Imperfectly Real (A Series of Imperfections)

by A. E. Woodward

They were both agitated with me, and truly they had every right to be. But I didn’t want them to be right. I wanted nothing more than to prove them wrong.

  “Fuck you, Rob,” I spat.

  “No, Tyler, fuck you, and that little whore who is slowly ruining your life!”

  I saw red. I stood so quickly that the chair I had been sitting in toppled over. Before I had time to calm down, I slugged Rob in the face, hitting him with such a force that the chair he was sitting in skidded back a bit. He scrambled to his feet, rubbing his cheek furiously.

  “What the hell, Tyler!” Shane yelled, as he finally had time to react and placed his body in between ours to prevent any further altercation. “Felix is here!” he scolded, as if it would have been okay if he wasn’t.

  Truth was, there was no situation where my actions would have been acceptable. I’d never hit any of my friends. Ever. Elizabeth was making me fuckin’ crazy.

  I backed away from the table with the sudden realization of what I had done. I looked over onto the rug, thankful that Felix was still captivated by his blocks. I continued to back away from my friends, unsure of what had become of me.

  “Seriously, Tyler”—Rob flexed his jaw back and forth—”what the fuck is your problem?”

  Without saying anything I moved further away from two people that truly cared about me. My trance broke when I stepped on one of Felix’s toys and it squeaked in protest. I knew I had reached the end of my rope. I wasn’t sure what I wanted anymore, but I knew that they weren’t helping the situation and I needed to escape it all.

  Without hesitation, I grabbed my keys from the counter. Shane and Rob pleaded for me to stay and talk it out but my mind was made up and before I knew it, I was running. I heard Rob telling Shane to let me go. I wasn’t sure where I was going or where I would end up, I just knew I needed to get away.

  I ran … and ran … then I ran some more. I didn’t think, I just followed my feet. I’d become a hot mess. I’d vowed to never let someone control me like this, but I couldn’t fight my feelings. I had fallen for Elizabeth—whether I liked it or not—and it killed me knowing that I wasn’t her first choice. Running was the best stress relief that I could get at the moment. I wasn’t paying attention to where I was going, I was just waiting for that familiar burn in my legs when I turned a corner and ran right into a woman. Stunned, I stopped as she fell backwards.

  “Shit,” I said, bending down to help her up. “I’m sorry. I wasn’t paying attention. Are you alright?”

  Her dark hair curtained around her face as she looked down at the sidewalk. She sighed before she slowly lifted her eyes to meet mine. You could only imagine my shock when I recognized the gray eyes gazing back up at me.

  “Holy shit,” I muttered. Talk about a blast from the past—it was borderline crazy. “Christy?” I mean seriously, what were the chances? I’d run right into Shane’s high school sweetheart, right here in the middle of New York City.

  I grabbed her hand and helped her get up, her mouth still slightly agape. “Tyler?” She smiled as she dusted off her butt. “Tyler freakin’ Johnston?” She threw her arms around my neck and we shared an awkward—but familiar—embrace.

  I was still dumbfounded. “What are you doing here, Chris? It’s been ages.” I couldn’t help myself as I gave her a once over. She looked just the same as she had in high school. Christy still had it going on.

  She’d been the ‘it’ girl—every girl wanted to be her, and every guy wanted to be on her. She’d been crazy over Shane since they met freshman year. What wasn’t to love? He was the All-American, boy next door. They stayed together for a long time but, well, you know the rest. It’s history.

  “I’m here on business. It’s been what …” She paused while doing mental calculations—most likely trying to figure out when she and Shane had broken up. “Crap, it’s been at least eight years.”

  “Wow. So do you have a minute?” I asked, not really thinking about the repercussions … again. I really needed to work on that. “We should go grab a cup of coffee and catch up.”

  She smiled and with the flash of her perfect white teeth, the memories of all the times I spent with her came flooding back. Christy had been in the background of many of my memories—the times at the lake, her trying to set me up with some of her hot friends, me fucking it up. She’d confided in me numerous times about her and Shane’s relationship. I would always reassure her that Shane and Emma’s relationship was totally platonic—little did I know, huh?

  We’d been friends since she and Shane had started dating, and she’d been there with us through the whole of high school. Yeah, they’d broken up and it had been messy, but you just don’t forget all those times you shared.

  Hopeful, I offered her my arm and she immediately linked hers with mine. “That would be nice.”

  I sipped my coffee, welcoming the distraction Christy had given me. I found it relaxing to get lost in conversation with a good friend, and for the first time in months I found myself not going crazy thinking about Elizabeth.

  “So tell me what you’re up to these days, Chris?”

  “I’m still living in Maine, but I don’t teach anymore.” She paused to blow on her hot coffee. “I just started to work as the curriculum coordinator for the school district. They pay for me to go to these fancy conferences all across the country in order to bring back the latest and greatest innovations for curriculum. I implement them and ultimately help the teachers perform their jobs better.”

  I smiled. “That’s great.” It was great, but it was just another example of someone being able to further their own career while I continued maintaining status quo. Shit.

  “What about you, Ty?” She smiled. “What are you up to these days?”

  “Same old,” I said, hoping that would suffice and that she wouldn’t press further. Not just about my job, but about my personal life as well. I sensed that she was digging, and I didn’t like it. At all.

  Suddenly I didn’t feel like this was a conversation I wanted to be having. I didn’t really want to go there with Christy. I didn’t really want to open that can of worms.

  “Which is?” she prodded. In fact, by this point I was pretty sure that she was looking for information about Shane. She’d been beyond head over heels with him, and had wanted him to move back to Maine after NYU. But Shane … well, you all already know what Shane wanted.

  I let out a sigh. “Well, I’m still living with Shane, Em and Rob …” I stopped, hoping that would be enough, but she gave me a look that said she wanted more. I felt uneasy under her gaze and I quickly shifted my eyes away. I hesitated as I contemplated my words. I somehow needed to figure out a way to skirt around the fact that Shane had ended up with Emma after all—that Christy had been right about his feelings for her all those years ago. I hated that he’d gone and proved her right.

  Christy had loved Shane desperately. She’d held onto him for years, despite knowing that he’d never quite felt the same. I remember all the times she’d berated him for spending time with Emma. Eventually the jealousy got the better of her, and they split. Well, that, paired with the fact that they both wanted to live in different places.

  I immediately began planning my escape, because right then all I wanted to do was continue my run—I didn’t do tension very well.

  “Tyler,” she smiled, “it’s fine. I know.”

  Surprised, I moved my eyes back to hers. “You do?”

  She laughed as she shifted in her seat. “Yeah. Didn’t Emma ever mention that I occasionally hang out with Liz?”

  I vaguely remembered Em saying something about that before. Yep, she had. It had been the reason Shane hadn’t gone to Maine for her parents’ thirtieth wedding anniversary. “Oh yeah, she did,” I finally stammered.

  “Yeah. Liz and I … well, our families go to the same country club. So, yeah.” She frowned and sighed again. “I know.”

  Our conversation suddenly stalled, and the atmosphere was uncomfortable to say the least. It ha
d to bother her that she’d been right all along.

  “I truly am just glad he’s happy,” she finally muttered before taking another sip from her coffee. “I know you guys thought I was crazy, but I knew all along. I hoped I was wrong, but deep down I knew. A girl can tell when a guy loves someone else.” She frowned again, and I couldn’t help but feel bad for her. I wondered if she still suffered from a broken heart. “But what about you, Ty? That’s what I care about right now. I want to know how you are.” Her eyes burned onto mine as she grabbed my hand and squeezed. Without thinking I rolled my eyes knowing that she could tell I was in a less than happy place. She’d spent enough time with me through the years to get a good read on me and my damned emotions.

  I sat back in my chair and smiled. Everyone wanted something from me in one form of another lately, but all she wanted was for me to open up. Things were shit, but no one seemed to consider how I was feeling about it. No, they just forced their thoughts and opinions on me, never really thinking how it affected me. All of this shit had gone down, yet no one really asked how I was doing. “You know, Chris. You’re the first person to ask me that in a while.”

  Without really thinking of the repercussions, I poured my heart out to someone that I hadn’t even seen in years. Christy listened intently and added comments when I asked. She actually took the time to hear me out. You’re probably thinking I was a complete moron, and I probably was. But I didn’t mention names … just my situation. Little did I know that I was opening Pandora’s Box.

  “Wow, Ty,” she said once my sob story had concluded. “I’m so sorry that you’re going through so much … alone.” She stopped and looked at me while she nervously chewed on her nails. “But while we’re honest here, I have something I’d like to confide in you as well.”

  I got back to the condo and it was eerily quiet. I threw my keys down on the counter and called out, but there was no answer. I wondered where everyone had gone? Maybe I’d gotten lucky and scared them all off with my Hulk moment. I headed upstairs, realizing that I could use a little more alone time to process shit without added nonsense. As I reached my door I stalled. Rolling my eyes, I smiled. The ‘Hey Asshole’ notes had made their return.

  We’d bought them by the dozens when we were in college, and obviously Shane and Rob had felt the need for them to make a comeback. The ‘Hey Asshole’ notes were your typical “while you were out” message pads. However, these were filled with hilarious boxes that you could check off in order to create your very own cheeky messages. I tore down the two that were taped to my door and took them into the room to read. The first one went like this:

  I crumpled the paper and tossed it into my trashcan. I had to hand it to him, at least it was witty. I probably wouldn’t have been so kind if he’d been the one to slug me. I directed my attention to the next note.

  HEY ASSHOLE

  AKA Tyler Slutty-Slutterson

  Rob had definitely added that last part.

  I felt the anger rising in me. Shane’s note was blunt and to the point, but it was filled with truths and I hated it. Rob’s was way better, at least his had made me chuckle. I tossed Shane’s note into the trashcan and fell back onto my bed. I was emotionally drained with all that had transpired. So much information. So much to deal with. But, despite the stress, I was able to close my eyes and let sleep creep in.

  I’m not entirely sure how much time passed, but I woke with a start when my door flew open to reveal Rob standing in the doorway, staring at me. I rubbed my eyes, encouraging them to open up, and for my brain to kick-start. Moments passed as he stared, expressionless and silent. It was all Children of the Corn shit—basically, it was fuckin’ creepy.

  “What?” I finally asked, harshly.

  “Well, did you get our notes?” he asked, seemingly annoyed—and rightfully so because his eye had already started bruise. He’d have fun explaining that to his coworkers at the firm. I’m sure they expected things like that from him, because he’d had to explain some of his actions a time or two before. They looked the other way a lot because, well, the guy was a freakin’ amazing lawyer—he could talk his way out of anything.

  “Yes.” I didn’t want to discuss it any further. “Your notes have been received and I will take your suggestions into consideration.” No I wouldn’t. I was going to go after what I wanted … and what I wanted was Elizabeth.

  “And …?” he urged. He wanted to know what I was going to do, but I refused to play his game. He may have been right, but I wasn’t going to let him get away with continuing to be a douche and get into my business. My shitty situation had nothing to do with him.

  “And nothing.” I lay back down on the bed and rolled away from him, hoping he’d take the hint. I wasn’t ready to talk to him—or anyone else for that matter. Not yet. “Leave me alone, Rob.”

  I listened to his footsteps fade away. He’d gotten it. I breathed a sigh of relief. My moment of solace was short-lived, and I jumped as I heard heavy footsteps pounding back down the hallway, toward my room. I muttered a quick, “What the fuck?” just as Shane and Rob entered my room. Before I could escape, Rob dumped water all over me and my bed.

  “You dickhead!” I screamed as I stood to defend myself.

  “Shane …” Rob pleaded. “Quick, before he kicks our asses!”

  Before I knew what was happening I was hit with an onslaught of white powder. Had they just floured me? Stunned, I stopped in my tracks as Shane shook bottles of powder over my drenched body and the familiar scent filled my nose. “Baby powder,” I laughed, my anger slowly subsiding while I sat back down on the edge of my bed.

  “If you want to act like a baby, then we’ll treat you like one,” Rob spat.

  “Seriously, Ty,” Shane spoke as he threw the emptied bottles into my covered lap. “You can’t push us away. We care about you—”

  Rob quickly interrupted with, “That bitch is using you.”

  I immediately felt myself stiffen.

  “Would you just shut up!” Shane commanded, nervously running his hands through his hair. “God, you always make shit a million times worse. You have no filter. Kid gloves, Rob. We talked about this.”

  I laughed because Shane was right. Rob had a tendency to get a tad emotional about things and escalate situations. We’d been there before.

  “Like I was saying, we’ll do our best to help you”—Shane glared at Rob—”without judgment.”

  “We will?” Rob asked. Shane punched him in the arm. Rob winced and immediately began nursing his second injury of the evening. “Fine. We will.”

  I sighed. My friends refused to let me self-destruct and I was thankful for that. “Sorry for slugging you,” I blurted. A smug smile immediately spread across Rob’s face and I felt the need to knock him down a peg or two. “You deserved it, but I am sorry.”

  He threw his arm around me. “That’s alright. It hardly hurt at all.”

  I scoffed at his lie. I knew it had to have hurt like hell. “I’ll keep that in mind for next time.”

  “You better have your green on!” Emma yelled up the stairs. I immediately looked down to my clothes and sighed. Fuck. No green. “I swear, Tyler, Rob will punch you if you don’t. He’s forgoing pinching, decided to kick it up a notch this year,” she hollered again as I sauntered over to my closet.

  I took my nice shirt off and replaced it with a green polo. They had a point. It was an Irish bar for God’s sakes—you couldn’t go there to celebrate the birthday of a kid born on St. Patty’s Day and not wear green. Yes, you read that right. We were getting ready to celebrate Felix’s birthday … at O’Malley’s. Now before you get your panties all in a bunch over us having a kids birthday party at a bar, think about it. I mean, what else did you expect us to do? At least we got the owner to shut it down for the afternoon. It would just be the four of us celebrating at the very place that has been special to us for years.

  I grabbed my cell phone from my nightstand and looked at it hopefully. No new messages. No missed c
alls. Mason must be home, or else Elizabeth would be calling and texting. That’s how she operated—I only ever heard from her when she was lonely. I liked to think that she just couldn’t find a way to call me when he was around, but I had a feeling it was because she didn’t need me.

  Feeling slightly deflated, I shoved my cell in my pocket and I made my way downstairs where everyone was waiting for me. “Some things never change,” Emma muttered, grabbing Felix’s diaper bag. “Can we go now?”

  She had a point. They were always waiting on my sorry ass.

  We all piled into Shane’s car. It was probably a pretty funny sight—Rob and I crammed in the back, either side of Felix’s car seat. We just didn’t see the point in walking or riding the train. It wasn’t worth the hassle when you had a kid to worry about. It was quite snug, but somehow I fit. Shane pulled up to the sidewalk outside O’Malley’s and Rob was practically humming with excitement. I reached over and slapped his chest. “We’re not here to drink, moron.”

  He turned to me, flabbergasted, as if he hadn’t really thought this through. It wasn’t surprising though—Rob never thought anything through. “What do you mean, no drinking? We always drink at O’s! Emma?” He became frantic the longer he thought about it. “Please tell me we can at least have one beer?”

  Emma sighed while shaking her head. It was a good thing she loved us, because we were truly a handful. Poor thing was practically raising four boys all on her own—she was a saint. “You can have a beer, Rob, but please keep Robbie-Boy at bay.” Robbie-Boy was our nickname for crazy-ass drunk Rob. He was the one who got into all the shenanigans, and therefore had the killer stories to tell. Robbie-Boy was a handful, and poor Felix did not need to be exposed to that.

  “No Robbie-Boy. Deal.” He smiled smugly at me.

  Once inside we found our way to our spot. Shane, Rob and myself all ordered a Guinness because … well, just because. It didn’t feel right to be in this place with out a pint of stout in front of us. And our little man turning one was truly something to celebrate. He had turned into a little person right before our eyes. His crawling had turned into walking and the babbling was turning into words. I was still waiting patiently for the day where he’d call me ‘Uncle Ty’, instead of just pointing at me. It was hard to believe that a whole year had already passed us by. I could remember the day he was born just like yesterday.