The Scavengers Strike Back

by Marcus Emerson

  The ninja grabbed the top of his mask. With a snap of his wrist, he yanked his ninja mask off his face.

  The boy under the mask … the one whose voice was so familiar …

  … was me.

  I was staring, dumbfounded, at my own face as he smiled an evil smile back at me.

  ‘Mind. Blown,’ Naoki stated from across the room. ‘Chase, he must be a clone! Your evil clone!’

  ‘But that’s impossible!’ I said. ‘All the way out here at the edge of the galaxy? If he were a clone of me, where’d he even get the hair?’

  Naoki looked at me, puzzled. The ninja with my face did the same thing.

  ‘You mean, like, the hair they used to clone you?’ Naoki asked.

  ‘No,’ I said. ‘The hair that’s sitting on top of his head right now.’

  The ninja with my face ran his fingers through his thick head of hair. ‘This hair?’

  ‘Yeah!’ I said. ‘If you’re my clone, then where’d you even get that?’

  Naoki and my evil clone looked at each other. Naoki shrugged.

  ‘You don’t really understand how cloning works, do you?’ the ninja asked.

  I pouted, but, like, a heroic pout. ‘Yuh-huh.’

  My evil clone walked around me slowly. ‘You’re broken, Chase. You’ve been cracked over and over, and now you’re barely able to keep yourself together anymore.’

  ‘So that’s it?’ I asked. ‘You brought me here to break me?’

  The clone nodded. ‘I’m the perfect version of you! Flawless and awesome. I’m going to replace you, and by the time anyone realises I’m not you, the world will already be mine. Humanity will bow before my ninja fist!’

  ‘Pretty sure my friends will know something’s up because of that goatee,’ I huffed.

  My clone stopped and narrowed his eyes at me. ‘You know I can shave it off, right?’

  ‘Dangit!’ I grunted. ‘You know you’re in a boatload of trouble when I get free from these shadow ninjas, right?’

  ‘Then I suppose it’s time for me to relieve you from your duty …’ the clone said, ‘… of living.’

  ‘He said doodie!’ Naoki laughed.

  ‘Dude! Not helping!’ I shouted. I was beginning to wonder whether a raccoon was a poor choice of sidekick.

  In a flash of black, my evil clone spun away from me and floated in the air for a full second, charging himself up. And then he tightened his fists and threw his finishing move.

  Raising my hands, I did my best to block the attack, but I was too late. His punch landed square on my cheek …

  But to my surprise, it barely hurt. Actually, it was more annoying than painful. It was kind of like a piece of toast had hit me in the face.

  Wait, what?

  I wasn’t on some abandoned space station on the edge of the galaxy. I was in the school cafeteria, staring at a piece of toast that was on the table in front of me.

  Someone from the next table next had thrown it, and that entire table of kids was snickering and pointing at me.

  And then another bit of toast came from the table, sailing high in the air until landing right on top of my head.

  Great. What a way to start the week.

  I had got to school a little early, so I thought it would be nice to grab some breakfast. Most of the time, breakfast in the cafeteria was pretty quiet, but for some reason that morning, a couple of kids thought it’d be funny to chuck food at me.

  I think they were still mad about the newsletter that came out a few weeks back – the one the Scavengers printed with secrets about every sixth grader in the school. And of course, the Scavengers made it look like I was behind the newsletter.

  Since I didn’t feel like being a target for the kids at the next table, I scooped up my tray and headed for the rubbish bin at the side of the cafeteria.

  I caught a glimpse of Naomi at the other end of the lunchroom. She was sitting alone, but she didn’t notice me. Good thing too, because I probably would’ve looked away as soon as she did, which was the obvious clue that someone was staring at you.

  For the past couple of weeks, it was like some secret part of my brain would find Naomi before I realised it. Whenever she was around, I knew exactly where she was before even looking at her. Sometimes I imagined a giant carnival sign with her name on it, hovering over her head, trying to get my attention.

  Naomi was eating a sausage roll. An orange juice was on the table in front of her, next to a small cup that looked like something from a tea party set.

  Naomi used to be one of my best friends. She was a strong member of my ninja clan, and we had fun together even when it wasn’t about ninja stuff. But that all ended when she turned out to be a spy for the bad guys. She had been lying to me since the first week of school, pretending to be one of my ninjas – and my friend.

  The real bummer though? Naomi might’ve been a ‘bad guy’, but I still missed her as a friend. Sure, she might’ve been playing me from the start, but we had some real laughs together.

  When I got to the rubbish bin, I tipped my tray and banged it against the side of the plastic barrel. I watched all my food plop down into the depths of nastiness with a gross SPLORT.

  ‘Seriously?’ a boy said from behind me. ‘You hardly ate any of that food! You’re just gonna waste it like that? Why even bother getting breakfast if all you’re gonna do is take a bite and throw the rest out?’

  The boy’s name was Jesse, and he was a volunteer cashier for the kitchen. Sixth graders were allowed to volunteer for school positions like that if their grades were good enough.

  ‘Sorry, man,’ I said, feeling guilty. I didn’t want to explain that my breakfast was already digesting in my belly. I had just thrown out the toast had been chucked at me.

  Jesse shook his head. ‘No, I’m sorry,’ he said, nudging me aside as he grabbed the sides of the black rubbish bag that lined the barrel. ‘Maybe next time, don’t buy so much toast.’

  I didn’t feel like arguing. ‘Righto, captain.’

  He looked at me, annoyed. And then got back to pulling the rubbish bag from the bin.

  I set my tray on the kitchen counter, and headed for the school lobby. I had a few minutes to try and find my friends.

  Out in the lobby, kids were pushing through the front doors, trying to escape the freezing cold weather outside. The temperature had dropped over the weekend, which meant it was officially time for snowballs and winter coats.

  A bunch of kids were clumped together just inside the building, staring up at the brand new statue of (dead) President James Buchanan.

  But this statue was not like any other statue. The rumour spreading across the earballs of everyone in school was that a video game company had gone out of business, and had sold everything in their studio for super cheap, including ginormous statues of heroes from their last game.

  Buchanan School bought one of the statues, and replaced the head of the video game character with the head of James Buchanan. Which meant our statue was a super jacked, and I mean ripped, James Buchanan next to a giant grizzly bear.

  The president was wearing a fur loincloth and holding a tiny pole with a little school flag on it.

  ‘James Buchanan looks like a dude who knew how to party,’ Zoe said from next to me. ‘Or fight off an army of the undead. Either-or.’

  Zoe was my cousin. She was also the school president.

  ‘Right?’ I said, admiring the huge statue. It was over two-and-a-half metres high. ‘Is he supposed to be fighting that bear, or is that a pet bear?’

  ‘I think it’s his pet,’ Zoe replied.

  ‘What a goofy thing to have in our lobby,’ Faith said from my other side.

  ‘So …’ I said, ‘Learn any cool ninja moves lately?’

  Faith was one of my best friends, but she was also the white ninja! Too bad anytime I tried bringing it up in conversation, she completely ignored me as if I wasn’t even there.

  Faith pressed her lips together and said, ‘That bear is freakin’ m
e out, man.’

  See? She totes ignored me.

  ‘Is it the bear’s hairstyle?’ Faith asked. Then she leaned forwards and yelled, ‘Get a haircut, ya yak!’

  ‘That’s a bear,’ I said. ‘Not a yak.’

  Faith rubbed the bridge of her nose. ‘I know, dude. It was a joke.’

  ‘Well, it wasn’t very funny!’ I said playfully. ‘How do you think yaks feel when you confuse them with bears?’

  ‘Dude,’ Faith sighed. ‘Yaks don’t care.’

  ‘They don’t care?’ I said. ‘That’s redonkulous! Of course they care!’

  ‘Quit makin’ up words, Cooper!’ Faith snipped.

  Zoe finally leaned over. ‘Children,’ she scolded. ‘Maybe try using your inside voices? And what’s all this talk about donkey lips?’

  ‘Re-donk-u-lous,’ I said slowly. ‘Not donkey lips.’

  ‘Why’re you makin’ up words?’ Zoe said.

  ‘Forget it,’ I groaned.

  That’s when Faith started bouncing her shoulders to a silent beat. Zoe stared into my eyes as her shoulders started to bounce too. Then, with her lips pressed tight … she started beatboxing.

  ‘Yak, yak, yak, yak, yakkity yak, yak,’ Faith rapped like she was in a rap battle. ‘Attack of the wacky yak, wacky tacky yakky yak. The yak shack! Severe lack of yak back! Yo, that yak is whack, Jack! Yak is the brand new black, mack! We’re the yak pack!’

  Zoe and Faith both crossed their arms at me when they were finished.

  I burst out laughing. ‘Did you guys plan that or something?’ I asked. ‘Is that why you made the joke about the yak? So that you could break into a yak rap?’

  Faith giggled. ‘Totes,’ she said. ‘It was Zoe’s idea. Next, we’re gonna be able to slide into a smooth breakdance at the drop of a hat.’

  ‘It’s gonna be suh-weeeeeeeeet!’ Zoe said, shutting her eyes.

  I wasn’t sure exactly what was happening, but it was awesome. It was possible that Zoe was going to grow up to be weirder than me.

  Zoe looked at me, and got serious. ‘You know we’ve got that meeting in a few minutes, right? You didn’t forget, did you?’

  ‘No way, dude!’ I said. ‘I didn’t forget at all!’

  ‘Cool,’ Zoe said. ‘Wait, you’re not doing that thing where you say, ‘no way, dude,’ just to make me happy because you actually really did forget about the meeting?’

  ‘No!’ I said.’

  ‘He forgot,’ Faith laughed.

  Zoe jabbed my chest. ‘Ninjas. Don’t. Forget.’

  ‘Sure they do!’ I said. ‘You’re thinking of elephants. And, like, people with grudges. And also the people you owe money.’

  I could tell that Zoe was serious. She was pretty stressed, and after everything that she had been through, I felt bad for giving her a hard time. She had enough to worry about, and I didn’t need to add to her list.

  In fact, I was probably going to leave her alone for most of the week. When Zoe’s got a lot on her plate, it’s best to steer clear of her until she came looking for you.

  Zoe slapped my book bag. ‘Alright, then. Good talk,’ she said. ‘See ya in a few minutes.’ And then her voice turned all dark. ‘Don’t forget!’

  ‘Oh my god, I won’t!’ I said.

  Faith pointed at me with her finger, and wheezed, ‘Don’t forget, Chase Cooooooper.’

  ‘It sounds like you’re telling me not to forget about Chase Cooper,’ I joked.

  Faith’s eyes darted back and forth. She ignored my comment, and wheezed again. ‘Coooooooper…’

  After that, Zoe and Faith disappeared into the sea of students rushing to homeroom.

  Glancing at the clock above the cafeteria doors, I saw that I didn’t have time to get to my locker before school started. No biggie. I could hit it later.

  I turned on the ball of my foot and made my way through the crowd of students gathered in the lobby, admiring the super-buff President Buchanan.

  Brayden was on the edge of the crowd, waiting for me with Slug and Gidget. Those three kids were the only ones in my ninja clan now, and I wouldn’t have it any other way.

  ‘Yo,’ Brayden said, tilting his head. Brayden was one of my best friends. I knew he had my back no matter what. Like, if aliens ever invaded the planet, Brayden and I would roam the country as a team, trying to take it back from them.

  Gidget had her phone pointed at the statue. She snapped a photo and started tapping on her phone.

  Slug was standing with his hands stuffed into his pockets and his elbows locked. His head was tilted back, and his eyes were shut. I couldn’t tell if he was sleeping or just giving his eyes a break.

  ‘What’s the plan for today, boss?’ Gidget asked without looking up from her phone.

  ‘No plan,’ I said. ‘I’m thinking about laying low this week. This month has been the worst. It’ll be nice to take a break, y’know?’

  Slug raised his eyebrows. I guess he wasn’t sleeping. ‘Welllllll,’ he said. ‘It’s only Monday. There’s plenty of time for things to go south.’

  ‘Ever the pessimist,’ Gidget said.

  ‘Am not!’ Slug said defensively. ‘Unless that’s a good thing? What’s it mean?’

  Gidget rolled her eyes. ‘It means you always think the worst is going to happen.’

  ‘Nuh-uh!’ Slug said, and then paused. ‘You’re talking about that meteor that’s supposed to pass by the Earth at the end of the year? If it’s pessimist for me to buy a bunch of canned goods and bottled water because a giant space boulder might destroy mankind, then alright, maybe I’m being pessimist!’

  ‘Pessimistic,’ Gidget said, correcting her brother. ‘You’re not even saying the word right.’

  ‘That’s because I just learned it!’ Slug said. ‘Anyway, I’m the opposite of a pessimist because I think dying when a meteor hits is probably the best thing – survivors will be dealing with mutants and zombies and, like, killer robots and other junk!’

  ‘Optimist,’ Gidget said. ‘The opposite of a pessimist is an optimist.’

  Slug groaned. ‘Stop schooling me before school, Gidget. Mum told you not to do that.’

  ‘Mum’s not here,’ Gidget replied.

  Slug made a funny face, raising his eyebrows and leaning his head over. ‘Then I’ll tell on you.’

  Finally, Brayden put an end to the whole thing. ‘Guys,’ he said, shocked. ‘Seriously, you two are acting like brother and sister!’

  Gidget and Slug both stared at Brayden, like, ‘Duh!’

  ‘Oh, right,’ Brayden said. ‘Twins.’

  ‘So this?’ I said, pointing at the statue. ‘This is pretty sweet, huh?’

  Gidget looked up. ‘Was President Buchanan a secret superhero?’

  ‘Only in my dreams,’ I joked.

  ‘You dream about him?’ Slug asked.

  ‘Yes!’ I said. ‘I mean, no. I mean, never mind. It’s a long story and I don’t wanna talk about it.’

  ‘Really?’ Gidget said. ‘Because that’s all I wanna talk about now.’

  I rolled my eyes. ‘It was one time, okay? Let’s move one.’

  ‘Whatever, man,’ Slug said. ‘Dude was buff, that’s for sure.’

  ‘Look at the neck,’ I said. ‘See that line?’

  Slug and Gidget both squinted at the statue.

  ‘You can tell the body was from somewhere else,’ I said. ‘They attached the head afterwards.’

  ‘Whoa,’ Slug said. ‘He’s like some kind of monster or something then … wait—’

  ‘Don’t say it,’ Gidget said, cutting him off. Slug was about to say something redonkulous, and she knew it.

  ‘What if this was how Buchanan really looked?’ Slug suggested. ‘What if all the other statues and paintings of him got it wrong? What if he was really some kind of super freaky monster that had a head transplant? I mean, of course it would’ve been after he was the president, but still!’

  Brayden stared at Slug. ‘So much awesome in that idea,’ he said.

&n
bsp; Yup, Brayden, the professional monster hunter, would totes agree with Slug on that.

  ‘I bet the president used his power to force a mad scientist to perform the operation,’ Brayden said. ‘He did it so he could live forever!’

  ‘Oh!’ Slug said, struck with an idea. ‘And that bear is the mad scientist! Like, after Buchanan got his jacked body, the scientist put his own brain into the bear’s head!’

  ‘The scientist … put his own brain into the bear’s head?’ I asked. ‘Like, the scientist performed that operation … on himself?’

  ‘Duh,’ Slug said. ‘Anyone who could successfully transplant a human head could easily put their own brain into something else.’

  Gidget burst out laughing. ‘Can you guys hear yourselves right now? Are you for real?’

  Brayden and Slug ignored her.

  ‘And they fought crime after midnight!’ Brayden said.

  ‘Of course they did,’ Slug said. ‘What else would they do?’

  Gidget shook her head. I’m not sure why she was surprised at what Brayden and Slug were saying. I definitely wasn’t.

  ‘Heads up,’ Brayden said as his face turned serious. ‘Trouble at two o’clock.’

  ‘Two o’clock?’ Slug questioned. ‘What happens at two?’

  ‘No, dude,’ Brayden sighed. ‘Two o’clock, like the direction.’

  ‘Huh?’ Slug said, spinning in a circle.

  Gidget groaned, slipped her phone back into her front pocket, and grabbed her brother’s shoulders, pointing him in the right direction.

  On the other side of the statue was Naomi, and she was heading our way. My ninja clan knew all about what happened between Naomi and me. I think even Faith knew, but Zoe was clueless. She had no idea what was going on with Naomi or the Scavengers, and I hoped to keep it that way. The less she knew, the better, I thought.

  Last week, Naomi told me that the leader of the Scavengers had it out for me. The Scavengers are a group of kids that collect every tidbit of information on every kid, and use it to control the school. They’ve got all the dirt on everyone. You know that note from your BFF that you tossed in the bin during homeroom? The Scavengers picked it up. And the conversation about the girl you have a crush on? A Scavenger overheard it. And how about the break-up note you got? Yup … it doesn’t matter how much you tore it up, the Scavengers taped it back together.