I looked out the window hoping for some sign of where Jack was, but all I found was a rocky cliff overlooking the ocean, children playing, and women hanging clothes on a clothesline. I did a double take at the ocean and instantly opened the window to get a better look. As soon as I did, the smell of salty air hit me. We were in Maine. No doubt about it. I knew that salty sea air and that ocean.
“See anything you like out there?”
I turned fast to see Jack balancing a tray full of food with one hand and closing the door with the other. I rushed to his aid just in time to save a dish of grapes. He thanked me and set the tray down on the bed.
“I thought I would run out and get us a proper breakfast. I imagine you’re famished,” he said.
Thinking about it, I was hungry. We stayed up pretty late, and I hadn’t eaten before I came here.
I popped a grape into my mouth and nodded as the fruit burst in my mouth. I didn’t realize how hungry I was until then.
“These grapes are so good,” I said before I put more in. “You really need some.”
I held one out to him, and he opened his mouth, letting me feed him. His full lips took the grape and he sucked it in. The way he chewed it made me sigh. I had never known a man who could make eating so damn sexy.
“Do you like what you saw?” he asked.
“Excuse me?”
“Outside. Did you like the view?”
I laughed. Of course he didn’t mean the view of him chewing.
“I always said I had an eye for beautiful things, and that view is more than beautiful. We’re in Maine, aren’t we?”
His face grew into a huge grin as he tapped me on the nose with his finger tip.
“How are you so intelligent, Emmeline Bailey?”
I shrugged. “I’ve lived here, there, my whole life. The Maine coast is the most beautiful. I mean not even California can compare,” I told him as I shoveled a piece of bread into my mouth.
“California? What is that?”
I laughed and a piece of bread came flying out of my mouth. Always the graceful lady.
“California,” I restated, saying slowly this time. “I guess you wouldn’t know about it yet. But you will the longer you’re here in the United States. You’ll hear all about the Gold Rush that occurred.”
He nodded like it sounded familiar.
“Yes, now it’s ringing a bell. Someone was saying that their cousin went west in search of gold,” he said.
He took his napkin and plated it gracefully over his lap before buttering his bread. “And you’ve been there?”
I put my bread down and copied his manners, putting my napkin over my lap. “I lived there. It’s where I went to college, before …”
“Ah, yes, before your grandmother passed away. Emmeline, you mustn’t feel like you have to do as I do.”
I looked up from my bread and said, “Huh?”
He pointed at me. “You’re mimicking me. You do not need to do as I do; be yourself. That’s what I love so much about you, how you’re nothing like me. I was raised in a home where we had servants who followed us ‘round the clock. My valet dressed me and opened doors for me. We sit at a table and are served food.” He paused and sighed heavily. “I cannot even sneak into a kitchen to steal a tray of food without someone doing it for me.”
Suddenly I felt sad for him. I was raised with a freedom Jack would never know. It was almost comparable to being a movie star. He lived a lush life that I looked at from afar and wished I had. But at the end of the day, I was happy in my little home because it was comfortable and it was mine.
“Where are we anyway? Is this your new home?”
He shook his head and waved his hand. “My father would keel over if he knew I was staying here. He thinks I’m on my way to his new estate in two days. I took advantage of the boat’s early arrival and booked myself a small holiday here.”
I nodded in understanding. He needed a breather before he was forced to be around his pushy father. I wished that I could bring him back through the book with me for those two days. Instead we had to make the best of the time we had together.
“I can stay with you if you want.” I suddenly realized that taking off my ring might not have been a good idea. What if he wanted to be alone and not spend time dragging his futuristic girlfriend around?
“You can stay, here? How does that work exactly?”
I pulled the ring from my pocket and I placed it into his open palm.
“This ring tethers me to my time. Without it, I’m here and I cannot travel back until I place it back on my finger. Why don’t you hold onto it for me?”
He looked at it and admired the gemstone.
“I may not ever give it back to you, Emmeline, for fear of losing you again to the pages of a book.” He put it on his pinkie and winked at me. “Will you be missed at home?”
I shook my head. “No.”
Now that the ring left my hand, I was no longer there in body. My full self, spirit and physical, was here and all that would be left behind was the book. Hopefully Tarryn knew that I wasn’t missing but instead with Jack. I wished I could get a note to her not to worry about me. I wondered whether time moved the same there as it did here, and if I would be gone for the same amount of days.
“Maybe missing for two days is a bad idea.”
“Is it?” Jack asked looking up at me.
“Did I say that aloud?”
“You did, yes. If it’s too long, you can go back tonight. I refuse to let you leave me now. I do have the ring, remember?” He held up his sparkly pinkie and wiggled it at me. “Let’s make the best of the day. I would like to see the ocean today. Do you fancy a swim?”
I would fancy being with him again in this bed, but heck, I’d be down for getting into a bikini and going for a dip. Anything to get my body next to his.
“I’ll need to change first. I can’t go swimming in this, unless we go naked,” I said with a wink.
He swallowed hard and stood fast, causing his food to fall on the floor.
“I’ll get you someone…someone to give you attire. Even though, being bare with you would be a jolly good time.”
I loved his accent so much. I’d show him a jolly time indeed.
As I stood in the hideous apparel the women of nineteenth century called swimwear, I realized Jack and I would not be seeing much of each other’s bodies anytime soon. The swimsuit was a godawful piece of clothing that I compared to a tent. It didn’t hug any of my curves or flatter any part of my body at all. It was navy blue and pinstriped. It wasn’t even a pretty color. I wondered who designed this as I played with the bulky material.
“Ah, it fits you nicely, dearie,” said the lady who put me into it.
I shook my head and replied, “I think it’s too big.”
She only cackled at me, like I told a hilarious joke.
“It’s just your size, and if you ask me, I think it might show just a bit too much already. Anything smaller would be too risqué for a nice girl like you.”
She continued to laugh at me as she left me alone in the room. I flipped her off, without her noticing, and turned to look at the rest of the clothes she left for me.
The dresses were gorgeous, but this thing, this was worthy of a match when I got back. For now I had no choice but to wear it.
Twenty
The beach was empty, except for a handsome guy standing in shorts and a striped shirt.
He waved at me and I waved back. I sure hoped he didn’t think I looked as awful as I felt. When I made it over to him, he whistled.
“Do not tease me, Jack,” I warned. I could feel my cheeks reddening.
“Emmeline, I promise you that I wasn’t. You look absolutely smashing in that bathing suit.”
I l
ooked up and smiled. “Really?”
“Truly. You’re gams are astonishing.”
Gams? Oh, legs.
“Thank you. You look quite sexy yourself in this,” I said as I ran my hands over his chest. He made his striped suit, which reminded me slightly of a prison jumpsuit, look dashing.
“Are you up for a swim?”
I was up for anything. I took his hand and he guided me toward the water. Looking out beyond at the endless sea, I couldn’t help but feel foolish for worrying about how I looked. Jack saw me as a beautiful thing, and I had to say, he could wear anything and I’d still feel the same for him. I realized how my era was so behind in what was truly beautiful.
A swimsuit didn’t make a girl pretty in his time. He was attracted to the real me, even though my body was completely covered in this tent, aka suit.
The cold water hit our feet, causing us to scream at the same time. I splashed him with a handful of it, and he glared at me teasingly.
“Oh, you’re in for it now, Emme. I’m going to dunk you.” He chased me around until he did dunk me.
We finally got tired of playing with the icy water and landed on the beach shivering.
Jack pulled a blanket over me and rubbed my arms gently.
“I’m not accustomed to spending time with a woman like you in public.”
“What do you mean?” I asked through chattering teeth, trying to ignore the “like you” part.
“What we did last night, and just now, is considered poor manners and low quality. It would make me an improper man. I assure you, Emme, I am a gentleman,” he said quietly. “I feel as if I’m dishonoring my name by being so forward with you.”
He had been calling me Emme for the last hour or so, but I thought nothing of it until then. He had called me Emmeline up until we had sex, and I couldn’t help but think that being just Emme now meant he didn’t respect me.
Instead of dwelling on it, I tried to find the words to make him feel like the time we spent wasn’t making him a horrible person, but I didn’t know how to explain it in terms that he would understand. Instead, I just said, “Jack, compared to men in my time, you’re of the highest quality. And you’re the only man I have had feelings for.”
He blinked.
“You cannot be serious, Emme. The only man?”
I shrugged. What could I say that would make him believe me?
“I don’t exactly get close to guys. I stay away from relationships like this. I would have never gone to the beach after spending the night with a guy.” I realized how much of a hussy I was making myself out to be. Jack must have registered this thought at the same time as I did. It was written all over his face. “I care about you very much, Jack. You’re special to me. You mean more to me than any guy I’ve ever met.”
He nodded and soon after looked away from me and focused his attention on the sea. I was losing his respect. I hated that I was being judged for my past indiscretions. If he was a lady’s man, I wouldn’t be able to evaluate his life without getting flack for it. Instead I’d hear, “Boys will be boys.”
The fact was: I was in love with him now, and I was embarrassed about my past. But how did I tell him that in a way he would truly understand it?
“Please try to understand that it is socially acceptable in my time for a woman to want to have sex with a man and not get married right after. Women have certain needs too, not just men.” This was going terrific so far, since he didn’t even make eye contact with me. I took a deep breath and tried to bury the sarcasm. “Since my dad died, I didn’t have a father figure in my life. Gram did her best to teach me about being a woman, but I didn’t have a man to fulfill the role of protector. So, when it came to guys, I stayed far away. I pushed myself further and further away from any potential relationships. And I just dated casually. Is this like, a big deal to you?”
For a few seconds, that felt like minutes, he didn’t say a word. I looked out at the raging ocean before us, wishing that I could slip my ring on and disappear. This was the most awkward situation I’d ever been in. I felt a tear escape and drop on my hand. I didn’t usually cry over boys, but Jack was making me feel awful.
“I can’t pretend I’m something I’m not,” I choked out.
He finally looked at me, and I saw a storm in his blue eyes. “I am not asking that of you, Emmeline. I won’t make you be someone you’re truly not. It’s just simply unheard of for such a lady, in high standings, to be…familiar with men in that way.”
That hurt. A lot.
“So basically I’m the equivalent of a slut in your eyes?”
All I heard was a deep intake of breath from him and that was it. He didn’t deny it. I had only shocked him more.
I got up from the sand and hauled ass away from him, and I didn’t look back.
Once back at the hotel, my face was a mess. I could see all the women staring at me as I walked up. I tried to wipe away the tears, but I knew once I cried, my face would turn beat red and it was hard to hide. I finally made it to the room, ripping off the stupid bathing suit and throwing it across the room. It landed with a slap on the wall and slid all the way down to the floor.
I found my clothes and quickly got dressed. I needed to get back home and deal with my own life. This was the exact reason why I didn’t let men into my life; I would get hurt.
I had a complicated duty now as a preserver, and that meant getting cozy with my subject was the worst idea I had ever had. Just because Jack was handsome didn’t mean I should have jumped his bones. I should have just done my job and left it at that. But nooo, I had to fall in love with him. His actions on the beach had me questioning my real feelings for him. Was it really love or infatuation? What was the difference anyway? I couldn’t answer that since I had never felt anything for a man before.
If he had real feelings for me, he wouldn’t have ever talked to me in that way. That I do know.
I searched the room for my Gram’s ring and realized Jack had it still.
“Dammit!” I yelled as loud as I could. The truth was, I was upset from my fight with Rose and I came here to see him, hoping it would make me feel better. That plan didn’t work because now I felt worse. I tried to run away from my problems, and it did no good.
Jack had my ticket out of here, and there was no way I would be asking for it back. I lay on the bed and cried. I cried for the girl inside me that made stupid choices. I also cried for the college life I left behind in California. Sometimes I wished that I had just never come home, as awful as that sounded.
I cried until I couldn’t stop my eyes from shutting. And then I fell asleep.
****
“Emme? Wake up, darling,” Jack’s voice pulled me from dreamland. After I had torn apart the room looking for the ring, I laid on the bed. I must have fallen asleep shortly after.
I sat up and rubbed my eyes; they were raw and painful from crying.
“What are you doing here?” I asked harshly.
He looked down at the floor and then back up at me. Guilt crossed his face.
“Were you looking for this?” He held up his pinkie finger and I saw Gram’s ring.
Clothes were strewn about the room in a mad disarray. I didn’t bother fixing anything that I ruined since I was so pissed. I wanted the ring and I wanted to go home. I never dreamed he wore it into the ocean on his finger. I rolled my eyes.
“Yes. I wanted to go home. I still do,” I said simply.
He looked hurt, but I wasn’t going to worry about sparing his feelings one bit. He didn’t care about sparing mine.
“Listen, I will let you go, if that’s really what you want.”
“It is.”
“Emmeline, first let me explain my actions on the beach. Please, I beg of you.”
I crossed my arms defiantly and nodded. This had
better be good.
“Thank you. First and foremost, I have been with a woman before you. We weren’t as intimate as you and I were last night, but we were close. I stopped it before it went too far. I wanted to be with my wife for the first time, not someone I was courting.”
I sighed and said, “Well, I’m sorry I was the one who ruined your perfect first time and your image.”
He shook his head and cringed a little.
“Well, I’m not sorry it was you. Actually, I’m quite happy that it was. On the beach, I was just trying to explain the feelings of guilt I had. You don’t have to understand why I feel that way, I just do.”
I bit my tongue, trying to not say something sarcastic. I had an issue with that. I pulled my legs up and closed my eyes. I had to try to understand Jack’s point of view. If I was from his time, I would understand. I knew I would.
I opened my eyes and sat up. He looked so upset, and I could tell he was hurting just from the look on his face. Jack came from a noble family that honored women and made it their pride to be respectable men.
“Jack, you should have told me to wait. We could have, you know?”
He nodded and met my eyes. “Have you seen yourself? You’re gorgeous. When you came here last night, I was in a bad way. I needed to hold you, and I sensed you needed that as well.”
“But we didn’t have to go so far, especially if you didn’t want to. I can wait, you know. I’m not some sex fiend.”
He made a face at me. “Sex fiend?”
I sighed. “Yeah, like I have to have it. I could have just kissed a little and let you hold me.”
He scooted closer to me on the bed. I could sense that he was trying to go slow with me, not sure whether I was ready for him to touch me. So, I reached out and grabbed his hand.
“I had a bad day yesterday, too. I think I wanted to be held just as much as you did. But when I’m with you, it’s not that easy,” I explained. “It’s like there is an electricity between us. It only intensifies when we kiss, and I couldn’t stop myself. When you told me how you felt about me, well, it only made me want it more. I’m sorry for ruining your honorable past.” I meant it.
The Librarian Page 13
