J.R. Rains Vampire for Hire World_Dragon Lessons

by Eve Paludan

  And then, I saw it was night. I helplessly changed to my dragon form and readied myself for battle against Beowulf’s regime by sharpening my claws against the walls of the granite cavern that is both my home and my whetstone. It was a grating, high-pitched sound that traveled for miles, that claw sharpening. Let them hear my ire and shake in their boots!

  I thought and planned carefully. The treasure was probably locked up tightly in Beowulf’s keep, but that was not my primary concern. I prayed that I would take no pleasure in killing anyone and would avoid it if I could, but at all costs, I must retrieve the Cup of Forgiveness! I had heard rumors that Beowulf carried it absolutely everywhere on his person.

  If I did not recover the Cup of Forgiveness, all will be lost… even the lady with the raven-dark hair, the rosy lips and the dark mysterious eyes. The sorceress was bewitching me with her dreams of me. Wherever she was, it would surely be folly to find her and make something of what we had found in a dream.

  And yet, I could not stop hoping that the dreams of her could be made manifest.

  Chapter 7

  SAMANTHA MOON

  It was later, and I felt frustrated that I had not yet made it to the library to help Archibald Maximus with the Beowulf book, but my kids came first.

  I’d picked up Anthony from a crystals shop because he had missed the last bus out. He’d said he was doing research for alchemy school, though I had this vague feeling that the gift-wrapped crystal in a fancy box had something to do with a girl at alchemy school and not a class per se. I didn’t pry. I guessed Anthony would tell me about the special girl when he was ready.

  I picked up Tammy from Kingsley’s office in Fullerton, which was in an office building across the street from Brea Mall. I’d had her go to his office after school for safekeeping. Because the devil was still after her… and because she was in trouble at school and I had not yet had a face-to-face chat with her to get all the hairy details of the chemistry lab debacle.

  So now, Tammy and Anthony were in my minivan with me. We were headed for the high school for Tammy’s twice-weekly class of a disciplinary type. After I dropped her off, Anthony and I were going to Jacky’s Gym. My boyfriend, Kingsley, had night court, and I’d only seen him for a minute when picking up Tammy, but if he got out early, he’d promised to meet up with me tonight. Somehow. He’d said we’d ‘wing’ it.

  “How’s Kingsley?” I asked Tammy.

  “You saw him. Large, hairy, and protective, as always,” she replied sullenly, blinking back attitude. “He’s sorry he had night court and couldn’t come with you two to Jacky’s Gym. He had to run off to defend a bunch of criminals.”

  “That’s his job. Why are you so upset with him?” I asked. “Did Kingsley say something wr—”

  “No, Mother. He’s perfectly nice, a knight in shining armor, but too big to ride a regular horse. Maybe a Clydesdale.”

  I smiled, picturing Kingsley on a draft horse. “That pretty much describes him to a T.” I asked more gently, “What’s wrong, Lady Tam Tam?”

  Tammy didn’t hold back. “Kingsley’s trying really hard to be like a dad to me and I guess it made me miss Daddy, the way I used to think of him when I was little, not when he was a jerk to you, starting when you got turned to a vampire. And it’s also my time of the month.”

  Anthony made a gagging sound from the backseat where he was changing his clothes under a blanket. “I’m in the van, too, Tammy! Could you be a little less graphic?”

  “Could you be a little less like yourself?” she shot back.

  “Stop it, you two,” I said. To Tammy, I said, “I think it’s sweet that Kingsley is acting paternal.”

  “Having Kingsley for a babysitter is like Mrs. Doubtfire meets The Wolfman. He’s sweet on the outside, but terrifying on the inside.”

  I smiled again. “I’ll never get that picture out of my mind.”

  “Does he really have to watch me every Tuesday and Thursday before my stupid night class?”

  “Yes,” I said. “Remember, the devil is after you and I do have to earn a living. Those are the two days I can’t fetch you from school because of the cases I’m working for a client this week. I’m doing some surveillance for a warehouse and I have to be there at midnight and it’s way over in Los Angeles.”

  “I could drive myself, Mom.”

  “You’re grounded from the car, too, missy.”

  “Anthony could drive me.”

  “Yeah, Mom!” he said.

  “Tammy, you’re not eighteen yet,” I said.

  “No gas money either,” Anthony said.

  “Ugh! Why can’t the devil go to my stupid disciplinary class, then?” my daughter whined.

  “Because he’s not a juvenile delinquent,” Anthony said. “He’s an ancient delinquent.”

  Tammy turned around to Anthony in the backseat and mouthed, “You suck, and you should be in that class with me.” Yes, I read lips, something the kids had not yet caught onto.

  She stuck out her tongue at him.

  I wondered what that was about. Something must be going on between them that I wasn’t privy to, but I knew all I had to do was wait and Tammy would spill. She always did, while Anthony was the one who mulled things over in secret.

  “I could drive myself, you know, Mom,” Tammy said.

  “You just asked me that. Don’t ask again. You’re grounded from your car for now.”

  “Figures. Nice weather we’re having, to match my mood,” Tammy said.

  “It never rains for long,” Anthony said. “We’re in a drought, you know.”

  “Tell that to the poor people in Houston, Miami, and Puerto Rico,” she said. “And New Orleans.”

  The three of us talked about the hurricane victims and both Tammy and Anthony wanted us to donate some money, as a family. I agreed, and we talked about the amount and set a goal for ourselves. Tammy was going to donate money from her English tutoring and Anthony had a pretty good pile of hoarded scrap metal that needed to be hauled off before it took over the backyard.

  Tonight, it was raining, and the sky was pitch-black. No stars. Usually, I loved the nighttime. Being a vampire did that to you. But I had a sort of worry creeping over me about leaving Tammy at the high school at night. Not the vampire alarm bells in my head, just regular old parental anxiety.

  “Your school is annoying,” I reflected.

  “I told you so long ago,” Tammy said. “You’re just now hearing me?”

  “Why, again, is your ‘Responsible Teens’ class from seven to ten?” I asked Tammy.

  “To keep us off the streets at night, and out of game arcades and pool halls, but still enforce Fullerton’s dumb curfew laws,” she replied. “But just so you know, they put me in the class with the known juvenile delinquents and I don’t fit in. I’ll get hazed. They already call me ‘Goody Two Shoes’ in the halls because I’m a student English tutor.”

  “Sheesh, Tammy,” I said. “Stop with the violins already. I just think it’s stupid and dangerous to keep you out so late. Maybe I should sit outside your classroom and wait instead of going to Jacky’s Gym with Anthony.”

  “Mom! I have to go to Jacky’s!” Anthony said in alarm.

  Tammy whipped her head around sideways in alarm. “No, Mom. I’d be mortified if you did that.”

  I gave her an evil grin. “Just kidding. Be good and wait inside the building for a ride home. I will be back at ten sharp.”

  “So will I,” Tammy replied. I gave her my death glare and she added, “Just kidding.”

  “Very funny,” I said. “But not. Don’t give me any more lip, Tammy, unless you want me sitting outside your classroom.”

  “I hate it when you threaten me with social embarrassment.”

  “It’s the only thing that seems to work on you.”

  “I’ll be eighteen soon. And you can’t ground me after that. Or boss me around.”

  “Believe me, I shudder that you’ll be let loose on the world,” I told her, and Anthony guffawe
d.

  “Shut up, freaky little brother,” Tammy said as she looked at him in the rearview mirror. “This is all your fault.”

  “You shut up, freaky big sister.” Anthony always gave back as good as he got.

  “Don’t let the flames blow out of your butt during kickboxing, Fire Warrior,” Tammy said as I pulled the van up to the drop-off area of the high school.

  “Don’t let people’s dirty minds bother you in that class of juvenile delinquents,” Anthony said. “You freaky, nosy mind reader.”

  I said, “Stop it, you two. Why can’t you love each other like you did when you were little?”

  “Because brothers and sisters are natural enemies when they’re teenagers.” Tammy pulled up the hood on her hoodie to guard her hair against the cold and the rain.

  “Why is that?” I asked.

  Tammy piped up, “Our natural aversion to each other at this age is to protect us from lusting after our sibling’s friends.”

  Anthony groaned. “You’re so gross, Tammy.” Anthony looked at me. “Mom, tell us that’s not true about the natural aversion.”

  “It is so true, Mom!” Tammy interrupted. “I read Anthony’s friends’ minds and they have sick thoughts about me. They’re all pervs, every one of them!”

  Anthony raised his fists. “You’re lying. They think you’re a freaky weird girl, and they want nothing to do with you.”

  “I happen to know that some of your guy friends find freaky weird girls a huge physical turn-on. I’m second only to a certain kind of magazines that they stuff under their mattresses.”

  I felt like throwing up. “Enough! What’s wrong with you two? Seriously, I want to know what is underlying this constant bickering.”

  Tammy looked at Anthony. “I’m not going to throw you under the bus, little brother,” she said mysteriously.

  I raised my eyebrows at my son, who was squirming. “Anthony? Do you have something to tell me?”

  Anthony sighed. “Okay. I’ll fess up. I’m the one who got Tammy in trouble. It’s my entire fault she has to take this night class.” He paused. “I’m really sorry. I didn’t think it would be that big of a fire.”

  I threw the minivan into park in front of the school but left it running so the windshield wouldn’t fog up from the rain outside and the heater inside. “Explain!”

  Tammy quickly said, “No, Mom, it’s fine. It was my fault that the chemistry lab semi-blew up.”

  “No, it was my fault, Mom,” Anthony admitted. “I was helping Tammy with her chemistry experiment and I told her how to make hydrogen, knowing that there would be a boom. I didn’t really know it was going to blow up that much and spatter everything with flames. And cut Tammy with the glass. And catch the lab table on fire.”

  “Cut her?” I said in alarm.

  “I’m fine,” Tammy said, pressing on the little Batman bandage on her arm. “I know it was an accident, Anthony. You were just goofing around. And guess what? I forgive you because I got a B on the assignment.”

  “You forgive me?” he said incredulously.

  “Yeah, I shouldn’t have asked you to help me with my chemistry experiment. That was cheating. So, technically, I actually should be in this stupid punishment class.” Tammy sighed and picked up her backpack. She impulsively leaned over and kissed me on the cheek. “I’m so sorry, Mom. What a mess this is.”

  I said, “Thanks for telling me the truth. Both of you.”

  “The truth always comes out,” Tammy said and shrugged.

  “It would have come out sooner or later anyway,” I said. “You can’t hide much from me. Even though I’m not a mind reader, per se.”

  Tammy shot a look at Anthony and changed the subject, I noticed. “I’m getting out, Anthony. Do you want to ride shotgun?”

  “Sure,” Anthony said and jumped out of the backseat of the van as she got out of the front passenger door. He took the front passenger seat—and she looked back at me with a little mischief in her eyes.

  “Bye, Mommy,” she said with more than a little sarcasm in her voice.

  “Don’t read the minds of juvenile delinquents,” I called after her.

  “Too late,” Tammy replied as a boy walked up to her and said, “Hello, Tammy! What are you doing here?”

  She turned her back to me and walked into the high school next to the boy in the school letterman’s jacket.

  “Who’s that?” I murmured.

  “Nick North. Starting quarterback, senior varsity,” Anthony said. “And one of the kids I think she tutors in English.”

  “Ugh,” I said. “I wonder what he did to get in this night class.”

  Anthony said, “Mom, trust me, there are some things you do not want to know.”

  “I’m a curious vampire. I want to know everything,” I said.

  “Can we just please go to Jacky’s Gym now?” Anthony asked.

  I nodded, knowing Anthony was deflecting and it wasn’t very smoothly either. But I let it go for now about the trick he had played on Tammy. We’d discuss it later.

  “Okay, to the gym, but first, do you want to stop at In-N-Out and get a burger and fries?”

  Anthony beamed at me. “That would be cool. Thanks!” He paused. “We should get some for Tammy, too. She didn’t eat dinner either.”

  “We’ll get yours now and hit it again on the way back after we pick her up, so her fries will still be hot.”

  “You’re the best mom ever.”

  “Yeah, I try,” I said, still worried about Tammy.

  Anthony frowned. “Am I gonna get in trouble for causing that mess in the chemistry lab?”

  “Do you think you should?” I asked gently.

  “Sort of. I planned to light a fart on fire, but it turned out way worse than that,” he said and laughed raucously as he was wont to do about farts and anything to do with butts. Because he was a boy and boys find those topics hilarious.

  “Oh, you!” I said, a little embarrassed at his grossness. I headed the minivan for In-N-Out. After all, I had a growing Fire Warrior boy to feed and then, we were going to Jacky’s Gym where Anthony had a new gig coaching little kids’ kickboxing. He tried not to show it, but I could tell he was nervous. It was his first real job, but under the wing of Jacky, I knew he would do great.

  Chapter 8

  TAMMY MOON

  I was a guppy in a sea of sharks and no lie, some of them were actually very bad-ass sharks. Gangbangers and druggies and even a date rapist. I knew all of this because I read their minds. I noticed that there were only two other girls in the class and they were those kind of tough girls who gave themselves homemade gangster tattoos and beat up other girls just for looking at their boyfriends.

  “I’ll get you past the riff-raff,” offered my tall, muscular friend, who had claimed me at the drop-off area.

  “Thanks, wingman,” I said softly.

  Feeling like I needed protection from the catcalls, even though I was dressed in ripped black jeans and a loose gray hoodie over one of my mom’s swiped Cal State Fullerton T-shirts—not one of my cuter outfits—I fell into step with my high school’s star quarterback.

  Nick North was his name and he was cute in that Nordic way, all blond hair, even a blond wispy mustache and blond eyelashes, blue eyes, white teeth, and a strong jaw. We’d met in the nurse’s office where he had an ice pack on his knee from a football practice injury—I was in there for a sprained ankle from twisting it on the bleachers when we were running up and down them while doing drills for my sadistic gym teacher. So, that day, we both had ice packs on our injuries and he’d made me laugh, even though I wanted to cry at the humiliation of tripping over a shoelace.

  He’d said, “At least you didn’t trip over a football. As the quarterback, I am never going to live that down.” So, in our mutual klutziness, a platonic friendship was born. Nick was a guy who could laugh at himself. I liked his sense of humor enough to tutor him a little bit in English.

  “Did you get your test back on diagramming se
ntences?” I asked.

  “I did. I got a B,” he said gratefully.

  “I knew you could do it, once you understood it,” I said.

  “Thanks, you explained it way better than the teacher,” he said. “I finally do understand it.”

  “Excellent.”

  We looked at each other and grinned. It was easy to be around Nick. I also liked the way he thought I was beautiful. And yeah, I was reading his mind. He wasn’t even thinking dirty names for my girl parts while he was looking at me. Just that I was a nice girl, a beautiful girl, and how he wished we could be really good friends.

  Nick was a contrast to the classmates who circled us, making kissing noises and the like. And by ‘the like,’ I mean that they were making those flesh-slapping noises that one would normally associate with vigorous sex and chanting, “Tammy and Nick,” like we were a couple or something. Not. Anyway, I had the polite attention of the least creepy of the supposed juvenile delinquents in my Teen Responsibility class. Of which I was now considered one, too.

  “It’s very nice to see you again, Tammy,” Nick was saying, as if he had just stepped out of an after-school special.

  “Twice a week, just like everyone else here,” I replied, ever the famous ice princess of our high school.

  “I know why I’m here,” he said, “but why the heck are you here?”

  “I accidentally made an explosion in the chemistry lab. There’s no forgiveness for the damage it did and the trouble it caused.”

  He laughed. “Not good at science?”

  “Something like that,” I said, not wanting to explain the whole story with my brother in it. “So, why are you in this class?”

  “My grades are slipping in one of my other classes and my coach thought I should take this class to use the time to finish the homework that I haven’t been turning in. If I don’t bring my grades up, I’ll get benched for the rest of the season. I’ve already sat there for two weeks, watching everyone else get to practice and play.”