In one way, he could respect that but in another, he also felt they were both being really stupid. If a relationship was too dysfunctional to work then maybe that was a sign two people shouldn’t be together at all.
Kaz couldn’t help but agree with Syd when she said it was only a matter of time before those two got together in the physical sense and he didn’t want to know about it. Plausible deniability was a beautiful thing and if he stayed out of their way then when Faith called and inquired how Jaden was doing, he could tell her everything was fine and he looked forward to the tour ending so he could get back to L.A. and see her again.
“Where are you, baby?” Syd wondered out loud.
“What are you talking about?” he questioned back but realized he’d been quietly contemplating for more than just a few minutes.
He’d disappeared completely into himself and had left her so far behind, it took him a while before he acknowledged her presence again.
“You’re a million miles away and it’s almost five in the morning. We should try to get some rest…the concert is tonight and you guys have rehearsal early this afternoon.”
“Go on to bed. I need one more drink and I’ll join you.”
She crawled into his lap, her soft blonde hair brushed his bare arm as she kissed him softly. “Make it a quick one, okay?”
“I will.” Kaz smiled at her as she stood and looked down at him with intense steel blue eyes. “I promise.”
“Okay.” Syd strolled into the bedroom and left the doors open.
He stood, walked over to the mini-bar and found a bottle of Macallan scotch. He tore the top off and placed it on the top of the mini-bar and swallowed the delicious liquor in less than a minute. It warmed his belly as he made his way to their bedroom and began to undress on the way there.
The wife beater ended up on the floor and so did the slightly loose-fitting indigo jeans. He sat on the bed before he laid down on his back and placed his arms behind his head. Syd turned over and snuggled up to him, her right leg tossed over his torso casually before she rubbed his bare dick with her smooth calf.
“What are you doing?”
“I’m ready…” she trailed off as she kissed his neck and rubbed her nude body against his.
He wanted to devour her in so many ways but it seemed like it had been ages since they’d had sex when in reality, it had been about two weeks. The doctor told them to wait at least one week before sexual intercourse but she hadn’t been psychologically ready. He didn’t think it would be possible for him to wait any longer but he’d persevered; now she was ready and he felt the same. He had to have her, be inside her, move with her.
Kaz flipped her onto her back and spread her legs before he fit his body between her. He held his cock in his hand and was about to plunge right into her hot, inviting pussy when he hesitated ever so slightly.
“Are you sure?” he inquired before he bit his lower lip.
“Yes,” Syd whispered as she slid her arms around his neck and pulled him closer to her. “I want you to fuck me. No foreplay, no delays…just, please, take me and make me yours again.”
He devoured her ever-ready mouth and their tongues swirled together in a delicious heat that sent spasms directly to his aching dick. He pulled away and looked at her again.
“I don’t need to fuck you for you to be mine again. You were never not mine.”
She grabbed his hard cock and guided him inside her and he swore his body shuddered from the feeling of being one with her yet again. He couldn’t believe they could express what they felt for each other in the most physical sense of the word. Instinct told him to move slowly inside her as her legs wrapped around his waist and she pressed her breasts against his chest as her tongue teased his collar bone.
Her hands dug into his upper back with sharp nails as he worked himself in and out of her delicious wetness. He wanted to really take her hard and rough but he knew she was delicate and he would have to control himself. She was so fucking tight and held him inside her like a vice unwilling to let go.
“How does that feel?” Kaz questioned with a hint of worry in his voice.
“It’s fine but maybe we should switch positions. I will never come like this and although I love the missionary position, it is not the greatest way for a woman to achieve an orgasm.”
He didn’t want to leave her slick warmth but he pulled out and she rolled over until she was on her stomach and positioned herself doggy-style.
It was too much visual stimulus for him; her perfect ass poised in the air, her glistening pussy beckoning to him and that fucking tattoo with his name underneath. He traced it against her creamy skin before his hand dipped lower and teased her core. His finger easily found her G-spot and she tightened around him in a delicious way before he worked a second and yet a third inside to massage the spongy tissue.
Syd bucked against his hips and gyrated that beautiful ass of hers until she moaned out loud and her whole body shuddered and covered his hand in her creamy wetness. She might not have been ready before but now she was and as he kissed her tattoo, she looked over her shoulder, the look in those eyes of hers was too much for him to handle.
Kaz got onto his knees and rubbed his cock with the same hand covered in her juices before he entered her with one deep thrust. He didn’t want to hurt her but all logic left his mind and he allowed his animal body to take over as he pounded her and she cried out in a mixture of pleasure and pain.
One hand continued to hold her waist while the other snaked between her thighs and found her clit, hardened with desire. He stroked her over and over again as he continued his physical assault on her body that was sure to leave her sore afterwards.
She bucked against him as he touched her and her hips gyrated to meet his strokes while he bent over her and kissed her back and neck. Their lips met briefly before her muscles contracted around his dick and she began to orgasm again. He followed shortly after in a never ending feeling of one hundred percent pleasure. His cock twitched inside her until there was nothing left and it was only then he reluctantly left the warmth of her body and laid on his back.
Syd laid on her stomach and threw her arm over his stomach. “I love you, baby.”
“I love you too, honey.”
For the first time since he’d been alive and aware of his emotions, he knew for a fact there was no ambiguity when it came to Syd. She was the perfect mix of angel and whore; he loved everything about her and nothing would ever change that.
Chapter Nine
Concerts & After Parties
AFTER LESS THAN five hours of sleep, I wasn’t in the best of moods but a strong cup of coffee and watching Scarlet Fever practice perked me up big time. I loved watching Kaz perform; his voice dripped of honey and sex, he vocally fucked the audience one minute and the next, he made love to them and created the perfect orgasmic experience this side of nirvana.
It didn’t help he had the hottest fucking musicians in Munich behind him doing what they did best although Jaden seemed distracted. He didn’t mess up and could play his Les Paul in his sleep but he wasn’t exactly having the time of his life onstage either.
“Shouldn’t you be taking photos or what ever it is your job to do on this tour, cupcake?”
I looked up at the female voice and scowled.
Great, I thought, if it isn’t the bitch queen herself and Kaz’s ex-wife.
I would never forgive Damira for the shit she pulled in France and since my emergency procedure, our relationship had been frosty at best. She never spoke to me unless it was an insult flying from between those perfect lips and my retort was usually rattled off with the same disrespect.
“Laurel likes to do the photos while the stadiums are empty. I’ll take the photos tonight. Some freak spooked her in Amsterdam when he grabbed her and it took ages for the bouncers to get the drugged up fucker off her,” I explained in a cold tone.
“Listen, Introspect Records hired the two of us to do our jobs—”
; “Yeah, I know that. I am paying Laurel from my salary so how is that any of your business? Kaz doesn’t have a problem with it and you sure as fuck aren’t depositing money in my checking account so why don’t you mind your own goddamn business?”
“Oh, pissy, aren’t we?” Damira placed a hand on one of her bony hips. She’d lost at least fifteen pounds since the tour started and it was weight she desperately needed because she was wavering into Miley Cyrus skinny territory. “Is Kaz not fucking you the way he should? I saw him flirting with those chicks in Brussels.”
I rolled my eyes because what she said was an outright blatant lie. Yes, Kaz was friendly with the lady fans but he never acted in any way indecent or disrespectful towards me. I knew when he was on auto-pilot and after every show, his star persona showed through but that wasn’t the real him but I sure as hell wasn’t going to tell this emaciated bitch that.
Damira drank from a one liter water bottle before she went for the jugular. “So, it looks like your whore friend has moved on to Jaden now that Faith isn’t hangin’ off him like a cheap suit. What happened to her anyway?”
I glared at the bitch and was moments from climbing out of my seat and clocking the pretentious cunt because she was seriously starting to fucking piss me off. “You know what happened to her—hell, the whole group knows what happened to her. She went back to the States and checked into Promises since she’s preggers and addicted to Oxy and coke. It’s not that hard to guess she won’t be back and Jaden won’t see her until the tour is over.
“Faith knows how it works and she doesn’t expect him to be faithful because he can’t, not for that long. If he and Talia hook up, it’s no one else’s business but their own so why don’t you shut your fucking pie-hole and continue to film that documentary you’re working so tirelessly on.”
“Mmm, it’s nice to see what kind of best friend you are. With friends like you, who the fuck needs enemies?”
“Funny you say that because I was about to say the same thing about you.” I stood and walked away before I really lost my temper.
It didn’t take me long to find Laurel who spoke to her sister in a hushed tone. They spotted me and smiled as I approached them.
“Damira bothering you again?” Sasha greeted in a sympathetic tone.
“When the hell isn’t she a perpetual thorn in my side? That woman is seriously annoying. I feel like decking her bony ass but there goes an assault charge and it’s not worth it, not for someone like her.”
“You hear what’s going on around the grapevine?” Laurel wondered as she stared at me with bright hazel-green eyes.
I sipped from a bottle of Coca-Cola Light. “No, I have been out of the loop I guess.”
She looked at her sister and wrinkled her nose before our eyes met again. “Talia fucked Jaden. Last night. Will wanted some bud and knew Jaden had some so we both went to his suite and he answered the door wearing a hotel robe. Now, neither one of us saw anything happen but Talia was in the bedroom because I glimpsed her as she closed the doors.”
“What if it was just a look-alike? How do you know it was Talia? There are a lot of exotic looking women here in Bavaria—they have a huge Turkish population you know.”
Laurel rolled her eyes. “Okay so now you’re accusing me of having bad vision? I would recognize that dark hair and that killer body anywhere because she didn’t have a stich on. Also, what other woman has a Winter’s Regret tat on her back? Yeah, I glimpsed that too.”
There wasn’t much to say after that and I kept quiet. Sasha slid her left arm around my waist. “Cheer up! After tonight’s concert, we are having a kick ass after party at Augustiner Keller. The band did a contest and so the most dedicated fans get to spend the evening with both bands. That should be fun, don’t you think?”
I smiled but the knot in my stomach suggested otherwise.
THE CONCERT ITSELF went off without a hitch.
Winter’s Regret rocked the stadium into a frenzy until Scarlet Fever came on and the crowd went wild. I loved to watch Kaz perform and I clicked wildly at both the fans and the band as they played “Together With You”. It had become one of my favorite songs, a fast paced, hard rocking anthem to the perfect chick.
“You make me whole and if I had a choice, we’d die together,” my lover began in that raspy, sex-filled honey voice of his. “You know you have my heart so why are we playing these games? I know you feel the same and you fucking love me so make up your fucking mind!”
The crowd began to sing with him as the chorus began, “Angels cry when we fuck and the devil smiles at my bad luck. I found you and we both know I am bad for you but you’ll stay because we belong together. My heart swells when it’s just the two of us but everything about us is wrong. Why do I feel like everything is perfect when I’m alone and together with you?”
The song was a duo Kaz had done with Trilogy’s Juli Andrews but Talia walked onto the stage and the crowd went crazy. Her reputation now preceded her and she was the most famous member of Winter’s Regret despite being the newest and only woman.
Rolling Stone had sent a reporter to interview her and she would be on the cover on the February of the 2014 issue. There was a good chance she would be the lead singer of the group if Seth didn’t pull his shit together.
“Addicted to you, that’s what I call my obsession to your ass but baby, when you and I are one, I hear voices in my head why does something so wrong feel so right?” she sang in that strong, beautiful voice of hers that lit up the night. “You’re gonna try to run away from me but that ain’t gonna happen because I will hold on tight. I know you’re the one and we will be together so admit you love me. You’re my own diamond in the sky and I need you as much as you need me!”
They sang the chorus along with the crowd and I thought the whole place was going to come down though Germans being Germans, I wasn’t particularly worried about a riot. Even at rock concerts, there was a certain order and control to their behavior that I’d never seen in any country before that moment. However, Kaz assured me Scandinavians were similar and I knew this to be true being half-Norwegian and making more trips to the old country as a kid and teenager than I could count.
As I shot them together, Kaz’s right arm wrapped around her waist and their leather pants grinding against one another, I knew why Seth felt threatened. The woman was a walking billboard for decadent songstress in her barely there black lace bra and preening around the stage in a pair of black six-inch Christian Louboutin booties, she was sex personified.
Her tattoos were all prominent and shined against her skin sheened with sweat. The song ended with Kaz kissing her deeply, tongue included, and the crowd went wild. I knew it was an act but it didn’t make it any easier for me to accept. A lump formed in my throat as the camera clicked.
I knew she would sing a couple of songs and the concert would be over therefore I hauled ass backstage and licked my wounds in private. I put my camera away and strolled out to the parking light where I lit a cigarette and smoked in silence.
“Now you know how I feel. Is it no wonder I treat her like shit? She’s making up for all the men she couldn’t fuck when we went out and I can’t say that she is doing a pretty bad job at making up for lost time.”
I looked to my right and Seth dragged on a cigarette. He was bare-chested with tats galore and only a pair of inky gray leather pants decorating his body. It was cold in Munich; it was early December after all and it felt like snow would fall from the pale gray sky at any moment.
Time worked differently on the road and unless one had been on a concert tour before, it was an impossible feeling to describe. I knew I’d missed Thanksgiving and I would miss Christmas with my family too but nothing mattered other than the tour and doing our jobs. We still celebrated but they were subdued and underwhelming to say the least. The schedule was our religion and the next show, our place of worship.
“You’re mistaken because I trust Kaz and unlike you two, we don’t have a relationship that rival
s Eminem’s disastrous train wreck with Kim, his former wife. What ever is going on between you and Talia, I don’t want to know about it.” I dragged from my cigarette and blew the smoke out of my mouth.
“So you were okay with her sticking her tongue in your man’s mouth on stage after she’d given Jaden a fucking blow job earlier this evening? Here’s hoping she brushed her teeth afterwards.”
If I’d had a drink, I would have thrown it in his face.
I laughed out loud; it wasn’t funny but the thought of Seth knowing his girlfriend was cheating on him yet he could do nothing about it held a gorgeous sense of poetic justice.
I considered Talia a friend so the fact that she was fucking one of my best friend’s boyfriends left a slight sour taste in my mouth but I also knew Jaden and Faith didn’t have the most conventional relationship. To be honest, I just didn’t care. She’d brought it on herself by becoming a drug addict while knowing she was carrying her boyfriend’s kid. I didn’t have a lot of sympathy for her especially when I ceased all risqué activity—except rough sex—when I realized I was expecting, and I still lost my kid.
Falling Into Love Page 10
