Family of Lies: Sebastian

by Sam Argent

“If you’re looking for a drinking mate, I might be willing if you’re down for a wager,” Lord Orwell said.

  Luke pursed his lips while thinking about it.

  Kevin laughed. “If you’re that foolish, go for it. Father probably swallowed a potion before he came downstairs.”

  “That is an insult to my honor,” Lord Orwell said. “Don’t make excuses for your man if he can’t hack it against the elderly.”

  “Definitely swallowed a potion,” Sebastian muttered.

  Lord Orwell glared at Sebastian. “Why are you babbling when dessert hasn’t been served yet? Off with you!”

  Sebastian gave the wine bottle to Kraven and left as Luke clinked his glass against Lord Orwell’s. At least if the idiots are distracted, then I can spend extra time with the cooling pies. Two years I’ve baked the damn things, and two years I haven’t gotten a single serving because you bastards went at them like dogs. “Third time’s the charm,” Sebastian whispered, carefully cutting out a steaming berry-laden slice for himself. Using his magic to cool it slightly, Sebastian ate it quickly and moved on to a second pie. He used a different knife so he wouldn’t mar the pristine white topping or light green lime filling beneath it. The first fluffy bite melted on Sebastian’s tongue, and he congratulated himself for catching up to Margaret’s skills. The dining room grew loud with cheers, so Sebastian assumed Luke had won the bet. After the last bite, Sebastian unabashedly picked up both disturbed pies and joined his family.

  “You put something in the wine!” Lord Orwell pointed to Diana, who innocently adjusted her sleeves.

  “Why would I do anything like that?”

  “Evened the score is more like it,” James said, laughing. “I should have known there was a reason Diana added in a few bottles of her personal stash.”

  Sebastian put the pies down and backed away, hoping he could make it to his room.

  “Sebastian!” their mother shouted in horror. “How could you?”

  “They baked like that,” Sebastian lied.

  Pratchett looked at the pies and then turned to Sebastian. “You took out damn near a quarter of each pie, you ass!”

  Sebastian rolled his eyes. “I ate nowhere near that much, and my portions were fair.”

  Kevin pointed his fork at Sebastian. “Fair or not, no seconds for you.”

  Sebastian returned to his chair and rubbed his belly. “I’m full, so that’s fine with me.” He glanced at Ophelia, who had been silent the whole night. “Are you all right?” he asked.

  Ophelia shook her head. “It’s only a headache. I’ll take medicine for it after we finish.”

  Lord Orwell frowned. “How long have you had it?”

  Ophelia rubbed her temples. “For most of the night.”

  Their father reached out and touched her forehead. Horror dawned on his face, and his breathing deepened. “Oh, fuck me.” He yanked his hand back and stood up so quickly his chair fell. “Diana, get her to her room and bar the door behind you. Alice, put the children with them. Sebastian, your cloak now!” Lord Orwell shouted.

  “Is he here?” Lady Orwell asked.

  “That bastard is warding the whole damn house so Ophelia can’t get a vision.”

  “Trenton Keyes is here?” Sebastian asked, sharing worried looks with his siblings.

  “Yes, now put on your damn cloak!” Lord Orwell yelled.

  Sebastian ran to his room while Ophelia and the children were herded into hers. He had his cloak on in no time and ran back downstairs.

  “Everyone stay seated and act normal,” Lord Orwell instructed.

  Pratchett shrugged. “I can do normal.” He pulled the lime pie closer to him, and Kevin shook his head.

  “Really?”

  Pratchett held the knife over the pie for a reasonable slice but moved it for a wider chunk. “If you don’t want any, fine with me.”

  “I still want a piece,” Kraven said.

  “Let them be, Kevin,” James said. “It’s better than them pretending to be considerate.”

  “Why don’t we run?” Rebecca asked.

  “We won’t make it,” Lady Orwell said. “He probably has most directions closed off.”

  “Most?” Kevin asked.

  “He won’t let his army near the forest,” Lord Orwell said. “An understandable precaution with a magical land that doesn’t like intruders.”

  “He’ll just walk up to the door and knock?” Sebastian asked.

  “If he doesn’t consider us to be a threat, yes.”

  Pratchett raised his glass to Kraven. “Here’s hoping we don’t get killed.”

  James bent and grabbed both their drinks. “Your drinking is done for the night. We need your heads clear.”

  Lord Orwell snatched the bottles and handed them to Sebastian. “Put them and the food up. Kraven, grab the playing cards and we’ll distract ourselves before he’s here.”

  Pratchett scooped the knife in the other pie and snatched a large piece as Kraven tried to take it.

  “You are such a glutton,” Kevin said, shaking his head.

  “Mother is doing it too,” Pratchett whined. Everyone turned and saw Lady Orwell had procured the whiskey bottle from Rebecca and Alice. She filled her wineglass to the brim and drank it down as quickly as Kraven had.

  “I’m kind of impressed,” James said.

  “I actually am too.” Diana watched their mother gulp the last drop and put her goblet down.

  “I know that bitch is with him, and this is the only way I won’t poison all of them,” Lady Orwell said. “How dare they come to my home uninvited.”

  Lord Orwell groaned. “Diana, keep an eye on your mother’s hands.”

  “Why should I? I’m fine with poisoning them.”

  “James, keep an eye on your sister and your mother.”

  “Great, that’s going to be fun,” James said.

  “We don’t kill any of them unless we can kill all of them,” Lord Orwell said. “And that’s a lot of bodies even for us.”

  “There might be a reward for their heads,” Demetrius said.

  Sebastian watched his family and wondered if he should say anything about scrying for Trenton, or that Turren would be expecting a communication. His father’s bald spot glistened with sweat, and Sebastian opened his mouth just as Diana cleared her throat.

  “I agree that none of us should do anything hasty,” she said.

  Sebastian closed his mouth and cleared the table. He got everything wrapped up in the spelled cabinets and ate another slice of lime pie to relieve his worry. Maybe Turren wouldn’t react to his silence by coming to their property. Gods, this is going to be bad, Sebastian thought. He went into the living room, and everything looked like a normal Solstice night.

  Kraven had come back with multiple card decks and put them on the table. Diana grabbed them and doled out cards to each person. Sebastian sat down and waited for the game to start.

  “Same rules,” their father said. “Hands on the table, leave the table for latrine breaks only, and there are to be no alliances.”

  Kevin snorted. “Not all of us cheat like you do, Father.”

  “Enough of you do,” Lord Orwell said.

  An hour passed with James and Emily hoarding large piles of winnings and everyone else frowning at much smaller piles. There was a knock at the door, and everyone stopped. Lord Orwell stood and motioned everyone to keep playing. He straightened his collar, took a deep breath, and opened the door. “Trenton?”

  “Good Solstice,” a hearty voice said from outside. “I’m sorry to inconvenience you, but I was on the road and can’t find a place to spend the night. I know it’s late on a holiday, but do you mind putting us up for the night?”

  “Of course not. How could I?” Lord Orwell asked jovially. “It will be a tight fit, but I’ll make room. Come inside, and ah, Dalia and Feoras, I didn’t see you there.”

  Lady Orwell clenched her fingers around her cards.

  “Cynthia, we have company!” Lord Orwell called ou
t as he stepped away from the door. His guests followed him in, and Sebastian saw his enemy for the first time.

  Unlike his father’s other friends, Trenton didn’t try to appear fancy or carry fake medals. The robes he wore were expensive but simple. As evidence of his power, Trenton’s aging had stopped near thirty unlike the older-looking Lord Orwell. Feoras and Dalia must have been powerful too, because they appeared to be James’s peers and not Caspian Orwell’s.

  “The food has been put away, but a plate will be simple to heat up,” Lord Orwell said.

  “That’s all right,” Dalia said, smiling at Lady Orwell. “My stomach didn’t agree with me the last time I ate here.”

  Lady Orwell’s face lit up. “Are you sure? It wouldn’t be any trouble to prepare you something special.”

  Dalia’s eyes narrowed. “I’m sure.”

  “Four of your girls are missing, Caspian. I hoped to meet your whole family,” Trenton said.

  “I’m honored that you felt the need to learn about my entire family,” Lord Orwell said. “Alice is turning in her children, and Ophelia is chatting with Diana in her room.”

  “And the youngest, girl, Cecilia?” Dalia asked.

  Sebastian glanced at his mother during the exchange and watched her irises turn red.

  “You really do your research.” Lord Orwell smiled weakly. “She’s too pregnant for travel, and it’s her first winter Solstice with her husband.”

  “I remember when you and Cynthia first married. Has it really been that many years, Caspian?” Trenton chuckled. “Where’s the adventurer?”

  Lord Orwell scratched his head. “If you mean Richard, he passed several years ago.”

  “I’m sorry to bring up bad memories,” Trenton said. “I mean the mysterious Sebastian I’ve heard tales of.” Trenton walked to the table and stopped behind Sebastian’s chair. “The one with magicked cloaks, who no one knows what lies under his hood.” He bent so he was level with Sebastian’s head. “I hear you saved the prince’s life.”

  Sebastian shrugged. “Any citizen would have done it. I was lucky.”

  “Lucky? Don’t be humble. You should be proud of your heroics.”

  “I keep hearing that, but I can’t take full credit when the assassins were so incompetent,” Sebastian said. He arranged his cards and placed the royal faces together.

  “I heard they nearly killed the prince, so they had to be talented men,” Feoras said.

  “I don’t know who told you that,” Sebastian said. “One fool assassin tripped and fell on his own knife while another one tried to talk me to death. And no man can be too bright if they attack a place called Wizards’ Row.”

  “An excellent point, young man.” Trenton interrupted before Feoras could say anything else. “Regardless of your thoughts, I still think you should be commended for your efforts.”

  “That’s kind of you,” Sebastian said. “Father, you have a minute to draw a card, or you’re giving up your spot.”

  “We obviously have guests, so you can wait a bit,” Lord Orwell told his son.

  “Tick tock,” Kevin said. “Wasting time is a loser’s bet.”

  “I can’t put anything into your sorry heads, but you remember a comment from two years ago?” Lord Orwell asked. He faced Trenton. “I’m sorry, I could never instill gratitude in this lot.”

  “Gratitude for what?” Demetrius asked. “Giving up our beds for frauds who probably have no magic or scammed with you back in the day? If they’re ducking the law, I suggest they sleep elsewhere. Twenty seconds, Father.”

  Lord Orwell glared at his children. “You take your tasks a little too seriously.”

  Sebastian smiled over his cards. Bitching about their father’s unexpected visitors was definitely normal behavior for them.

  “I assure you, we are no criminals,” Trenton said. “We are historians, but none of us are powerful mages—a trait we have in common with your father.”

  Sebastian’s eyebrow rose under his hood. A half-truth by the skin of his teeth and a veiled insult at Father. I wonder what terms they left on, he thought.

  “May I please watch?” Dalia asked. “It’s been too long since I’ve seen you in action, Cynthia.”

  “You’re not missing much,” Lady Orwell said.

  “I can see that. What a strapping young man. Big and clever,” Dalia said as she walked behind James and squeezed his arm. “He might take the whole pot.”

  James moved her hand away. “Deal out, Father.”

  “Excuse me for a moment.” Lord Orwell stomped to the stack of cards and drew out three of them. He made a noncommittal “hm” and slapped two cards down.

  “It’s a shame to see a boy I’ve heard to be so clever losing,” Trenton said near Sebastian’s ear.

  “Gossiping isn’t the best way to learn things,” Sebastian said. Lord Orwell cleared his throat, and Sebastian rolled his eyes. He was already holding his tongue, and being nice would make Trenton suspicious. Trenton and his companions put their bags down and returned to watching the Orwells play.

  “You don’t have a lot of stones left,” Trenton said.

  “Keep your mind on your own stones,” Sebastian said. His father cleared his throat again. Sebastian dug through his cloak pocket and pulled out a coughing remedy. He tossed it to his father, who barely caught it in time. “Drink that and pipe down. I’m not winning, but I’m not in as bad a straits as you.”

  “My throat is fine,” Lord Orwell said and pitched the potion at Sebastian’s head.

  Sebastian caught it and put it back in his pocket.

  “Gloves too?” Trenton asked.

  “He even has boots,” Pratchett piped in. He threw his cards in the side pile. “I’m out.”

  “And socks.” Kraven giggled.

  “I should have taken the bottle away from you sooner,” Pratchett said.

  Kraven sighed. “I’ll never marry.”

  “What nonsense are you going on about?” Pratchett asked.

  “Sebastian, take Kraven to his room,” James said. “I’ll make up my room and Cecilia’s for our guests after the game.”

  Sebastian looked across the table at his family. He nodded to Kevin for his attention. “An hour of free work if you watch my cards.”

  “I accept,” Kevin said.

  “Since I’m intruding, please let me help you,” Trenton suggested when Sebastian stood.

  “No thanks. The only time I need more hands is if Kevin is passed out.” Sebastian grabbed Kraven by the elbow and hoisted his brother up.

  “No one will want me,” Kraven muttered.

  “You didn’t lose your money, so you’re still marriageable,” Sebastian said, ignoring that Kraven probably meant when word got out Trenton was staying with them. “Everything always works out, and you’ll be better in the morning.”

  “Not after people find out—” Kraven started but slumped to the floor when Sebastian loosened his hold.

  “I guess I do need help,” Sebastian said. At least falling to the floor made Kraven shut up.

  “I’ll help,” James said at the same time as Trenton.

  James scooted his chair out from Dalia leaning over his shoulder and joined Sebastian. “You can pay us back by keeping your celebration with Father at a reasonable noise level and not passing out like this drunkard. I’m not small by any means, but you’re too tall to lug around.” James bent with Sebastian, and they carried their brother upstairs. When they reached the upper floor, Sebastian wanted to check on Ophelia, but it was smarter for her door to remain shut. The room itself was fortified with dwarven stones and wood from the forest.

  “She’s gonna leave me,” Kraven sobbed out, and Sebastian looked at James for help.

  “They will leave before anyone finds out,” James whispered. “Even if we have to make them.”

  Sebastian said nothing and held Kraven’s door open while James maneuvered their brother into the room. Safely past the threshold, Sebastian took Kraven’s arm again and gently d
eposited him on the bed. Kraven tucked into himself like a child and James sighed.

  “We tell Father nothing,” James said. “He got us into this mess, and he’s not dependable enough to get us out of it.”

  “How do we convince them to leave?” Sebastian asked.

  “Everyone has a free pass to be on their worst behavior. Wind up Alice as much as you want, and my mouth is shut when it comes to Pratchett or Demetrius.”

  “What if they hate us so much they try to kill us?”

  “Then we use Mother’s first suggestion,” James said. “I’m not on board with her yet because I have no idea what Trenton did with his army.”

  “They’re probably nearby or he wouldn’t have needed to ward the house,” Sebastian said.

  “I hold the same opinion,” James said. “Either way, we should go downstairs before we’re missed.” James closed Kraven’s door, and the brothers went downstairs.

  “Why weren’t they timed?” Lord Orwell asked when his sons grabbed their seats.

  “Because they’re not you,” Rebecca said. “Hurry and move, James. My wife wants Luke’s pretty sword.”

  James picked up two cards and placed a different pair in the pile. Smiling, he slid two gold coins in the middle. “You’ll have to buy it with your own money.”

  Kevin and Luke threw their cards in the pile. “I surrender for now,” Kevin said.

  Sebastian dropped two gold coins next to James’s, and Emily added in two coins too.

  Demetrius joined in, and so did Rebecca.

  “Cards is the only time you bastards are honest about how much money you have,” Pratchett said.

  “Time to see who’s bluffing,” Demetrius said, and everyone revealed their cards.

  Kevin laughed. “I knew it felt like a sucker’s bet.”

  “Shut up,” James said as Sebastian swept up the winnings.

  “The rumors are true. You are a clever boy,” Trenton said.

  “I’m not a boy, but I can see why I appear so young to someone as old as Father,” Sebastian said.

  “Clever but not well-mannered,” Feoras said quietly.

  “That is a claim you can utter after I stomp in your home uninvited in the dead of night.”

  “Sebastian,” Lord Orwell said.