Catalyst

by Lydia Kang

  Penelope concentrates hard, trying to understand my words.

  “Oh. So you’ll stay here forever with us, right?”

  Blink and Tennie immediately drop their eyes to me, waiting for the answer. I go hot in the face, wishing the transport wasn’t so small.

  “Well, I don’t know. Maybe. Sort of.”

  “Stay, stay, stayyyyyyyyyyy!” she sings, clutching my hands and bouncing with a vigor I’m not sure I ever possessed.

  I’m saved by the doors opening up on my level. Penelope finally lets go of my hand and when she does, it feels far emptier than before she’d touched me.

  • • •

  MY BRACELET INSTRUCTS ME WHERE TO GO. It takes me to a boring, navy-blue hallway flanked by closed doors. There it is, room six. I walk in, expecting something interesting from the holo program. Maybe a lunar landscape? Or a bustling Paris city street?

  That last thing I expect to see is Cy.

  “Cy!” I gasp with surprise. Behind a table set with sandwiches for lunch, he spins around, crossing his arms in front of his chest. Like he’s disappointed.

  “What are you doing here?” he asks, quickly turning away and rolling down his sleeves.

  “I should ask the same.” I’m crestfallen at his reaction. But when he turns back around, he comes straight to my side.

  “How was your morning?” he asks with a tenderness that makes my heart skip. It’s a 180-degree turn from his frosty greeting, but I don’t care.

  “Good. I was with Élodie and Tennie watching the little kids.” I bite my lip and decide to just spit it out. “She told me you had an awful time in Aureus. About what Micah and Tegg did to you.” When Cy stays silent, I reach for his hand and he doesn’t resist. “I wish you’d told me, though.”

  “I didn’t want to worry you,” he whispers.

  “That’s what girlfriends are supposed to do. They worry.” And then with a horrible thought, I blurt, “If I’m still your girlfriend, that is. Because I totally get it if, you don’t, you know . . . I would understand.” I sound like an idiot. Cy pulls me closer and wraps his arms around my waist.

  “You are so adorable when you’re flustered.”

  “Sorry, it’s just . . . a year is a long time. I don’t know where I stand with you,” I mumble, staring at his chest.

  “You’re standing in my arms, Zel,” he whispers. “That’s the only place you should ever be.”

  He crushes me into an embrace and for a full minute, there’s nothing else in the world. No Avida, no Inky, no memories of Aureus. He finally loosens his hug.

  “So what did you do this morning?” I ask, leaning my cheek against his chest.

  “I was in the infirmary. I saw that little girl Victoria. The mini-Hex girl? She looked awful. Headaches, nausea . . . I started to examine her, when Renata whisked her away. It was weird.”

  “This whole place reeks of weird.”

  “I’m sorry about that,” a voice intones from the door.

  We bounce apart like repelling magnets. Julian stands in the doorway clothed in a simple outfit of head-to-toe khaki. They’re like military pajamas.

  “It’s fine. Everything’s fine,” I say with stiff formality.

  “You know I’m Sean, right?” He takes a step closer. Now I notice that his posture is droopy, his pupils are pinpoints and his eyes are full blue. “Hello, Cy. Julian’s taking Zelia out tomorrow and he’s been working nonstop preparing for it. He’s sleeping very deeply now. I had to find you before he wakes up. But first, eat.”

  We sit down and Cy and I wolf down our lunches. Sean doesn’t, just twiddles with his napkin. His nervousness puts me at ease.

  “I have a proposal for you both. I need your help,” he finally says. “I need to find a way to keep Julian under control.”

  Cy narrows his eyes. “You’re the one in that body, not us. Can’t you talk to him?”

  “Julian has always been the dominant soul. He pushes me aside at his whim. As a result, his decisions dominate Avida.”

  I frown. “I’m sorry. That sounds awful. But that’s not really our problem.”

  “It is if you wish to escape Avida. And Inky.”

  Cy and I immediately exchange surprised glances. Sean leans in closer and desperation transforms his face. “I set the programs for where you go within Avida, but Julian keeps the passkey that would get you out of Avida itself. But if there’s a way to incapacitate him, maybe I could get it.”

  It’s hard to shove the YES PLEASE GET ME OUT OF HERE! expression off my face, but I do my best. “So what are you suggesting?” I ask as calmly as possible.

  “Our consciousness and memories are irrevocably intertwined with each other’s. But maybe there’s a way to make his side let go of the information he keeps. Or at least, fall asleep for more predictable periods of time. This is why I asked you both here. Cy, I need your neuroscience expertise. Your work on neural growth factors while you were in Aureus was wonderful.”

  Cy’s face darkens. I know he started that research to try to fix Ana somehow, after she’d been hurt in Aureus, but it hadn’t worked.

  “And Zelia, I need you too.”

  “To work in the lab?” It’s hard not to get too excited. Cy and me in a lab together would make Avida downright cozy.

  “No. To keep Julian occupied.”

  “Are you kidding me?”

  “Unfortunately, I’m not. And anyway, Julian wants to show you off. He covets your trait like I’ve never seen before.”

  Cy looks at me and we try to read each other’s minds, but I shake my head, just the tiniest bit. The whole thing doesn’t feel right. It’s too risky.

  I stand up and Cy stands up with me. “No. I don’t think this is a good idea,” he starts, before Sean puts his hands out.

  “I need to show you one thing, before you decide.”

  “What?”

  Sean pulls up his holo bracelet and touches several key lock codes. “Level Sub-One. You have twenty minutes.”

  CHAPTER 17

  WE DON’T WAIT TO BE ASKED AGAIN. Cy and I immediately race to the transport and our bracelets grant us access to a floor we didn’t know existed. Sub-One.

  “Maybe this is below the grotto,” I say. We feel the transport going diagonally, zipping left, then plunging down. My shoulder bumps into Cy, and he swings his arm around me. I wish there were more zigzags on this trip.

  “Grotto? Sounds sort of romantic,” he comments. When I give him a sideways look, he actually goes red in the face and clears his throat. “What is it? An Italian garden or something?”

  I explain quickly about the water cave and Tennie. “There’s so much going on here, Cy. Somehow, we’ve got to find time to compare notes on this place.”

  “I know.” He reaches for my hand and runs his finger across my palm. My spine turns into a wet noodle and I grab for his hand. But I only grasp air.

  “What the—” My hand is empty, and Cy’s hands are still by his side. “You touched me! Like you did when we were in the Deadlands!”

  Cy curses and crosses his arms, stuffing his hands into his armpits. “I didn’t mean to. I shouldn’t have done that.”

  “But why—”

  The doors slide open and what we see douses our conversation in a millisecond. It’s a small infirmary, with rows of hover beds and a medical bot scurrying from bedside to bedside. Vital signs spill across a holo board above three occupied beds.

  I recognize Renata hovering over one of the children—Victoria, the four-armed girl. Renata is stroking Victoria’s bruised arm, and the movement elicits a deep ache within me. Marka would do the same thing to me, when I was awake at night.

  “What’s going on here?” Cy says.

  Renata whirls around. Her eyes are bloodshot and her face is puffy. “Who let you in here?”

  “Sean did,
” Cy says.

  “Why?” She stands up with a face painted in defiance. Strength. It’s an expression I’ve ever only recognized in Marka. The one that says she would stand against an army to protect what she loved best.

  “I think Sean wants us to help,” I explain.

  “Does Julian know you’re here?” she asks warily.

  “No. We can’t let him find out either. We only have a few minutes.” The room is a stew of different scents I don’t recognize. Bitter, salty mixes, and even floral. If only Marka were her to teach me her abilities to smell diseases. “Why are they sick?”

  Renata’s lip trembles. “I don’t know. I keep asking Julian to import medicines to help, but he won’t.” Cy and I exchange looks. “Sean keeps begging him to relent, but he hasn’t budged.”

  “Why?” Cy asks as he starts scrolling through the lab tests on Victoria’s holo.

  “He’s afraid that if the officials in Inky find out they’re sick, they’ll shut us down. Maybe kill us. He doesn’t want them to think we have diseases. Julian’s afraid the illnesses are caused by their traits. That somehow Dr. Benten . . .” Here she stares at me, venom in her eyes. “That your father programmed my children to die.”

  “No,” I say. “He wouldn’t do that!”

  “How do you know?” she retorts, which silences me at first.

  “How do you know he wasn’t preventing these illnesses when he was alive? My dad was killed because he tried to hide children from SunAj and people like Julian, who were doing the same thing—using kids as products.”

  “Julian is trying to shelter more traited children. He wants to protect them.”

  “Because he wants more money, to keep Avida safe.”

  Renata’s angry face settles into stony resignation. “Perhaps.”

  “Tell us what you know,” Cy says. “I’m medically trained, and so is Zel. We’ll try to help.” Renata stares uncertainly between us before glancing at Victoria, who’s counting her bruises now. She sighs in resignation.

  “Victoria is five. She only started growing ill a week ago. She gets headaches and her bone marrow’s been failing. Anemia, low white cells, everything.” She leans over to give Victoria a kiss on the cheek and four tiny arms reach out and hug Renata.

  “I’m better today,” Victoria tells her. The bruises speckle her arms like purple roses, as if some silent, invisible thing has been relentlessly pummeling her. She struggles to sit up and points to a toddler girl, whose head is half bald. Clumps of blond hair litter her pillow and her skin is sallow. “That’s Bianca. She can kolo—lokoko—”

  “Echolocate,” Renata corrects her. “You see what’s happened to her hair. She can’t keep food down—terrible nausea. Anemia too. Some of it’s similar to what Victoria has, but some symptoms are different.”

  “And who’s this?” Cy stands by the bed of an older boy, maybe eleven. Cy’s face spreads with a gorgeous smile as his and the boy’s eyes meet, and my heart liquefies like oozing butter. I miss those rare smiles so much.

  “I’m Andy,” he says in a whisper. He’s wearing huge round suction-cup-like things around his ears. His eyes are yellow from jaundice, and his mouth is covered in sores.

  “What are those for?” I try to smile as I point to his ear cups.

  “Oh. I have hyperacute hearing. Without these, a whisper sounds like a scream.”

  “Wow, cool.” I grin at him, and he grins, though the action appears to hurt him. I try not to flinch when I notice his gums are oozing blood.

  “Can I run some tests on them?” Cy asks, turning to Renata.

  “You can try, but Julian hasn’t let me order the testing equipment I want. He’s so paranoid we’ll be discovered. We have an old CompuDoc program running, but it’s very basic.”

  Cy spends a few minutes at each bedside, poring over the labs and carefully examining each kid. Renata is smoothing strands of hair from Victoria’s face. I wonder if she loves her children more because they came from her body. I wonder about my mother in Wingfield. Did Dad keep her away from me on purpose, maybe so he could have total control over my life and Dyl’s? Did she want to be in my life and have no choice?

  Renata catches me watching her, and I look away. “What is it?” she asks.

  “I’m sorry. I was just thinking.” Maybe Renata knows about my mother; maybe she doesn’t. But I’ve nothing to lose, since I had nothing to begin with. “My father told me once that my mother left us and died when we were young. And now, I think she’s alive somewhere. Maybe with the people who took down Aureus.”

  “You came from Carus House, didn’t you?”

  “Yes.”

  “I thought there was a woman there in charge of the children . . .”

  “Marka.” I can’t help but smile when I say her name.

  “Yes, that’s the name. Did you ask her?”

  “No.”

  “Well, maybe you’ll find the answers you’re looking for. Maybe not. Maybe it will change you; maybe it won’t.”

  Her answer is so noncommittal, I shake my head. It was stupid to bring it up with a stranger. But then Renata goes on. “You like science, don’t you? It’s kind of like cooking. When you add another ingredient to the mix, it changes the nature of the whole dish. Let me give you a word of advice, Zelia. You’re not a casserole, or a beaker of chemicals. You can decide how things will affect you, if you have the strength for it.”

  Cy interrupts us. “We should go soon. I wrote down some treatments that hopefully Avida has. Not cures, but they might make them feel better at least.”

  “Thank you, Cyrad,” Renata says with gratitude.

  “We’ll have to convince Sean to get us access to these rooms again,” I say. I don’t mention that I’d actually like to talk to Renata again. She’s not Marka, but there’s an earthy wisdom in her words that reminds me of her. I miss it.

  “We’ll be back,” Cy assures Renata. She walks us to the transport door, turns to me and grimaces. Not really at me, but at the idea of me. “So Julian has his pretty little icon now. Now that you’re here, I’ll be in the outgoing garbage. You’re the poster child for all these traited children now.”

  I gather my breath to argue, but all I can manage to say is, “I am not an icon.” I wave my bracelet on the scanner and the transport doors open.

  We step in and Renata says, “I have no power here in Avida. I’m as good as dead. And your father’s no longer here to help us. So what are you going to do, Zelia?”

  The doors thankfully shut before I can answer. Which is good, because I have no idea what to say.

  • • •

  AT DINNER THAT NIGHT, I TRY NOT to think of Renata’s questions. She’s not my responsibility, and neither is Avida, but when the small kids arrive in taffeta dresses and seersucker suits, I anxiously count them, hoping that no more have been relegated to the infirmary.

  Cy sees me arrive and makes sure I sit beside him. He’s so handsome in his slim black suit. I’m dressed in the bot’s latest pick, translucent gown with sparkling gold embroidery that doesn’t conceal my gray satin underwear. Cy leans over during our soup course.

  “You look really pretty.”

  “I feel like all I’m wearing is my underwear,” I whisper back.

  “Works for me.”

  I try to conceal my goofy grin before slurping up more soup. Élodie is at the opposite end of the table, trying to teach her mini-Blink, Jensen, some words in French.

  “You never told me that you could speak French,” I say, nudging Cy.

  “My mother was French Canadian, like Élodie.”

  “You never told me about your parents either.” I realize that my statements all sound like accusations. I erase the pout from my mouth.

  “We ran out of time,” he whispers back. “But you’ve got more than a lifetime to make up for it, don’t you?”
Cy reaches under the table and squeezes my wrist. I flip my arm, and his fingers find my pulse. It’s an automatic gesture for him given his medical skills, but it’s far more intimate than a doctor’s sterile touch. It’s like he’s letting my heart lean on him, by proxy. “We have a lot of catching up to do. And I intend to take back every minute I lost.”

  “Will this be before or after we incapacitate Julian?” I whisper.

  “Shh.”

  Julian stands up at the front of the table, while Renata sits like a lump next to him. “As you know, several of us shall be traveling to the capital tomorrow. For those accompanying me, you must memorize the names and backgrounds of the senators in attendance. Sanctioned speaking points are listed, as well as taboo topics you will not discuss under any circumstances. Your grooming bots will start working on you at five a.m. Curfew is early tonight so you get enough sleep.” He leans forward on the table and frowns deeply. “I can medicate you into good behavior, but what I’d prefer is authenticity. So please. Be good.” He turns his holo on and flicks to a red screen. “The following will be accompanying me. Caliga Jakobsen. Micah Kw.”

  I turn to see Caliga slouch into her satellite table chair, and Micah, seated next to Renata, sags imperceptibly.

  “Liu Xiulan.”

  Everyone turns to Xiulan. She pouts and her peach skin pulsates into a shade of azure.

  “Zelia Benten. Cyrad William.” Cy and I glance at each other, and his fingers on my pulse detect my heart fluttering with nervousness.

  Renata watches Julian expectantly, but when he shuts off his holo and sits down, she catches my eye. Her head tilts as if to say, “See Zelia? I told you. Out with the old, in with the new.”

  Dinner resumes and eventually Cy releases my wrist so we can eat the carrot soufflé and lobster bisque.

  “So I’ve been thinking,” Cy whispers. “We’ll need to get a functional scan of Sean and Julian’s brain, to see how we can, uh . . .” He lowers his voice to the lowest decibel possible. “You know. Put him out.”

  “I know,” I whisper back. “But how will we target his neurons? They’re bioidentical.”