Stone of Destiny
Page 13
“There’s another way to look at it, considering when he wrote it. I think he was trying to tell you that he loved you across time before he ever met you – that he had been waiting for you without even realizing it.” Kristen looked at her expectantly to see if she understood.
“You’re right,” Abbie said slowly. It fit with some other things he had said to her, looking at it from that viewpoint. She would have seen it that way if he'd told her what it meant when he first gave it to her. “Thank you for helping me see that.”
“No problem. That’s what I’m here for, right? That, and dinner.” She laughed and helped Abbie set things on the table.
Later, as Abbie went to bed, she thought she heard Gavin’s voice calling her. Even though she knew that wasn’t possible, the thought crossed her mind that maybe he also heard her whenever she spoke of him.
***
As the days slowly passed, Abbie continued to struggle with her feelings of loss and loneliness. She forced herself to go out in the world each day and found that keeping busy helped. It was time to start thinking about a job, if not immediate employment, at least in terms of a future career choice.
There was no getting around the crushing pain she experienced at night though. Gavin filled her dreams. Reliving their times together each night brought both joy and a renewed sense of grief each morning as she woke. Abbie started dreading the mornings.
This morning she needed to force herself out of bed and get moving. She'd promised Kristen she would meet her for breakfast at a little sidewalk café down by the beach. The weather was perfect and Abbie actually looked forward to the outing. She'd been noticing her wan appearance lately in the mirror. A bit of sun would do her good.
They sat down and placed their orders, relaxing in the warmth of the late morning. The gulls swooped and called to each other, keeping a vigilant eye on the diners in hopes of a tidbit being thrown their way.
Their food came in the midst of conversation and Abbie continued to talk while Kristen ate. She enjoyed sharing her life with a sympathetic listener now as she began to rebuild her life. It made the rough spots easier to handle.
“You’re pushing your food around on the plate instead of eating it.” Kristen stopped eating to voice her concern.
“I don’t eat much in the morning. Besides, everything tastes funny. Maybe I’m coming down with a cold.” Even the orange juice left her feeling queasy.
Kristen looked at her funny. “You sound just like my sister.”
Abbie smiled. “Why? Doesn’t she like breakfast either?”
“No, she’s pregnant.”
Abbie sat with a stunned expression on her face. With everything else that had happened in rapid succession to her life lately, she'd never even considered the possibility. Could she really be carrying Gavin’s child? She was suddenly fearful of getting her hopes up, in case she wasn’t.
“Ohmigod! Do you think you’re pregnant? Abbie? Abbie!”
Kristen had been trying to get her attention for several moments apparently, since she reached out and grabbed her hand.
“What?” She must have a deer-in-the-headlights look on her face.
“Do you think you’re pregnant? That would be wonderful…wouldn’t it?” Kristen suddenly wasn’t sure if Abbie would think so or not.
“Yes, that would be absolutely wonderful.” Abbie smiled at her friend. “I’m just afraid of being disappointed.”
“Then get rid of the suspense. Go buy a test today.”
Abbie felt giddy. “I will. Right now, in fact.” She called for the check, hugged Kristen and left as fast as she could.
“Call me!” Kristen shouted after her.
After a stop at the drugstore, Abbie unpackaged the kit at home with nerveless fingers. She waited for the longest three minutes of her life for the little digital readout to give her the result she so desperately needed to see, but at last it did – she was pregnant.
Life suddenly took on a whole new meaning for her. The knowledge that she carried their child was bittersweet. Gavin would never experience the joy with her, but Abbie would have a part of him to love and nurture. She burst into tears but they were happy ones finally.
Feeling energized, Abbie swung into action. After calling Kristen to give her the good news, she made an appointment with her doctor. Then she sat down to research everything she could about pregnancy.
Hours later, when she was stiff from sitting for so long in front of the screen, Abbie realized she would have recognized her symptoms earlier if she hadn’t thought they were all related to her depression. Well, she supposed she could forgive her obtuseness. She’d had a few other things on her mind.
That night she walked out into the backyard and looked up at the stars shining brightly above her, wondering if Gavin was doing the same.
“I promise you, Gavin, that your son or daughter will love you as much as I do. Our child will grow up knowing who you are…and what you meant to me.” Abbie whispered those words, sending them up into the night sky, hoping that somehow he would hear them. She went to bed and slept peacefully that night, for the first time since she’d been back.
***
Katherine gave Gavin the space he needed for a good number of days, but she was worried by his continued silence. She walked into the library on this night, where he'd taken up residence, with drinks in hand. “It’s time for ye to talk, lad. Ye canna continue to keep it inside.”
Gavin looked up from the book he’d been reading and accepted the drink she offered. He sipped it in silence for a few moments before deciding she was right.
“If she had died I could have mourned her and had closure, eventually moving past the event that took her from me. It is the way of the world. But how do I go on, knowing she’s still alive and I can have her back, if I can but figure out the way? What if I never learn the secret? How can I ever give up on unlocking the puzzle that our lives have become?”
Gavin bowed his head, unashamed of the tears that flowed down his face.
“What happened that day that makes ye believe ye can find her again?”
He told her what the Fae said to him about bringing her back. “She said it was my destiny and yet if I dinna have the stone then how can it be? There’s got to be some other clue in these books. It’s all I have now.”
Katherine felt his deep sorrow as her own. He was her child, as surely as if he’d been born to her. “I will help in any way I can, even if all I can do is listen.”
“I know and I thank you for that. You are a great help to me.”
Katherine left him to his books, despair threatening to defeat her.
Chapter Twenty-Nine
Gavin stood watching the snow fall outside the window. The bleakness of the landscape matched the emptiness of his heart. Almost four months had passed since Abbie disappeared and he was no closer to solving the equation of how to bring her back.
He understood now why his father never remarried. After the death of his mother, his father must have lost heart, having loved her so. The difference in their circumstances pained him. Whereas his father already had an heir, Gavin had none. He owed it to his people to try to carry on his lineage – for their sake, if not his own. The village needed a strong Laird to remain protected and prosper.
It was a thought he didn’t want to contemplate right now. He was young and could afford to put the reality off for a long while yet – years even. Still, the idea of taking a wife just for an heir depressed him. Lying with another woman and thinking of Abbie would be torture. She was all he saw at night each time he closed his eyes. It would feel like a betrayal of his love. She wasn't dead – only lost in time.
A knock on the door interrupted his depressing thoughts. It was Katherine. Waving her into the study, Gavin continued to look out the window.
“Gavin? I was cleaning out the drawers in the guest room and found the lass’s clothing; the items she wore when she first arrived.” Katherine waited quietly for him to acknowledge her befo
re continuing.
Awash in pain at the thought of seeing anything that would remind him of his loss, Gavin knew Katherine still needed directions on how to dispose of them. “Put them in my room. I'll decide what to do with them.”
Later, he held the clothing against his body and wondered for the thousandth time why things had turned out this way. The might-have-beens echoed in his head. An ill wind chilled his soul.
His chest grew warm, as if a small torch burned just over his heart. Pulling the trews away, he felt heat coming from the pocket and reached inside to find the source. It was the Stone of Destiny the Fae had pressed to his chest so many months ago, when all of this had started; the small stone she had taunted him with by its absence. What had she said…that he could bring Abbie back if he had the stone and knew how to use it?
Excitement marked his steps as he left his room. He might not know how to use it yet, but at least he now had possession of the stone. Apparently the Fae thought Abbie had left it behind in her own century, not realizing the lass had brought it with her. As for making it obey his wishes, Gavin would spend the rest of his life in pursuit of learning its secrets. A reason to hope now filled the hollow space in his heart where only darkness had lived before.
Almost running, Gavin reached the point outside where Abbie had first appeared to him. Holding the stone in his hand, he thought hard about having her back by his side. Nothing happened. Trying again, but aloud this time, he spoke of Abbie returning to him. The silence of the night mocked his efforts, but Gavin knew the key would be found with persistence. From now on, the rock would never be out of his sight and he would try any new idea that came to mind.
Returning to his room, Gavin retired for the night with the stone under his pillow. Abbie visited this night, as always, but the dream didn’t end in separation and loss for once. Tonight was a celebration of hope and love. It held the happy ending that a dream should have. Still, it was just a dream. He needed to find out how to make it a reality.
***
Katherine returned from the village the next afternoon with news of great import. “I've been asking around about seers with an affinity to the Otherworld. There is an old crone, who goes by the name of Fand, who might be able to help. It's said she is an accurate seer, the best in the highlands.”
“Where is she located?” Gavin wondered if she might know anything about the stone and its use.
“By Loch Gairloch. It would be a treacherous journey this time of year to reach her though.”
“What area of the Loch?” Gavin would travel through the gates of hell if the information he sought might be found there.
“She lives at the base of the waterfall that flows at the head of the glen.”
“I will leave tomorrow. Thank you for the information, Katherine. Would you please ask Thomas to step in here? He will be going with me.”
***
The bitter wind that marked the first two days of their journey dissipated at last, leaving a mild breeze in its wake and allowed them to make better time. Still, the mountainous terrain was not easily traveled this time of year. More than a fortnight passed before they reached the glen.
Snow didn't touch the area surrounding the old crone’s house. Within that circle bloomed trees and plants in wild abandon. Tropical foliage proliferated against the laws of nature. The two men stared in awe at the sight.
A woman bent with age stood on the doorstep of her home, waiting for them. They dismounted and stepped inside at her invitation.
“I know why ye’ve come.” She spoke the words with a tone of resignation.
Gavin removed the Stone of Destiny from his sporran and held it in his palm. She glanced at it briefly, but refused to touch it.
“I already know what it is. Sit.”
Looking around but not finding any stools except the one that Fand sank onto, Gavin and Thomas sat on the floor. Fand closed her eyes and remained motionless for close to an hour. At last she looked at Gavin and spoke.
“Enter the gate and but circle once against the flow. Ye will find her there.”
She fell silent, refusing to say more lest some malevolence strike her down for having the audacity to peer into its realm. Disheartened by the cryptic words, Gavin nonetheless thanked the old crone, realizing he might still have the key if he could but fathom its meaning.
***
Abbie returned home elated after her doctor’s appointment. The visit had gone well and she’d gotten to see the baby on a sonogram, finding out in the process that her child was a boy.
“You’re going to have a son, Gavin.” She spoke to him often these days. It helped ease the pain she felt about him not being able to experience this with her.
Abbie rubbed her rapidly expanding belly, thinking about the days to come. Gavin had once mentioned naming their first child Ian, after her father, if it was a boy. Ian MacKenzie had a nice ring to it.
The doorbell rang, pulling her out of her musings, and Abbie turned to answer it.
A large stuffed bear confronted her when she opened the door. Peering around the gigantic animal, she finally spotted Kristen.
“I couldn’t resist it.” Kristen walked in blindly, letting the bear decide which way to go, apparently. Abbie laughed at the sight of it.
“Thank you, Kristen. This is his first stuffed animal.”
“He? You found out it’s a boy?”
“Yep and his name is Ian. That’s the name Gavin had already picked.”
Kristen patted Abbie’s belly. “Hello, Ian. It’s your Auntie Kristen.”
Abbie knew everything would be all right for her and the baby with people like Kristen in their lives. She gave the girl a hug. “Let’s go eat and I’ll tell you all about the doctor visit.”
Chapter Thirty
When the men finally returned home after the long journey back, Gavin sat down to make a list. There were several gates around the property. He would try them all. Circle once against the flow made no sense to him at all. What flows? The water in the stream flowed and there was a gate by it, but how did one circle against the flow of it…by standing at the current as the starting point?
Anxious to try it, Gavin headed down to the gate. He entered and turned once, holding the stone in his hand and using the flow of the water as his starting point. Nothing happened, but he hadn’t really expected it to. It didn’t feel right, somehow. He was tired from his journey and the hour was quite late. Perhaps if he slept on it the answer would come to him.
No answer revealed itself with the morning light so Gavin went back to his list. What was around the other gates that flowed? Nothing. Think harder! His mind refused to settle on anything for a few moments. He removed Abbie’s wedding ring from his desk drawer, gazing at it as he thought and hoped it would act as a talisman for him. The key to getting her back was somewhere in the riddle.
Katherine rapped softly on the open door. “I’m sorry to interrupt but I have a question on the festival and time’s running out.”
“What did you say?” Gavin directed all his attention toward her as something clicked in the back of his mind.
“I said there’s a question about set-up with Imbolc.”
“Nae, the other – time’s running out.”
Katherine watched as Gavin bent his head to stare at Abbie’s ring. Her concern for him grew as he started mumbling.
“Time running out, time moves, time…flows. That’s it, Katherine. That’s what flows. Time.”
“Whatever are ye talking about?”
He told her the riddle the crone gave him and then appeared deflated.
“But it’s nae the total answer.”
“Nae, but it’s a start. Ye’ll figure it out. Have faith in that.”
“What question did you have for me?” Gavin realized he’d never given Katherine the chance to state her reason for coming to him.
“It can wait a bit longer.” She smiled at him, her eyes growing moist. “Ye have more important matters to think on.”
He went back to his ruminations once she left. Against the flow of time would be running backwards, so turning the circle might be turning against the hands on a clock. That made sense, but there was still the matter of the gate. A few moments passed. Absolute clarity struck him like a bolt of lightning. Could the gate itself also refer to time – as in the circle of stones, the Slὶabh a Dh'aois?
The implications were enormous and Gavin laid his head down on the desk, momentarily overcome by a wave of disorientation such as he’d never experienced before. If he were right, he would have to step inside the circle to perform this. Dipping his quill into the ink once again, he started writing the possibilities down. Stories of the stones rushed back to him as he wrote, harrowing tales of other travelers lost in time.
The best conclusion would be that Abbie returned to him in the here and now, but what of the other events that could take place? What if he should be pulled into her time, to join her there? Or, what if he entered into a random time frame? He could end up lost to both her and his own world – destined to live out his life alone and adrift. Several hours passed as he thought out the implications to it all before pulling out a new sheet of paper and writing once more.
When he had finished his task, he called a meeting with Katherine and Thomas, laying out his conclusions.
“I’ve written down instructions on the running of Bealach na Ba if I should disappear. You will need to appeal to the MacKenzie chieftain eventually so the village will be protected, but this is a risk I must take. Abbie means more than life to me and I am sworn to protect her. If I am lost for all of time in the trying, then so be it.”
The other two sat without a word, accepting Gavin’s decision – knowing he had the right of it.
“Milord,” Thomas began formally, “I request my presence as witness when ye try this.”
“I will be there, also.” Katherine spoke in a belligerent tone. She would brook no argument from him.
Gavin smiled at them both. “We will leave at dawn.”
The following morning found the three of them at the stone circle not long after sunrise. Gavin hadn’t slept all night. Pinning all his hopes on this venture had left him unable to find any rest. If it failed… He refused to think about that and pushed it from his mind. This had to be the answer.