“Wanna bet? I have given you over fifty blow jobs in the past couple of weeks.” Syd shrugged her shoulders when he glared at her with surprised eyes. “I stopped counting after fifty, Kaz. I want that big, juicy cock inside me, not my mouth so forgive me if I am feeling a bit pissed at myself for still acting like a spoiled fucking rich girl. I do desire you and we are going upstairs to fuck in about a half an hour but let’s have some famous Bavarian lager before we go.”
Kaz smiled and wondered how women did it sometimes. Over fifty fucking blow jobs? She had to be mistaken but then he thought about his insatiable sexual appetite and how every three blow jobs would have equaled them having sex. He wanted to fuck her as much as she wanted him.
He signaled the waiter who came over in a flash and ordered two Augustiner Helles. The waiter smiled at Syd before he nodded his head and walked off.
“You’ll like this particular lager because it’s one of my favorites. I try not to drink too much beer because I like having a six-pack. But these will help you relax.”
“That and this,” Syd responded as she pushed a twenty milligram of OxyContin tablet in his direction. “It’ll relax us completely and you can fuck me senseless. The concert isn’t until tomorrow night. You do have the stamina, don’t you?”
“I won’t with fucking Oxy. We’ll have to visit Jaden’s suite before we go to our own and get some blow to even out the high. That is the only way I will be able to keep up with a horny hell cat like you.”
Syd couldn’t help but laugh out loud before she noticed Jaden strolling their way.
“Mmm, looks like we have company. Could this be the night I have my threesome I have been dreaming about?”
Kaz turned toward his best friend and half-brother. “In your motherfuckin’ dreams. No way is that man fucking my woman. He’s been nailing almost every gorgeous woman with a goddamn pulse since Faith left and although I know he is being careful, he still isn’t going to get a whiff of your pussy let alone the chance to be inside you.”
“I heard that,” Jaden replied as he sat down in a spare chair and swigged from a one liter glass beer stein. “I love this place. Great fucking beer, great blow and an Oxy…I’m fuckin’ flyin’ man but in a good way. I don’t even miss Faith…well, not as much as I usually do.”
His amber eyes looked out into the distance and Kaz knew his brother was hurting but there wasn’t much he could do. They had gotten Faith into detox at the right time and despite it being a painful experience for her, Promises was the best place for her. They took great care of her and she was still pregnant with what the doctors had deemed to be a perfectly healthy infant. She’d hurt herself more than anyone else.
“Why do I think this has more to do with you not ready to be a father yet?” Syd wondered as the waiter brought their beers in the bottle along with two clean beer steins.
Kaz slipped him a twenty euro tip before he walked off.
Jaden swigged from his beer stein. “I’m ready to be a father but the question is whether she’s ready to be a mother. We all know Faith—”
“—yeah, we do and we know she’ll have a team of nannies. It isn’t like she can’t afford it. Stop worrying so much, Jaden. The baby is fine and she will be too,” Syd interrupted sweetly before she patted his right hand in a friendly gesture.
“Do we need to send your ass to Promises too when we get back?” Kaz questioned in an off-handed way before he swigged from his beer.
“I don’t know…I keep telling myself I can wean myself off but this tour has been particularly bad. I can’t do this again. Maybe we’re all just burnt out and need some rest and relaxation but I think it should be a couple of years before we think about touring again,” Jaden explained in a quiet voice.
“It’s my fault she’s there. She was bored and she wanted us to have fun together. I loved getting high together and fucking her afterwards. We both got off on it and it is what I miss most. The drugs aren’t even fun now that she isn’t here and I suppose that is when I realized I am in love with that crazy fuckin’ bitch. There isn’t anyone I want but her.”
Syd’s eyes filled with tears she immediately wiped away. “If it makes you feel the same way, she feels the same way about you. You’re not Talia and Seth—”
“Oh she stays with that fuckin’ bastard because of his jacked up childhood. It’s not her fault his old man used him as a fucking sex toy.” Jaden rubbed the stubble on his chin. “The guy has had a fucked up life and I get that but…at one point we have to pull ourselves up by our bootstraps and get on with life. No one’s life is perfect but fuckin’ hell…”
Kaz swigged from his beer again while Syd glanced from her lover to Jaden, her mouth gaped open in surprise. “My God. What kind of sick twist makes his own son do that to him?”
“Wasn’t his real Dad,” Jaden continued. “His mother fucked an old Basque lover she had who was part of ETA…you know—”
“—Euskadi Ta Askatasuna, which means Basque Homeland and Freedom. We visited the area when we were here during our gap year in Europe while we were teenagers.”
“Anyway, they were still sneaking around while she was dating the asshole the twins call their dad. He got himself blown up shortly after they were born and their mother married the American asshole. Anyway, he found out by accident, and Seth got it worse than his brother. It’s all so very tragic and Shakespearean but it doesn’t explain why he treats Talia like a fucking whore,” Jaden expressed in an impassioned voice.
“She killed his kid…when she was in college. She was only a sophomore and abortion was her only option. He’s never forgiven her for that.” Syd sipped from her lager. “He approached me when I was pregnant and he’s still very bitter about the whole experience. I don’t think anything she will do can ever make him forgive her. He thinks she did it because she wanted to be successful and the bigger she gets, the more it feeds into his deluded fantasies.”
Kaz nodded in agreement. “Yeah, I know. Her version of Ellie Goulding’s ‘Figure 8’ was powerful at the concert in Amsterdam. I don’t think there was not one person who couldn’t feel her pain or anguish.”
“Her songs are getting more maudlin. How’s her state of mind, Jaden?”
“Well, she hasn’t been asking me for Oxy though she shares the occasional joint with me so I would say she’s doing okay.”
Kaz looked up and as if she could sense she was being talked about, Talia approached us with her own one liter beer stein almost filled to the brim and took the last empty seat at our table.
“What I wouldn’t give to go for a walk, if only to clear my head,” she greeted before she sipped daintily from her lager.
“Uh-oh. What happened?” Syd leaned forward on the table.
“I just had to get away from Seth for a while. He’s driving me absolutely bonkers. Now I am sneaking behind his back and fucking this one over here—” she said as she pointed in Jaden’s direction with her thumb, “—because we’re spending too much time together. The man is paranoid as all get out and he’s scaring Kris, Linx and Niko. I mean, I understand why they are concerned but it’s not like we can do a damn thing until this fucking tour is over. We can’t cancel the rest of our bookings because Linx and Niko both have child support payments to make and each one of their greedy exes would sell them out to Fact or Fiction for a nice paycheck in a heartbeat.”
“Who ever said Winter’s Regret had to cancel?” Kaz inquired in voice that could freeze an Eskimo’s dick. “Tell that boyfriend of yours if he doesn’t chill the fuck out on the drugs then he will find himself without a band and in breach of a contract he signed with our attorneys’ and Introspect Records. Seth isn’t worth nearly enough and we will leave him broke, bleeding and runnin’ back to his ma and pa if he keeps this shit up. Enough is enough.”
“Okay,” Talia responded, dragging the word out. “If he’s fired then who will front Winter’s Regret?”
“Who do you think?” Jaden cut in. “You’ve got the pipes to l
ead your own band—hell, Winter’s Regret is your band since you’re runnin’ everything except you get no credit.”
“This is coming from the same man who said ‘bitches didn’t belong in hard rocking bands like Winter’s Regret and Scarlet Fever’. Why the change of heart?”
Jaden’s amber eyes softened and Kaz could tell Talia was digging her way underneath his skin. She just had that effect on men and that was the real reason why he had insulted her at the meeting in L.A. She had a magnetism about her that made every man want to protect her, fuck her or both—not a good combination when she played her looks off so innocently and kept wearing even more risqué outfits that showed off her fabulous curves.
“Listen, I didn’t know you then and excuse fucking me but I grew up in an MC. Men only have respect for one certain type of woman and that is an old lady. If you’re just out there and single then you can be any and everyone’s and therefore you’re nothing but a skank whore lookin’ for cock. Unfortunately, being in a rock band hasn’t done much to change the perception I already had of women so…” he trailed off and shrugged his shoulders before he lit a Marlboro.
“Hey, can I bum one of those off you? I shouldn’t be smoking but I need one at the moment.”
Jaden handed her one and all the sudden this felt like their conversation he and Syd were rudely interrupting.
On instinct, Syd cleared her voice and said, “Listen, we’re gonna take our lagers to go. Kaz and I have some shit we gotta talk about. You two enjoy the rest of your evening.”
He stood and so did she before they walked off toward the entrance of the hotel from the beer garden.
“Thanks for saving our asses,” he remarked as they walked through the lobby.
“Are you fucking kidding me? You didn’t feel the heat and chemistry sizzling between them? They will be fuckin’ each other—if they haven’t started already—before we get to Scandinavia and I don’t want anything to do with that fiasco.”
KAZ COULDN’T WAIT until he and Syd were alone. They sat on the sofa and talked for what seemed like forever until their lagers were finished. It wasn’t so much about the conversation itself but the bonding experience and it hit him out of left field when she looked at him underneath hooded gray-blue eyes that were so intense, his dick was ready for lift off instantly.
Fuck me, I have fallen in love with Sydney fucking Landvik and it feels so good, I don’t ever want this to end.
He couldn’t lie to himself any longer. She was the yin to his yang; the light to his fucking fucked up darkness that wouldn’t dissipate no matter how hard he tried. She wasn’t perfect but she wasn’t supposed to be and that is what made her so goddamn right for him.
She didn’t judge him and she never looked down on him, not even when she found out Desmond “Dizzy” Cox was his biological father and that made him and Jaden half-brothers. She didn’t care because it didn’t change how she felt for him and that was exhilarating.
Syd was far from perfect but being in love wasn’t about perfection. She could have her ‘stupid rich girl’ moments, her fucked up bitch mood swings and when she wanted to, she could be downright petty and vindictive. However, she was his and he was hers and that’s all that really mattered in the end.
He hadn’t thought of fucking another woman since they’d been on tour and in Europe, beautiful and slim women were a dime a dozen, especially at their concerts. Unlike some of their American counterparts, they didn’t seem cheap and used up, even when they sported tattoos and dog collars. They looked clean and ready to devour any man who came their way and if he didn’t have Sydney, he’d have a different groupie in his bed every night.
But she made the unthinkable impossible and yes, he could still appreciate a gorgeous woman but he didn’t want to fuck her. He didn’t want her to touch him sexually; he quite liked admiring from afar and knowing every woman—and more than a handful of men—desired to tear his clothes right off and become wild and primal with him.
Truth be told, it turned him on big time. Wasn’t it one of the reasons why he had chosen to become a rock star in the first place? Who didn’t want the adoration from millions of fans who worshipped them as a band and loved the music because at the end of the day, it was all about standing behind the music.
Sure, it didn’t hurt that none of the members of either band were ugly. They didn’t have any Metallica issues to deal with; in fact they had the opposite problem. Every male in both Scarlet Fever and Winter’s Regret was good looking, sexy, tattooed down and knew how to rock. They’d made it in spite of their pretty boy looks because they could have easily become the twenty-first century equivalent of 80s acts like Warrant or Skid Row but that would never happen. They would never be known as a bunch of pretty boys with semi-talent. Their looks were a hindrance and a curse.
It was the reason why Kaz worked that much harder on the lyrics and mastered both the acoustic and the electric guitar as well as he could sing and his voice was chocolate velvet fused with barb wire.
Will tried that much harder when it came to bass because he was no one’s good looking, blond Kurt Cobain look-a-like bitch boy from a small town. He knew his shit and practiced until the tips of his fingers were calloused and he knew every song forwards and backwards.
Grant had mastered the kit and knew exactly how to play the drums, when to switch the beat up on certain songs where Kaz had envisioned him playing one way but his was always better. He loved his job, hated his soft, luscious looks that made women swoon; his unfortunate likeness to Robert Pattinson was a running joke no one in the band would ever let him live down. Grant wished he looked more masculine and compensated by working out but he would always be tall, lean and he still resembled the Twilight actor. Sasha was probably one of the first women he’d ever run into who appreciated him for him. They had a rich and deep understanding when it came to one another and in a business surrounded by fakes, this was a rare quality indeed.
Jaden’s looks rivaled Kaz; in fact his fan club was just as big as Kaz’s because he was the lead guitarist and what he could do to his specially-designed, scarlet-red Gibson Les Paul was short of making love to an inanimate instrument on stage. He stroked her and played her beautifully, regardless how fucked up he was, and that happened to be the only gift their no-good-father had passed down to his son. His dark brown hair and amber eyes captured the attention of both males and females not to mention the body—lean, tattooed, toned with hidden muscles everywhere was no less than amazing.
What the fuck? Kaz could admit he was in love with his band too and no woman had ever come close to the kinship the men shared with one another. They were family and took care of each other when they had no one else they could depend on. Any one of those guys he would die for and now he felt that way about another human being and he couldn’t believe it was happening again.
The feelings towards his band mates had taken years to accumulate and they’d been through some tough shit together. They knew what it was like to struggle and the overwhelming need and absolute hunger to make it. Failure was never an option for them. There were days when they had to decide whether they wanted Burger King or forty-ounce bottles of Colt 45, a carton of GPCs and Ramen noodles instead. They’d paid their dues and when they finally made it, not one of them ever acted like the world owed them something.
Of course they had tried their fair share of drugs and groupies—that was what the whole rock and roll experience was supposed to be about but long ago, they’d made a pact. No chick would ever come between them and no bitch would ever break up their group. “Bros before hoes” and that was a gangsta model they definitely stuck with because every man knew a chick could be a man’s undoing. They were just designed that way and it wasn’t their fault but it sure did make loving them that much harder and trust never entered the picture.
All the sudden, each of them was pretty much settled down. Grant and Will had somehow ended up with the sisters but he had to say that Laurel had calmed down immensely and like S
yd, she adapted quite well.
She was still all about her designer clothes but Will was incredibly important to her and she never ever let petty shit get to her. They’d started out with an open relationship because he didn’t think she was anyone who would ever be serious about a man like him. Last he heard, it was closed now and they were both committed to one another.
Grant was the sensitive type and Sasha got that. She came off tough as nails and cold as ice but she also cared and had a heart so big, she could handle all of Grant’s shit and nothing seemed to faze her the least bit. She still did her job and made time for their relationship which was hard enough when a tour was on and rockin’.
Kaz knew his brother loved Faith and worshipped her but his trust in her had been broken beyond repair after her latest stunt. He didn’t understand how the rock, the foundation of their relationship could fall apart and that was what he was struggling with now. He and Talia might find solace in one another’s arms but it would be short-lived and confined to the tour because neither would ever leave their spouses. They weren’t designed that way and loyalty ran to the core of their bones.
Falling Into Love Page 9
