The Librarian

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The Librarian Page 12

by Christy Sloat


  Ugh, this guy again! I had been dodging his calls for months. I didn’t want to sell Gram’s property to him or to anyone.

  “Listen, Jason, I told you before that I’m not selling, and I meant it. Please stop calling me.”

  I poised my finger over the end call button as he said, “Please reconsider, Miss Bailey. Our family has been in this area a long time. My great-great grandfather founded Bay Ridge in 1893.”

  My mouth dropped open as I pulled my finger back.

  “What…what did you just say?”

  There was a pause before he repeated himself.

  “I said my family founded Bay Ridge. Over a hundred and twenty years ago. So we’ve been trying to preserve the land.”

  “By building freaking malls on it! You disgust me! I’m sure they would have been so angry to see what you tore down and built over it with. You know, I have an eye for beautiful things, Mr. whatever-your-name-is, and I can tell you that your shopping malls are not beautiful.”

  His laugh sounded through my phone so loudly that the speaker crackled. It wasn’t funny at all, and the fact that this jerk-wad was laughing at me, made me as angry as a hornet.

  He wasn’t doing his family proud. They had come here, from God-knows-where, and they started a life. They started a home for many and this guy was making money off of tearing down those homes.

  “You should be ashamed of yourself, Jason,” I said clearly, with no shame. “You say you’re trying to preserve Bay Ridge, but you want to take away a piece of history. My Gram’s library has been around for several generations. Mr. Harold Lockhart was the first to own it, and he was magnificent. You should do your homework.”

  “Oh, should I? And what, Miss Bailey, should I research?”

  “Try the term asshole first. Then after you learn a bit about yourself, learn about what real historical preserving is. Now goodbye!”

  I ended the call with a fierce slap so hard the phone went flying. I didn’t care. I was so flustered, and late for my class, that I fumbled out of the truck and left it behind.

  ****

  My hands hadn’t stopped shaking until I finished my exam. I should probably have skipped it all together after that phone call. His arrogance was a little too much for me to handle, so I texted Rose, asking her to meet me at the coffee shop for some much needed advice.

  She got there before me, and I could see her inside talking to Tarryn. I put the truck into park and got out. The sun was shining, but it did little to brighten my mood.

  “Hey! How did the test go?” Tarryn asked, handing me a cup of coffee.

  I sighed. “I’m not so sure I passed. It was brutal.”

  With Rose here, I couldn’t go into too much detail about the reasons why. I just really wanted to see my friends and see some semblance of a light at the end of the tunnel. With JR Builders on my back constantly, I found it hard to want to stay in Maine. I could preserve the stories anywhere. I didn’t need to do it in Gram’s library. As long as I had her ring, I could follow my dream and move to England like I always wanted.

  “So, I have been hounded to sell the library,” I blurted before taking a sip of my coffee. Tarryn’s face fell but not Rose’s.

  No, her face looked almost happy. Rose always supported my passion to fly free of this place, but for her to look delighted at me selling the library shocked me.

  “Are you happy about that, Rose?” I found myself asking her sarcastically.

  She nodded and her mouth fell open slightly. “Don’t get me wrong, I will miss the old place, but it’s such a great location.”

  The old place?

  I knew that I wanted an out, but I also wanted someone to fight to keep me here too. Was that wrong? I wasn’t sure.

  “A good location for what exactly?” Tarryn asked bluntly. I could see in Tarryn’s face the same look I wanted to give my friend.

  Rose fumbled for words before finally saying, “I didn’t want to say anything to you after your Gram’s death. It wasn’t the right thing to tell you after that. But I want to open my own office here in town. I have my own dreams too, you know.”

  Rose did have her own desires, but I had no idea they included knocking down my library and building a strip mall and a doctor’s office for her.

  “I’m the best cardiovascular surgeon in this region, not to mention the youngest and the only one for miles. I want to open my own office to see patients outside of the hospital. These heart patients have to drive two hours to see a doctor in an office.”

  It was true; she was the best. But it was also true that the library helped residents. Not on the same level of course, but we were the only entertainment for many.

  “You don’t even want to be here, Emme. Don’t pretend like you wanted to come back to Bay Ridge. If your Gram wasn’t dying, you’d still be in California with all those snobs you called friends!”

  Whoa! That was it.

  “Rose, I’m going to pretend like you didn’t say the last part because I’ve had a really shitty day,” I stated as I stood up to gather my purse. My hands shook slightly as adrenaline coursed through me. “I understand that you want things for this town, but I do too. I wanted to help this town after Gram died. I had a duty to fulfill and I’m doing it. I refuse to sell it to anyone so they can build a strip mall and ruin one of the last historic buildings in Bay Ridge.”

  Tarryn stood then as well and gathered her things.

  “I may not have had plans to move back here, but I’m here now, and I’m not going anywhere,” I said. “Oh, and as for those snobby friends of mine, I wrote them out of my life like that.” I snapped my fingers and Rose’s eyes blinked. “I can do that with just about anyone who calls themselves my friend while at the same time stabbing me in the back.”

  I left with Tarryn and didn’t give Rose a second glance.

  Eighteen

  My day was awful, and I refused to let my night be the same. I took Jack’s book upstairs with me and crawled into bed. With or without Tarryn, I was traveling to see him, and I didn’t care about any consequences either. I flipped open to the last marked page and felt myself being whisked away from this world and all its drama.

  His eyes were the first thing I saw, so vibrant even in the darkness that they made me literally swoon.

  “Emmeline, you’re here,” he whispered before he hugged me to him. Before I could expect it, he kissed me fiercely like I was water and he was dying of thirst. I let him take me away from all my worries as I kissed him back. I didn’t know where we were, and I didn’t care. I ran my fingers through his curls and down his back. He let out a moan and that was all I could take; I pushed him and he fell back upon a large bed. The room we were in was only lit by the light of a fireplace, making him look so handsome. We were going fast, but I didn’t think about it too much. I needed him, and I felt that he needed me just as bad as I straddled him. My hair fell across his face, tickling him. He ran his hands down my back and when they came up, he gripped onto me like he was clinging on for dear life. We were going way past a make-out session in his carriage at this point.

  “Emmeline,” he whispered again, sending shivers through my whole body. “I want to be with you so badly that I’m not sure I can keep going without you. These days spent wondering if you will arrive had me going mad. You nearly gave me a fright appearing out of nowhere like this. But I shan’t complain one bit more.”

  If he was scared, he didn’t show it. The reception he gave me was that of hunger, not fear.

  I sighed, “I’m so sorry that I can’t be with you more, and I wish that I could be. I never know when I’m going to be able to get back here to be with you, and each time I do, I leave even more devastated than the last.”

  I sat up and looked at him, drinking him in. He was wearing a white shirt, untucked from his pants. The fabric
fell loosely around his muscular body.

  “Emmeline, I must be frank with you about something,” he said as I began running my hands along the soft fabric.

  “You can tell me anything.”

  I loved the way he looked at me like I was the first girl he’d ever seen. It made me feel special, like the most beautiful thing in his life.

  “I’m not quite sure how to put this,” he mumbled as I kissed his neck.

  “Am I going too fast? Do you not want to be with me like this?” I sat up fast.

  It would be just like me to scare a guy away by going faster than he was ready for. I didn’t want him to think I was some sort of hussy, but I couldn’t help my feelings for him. I wanted him to see all of me, and I wasn’t scared of spending the night with him. Whether he was or not, was the real question.

  He sat up and I slid back onto the bed and off of him. He put his hands on my face, cupping my cheeks.

  “Fast might be a good word to describe it, but,” he leaned in closer and said, “don’t ever think for a moment that I do not want you, Emmeline Bailey. In fact, I’ll have you know, I have never wanted a woman as much as I want you. And there have been others who wanted me to court them, but I never felt for them as I do for you.”

  “Then what is it?” I asked as I hugged myself, feeling instantly shy.

  “Premarital relations are frowned upon in my time.”

  Shit. Stupid me. I had totally forgotten the rules of dating in this era. Coming here I wanted to get away from my troubles and lose myself in his arms, and I pushed him away instead.

  Suddenly, it dawned on me that Jack was probably a virgin. The way he was studying me didn’t give me that vibe though. Surely not the way he kissed me or caressed me; that was the work of a man who knew what he was doing.

  I couldn’t ask him. I was embarrassed enough that I came here and attacked him like I had.

  The way he was looking at me at that moment made me shiver once again, and I leaned forward, enclosing the space between us. Daring him, just to see how far he would go.

  “I would never ask you to give up your beliefs, Jack. I can’t deny how I feel about you. I’ve never felt this way about any guy, ever,” I confessed. Saying the words to him was a relief. “I’m sorry for throwing myself at you when you’re not ready. I would never want you to do something you weren’t ready for.”

  He closed his eyes as I spoke and licked his lips. Jesus, Mary, and Joseph, he was making this hard for me. As much as I wanted to back away and give him some space to calm down, I couldn’t bring myself to do it. He opened his eyes, and I could see a hunger there like I’ve never seen before. He brought his hand up and put it on my shoulder, drawing light circles all the way down to my hand. He took my hand in his and kissed it.

  “I’m yours, Emmeline, if you’ll have me. I want no other woman but you,” he told me before he kissed me gently on the lips. “I want to make you happy in any way that I can.”

  I wanted to be happy. He made me feel elated and light in his arms, and I didn’t want to change that.

  As he trailed kisses down my cheek and neck, I let my hands wrap around his. He lifted me from the bed and we stood together, looking at each other like it was the first time. I pulled his shirt over his head and threw it aside. His gloriously built body made my heart pound. He was beautiful, especially in the glow of the firelight.

  Off came my shirt and gently he tried to take off my bra, but I soon realized he had probably never seen anything like it before. I helped him, and it landed on the floor at my feet.

  “What on earth was that?” he asked with a laugh.

  “It’s called a bra. Trust me it’s not as sexy as a corset, but it feels better.”

  “Everything on you is smashing, Emmeline.”

  He ran his hands over my breasts as if memorizing the very detail of them. I wanted him so bad, but at the same time I didn’t want to rush. I wanted to take my time with Jack. His light feathery kisses ran from my chest down to my tummy. As he came to the button of my jeans, he looked up at me puzzled. I shrugged.

  “May I?”

  Hell yes, you may.

  I nodded and he ripped the top so hard the button flew off and across the room. A laugh escaped me but stopped when he pulled my jeans down, and he looked up at me. His serious face didn’t betray him. He wanted me, there was no denying it.

  How could I have thought differently? My heart knew the truth.

  My lace panties were the only thing left on my body. I wanted to rip them off, but Jack had other plans. He stood and lifted me again, this time, lying me gently onto the bed. I could feel the heat from the fireplace warming my already hot skin.

  With a swift movement, I was the only one dressed in the room. Jack lay atop me and started kissing me gently, teasingly. “Emmeline,” he whispered, “it’s urgent that I confess.”

  “Anything.”

  He looked away from me, almost ashamed.

  “Hey,” I said, lifting his chin. “We all have a first time.”

  He nodded, confirming my suspicions that he was a virgin.

  “It’s okay,” I told him. “I’m falling for you, Jack.”

  “I’ve already fallen.”

  There were no questions about me and my first time. No pressure. No feelings of regret.

  He leaned down and held me to him. He was this beautiful man and he was experiencing his first time with me. I wrapped my legs around him, hooking them behind his back.

  “Being with you makes me feel things I’ve never felt before,” he whispered. “I never want you to leave me.”

  I arched my back as I could feel the rushing heat between us. I didn’t want to leave him ever again. I could just slip off my ring and not ever go back. I’d be able to be with him, here, forever. We fell into each other as if time between us didn’t matter.

  I let him explore my body like I was a land he had never seen before, and I taught him things he probably never knew. We were one, and that was all that mattered for the time being.

  After we were finished loving each other, Jack fell beside me, his breathing labored, and stared at me in awe. His smile was so large, I wanted to take a picture of it and keep it forever. He was truly happy.

  “Are you pleased, Emmeline?” he asked.

  “Yes, Jack. Are you kidding? Seeing you happy is all I need right now.”

  He nodded and closed his eyes. I sat up and took in the beauty of his body in the light of the fire. This man was mine.

  But I couldn’t have him, could I?

  He was mine in my heart, but not really. He had lived his life, and I was only an intruder in his story. I was supposed to be preserving the pages written about him, but instead I was taking his virginity and maybe ruining his future.

  “What’s wrong, Emmeline?” he asked, sitting up.

  Tears came to my eyes, and I tried to hide them. Stupid emotions and reality ruined everything.

  “Are you upset?”

  “No, Jack. I’m just really happy, and I…I don’t want to leave you again,” I confessed. “I’m just a visitor in your life, but I want to be more.”

  He sat up and cradled me in his arms.

  “What is stopping you then? Stay with me and never leave. Become my wife, and we’ll start a family together. I can and will make you happy, Emmeline.”

  There was no doubt he would make my life good, so what was stopping me from ripping off the ring and staying with him?

  I couldn’t answer that question. All I knew was I had a foreboding feeling, and I didn’t belong in this time with him. I knew that my love for him was real, tangible.

  But our love wasn’t supposed to happen.

  “Let me please you, Emmeline. I can take the doubts from your mind,” he said as he kissed me. Tea
rs streamed down my face as he pulled me closer to him. “Just give me a chance.”

  I nodded and fell into his embrace. I lost myself again in his arms. He pulled me into a bliss I had never known. He taught me things about myself that I didn’t think possible.

  As he fell asleep, I rested my head on his chest. I could feel his breathing slow as he began to drift further and further into dreamland. I looked at the ring on my finger and realized at any moment I could be ripped away from Jack and the beauty of what we had made here. It was then that I took it off and put it into my pocket.

  Nineteen

  I woke to the sounds of people talking. I sat up quickly and pulled the covers up around my bare breasts. Where is my shirt? I wondered as it started to click that I wasn’t at home, but instead with Jack. Wherever that was.

  We talked about a lot of things last night, except for where he was currently living. I looked around the now cold room and Jack wasn’t anywhere. The room looked dramatically differently during the day than it did last night. What I had thought was the most romantic setting was instead a basic and almost empty looking space. There were only a few pieces of furniture: a bed, a dresser, and a chair. The strangest thing about the room was there was a sink and wash towels. I wasn’t expecting to see that in the room, and I hoped there wasn’t a toilet in here too.

  I got out of the bed and put on my shirt and jeans—checking to make sure my ring was still secure in the pocket, and it was. I ran the water in the sink and washed my face quickly. There was no hope for my hair, so I ran my wet fingers through it to calm the crazy wild curls, thanks to bed-head. I checked myself over in the mirror and realized that there was no way I would ever fit in looking like that, so there was no use in fixing my hair at all. Nothing I did to my hair or clothes at this point would work; I wasn’t from this time and that was that.

 

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