Cherished

by Christina Bauer

  “That she had visions where I would ensure his death.” I couldn’t help the sneer that crept into my voice. “She didn’t seem too upset about it, either.”

  “She only ever cared for Storm,” said Kade.

  Amelia frowned. “What’s the story with him anyway?”

  “Storm was a great warrior. The man was a folk hero. When he was abducted—”

  “Wait,” I interrupted. “I thought he ran off.”

  “When someone like Viktor charms you into leaving your life behind, what do you call that? I think he was taken from us. Mother was always pushing him to be more than he was. I think she hoped Viktor would make Storm all-powerful.” Kade’s green eyes glazed over with pain. “She supported Viktor’s bid to take the throne from our father, you know.”

  “Yes,” I said gently. “She told me about that.”

  Kade shook his head. “Well, if Mother says you’re here to destroy Rowan, then you’re quite possibly his only chance to win this upcoming fight. But before I tell you where to find him, I need to know one thing. What are you to my brother?”

  An image popped into my mind: my mating band. That was no one’s business, though. “I’m a friend.”

  “You’re lying.” Kade winked. Evidently, he was the carefree brother. Why can’t I fall for the lighthearted ones? “And Rowan is most likely in his chambers. The top floor of the castle. Hard to miss.”

  “Thank you.” I heard their happy chatter behind me as I took off.

  After talking with Kade and Amelia, I felt even more resolved to fix this. No matter what, I wouldn’t stand by while Rowan fought Shujaa

  Chapter Sixteen

  I hiked up the castle’s circular staircase. On the third level, I found two guards in red leathers standing on either side of a large wooden door. There were no other entrances around.

  I scanned both warriors carefully. Their faces were covered by leather helms; tall wooden spears were gripped in their right fists. As women, the two guards had long and lean bodies. Most likely, they were the wily and fast kind of fighters. That could prove tricky for me, considering how I needed time to pull in magick and speak an incantation. It was true that I still wore Petra’s totem ring, but that thing was only loaded with transport spells.

  And I wasn’t going anywhere. No one could keep me from getting answers now.

  Focusing my mage senses, I reached out for Necromancer power. The energy flowed into me, prickling across my skin. I flexed my left hand, ready to focus and cast.

  The guards saw my movement and immediately stepped aside. “You may enter,” said the first warrior.

  I tilted my head. Things are never this easy for me. “Wait…You know that I’m the Tsarina, and that’s fine with you?”

  “We’ve been informed,” added the second guard. “Genesis Rex is inside his chambers right now. He’s expecting you.”

  “Oh.” The moment the sound escaped my lips I wished I had uttered a better comment. After all, it seemed like a true Tsarina would have something more formal to say than “Oh.” I looked down at the scanty leather scarves that made up my outfit.

  Then again, perhaps this Tsarina simply said, “Oh” and got out of view as soon possible. I gripped the metal latch and twisted it. The door slid open easily.

  I stepped inside.

  I didn’t know what I expected from Rowan’s chambers, but the interior caught me by surprise. The space was as close to being outdoors as possible. All the floors and walls were made of mossy stones that were framed with massive silver trees. Other thinner trunks twisted into furniture shapes. One nest of vines even wrapped about a living fountain. Small and colorful birds played in the waters. More bright-hued flowers decorated the walls, all of them planted to create great swirling patterns.

  Warmth filled my veins. This place was lovely.

  Rowan stood by a window hole, his body in profile as he stared intently at the castle grounds outside. He braced his right arm against the wall, a movement that also held back what looked like a curtain of living vines. The dying sunlight played across the planes of bare muscle on his chest. Like me, he hadn’t changed since the ceremony. There was no missing the long shadows of weariness that darkened his handsome face. Worry weighed down my heart. How long had Shujaa been stealing his power? I forced my face into a mask of calm.

  “Hello, Rowan.”

  “Elea.” His gaze stayed locked on whatever was happening outside the window. I stepped up to Rowan’s side. Down below in the gardens, Jicho and Kade were crouched beside Amelia, who was building a sundial out of bits of wood and stone. They weren’t fighting, which seemed to be a good thing. The shadows were lengthening as the sun set behind them. I hadn’t realized how long the ceremony had lasted.

  I gestured to the view. “It seems Amelia and Kade share a love of all things mechanical.”

  Rowan arched his brows. “Give it a moment.”

  Within a few seconds, Amelia and Kade began arguing over the placement of the sundial. Jicho watched the interplay with a knowing smile. The young boy leaned his head forward. A play of black veins appeared on his chest and shoulders for a moment, and then disappeared. Then Jicho raised his head and replaced the sundial components into what appeared to be the perfect configuration.

  “Jicho had a vision of where that should go, didn’t he?” I asked.

  “Yes. My brother is a strong Seer.”

  “And your mother?”

  Rowan lowered his arm, allowing the vines to swing down and cover the window. He turned his attention to me. “Zoriah is almost as powerful. She could be better, but she’s too ambitious. Being a Seer means being open to all future outcomes, without any preference.”

  A long pause followed. Rowan scanned me from head to foot, but he had his unreadable face on. It was most vexing, especially when there was so much to discuss, I didn’t know where to begin. As a Necromancer, I didn’t care what most people felt, but Rowan was the exception to every rule. A little hint of his emotions might help here, but it was clear that wouldn’t be coming. At least, not right now. I decided to start with my biggest worry.

  “I used magick to spy on Shujaa last night. He stole some of your power in order to make one of those golden warriors.”

  Rowan nodded. “That’s been going on for a few months now. Kade and I have tried to track him down, but he’s evaded us so far. I’m fairly certain my mother is helping him, but she’s been too careful for us to catch her in the act.” The muscles in his neck tightened. “The challenge tonight came as a relief. Shujaa can’t use Viktor’s totem armor on the fighting grounds. We’ll end this, one way or another.”

  “I want to help you fight.”

  Rowan kept staring out the window, his face in profile. “You know I don’t want your life at risk. Besides, Kade will be my second in the battle.”

  “He’ll replace you if you’re killed?”

  “That’s not how it works with Casters. He’ll fight at my side. It’s already set.”

  I opened my mouth, ready to say that I wanted to fight at his side. But did I really? Besides, we had other topics to cover first. I decided to go for a general question. “What are you thinking right now?”

  Rowan turned to face me for the first time. The intensity in his green eyes took my breath away. “I’m wondering what you thought of the ceremony.”

  In other words, did I still think he was betrothed to Amelia? Part of me wanted to rail at him for withholding information. But he had tried to explain things to me many times. I was partly to blame as well, so I straightened my back and prepared to own up to my mistake. “I was wrong about your being betrothed to Amelia. I assumed your culture was like mine.”

  His expression stayed still as stone. “And?”

  “Engagements don’t mean the same thing to you. I see that now.” On reflex, my hand brushed across my neck, where my betrothal ring would normally be hanging on a chain. It was still hidden under my pillow, though. Rowan noticed the movement, and I wondered if
he was thinking the same thing I was—the same questions Zoriah posed.

  Was ours a false mating? Was it a mating at all?

  That conversation felt far too overwhelming, though. I was pleased when Rowan steered our talk onto safer ground. “So, what do you think happened at my engagement?”

  “You made a deal with Amelia for the Sword of Theodora.”

  “That’s right.” Some of the shadows on his face seemed to lessen. “Viktor is in exile, but I doubt he’ll stay there forever.”

  I nodded. “As much as I hate the fact that you’re right? You’re right.”

  “The Sword of Theodora might be the only way to kill him.”

  “That might not be so easy, at least for me. When we fought Viktor the last time, he showed me that our powers were linked. If he dies, I might die as well.”

  “I don’t know how much value I put on tricks from Viktor. But even if that is true, it’s all the more reason to use the Sword of Theodora. It is unstoppable and follows the intent of the bearer. If we want to kill Viktor and leave you alive, then the Sword of Theodora will make that happen.” He tilted his head. “So you understand why I need it so badly?”

  “I understand. And I spoke to Amelia after the ceremony. She confirmed that you made it clear that your arrangement wasn’t a real betrothal.”

  He let out a long breath. “Thank you for saying that.”

  I raised my hands, palms forward. “Wait a moment. You’re not getting off so easily.”

  A small smile curved his full mouth. “I’m not?”

  “Four words, Rowan.” I counted them off on my fingers. “You. Don’t. Trust. Me.”

  He shook his head. “Elea…”

  “You don’t. You knew for weeks what kind of deal you’d put together with Amelia. All during that time, you could have told me what you were planning. In fact, I might have even been able to look around for the Sword of Theodora, too.” I hated how my voice cracked as I spoke. “Why didn’t you tell me?”

  Rowan’s gaze intensified. “Because of Tristan.”

  I took a half step backward. Of all the reasons I thought Rowan would give, my one-time best friend wasn’t on the list. “Tristan? The man who tricked me into taking on a curse?”

  “Yes. And ‘tricked’ is the right word there. Tristan wanted you to train as a Necromancer.”

  “I’m not sure what that proves. He told me that himself. He said it was the only way to protect me from Viktor. Once I became trained Necromancer, I could fight off both Viktor and the Vicomte. Otherwise, Viktor would have abducted me, given me his mark, and drained all my power.”

  “There’s more to it than that. All the things you can do with hybrid magick? There are hidden levels to Tristan’s motivations, mark my words.”

  I hugged my elbows. “Tristan visited me last night. He gave me the totem ring that helped me spy on Shujaa.”

  “All the more reason to suspect him. How many ghosts hand out totem rings? I’m not even a Necromancer, and I know that.”

  The old anger coursed through my limbs. “He just keeps lying to me.”

  “Even worse, he didn’t you give you a choice in your life.”

  “Choice.” My gaze locked with Rowan’s. “Like the blackbird and the dove.”

  “Yes. By placing the curse on you, Tristan took away your ability to choose. I won’t ever do that.”

  My mind sifted through all the engagements I’d witnessed in the ceremony. Mated couples always approached the Hadithi together. “All Caster engagements have two sides to the deal. What was your part with Amelia? Keeping her safe?”

  “Yes.”

  “There are also consequences if she gets you the sword and you don’t keep her safe. What if she still got hurt?”

  Rowan shook his head. “You’re too smart, Elea.”

  I couldn’t fight my grin. I was closing in on the truth and I knew it. “Answer the question.”

  “In that case, I’d suffer her pain for her. I would take on whatever she endured, including death. You saw how the threads of the fabric tie lit up for a real engagement. It’s a magickal binding.”

  “And are Casters’ mates are also bound by their engagements?”

  Rowan sighed. “Only if they knew about the engagement before the magick was enacted.”

  “So you were protecting me.”

  “Yes. Trying to.”

  “But that means you’re still making decisions for me. I would still have wanted to know about the engagement.”

  “If you’d known about the engagement beforehand, there would have been choice. You would have been involved magically forever. I couldn’t risk your life and remove your choices, not in that way. The ceremony with Amelia took place right before the battle with Viktor. I had planned to tell you afterwards.”

  “But then I wasn’t talking to you.” I scrubbed my hands over my face. “This is all the blackbird and the dove again.”

  “This must be your choice.” The lines of his face deepened with intensity. This was tearing him apart inside. “There are still things I can’t tell you. I wish with all my soul it were different.”

  I moved so we were standing face-to-face with only inches separating us. “There must be something you can do to move things forward.”

  Rowan slowly drew his fingertips up my right arm. Wherever we touched, my skin felt on fire. “There is one way.”

  At last, progress!

  “Name it.”

  He brushed his fingertip along my jawline. “Tell me what you want for your life, Elea.”

  Yet again, the conversation had veered into unexpected territory. I blinked hard, wondering if I had misheard him. “You want to know my life goals? Right now?”

  “Yes. You have your farm back. Is that what you want for your future?”

  “Oh, I see what you mean.” My shoulders slumped as I thought about my great plan to return to Braddock Farm. “At one point, I wanted to be a farmer. Now, I don’t know.”

  His palm rested against my cheek. “Meaning?”

  “That Elea is gone. I gave some of my lands to my tenants, Mabel and Sam. Sometimes I think, maybe I’ll give them everything. I don’t know.”

  “Are you serious?”

  I nodded. Admitting failure wasn’t my favorite pastime.

  “That’s very brave,” said Rowan. He wrapped his arms around me and pulled me in close. Tilting my head, I leaned against his chest. This felt so good. Rowan and me. Together. Why couldn’t life be like this between us, only without so many problems? I realized he was still staring at me and waiting for an answer. I inhaled a long breath. This wasn’t going to be pleasant to admit.

  “I don’t want to be a farmer.” The words tasted like failure. “For five long years, I’d done everything I could to return to my old life. But when I got there? Maybe I’d changed too much. I mean, I worked the land and all that, but I wasn’t doing it out of joy anymore.”

  “And what about being Tsarina? Is that what you want?”

  “Honestly, I don’t know that either. Petra wants me to rule.” I searched my heart, looking for anything else that could be part of my future.

  Was Rowan part of it? I wanted him to be alive and well, but did I really want to share my future with him?

  I certainly wanted him to be in my life, but what did that mean? Would I be a queen, a consort, something else? It begged an obvious question. “What about you? Do you enjoy being Genesis Rex?”

  “It’s not a question of enjoy. It’s who I am. I won’t leave my people.” He rubbed my back in soothing circles. “And I know you, Elea. You won’t leave yours, either. At some point, the Necromancers will need you, and you’ll heed their call. Petra won’t find another Tsarina, and you know it.”

  I frowned. “Someone else could rise.”

  “Only if you fall. You brought those mages back from the dead. As long as you live, you’d be a threat to whoever held the Necromancer crown.”

  His words made my insides squirm, mostly becau
se they were true. “I could stay here with you until—” I stopped myself before finishing the thought, because the logic was obvious.

  I could stay until my people needed me. Then, I’d have to go.

  I sighed. “This is impossible, isn’t it?”

  “Nothing is impossible if you want it enough.” He leaned back until our gazes met. The look in his eyes turned intense again. “Why did you want to be a farmer?”

  “My parents were farmers. They died when I was an infant, and Braddock was all I had left of them. Being on the farm made me feel close to them.”

  “And how does casting spells make you feel?”

  “Alive.” I worried my lower lip with my teeth. “I see where you’re going with this. I need to decide what I want, regardless of my parents or Petra or even you.” I shook my head. “I wish I had an answer for you right now, but I simply don’t know what I want.”

  His gaze stayed intense, but beyond that, I had no idea what Rowan was thinking. Per usual. “Then we wait.”

  I tried my best to frown. However, it turned out that wasn’t an easy thing to do when Rowan’s arms were still around me. “You’re still lying to me. Don’t think I can’t tell. It’s a lie of omission.”

  “Yes.” He leaned forward and began kissing my neck. My body instantly heated.

  Even so, I was able to keep my focus on the topic at hand. “And these lies of omission, you think they’re for my own safety.”

  “Yes.”

  “Forget it. I’ll find out all your secrets anyway.”

  “I certainly hope not.” He kissed a spot behind my ear. “I’ve gone to great lengths to keep you in the dark.”

  “That’s why you have Jicho following me around.”

  He nodded.

  “This isn’t the way to build trust, you know.”

  “Oh, I disagree. I think you trust me more and more each day.” He kept kissing along my jawline until his lips were only a breath above my own.

  “Maybe. A little.” I opened my mouth, ready to speak. Instead, I ended up kissing Rowan like my life depended on it. My arms looped around his firm shoulders. Our kiss deepened. Rowan’s tongue crossed my lips, and I lost all sanity. Somehow, I got the idea to wrap my legs around his waist.