Keep From Falling (Markson Grove Series Book 1)

by Amy Vanessa Miller

  “We-ell,” I say, tugging on Bree’s hand and starting down the hallway. “We’re going to watch a movie in my room.”

  “I bet,” Ellie scoffs and I see from the corner of my eye that my mom nudges her in the shoulder. They both giggle.

  Kill me now.

  “Be good,” my mom calls out after us, laughter in her voice. I shake my head, keeping quiet and picking up the pace. “Oh,” she calls out just as we are about to enter my room. “You have mail. I left it on your bed.”

  “Ok,” I say dismissively, just wanting her to stop talking.

  Once we are inside my room I shut the door and lock it. “We should have come in the friggin’ window,” I say, not being able to hide how mortified that whole introduction has made me. “I’m really sorry about that.”

  Bree laughs. I love the sound of it. “It’s fine,” she says. “I don’t have an awesome mom like that or any siblings so it was a taste of something new for me. How old is your mom anyway? She looks really young.”

  And the inevitable question.

  “She’s thirty-three,” I say. “She had me when she was fifteen.” I don’t like having to tell people that bit of information for the first time because so many people are quick to judge my mom for it. The ‘irresponsible teenaged mom’. Not that I think Bree will judge her, but I can’t help the way the topic makes me feel.

  Her eyes grow wide with surprise. “Seriously?”

  I nod. “Yeah, she was eighteen when she had Ellie and then a year later our dad decided family life with my mom wasn’t for him anymore so he fucked off. It’s been just the three of us ever since.”

  She looks at me with the same look everyone else does when I tell them the story. Pity. “Evan…I had no idea. I’m so sorry.”

  I shrug, “It was a long time ago,” I say, taking a seat on the bed and pulling her to me, attempting to both lighten the mood and change the subject.

  She laughs, allowing herself to tumble on top of me. She sits her knees on either side of my body, straddling my hips, and as I look up at her beautifully flushed face gazing down at me I think she might want to do something more than just make out tonight. My heart feels like it jumps into my throat as I consider that as a possibility.

  I bring my hand to her face and she seductively licks my fingers one after another. This is actually happening!

  Oh my God.

  But she’s a virgin or at least she is with guys, and a virgin is something I’ve never experienced before. Adrienne was far from that when I lost mine to her, and she’s all I’ve ever been with. What do I do to make sure Bree’s comfortable? What if I hurt her?

  I can’t do this. There’s no way I’m ready for this type of responsibility!

  I sit up and gently move Bree over to sit beside me. “I’m just going to take a look at this mail my mom left on the bed,” I say as casually as possible, reaching for the thick envelope sitting beside us.

  She looks me over with mild confusion but brushes it away quickly, plastering on a soft smile instead. “Is it from a college?” she asks.

  I nod.

  The letter is from Hudson University, which is my first and only pick due to the fact that it’s only six hours away and a fast flight back to my mom and sister if they need me. I wasn’t even planning on applying at all, but my mom insisted that I stop worrying about her and Ellie and just do it. So I eventually gave in and applied.

  I turn the envelope over and see that it’s already been ripped open. Ellie and Mom just couldn’t wait till I got home. I smirk, I’ll have to yell at them about that later.

  I pull out the contents of the envelope and quickly read over the front letter. The minute I see the words ‘very pleased’, ‘academic scholarship’, and ‘welcome to the fall session’ I smile.

  “I got in,” I say with a goofy grin. I had a feeling it was an acceptance letter because of how thick the envelope was, but it doesn’t feel real till you see those words. Now it’s real. I’m going to Hudson on a full academic scholarship!

  It must have taken my mom medication not to blurt this info out to me as soon as I walked in the door. Of course, me walking in with Bree probably threw her for a loop, considering it has been quite a while since I’ve brought a girl home.

  I wrap my arms around Bree in an excited hug. “A full scholarship,” I say to her with a laugh.

  Bree hugs me back and then reaches across the bed to turn the envelope over. “Hudson,” she says. “Congratulations.” She kisses me softly on the cheek and I can sense there’s something that she isn’t telling me. Something’s bothering her.

  And then it dawns on me. We are a new couple and we will both be going our separate ways in the fall. We haven’t talked about this yet, about what we will be doing at the end of the summer. Will we be breaking up or will we attempt a long distance relationship? This is a bad time for that discussion, though. Tonight is already a mess; we don’t need to add more to it. I shouldn’t have opened the letter while she was here.

  “I’m sorry, we’ve never even had the school talk yet. I should have waited to this,” I say, feeling terrible.

  “Oh my God, Evan no,” she says shaking her head, “you’re happy, you should be happy! This is the school you wanted and you got in.”

  “Did you get accepted to the school you wanted?” I ask, still feeling uncomfortable about the topic.

  “I got an early acceptance in December, actually. I’m already enrolled and everything,” she tells me and then looks like she’s about to add something else but hesitates.

  “What?” I ask.

  “Nothing. I was just waiting for Skylar’s acceptance, but I guess that doesn’t matter anymore.”

  “Oh,” I say and then after a moment I go on. “What school?” I ask if for nothing more than to bring her away from thoughts of Skylar. But, to be honest, thoughts of us being apart come the fall is pretty depressing too. Especially if Skylar will be there with her and I can’t be. I don’t really like the idea of that at all.

  She shoots me a weak smile. “Hudson,” she says and then waits for my reaction.

  “Hudson? My Hudson?” I laugh. “Are you serious?” I ask, not being able to contain my excitement.

  “Going for my bachelor of science,” she says with a chuckle, apparently just as blown away by this as I am.

  I shake my head. “This is like fate, right? I mean, this has to mean something.”

  She throws her head back and laughs loudly. Her cheeks grow rosy, and her beautiful head of curls bounce with each gasp of breath. “I’m going to pretend you didn’t get all girly on me there.”

  I laugh. I guess I had that one coming. “Will you be staying in residence or off campus?” I ask.

  “Residence.”

  “Wow. This is crazy. And awesome!”

  “It really is,” she says, leaning in and kissing me softly on the lips. Her tongue pushes its way into my mouth and within an instant, my body—most notably my crotch—reacts. I’m suddenly right back to the problem at hand. She makes me want to do so many dirty things to her in so many dirty positions. I need to take a step back to collect myself.

  “So, what do you feel like watching?” I ask, pulling away from the kiss and reaching for the remote control on the nightstand. I need to change the subject and I need to change it fast.

  “Whatever you’re in the mood for,” she says, sliding her hand up under my shirt and running her finger over one of my nipples. My stomach does flip-flops. Could she want sex tonight? Should I just come out and ask, or does that make me a total jerk?

  I flick on the TV and choose a random channel before turning back to face her. “Are we planning something… um, special tonight?” I ask. I take in a tiny breath and hold it as I anticipate her response. I really hope I’m not reading her wrong. I don’t want to offend her by implying that having her in my room automatically means I expect to have sex with her because that couldn’t be further from the truth.

  She lays her head on my should
er and takes my hand into hers. “Do you want us to do something special tonight?” she asks, glancing up at me and smirking. She bites down on her lip the way she knows I can’t resist.

  Oh my God.

  “I do,” I say, my voice cracking slightly. So embarrassing. I quickly go on. “But only if you want to.”

  She nods. “I think I want to.”

  “Ok,” I reply almost breathlessly. I lick my lips and then lean into hers for a kiss. But knowing what this kiss is leading to makes it completely petrifying. I know that I need to be a gentleman. I need to be soft, and kind, and it needs to be special. I’m so scared that I won’t know how to do all of those things. Adrienne never needed or wanted any of those things from me.

  I pull my t-shirt up over my head, and then gently lower her down onto my bed. I position myself next to her and pull her to me, pressing her body close to my bare chest. I reach for her shirt and begin to unbutton it, but I catch myself hesitating, so I pull my hands away. Why am I being such a wuss about this? What’s my problem? It’s not like I haven’t done this before. I have plenty of times.

  Noticing my hesitation and worry, she reaches for my hands and brings them back to the buttons of her shirt. “I want this,” she says assuredly, looking deep into my eyes. She knows I’m nervous… she is too. But she wants this.

  I nod and then completely unbutton her shirt, sliding it away from her body as we continue to stare into each other’s eyes, and listen to each other’s steady and unwavering breaths.

  “I want this too,” I say.

  She kisses me hard on the lips, pushing her body so close to mine that I let out a low moan. I feel her wanting me so intensely right now and it’s… completely perfect.

  I think I might be falling in love with this girl.

  Skylar

  When I walk through the doors of The Misfit Mansion with Spencer by my side, I feel a sudden sense of calm rush over me. I had forgotten how much this place played a critical role in my sanity in the beginning years of high school. The calmness I’m feeling is amazing and I can’t be sure if it’s because I just needed time away from reality, or if my mind associates this place with memories of Parker and those memories give me a sense of tranquility.

  When I became a Misfit, three years ago, I felt untouchable. This place gave me power and safety from the harsh light of the outside world. I used to come here so I wouldn’t have to hide anything about myself. I used to come here to cut and to fuck. I used to come here to feel loved. When you are a Misfit, you can do anything your heart desires without judgment. That’s the whole point.

  At my first Misfit party, I was introduced to ecstasy. I don’t know why I even took it. I was petrified that it would kill me. Meth had killed my brother when he was fourteen, and I had no way of knowing that MDMA wouldn’t do the same to me. But now, as I am entering back into this world of drugs and debauchery for the first time in over a year, I’m completely sober. I’m not under the influence of ecstasy or any type of alcohol. Though, to be honest, with everything that’s happened tonight, I really wish that I were. I don’t have any pot on me either, but the important thing is that I don’t plan on selling myself sexually for any of those things. I’m re-entering my past as a different Skylar Hale. I’m not The Goddess anymore, and I’m ok with that.

  I’m also not ‘Bree’s Skylar’ anymore either, and she was the reason I stayed away from all of this for so long. Or maybe I was avoiding Parker; maybe that’s what kept me away. It’s hard to be sure. I’ve lied to myself so much about him and what happened between the two of us that I can’t even be sure why I left this life behind anymore.

  I look over at Spencer. His face is serious and I realize that this can’t be easy for him either. Keeping our Misfit personas separate from our lives outside of the mansion has always been very important to the both of us. Tonight will mark a change in our friendship forever, and it would be a lie to say that we aren’t both worried about the outcome.

  Spencer takes my hand and leads me down the stairs to the basement where I can hear a fight already in progress.

  As soon as we reach the bottom of the stairs, I spot a bar in the billiard room to my left, which is relatively empty right now due to the fact that almost everyone seems to be on the other side of the basement watching the fights. I decide that getting a drink to help numb the pain in my heart couldn’t hurt before I join Spencer for the fights. I mean, getting my mind off of everything that’s happened tonight is kind of the ultimate goal, isn’t it?

  “I’m going to get a drink,” I yell to him over the roar of the crowd. I point to the bar in the billiard room and he nods before letting go of my hand.

  When I reach the bar, I take a seat on the stool and look at the menu overhead. One-ounce shots are all three dollars each. That’ll do, I decide, digging out a twenty-dollar bill from a zipper pocket hidden in my skirt.

  “Tequila please,” I say to the bartender, handing him the bill.

  “All six?” he asks, looking at the twenty.

  “Ok,” I say with a shrug. I wasn’t really planning on having so many shots, but really, what’s stopping me? It’s been a pretty shitty week I’d say, I think I deserve to let loose a little bit.

  He lines up six shot glasses in front of me and fills them one after another. I smile and thank him.

  “You’re The Goddess right?” he asks, looking me up and down. Naturally someone would recognize me. I wonder if he’s someone I might have been with before.

  “Yeah, I used to be,” I say, taking a shot and slamming the glass back down. I grimace at the taste but reach for the second glass and shoot that one just as quickly.

  He raises his eyebrow. “So where’ve you been?”

  I shoot a third shot and slam the glass on the counter. “In love,” I reply bitterly, but he doesn’t seem to take notice of the tone of my voice.

  He nods knowingly. “With The Phoenix.”

  I look up at him, completely bewildered. “Who?”

  “The Phoenix,” he repeats, motioning toward the large room across the hall where the fights are happening. “He’s up next.”

  I’m still confused. What is this guy talking about? I reach for my fourth shot and down it. “I have no clue what you mean,” I say, already beginning to feel my tongue go numb. This is going to be an amazing buzz.

  He smiles curiously at me but doesn’t reply right away. He seems to be deciding if I’m being serious or not. But my genuine confusion must convince him that I have no idea what he’s talking about because he points toward the fights. “Your boy fights,” he says. “He’s fighting tonight.”

  My eyes grow wide. “What?”

  “I thought you were getting a drink,” Spencer says, breaking into my utter shock.

  I turn around to face him. “Parker fights?” I ask, my eyes still wide in astonishment.

  Spencer eyes my four empty glasses and the last two still remaining on the bar. “Six is a bit much don’t you think?”

  I laugh and reach for my fifth shot, “Six is exactly enough,” I say, downing it. I slam the empty glass on the bar next to the rest and reach for my sixth but before I get a chance to grab it, Spencer snatches it up and gulps it down.

  “Spenc!” I exclaim. “I paid for that.”

  “I’ll pay you back,” he assures me, taking my hand and pulling me away from the bar.

  “The bartender told me that Parker fights,” I say to him as he’s leading me toward the match that, judging by the sound of the exploding cheers, has just ended.

  “He’s up next.”

  “You brought me here to watch him fight? What the fuck, I don’t want to see that!”

  Why would he do this? Does he want me to see Parker get hurt? Or maybe he wants me to see how aggressive Parker can be when cornered? If that’s the case, Spencer has absolutely no idea how much I already know that about Parker.

  He shakes his head. “I didn’t know he’d be fighting tonight. He wasn’t supposed to be. He took the
fight last minute.”

  “Oh… well, last minute…that can’t be safe, right? I mean, how prepared can he be when he takes on a fight at the last minute?” I ask, outwardly more concerned than I really should be letting on, but I can’t help it. I don’t want to see Parker get beat up. I’ve seen it once before, and I never want to see it again.

  Spencer shoots me a sly smile. “Trust me, he’s always prepared.”

  If he only knew.

  Spencer continues to lead me through the crowds of people, holding onto my hand tightly so that we don’t lose each other. After a few shoves from side to side and some elbows in the ribs, we finally reach the opening of the man-made circle where Mark’s sister is waiting for us.

  The atmosphere is crazy. All I see are people thrusting their money at the three bookies located on the outskirts of the circle. I can’t believe the amount of people that are here to bet on fights! This is ridiculous!

  “The fights were never this huge last year!” I scream at them over the roar of people.

  He nods and leans into my ear. “Parker didn’t fight last year.”

  I shake my head in disbelief. They are all here for Parker. Their Phoenix. Wow. All the times I’ve seen his face messed up and his knuckles bloody and swollen lately, I never imagined that this was the reason why.

  I notice that the tequila is now beginning to enter my blood stream with a vengeance because the numbness I’d been looking forward to has now taken its full effect. I lean into Spencer’s body and he casually drapes his arm over my shoulder. I can’t believe I’m already feeling this drunk. That’s tequila for you, I should have known better.

  “Shots hitting you hard, babygirl?” Spencer whispers into my ear, and I manage a small nod before closing my eyes.

  After a moment, I reopen my eyes and look at the crowd of people curiously. I wonder if I can spot Parker somewhere among them. I can’t see him, but I do recognize Evan’s friend from The Loft the other night across the circle from me. He notices me noticing him and gives me a polite nod. He looks either worried or anxious about something, but I can’t be sure. A few feet away from Evan’s friend, I see Tris Gallagher handing over a wad of cash to one of the bookies. The bookie pockets the cash, writes something down on a piece of paper, and hands the paper to Tris.