as it’s likely no longer fit for human consumption. Breathless we finally slide down to the floor, leaning against the cupboards, covered in ingredients, wearing the biggest smiles and a whole lot of mess.
We turn to look at one another, huge grins adorning our faces, acting young and carefree was a tonic I never knew I needed. Being silly and childish is something I’ve never had the opportunity to be. Ash leans forward, his eyes focused entirely on my lips and I register he’s moving in for a kiss. I feel myself lean closer. His head dips until there’s no space left between us. His lips barely brush over mine, lingering for only a moment before he runs his tongue over the seam of them and pulls back agonisingly slowly “I never got to lick the bowl, so your lips were the next best option.” He winks
My lips tingle. I have to stop reaching for them and touching them. I think my heart momentarily stopped beating because now it’s starting back up again and the whoosh is deafening to my ears. It was nothing, barely counts as a kiss, but to me, it was my fairy tale dream come true. I want more.
“Well, I never got to either…” I leave the unspoken question in the air, wondering if I’m being too bold.
“You’re right, you missed out. How do we rectify that?” he muses, before wrapping his hand around my neck and pulling me back in as his lips crash to mine. This time he doesn’t hold back. Instead of stopping this time, my heart speeds up dangerously. I’m completely consumed by this kiss, by him, as my heart hammers in my chest.
When we finally pull apart I feel my face flush, he stares at me for what feels like an eternity before jumping to his feet and starting to clean up.
I sit there for a while, delirious over what just happened and when my racing heart resumes its normal beat I also rise. Our attempt at cake making may have failed but something else was achieved. I’m gutted about the cake, though because it would go down lovely right now.
We each start the tidy up process silently and in separate sections so we can’t start up again. I hop in the shower, then resign to my room for a journal update.
“Fliss.” Ash calls “We’re going out tonight. No arguing.”
I pause mid-way through updating my journal and slam it closed. I stroll from my room to his in a few steps carrying my journal as a shield. His door is open so I just walk in, he’s reclined on his bed, freshly showered, watching tv. “I’ll pass, Ash. I…”
“Nope.” He dismisses without even looking my way
“What do you mean – nope?”
“You’re coming out. As much as I’ve enjoyed keeping you to myself, my friends are highly suspicious and think I’ve made you up. You’re coming.”
“You’ve told your friends about me?” I gasp
He turns the tv off and angles his body to face me “Why wouldn’t I have?”
Oh, I don’t know. Because in my fantasy land I’ve managed to convince myself that you also have no friends, that only you and I exist and no one can penetrate the little bubble we’ve created. I thought he was a fellow hermit.
“What have you told them?” I ask nervously as I fidget on the spot. Great, more people to lie to. I can hold my own on a one to one basis but including others? I’ll never remember all the untruths.
His face breaks out into a wide smile and the dimples I discovered the first week break out on his face. I love those bloody dimples, they’re my weak spot for sure “This and that…”
I rub my hands over my face. I’ve been caught sleepwalking by him another three times since the naked incident and although those times didn’t involve my nakedness, they were still pretty embarrassing. I’ve started to think my sleepwalking is amplified by the sheer pressure and constant worry that I’ll be caught out, the guilt at being such a liar that causes me to do it even more. I also sleeptalk and am beyond scared that I’ll blurt out one of my untruths whilst asleep and he’ll find out.
“You didn’t?” I demand
“No idea what you’re on about.” He smirks
“There’s no way I’m coming if you’ve told them, Ashton!”
He barks out a laugh and my hands fly to my hips which makes him laugh even harder. I turn ready to storm out of his room.
“I haven’t said a word. But if you come it’ll level the playing field…”
Intrigued, I turn back around to face him “How so?”
“They have dirt on me, that I’m sure they’ll be only too pleased to share. They have endless amounts of stories they can fill you in on. We’ll be even on the embarrassment front.”
“I doubt it.” I mutter “If, and this is a big if I decide to come, where are we going and with how many of your friends?”
“It’s a surprise.”
“I don’t like surprises.”
“Wow, you’re cranky when derailed from normal procedure.”
“Ash, please…”
“I love when you beg, Fliss.” He winks and flashes that grin at me again, distracting me with those dimples “We’re just going to a bar down the street. I know how much you love your sleep… walking, so I’ll have you home at a decent hour. Don’t be a killjoy. Live a little.”
I roll my eyes at him “Dummer idiot.” I mutter before turning and stomping from his room. I hear his chuckle “I understood that one, Fliss, dumb idiot? You need to work on your insults.” I make it back to mine and shut the door with a little more force than needed and hear his continued chuckling at my stroppiness. I open the door and poke my head back out “It means stupid idiot, not dumb.” I close my door again ignoring him and the sound of his hysterics. It’s then I realise I left without finding out numbers. How many friends will I be expected to make small talk with tonight? And what the hell do I wear? I look at the latest onesie I’m currently wearing, a fetching giraffe design and my shoulders sag.
Stupid Ash and his stupid plans!
* * *
I avoided Ash all day. I needed time to prepare, and by prepare, I mean mentally. Wisely he didn’t seek me out either, he could probably sense he’d won this battle and if he wound me up it’d start a war. I chose an outfit, then another and another, until my room looked like it had been raided by the cops. I did my make up, then wiped it off, then repeated. Same with my hair. I styled it up, then down, then curled it, then straightened it. I’m bloody exhausted just from the getting ready ritual but as Ash taps on my door, I realise I’m out of time to prepare anymore. I reluctantly walk to it trying to maintain some semblance of composure when inside I’m quaking.
“Fliss, you ready?” he asks gently
I open my door as I chew on the inside of my mouth, just waiting for his scathing reaction to my outfit, which seems to be another quirk of his – mocking my clothing.
Instead, he’s silent and it’s something I’m so unused to I flick my eyes up to peer at him. His gaze roams all over me and I hear him inhale. I suck in a breath, preparing for the jibe that’s sure to follow.
“Wow! You look… wow.”
“Huh?” Slips from my lips in sheer confusion
“Is this for my benefit or my friends? Because I have to tell you, Fliss, I’m re-thinking taking you out now. Maybe we should stay in?”
“Is it that bad that you don’t even want to be seen in public with me? God, Ash I tried. I’m…”
He puts his hand over my mouth and stares at me with complete sincerity “Fliss, you look amazing. Can’t say I didn’t love the messy food look, but this? You look edible. I meant that I wanted to keep you to myself. If I take you out looking like that, my mates will be hitting on you all night.” His hand drops away and I mutter “Eh?”
He smiles “Not used to compliments, hey? Well, get ready because you’re going to be bombarded with them tonight – maybe try ‘thank you’ instead of ‘huh’ and ‘eh’, just a tip.” He raises his arm and gently tucks a stray lock of hair behind my ear, gazing at me as he does.
The world slows down for seconds as I’m held by those warm, brown eyes. Something shifts, he clears his throat and holds his arm out to me so I link mine through it, feeling all the more nervous now but for completely different reasons than before. Did we just have a moment? My inner Fliss does a little dance and squeal. Ash likes my outfit. I heard that you couldn’t go wrong with a little black dress and boy does that seem to be true. Being described as amazing and wow has me rethinking my day wear. Maybe it’s time to quit with the onesies and show him I can look wow all the time. The effort used to seem pointless, but then I never had anyone to appreciate it before. No one who would complement and flatter me. No one I wanted to look nice for. How else will I make him fall head over heels for me?
We leave the flat and take a leisurely walk down the street. The air is crisp and I soak up the sensation of not only being out but at night time no less and with a boy. Ash squeezes my arm reassuringly and I swear it makes me fall for him a little harder. Beneath all the ribbing and piss taking is a genuinely decent guy.
We walk past a few shops, then take a left through an alley before coming out the other side and stopping outside a small bar.
Ash holds the door open for me and I step into bright lights, loud chatter and what sounds like karaoke. The place is packed and my nerves kick in. New experience I repeatedly tell myself Embrace it.
“You’ll be fine.” Ash murmurs in my ear and his breath on me makes me tingle. He snatches up my hand, entwining our fingers and starts leading me over to a table in the corner where two guys and one woman sit smiling our way.
The woman jumps up from her seat as we approach and pulls me into an unexpected hug. My C cups squish into her neck and my face flames. Ash tries to release his hand but I hold on to it for dear life. When he manages to pry it away he circles his way around us, grinning at me as he shakes his hand out in pretend pain and lets me be manhandled by this pocket-size stranger. Traitor.
“It’s so good to finally meet you.” Strange woman says as she pulls back and studies me “We thought Ash had made you up.” She laughs. “But now I see why he’s kept you under lock and key. I’m Trina and I didn’t know what you liked to drink so I ordered us a pitcher to share.” She leads me to the table, motioning for me to slide in the booth next to Ash and then she blocks me in as she throws herself down next to me. I’m trapped.
“Tree, calm down. Take a breath for God’s sake woman.” One of the guys tells her.
She replies by flipping him off.
“Everyone, this is Fliss.” Ash tells the group and they all shout their hello’s to me. I smile and nod at their welcome. “Fliss, these are Jake, Nathan and Trina.” He points to the two guys as he introduces them and they both grin at me. Jake is blonde and wily, his grin lop-sided. Nathan has long brown hair and looks to be of the same build as Ash, he stares at me curiously whereas Jake blatantly ogles.
“Nice to meet you all,” I tell them
The guys start up a conversation between themselves, leaving me to feel like a spare part, but Trina nudges my arm and indicates the pitcher in front of her. It has two straws in it and she pushes it my way. “I’m not much of a drinker,” I say honestly.
“Honey, you’re going to need a drink to get through tonight. They’re leaving you alone for now but pretty soon they’re gonna be all over you wanting to know the ins and outs of your life.”
Before she’s even finished speaking my lips wrap around the straw and suck. I’ve never been drunk but if that’s what it takes to avoid any awkward questions that can trip me up then I’m all for it.
“Atta girl!” Trina giggles
The night rolls on by without any mishaps or overstepping, no interviewing of the new girl has taken place and I feel buzzed. If I knew alcohol created this carefree feeling I would’ve indulged in it a long time ago. Trina is lovely, she’s bubbly and friendly but there’s an edge to her, she’s someone I’d love to have as a friend. She’s about 5,5 and has a mass of long red hair. She’s sang karaoke three times already and even though her voice is shockingly bad she gets raucous applause and doesn’t seem to care how she’s received because she’s just enjoying herself. I’ve noticed Ash and the others keeping a watchful eye on her all night, it’s obvious how much they care about her and I find myself wishing yet again, that I had friends, people to be important to.
She slides back in next to me and puts her mouth to my ear “I need to pee. Come with me.”
She stands up and waits for me to join her but I don’t know why I need to. Why does she need me to hold her hand while she pees? Is this the norm, what girls do? Or is she trying to save me from being left with all three guys? On that thought, I spring from my seat and follow her to the ladies.
She doesn’t go into the cubicle but stands in front of the mirror reapplying her lipstick. I stand watching her. “So, how do you like living with Ash?” She asks
“So far so good.” I reply
“Really?”
“Yes. It’s taken a bit of getting used to living with a guy but I think we’re doing okay. Why? Has he said otherwise?”
She throws her head back and laughs “It’s okay, Fliss, you don’t need to be so guarded. He’s been pretty tight-lipped where you’re conc
erned. I just wondered how you’re putting up with him?”
“Oh.” I breathe a sigh of relief “Well, he is pretty exhausting.”
Her eyes twinkle “I knew it! He’s got you into bed already hasn’t he?”
“What?! No. I meant his personality, it’s tiring just keeping up with someone so… chipper.”
“Ash – chipper?” she shakes her head “Must be the effect you have on him then. He’s been nothing but grim the last few months.”
“Are we talking about the same guy?”
“I’m glad you’re making him happy again, Fliss. Seeing him down was hard to watch.”
“Why was he down?”
She turns towards me and stares as though she’s trying to figure out whether she should say any more. He’s her long- time friend, I’m just the girl he currently lives with. An outsider.
“Just some stuff with his parents. Not my place to say really.” She shrugs like it’s no big deal and resumes studying herself in the mirror.
I love how she tries to give me a heads up without betraying her loyalty to her friend. But now I’m curious.
“He’s cheered me up too. So I guess we’re even.”
She studies me again as though she’s about to ask why I was sad and then thinks better of it. There’s friendly and then there’s overstepping. She seems to recognise the fine line between them. Her nose crinkles and she sighs “ Look Fliss, I don’t want to be one of ‘those’ people but I need to say this, he’s a good guy, one of my best friends and I know you’re just flatmates but please don’t let him down. He’s been used enough and deserves so much more.”
My heart drops because the thought of him being used and let down makes my insides contract, but also, because I know I’m about to tell another lie. “Trina, I… I have no intention of using him or hurting him or anything else you think I might do. We’re friends and I don’t treat my friends like that.” I gulp as I realise that rolled off my tongue easier than it should have. My first lie to this woman; he’s definitely going to be hurt when I finally tell him my truth and he’ll definitely feel used.
