by Mandy Harbin
He was a piece of shit, the worst kind. For him to have been able to kill an innocent baby, that’d make him a monster. He was no better than Marco Collins. Thinking otherwise would make him a hypocrite.
What do you think killers do, dumbass? They kill people. Maybe he justified that before by thinking he was eliminating other criminals. If he’d killed other killers, drug dealers, human traffickers and similar scum, he was ridding the world of losers who caused people harm. But thinking he killed a defenseless baby? Oh God. He jumped up from the chair he’d been sitting in at Blade’s kitchen table and bolted for the bathroom, dropped to the floor, and hurled his guts.
“Brutus?”
Brody heard Blade at the door, but couldn’t stop vomiting to answer. Once he started, the roaring in his ears seemed to purge his brain as his stomach purged its contents.
“Gage will be here in two minutes. I’ll, er, find you some crackers or something.”
As Brody retched, the burning in his eyes escalated to full-on tears. He gasped to catch his breath and sobbed just before puking again. He continued the cycle of vomiting and crying until his stomach was empty and he was dry heaving. He’d never be able to face Xan again, and that knowledge was almost as painful as realizing Colonel was right. He slumped to the floor, covered his face and tried to take deep breaths to calm down. Under any other circumstance, he’d feel like such a pussy right now, but all he felt was revulsion.
He grabbed the counter and hoisted himself up. He washed his face and finger-brushed his teeth with some of Blade’s toothpaste, refusing to look at himself in the mirror. Then he pulled the thong from his hair and retied it before joining Blade.
And Gage, he saw once he entered the living room.
“You okay? Stupid fuckin’ question. Of course you’re not.” Blade sighed. “I’ve got some crackers and Sprite in the kitchen.”
He turned and Blade and Gage followed him to the table. Brody didn’t deserve to feel better, but he knew he still had a job to do, so he picked up the soda and started drinking it.
“I’ve already filled Gage in on what happened.”
“You mean that I’m a baby killer? Good. One less thing to talk about.” He picked up the crackers and slumped into the nearest chair.
“Brutus, man, we’ll get to the bottom of this,” Gage said, taking the seat next to him. “I’ve already told Blade everything.”
Brody raised an eyebrow, wondering if everything included the info he’d found on the undercover agents.
Gage nodded in response. “Yeah, everything. He knows everything we do.” He locked eyes with Blade. “And it stays between us. Not that I have a problem with authority. I know I’m the new kid on the block around here, and I sure as hell don’t want to piss off the boss man, but this is sensitive shit we’re dealing with. It’s nothing personal.”
“Got it,” Blade said, picking up the beer he’d been nursing while pouring Jack down Brody’s throat. “So what all do we know?”
“We know that Xan discovered incriminating evidence against her husband and turned to the FBI. We know that sometime between her seeking help and getting shot, Collins found out. After that, it’s just speculation. We think that one of the FBI agents was dirty and ratted her out to Collins.”
“The only suspicious ones at this point are Dave Simmons, her agent at the time she went into witness protection, and Jeff Coleman, her contact agent up until the night she was attacked,” Brody said after finishing his cracker.
“Simmons is retired and living in Prairie County. Coleman is still on the lam.”
“That still doesn’t make sense that Simmons would place Xan and Scott in his hometown,” Blade said, leaning forward. “That alone makes him suspicious.”
“I need to go out there and check it out,” Brody mumbled. Damn, his head was pounding from the alcohol in his bloodstream and violently puking.
“No good, Brutus. Your assignment is to stay on Xan and Scott,” Gage said, shaking his head.
But Brody couldn’t bring himself to see her now. Or Scott. He knew he had a job to do, but he needed time to deal with this new revelation.
“You can do it.” Gage slapped Brody’s back, obviously reading the reluctance on his face. “I still have people working on Coleman’s location, so we can’t do anything about him tonight. I’ll check out the farm. You,” he looked over at Blade, “help keep an eye out on the Bradley house tonight. Brutus is in no condition to do it himself.”
“You got it.”
Oh God, Brody wasn’t ready to see Xan. His stomach churned, so he grabbed more crackers.
It was going to be a long night. Better get used to it. He had a job to do and a woman to avoid. Any attraction he was allowing himself to embrace before was now off-limits.
She deserved better than the likes of him.
* * * * *
Xan passed by the Sheppard’s Garage wrecker on her way back home Saturday morning after grocery shopping. She saw the long, blond hair and sunglasses concealing those deep-blue eyes she knew all too well. Yet, Brody didn’t even so much as look at her when she waved at him.
Her Viking was avoiding her.
She had half a mind to whip this old Pinto around and follow him, demand some answers. They were not an item, but they’d been intimate, and now he was just brushing her off? That didn’t make sense.
Unless Brody really was part of the FBI team watching over her, and Jack tipped him off about her suspicions regarding him. Wouldn’t that just suck? It wasn’t as if Jack owed her any loyalty. He was on the job, and if Brody was tasked with watching over her, then he was on the job too. If she was both of their assignment, then they had an obligation to share notes.
Oh Jesus, she hoped those notes didn’t include how she liked to scream when Brody was pounding away inside her. She felt her face flush at the thought of him sitting around, talking about the intimate details of their lives.
But even if Brody was an agent—and that was a big if—he was also a man. She’d already deduced that if he stuck to her like glue because she was a job, he wasn’t wearing his FBI hat in the sack. That was purely the man, not the agent, or hired help of her agent, whatever the case may be. But she’d like to know.
Boy, would she like to know.
And maybe he wasn’t sticking to her like glue now because he didn’t have anything to do with her case. Maybe he’d just gotten his fill of her. Ugh, the man was infuriating.
Resisting the urge to follow, she turned down her street and parked her car. She carried in and put away the frozen foods first, then came back out for the canned goods. She noticed Roxie supervising Chad putting a spare tire on her car.
“Hey,” Xan called as she started to grab the last bag.
“Hi, girl. Come on over.” Roxie motioned for her to join them, so Xan left the lone bag in her car and headed across the street.
“What happened? You get a flat?” As if that wasn’t obvious.
“Yeah,” Roxie sighed. “Chad’s changin’ it now. Don’t know what happened. I guess I hit some glass last night or something coming from the game ’cause it was plumb flat this mornin’.
“No telling. At least you didn’t get stranded somewhere.”
“No lie. I’m glad Chad was here this mornin’ to fix it. So, whatcha been out doin’?
“Shopping.”
“All done, Mom. You should head over to Sheppard’s and get them to replace it. You don’t need to be drivin’ around on this donut.”
“Yes, son,” Roxie said, chuckling, then turned to Xan. “Wanna come? I could use some girl talk.”
Xan stiffened at the idea of running into Brody. He’d been avoiding her, and the last thing she wanted to do was go crawling around him like some stray dog, begging for attention. “I-I don’t think—”
“Oh, c’mon now. Please? I don’t wanna sit up there all by my lonesome. They don’t even have a TV in the waitin’ room.”
Well, Brody did leave in the wrecker, so he should
be gone a while. That thought gave her the encouragement she needed to say yes. She didn’t mind going if she didn’t have to face him and the humiliation of an in-person rejection. “Sure. Just let me get the last of my bags in.”
“Goodie!” Roxie clapped her hands and Xan shook her head with a smile as she walked across the street back to her car. She grabbed the last of the bags, shut the hatchback, and carried it inside. She yelled to Scott that she was going with Roxie to get her tire fixed and headed back outside. Roxie was already in her driveway.
Xan climbed into the car and turned down the awful country music.
“What’s goin’ on with Brutus? He still avoiding you?”
They’d just had this conversation last night at the boys’ football game. “Nothing’s changed since last night, Roxie.”
“Well, I’ve been thinkin’ about your little predicament,” Roxie said as she tucked her hair behind her ear. “That night we went out, you told me about people watchin’ you. Maybe he knows something about that?”
Hmm. That was what Xan wondered too, but why would Roxie consider that a possibility. “I don’t know who it could be. Why do you say that?”
“Because he always kept to himself, except when he banged some bimbo, but even then he tended to go out of town to pick up some chicks. Then you come to town, and he’s on you like bees to a daffodil.”
Xan smiled. “Maybe he’s just trying to pollinate me.”
Roxie giggled. “I know, right? Men. Always thinking with their peckers.” She waved her hand and turned up the air conditioner even though they were about to pull into the garage. “It’s already September, you’d think it’d cool down already. Anyway, what I’m sayin’ is that maybe he has a reason for, um, for—”
“Fucking me?” Xan prompted, and Roxie blushed. “Honestly? I thought about that, but I can’t be sure. It doesn’t really matter now since he’s treating me like some diseased outcast.”
“Oh, hush up. He is not. He’s a man. Didn’t I just say that men think with their wee-wees? You just need to speak a language he understands,” Roxie said as she turned off her car in front of the empty bay.
They both got out and entered the lobby. Colonel walked over, wiping his hands on a grease cloth. “Hello, ladies. How can I help you?”
“Hey there, Colonel. My tire’s flat. Chad changed it and threw it in the trunk. Can you fix it for me?” She handed him her keys. Xan didn’t miss her glancing at the bays, probably seeking out Bear. Except for the one time Roxie had confessed what happened, she never spoke of him, but knowing the truth, Xan could see the hurt in Roxie’s eyes.
“Sure thing. It may be a while. We’re shorthanded at the moment.”
“That’s okay. We’ll wait.”
Xan followed Roxie to the couch and sat beside her, figuring she shouldn’t bring up Bear and instead thinking about the last thing Roxie had said before getting out of the car. “What do you mean I need to speak his language? He’s a man, not an alien.”
Roxie leaned back, crossing her arms over her perfect body and raising an eyebrow at her. “How long has it been since you’ve been with a man?”
“Umm, a week?” Xan shrugged innocently, knowing that wasn’t the answer Roxie was looking for.
“I don’t mean with Brutus, you dork. I mean before him.”
“A while.” She was not going to be specific. Oh hell, no.
“Okay, look. Maybe you’re just out of practice then. I do know you’re under some kind of protection—”
“Shhhh.” Xan swatted Roxie’s shoulder. Jesus, why didn’t she just take out a dang ad in the paper? Xan Bradley, prude, is on the run from her ex-husband, Marco Collins.
“Sorry,” she whispered. “Any-hoo, I think maybe you haven’t had too many opportunities to keep from getting rusty.”
Lord have mercy. Xan needed to find the exit to get off this horror ride right now. “Get to the point.”
“Seduce him.” Roxie smiled crookedly at Xan.
“Seduce him? How?” They’d already had sex. If she threw herself at him and he turned her down, she wouldn’t even take the time to go find a hole to crawl in because that’d take too long. Nope, she’d just dig one where she stood.
“Remember the night at the club? You went out and bought a kick-ass outfit, and he couldn’t keep his hands off you.”
“I can’t afford to run out and buy something sexy every time I want to get him into bed. Besides, if he doesn’t want me for me, then I’m not interested.” Her vagina was calling foul on that.
“Oh, honey. You don’t have to do that every time. Just every now and then to remind him what he’s missing. Besides, I wasn’t really talkin’ about outer clothes. I was thinking more along the lines of lingerie.” She wagged her eyebrows, biting her lower lip.
“Good grief. How in the world would he see me in that if I can’t get him alone? I’ve only seen him on the road a few times. I can’t exactly drive around in a teddy.”
“Invite him over—”
“No.” Xan was already shaking her head.
“Scott can stay the night with—”
“Uh-uh.”
“Chad. And you can have the house all to—”
“No way.”
“Yourself. Why? You can’t tell me you’re chicken? Bwok, bwok.” She put her hands in her armpits and started flapping her arms. “Bwok, bwok!”
“Shut up,” Xan hissed, grabbing one of her arms before Roxie stood and did the damn chicken dance in the middle of the garage lobby.
Roxie giggled as she relaxed back into her seat. “C’mon. Give it some thought. It’s not like either of you are goin’ anywhere. Mark my words. You wear the right thing, and you’ll have him eatin’ right out of your hands, girl. Besides, you could use a little some-some.”
Xan sighed and started to say something when the door to the lobby opened. She turned and stared right into her Viking’s dark-blue eyes. His sunglasses were resting on his head, sweat trickling down his brow. Damn, she wanted to get up and lick it off his body. But knowing that was a really bad idea no matter how much her vagina was seconding it, she couldn’t seem to tear her eyes away from him.
And he just stood there, staring back, his eyes dilating so quickly the blue bled to black before her eyes, the heat in them unmistakable. Oh yeah, he wanted her, so why was he resisting?
But as he stood there, the passion in his gaze shifted to sadness, and then something dark, almost devastating. He swallowed a few times, licked his lips, then looked at his feet and rubbed his nape under the hair tie, mussing the sweaty strands that clung to his neck.
“Everything all right with your car?”
It was obvious he was speaking to Xan, but the fact that he looked away from her hurt. She tamped down that unfamiliar feeling and cleared her throat. “Yeah. Roxie had a flat, and she wanted me to keep her company while it was fixed.”
He nodded and looked up—at Roxie. “You’ve been waitin’ long?”
“Not too long.” She shrugged.
“Um, I’ll go see if anyone’s started on it. If not, I’ll take care of it.”
And then he left the lobby without another glance at Xan.
“Hmmm. That boy is fightin’ some major demons. Did you see that face? Bless his heart. I don’t think it’s anything you did, honey. I think you need to comfort him. And the best way to do that is to wrap your pussy around his cock,” she whispered.
“Roxie!” Sheesh. “He hardly looked at me. Kinda hard to offer comfort when someone is avoiding you.”
“Oh, now don’t be a sourpuss. You know what they say—you catch more flies with honey than you do vinegar.”
Xan took a deep breath. Maybe she really did need Roxie’s advice. At the least, she needed to get Brody to talk to her about his change of heart. “Fine,” she relented. “How do you propose I do that?”
“Easy. Douse yourself in honey and go catch that fly. Let him spend all night licking it off your body.”
If only i
t were that easy.
Chapter Sixteen
Brody watched as Roxie and Xan pulled out of the garage, a heavy feeling in his chest. He’d busted ass to get a new tire on Roxie’s wheel, get her tires balanced, and get them the hell out of here. God, he’d missed Xan like crazy, and seeing her was like pouring a pound of salt on an open wound, one he’d created himself by denying any contact with her.
One he’d created years ago by killing her daughter.
That was still a bitter pill to swallow, but he had no other choice than to face the facts. It was the only conclusion that made sense because the only memories he had of her was when she’d been all dolled up, and from Gage’s, Blade’s and Brody’s research, the only time in her life when she’d dressed in designer clothes like that was when she was married to Collins. Add that to the fact Brody had been in some mysterious accident that by all accounts should’ve left him for dead, rather than with a case of amnesia, that could’ve happened around the time of Xan’s marriage to Collins—it really didn’t bode well for Brody. Collins could’ve tried to ice him after he killed the baby to cover it up. He tried every angle to refute those possibilities and came up horribly short. And disappointed.
And utterly devastated.
He’d been a wreck this past week, growling around the garage like a lion with a sore paw. And the truth was he was a man with an aching heart. He couldn’t deny his feelings for Xan anymore. He was in love with her. And he fucking destroyed her life. He didn’t deserve to be in the same room with her, much less buried in her body. Hell, he didn’t even deserve to fantasize about her. His ass should be locked up on death row, if not already gassed.
He hadn’t allowed himself to look at her even when he was keeping an eye on her place. He’d seen her car in the driveway and knew she was home, but he kept to the shadows and watched for any signs of unfriendly activity at night, and made sweeps of her house during the day while she was at work and Scott was at school. And he thought just being in her house was the worst form of torture. Hell, seeing all the places he’d touched her body and smelling her lingering vanilla scent was bad. But seeing her just now? That was pure agony.
