She shifted, uncomfortable. “Does he? I’m not so sure.”
“I am. I would give half my scales for a man to look at me the way he looks at you. And that is all I will say on the matter.”
Relief flooded Mahlia, and she released a huge sigh.
A coy smile curled Katryn’s full lips as she turned back. “So, tell me… How was the mating ritual?”
Mahlia laughed and then sobered to put on her primmest Amira voice. “I do not reveal the details of the Amir’s sex life.”
“Oh, come now. Let me live vicariously. Is he as good as his reputation says? It takes at least twice to be a true judge of these things. So…”
“Katryn!”
The weredragon opened her mouth to respond when she froze, her head cocking to listen. Mahlia lifted her sensitive nose to sniff the air, straining to hear as well. Varad. Her heart seized at the thought.
The door pushed open as an enormous tiger stepped in. He flicked a glance at Katryn. She stood, bowed, and padded on silent feet out the door, closing it behind her.
Mahlia lifted her chin. “I was talking to her.”
You’ll be talking to me. His voice went silky, dangerous in her mind.
The great tiger stalked forward, its golden gaze locked on her, and she swallowed. He ran his tongue down a long fang, fierce passion in his eyes. The smooth, feline grace couldn’t cover the barely leashed violence. His claws bit into the silk sheets as he leaped onto the end of her bed. His eyes never left her as he moved, forcing her to lie back as he stood over her. Her fingers rose to sink into the warm fur at his neck. His head tilted back, and he began to change. Within moments a naked Varad lay nestled between her spread thighs. Her fingers buried in the soft hair at the nape of his neck.
Her body reacted, dampening, loosening as she arched beneath him. Her knees rose to clasp his hips through the saltwater silk sheets. His buttocks flexed, pushing his erection against her heated pussy. Desire roared like a greedy wildfire through her, burning everything in its path.
He rolled away, leaving her barren, cold, aching for more. She curled to her side, squeezing her thighs together in a desperate attempt to ease the relentless need that throbbed there. He sat on the side of the bed, propping his forearms on his thighs.
He twisted to glare at her, his pupils thin slits of anger. “I will not be distracted. We have yet to finish our discussion from earlier.”
Discussion? The words struggled to register in her lust-filled mind. Jeevan. He wanted to talk about their son’s death. Nausea pitched in her stomach, and she felt as if she couldn’t breathe.
Make it stop. Make the pain stop. Please, Gods. That’s all she’d done for the past Turn. One day at a time. One breath. One moment. Anything but confront the fact that her son, her sweet child, had been ripped away from her life by an accident of fate. Her hands fisted at her sides, nails biting into her palms.
She closed her eyes, agony rolling over her in a suffocating wave. “I can’t…I’ll just start yelling at you again.”
“So yell, scream…just do something but remain angry. It won’t help you to hold it all in.”
“No.”
A low, snarling hiss issued from his throat, and she swallowed, scooting back against the headboard. His hand whipped out, caught her wrist in an iron grip. His eyes were full gold, the tiger stalking her. She panted, excitement and fear sliding through her.
Varad?
“You know what happens to those who don’t please their Amir?”
She licked her lips, her blood pounding hot and wild in her veins. He pulled her to him, easy strength overpowering her. Digging her heels into the mattress, she tried to resist, but it was a halfhearted effort. Her pussy was on fire, cream flooding her core. Her body screamed for him to take her. Swift and hard and now.
Oh, Gods. What would he do to her? She’d never seen him this angry. Never pushed him this far.
“I—I…”
“You refuse to speak to me, Mahlia. This I cannot tolerate.” A sharp tug flipped her facedown on his lap, her hair brushing the floor beside the bed. Her wrists were caught in his firm grip at the small of her back. Blood rushed to her head, and she felt a giddy anticipation balloon in her chest. His palm stroked over her backside, and she moaned.
“Oh, Gods,” she whispered, her body tensing against his legs.
A sharp slap echoed through the massive chamber. She jumped as flames licked over her skin. His palm landed hard against her ass, alternating cheeks, falling in an unpredictable rhythm. Just when she relaxed, another slap would fall. Her sex clenched, aching to be filled. She arched up into his hand, a dark pleasure she couldn’t define exploding through her.
Then it stopped, and she was left shuddering, confused. Wanting more.
“Do you like this, Mahlia?”
Her breath sobbed between her lips. “Yes.”
His fingertip skimmed over her sore skin, making her gasp as the sensations skittered over her hot flesh. He dipped between her buttocks, and she froze, waiting. One finger swirled around her anus.
Yes. Please, Varad.
He lifted her, tossing her onto the bed with careless ease. His weight pressed her deep into the mattress as he settled on top of her, behind her. His cock nudged her ass, and she arched beneath him, spreading her legs wide. Shameless abandon ripped through her.
“Please, Varad,” his voice mocked her as his breath caressed her ear. He slid a hand around her stomach, lifting her hips to dip his finger between her legs. He parted her pussy lips with rough fingers, flicking the tips against her rock-hard clit. His fingers swirled in her depths. A low purr dragged from her throat.
His cock thrust into her anus, a slow push that stretched her past bearing. Pleasure-pain lashed at her, her ass too tight on his driving cock. Her fingernails extended into claws, tearing into the expensive sheets. She pressed back against him, wanting more, needing all he could give her. He moved in smooth, hard strokes, burying his dick deep within her ass again and again and again. His fingers matched his cock thrust for thrust until she was screaming. She was so full, so desperate for more. Sweat slid down her face, and her arms shook as they tried to support her.
The muscled ridges of his stomach spanked against her hot backside, the slap of his flesh meeting hers loud to her sensitive ears. She loved it. Moaning, she writhed beneath him. Fire licked through her, drew her muscles tight.
Then he stopped. She sobbed in protest, shaking with her need.
His smooth, wicked voice sounded in her ear. “Do you want more? Would you beg for it?”
“Yes, anything, Varad. Yes.” Her breath shuddered out as she gasped for breath.
His cock pulled out and slammed deep. His fingers flicked over her clitoris. The dark magic of his tone seduced her as surely as the pleasure twisting through her.
“Do I please you as no other?”
“Yes.” She closed her eyes, orgasm gathering in her pussy. A few more strokes, and she’d go over. Oh, Gods, yes.
“Say you’ll talk to me.”
Her tongue barely wrapped around the words. Anything to make him keep from stopping, to make him move. She would die if he stopped again. “Yes.”
“Are you not my Amira, my queen, the jewel of my kingdom?”
“Yes. Yes. Yes.” Starbursts exploded behind her eyes, her muscles locking as she came.
A tiger’s roar sounded behind her, echoed by her own high-pitched, animalistic scream. She threw her head back, fangs fully extended as the tiger within her sprang free. She shuddered over and over, Varad pumping within her, dragging out her orgasm until the world went black and she collapsed, spent.
Chapter 4
Varad loved this view. The rapidly cooling air caressed his bare skin, and he stood with a forearm braced against the open window, watching the last fading rays of the sun being swallowed behind the moons. A great sigh slid past his lips. Gods, he was tired. And no closer to resolving his problems with his mate than he had been the day before.
She still lay on the bed sleeping. Her pregnancy would sap much of her strength over the next few months. He could hear her slow, deep breaths and smell the fragrance of her soft skin mingled with the lingering scent of their vigorous sex from the night before.
Hopeless exhaustion pulled at him. He wanted to give up, give in. Closing his eyes, he dropped his chin to his chest. He was so tired of fighting her, fighting to preserve their mating. It would pass, he knew. The endless longing he had for her was too deep-seated, too essential to his being for him to ever let go. He shook his head.
“Mmm…Varad?” Mahlia’s sleepy voice pulled him from his weary thoughts. He turned to see her push herself upright, sweeping her hair out of her eyes. She slipped to the side of the bed and gathered the sheet around her, tugging it over her breasts. The silk pooled at her hips, exposing the sweet curve of her backside as she stood. Waiting, he watched her walk to him, the sheet parting to reveal her long, slim legs with each step. He purred at the sight, desire kicking him in the gut. His cock hardened, throbbing.
She yawned as he folded her into his arms, her cheek lying on his shoulder. His hand swept up the soft, soft skin of her back. She dropped the sheet to let it pool around her hips. Her palm cupped his bicep as he pulled her other arm over his shoulder, slipping his finger down the silky underside of her arm.
“Mahlia.”
When she tensed against him, he knew she waited for him to push. Again. The sadness of this moment spun between them, and for once she didn’t fight. She swallowed. “I know I promised, but…”
“Are you angry that he died, Mahlia? Or angry that I left?”
“Neither. Both. Stop it, Varad.” She shook her head and tried to pull away.
He tightened his arms. This was it. Now or never. He’d reached the end of his endurance. “I cannot.”
Her fingers bit into his shoulder. “Why? Why? I did everything I was supposed to do, Varad. Isn’t that enough?”
“No.” Both of their breaths sped as agitation rippled through them.
“I hate you!”
He flinched back, pain ripping through him. “That is unfortunate, my mate.”
“Stop reminding me.” Her hands crossed to clench the opposite arm.
“I cannot help what you are to me, Mahlia.”
Her voice broke. “You can! You’re the Amir. You can do anything.”
“Except cut out my own heart, my love.” Agony exploded deep within him, and each breath was a painful rasp of air.
Her head shook, making her striped hair fly wild around her shoulders. “I am not your love. You don’t…you can’t. You left us like we were nothing to you. Don’t pretend, now that it’s convenient for you.”
Grief settled cold and heavy on his chest, forced the air from his lungs. “I never left Jeevan, Mahlia. I was here through all of it, by your side, and his. Every. Single. Moment.”
Her arms folded around herself, and she swayed on her feet. “I know. I wanted to hold him so much. I couldn’t…I couldn’t.”
The memory sliced through Varad, flaying his heart, his soul. He groaned, closing his eyes. He remembered. Gods, he remembered everything. At the last, even the lightest touch had made Jeevan scream in pain. So they had stood on opposite sides of his tiny bed and watched as their babe had drawn his last shuddering breath. A low keen of pain had erupted from Mahlia’s throat as she’d hit her knees, curling into herself and rocking. Varad had stared for a moment, but it was too much for any father…for any man. He had turned and walked away, his steps picking up speed until he was running as fast as his legs could carry him, the scream of a tiger’s roar echoing down the corridor as he went.
Nothing had drawn them together since.
He turned to her, closing his hands around her arms. She jerked back, tears swimming in her beautiful blue eyes. Her lips shook and compressed into a soft line. Then her face crumpled, and she broke, the tears finally falling. She collapsed against him.
Sobs racked her body as she pounded her fists on his chest. “You just l-left us. You didn’t care. His b-body wasn’t even cold yet when you f-flew away without a backward glance.”
Shock slammed into him, exploding in his mind. His hands bit into her arms. “You truly believe that? I loved him, too. I miss him every single day. There’s a hole in my heart where Jeevan should be.”
She let go, crying so hard she gagged. No more hiding her anguish, no more pretending to carry on in stoic silence for her people. She screamed with her grief, and it tore at him. He pulled her tight against his chest as emotion so deep it threatened to swallow him ripped through him. Salty moisture filled his eyes, and he held his mate to him, needing her soft body and sweet strength.
Spent, she lay limp against him, hiccupping sobs shaking her slim frame. “I can’t do it again, Varad. What if—what if it’s our genetics that don’t combine and this child has the same defect? What if it was no accident of nature?”
His hands brushed through the long strands of her hair. “We will do it because we must. If this babe has the same defect, we will love him or her for the time we have together. It is that simple and that difficult.”
“Such cold logic.” She huffed.
He snorted. “Love has no logic. Love is insanity.”
“Love, ha.”
Could he say it? Outright, no subterfuge? Yes. She needed the words, and he needed to say them. Still, his throat constricted. “I love you. I always have. I always will.”
Her jaw jutted stubbornly. “Varad—”
Sighing, he tipped up her chin and forced her to look at him. “Perhaps you should see it from my point of view. Did you never think to ask? I left you to do what must be done because I trusted no one else to do it. I had to leave. To do my duty. I trusted you to do the same. There is no one else I would as easily trust my people to, my throne to, my heart to. Only you.”
Her eyes widened, wary surprise flashing through their pale blue depths. She said nothing, just stared up at him.
He swallowed, forced out the words. “I died every day without you, knowing the one person who could understand, who would feel as I did, could not be with me. If it makes me cold, calculating, then I confess to it. I never meant to hurt you, Mahlia. If you believe nothing else, believe that.”
She glanced away, another tear slipping down her pale cheek. Her eyes clenched closed, and she whispered, “I believe you.”
The tight band around his chest snapped as relief rushed through him. Finally. Finally something to give him…hope. That they could make it through this. He loved her so much it was a physical pain at times. A life without her would be no life at all.
Thank the merciful, benevolent Gods.
He cupped her jaw in his palms, stroking his thumbs down her cheeks to wipe away the moisture. She leaned into his touch, pressing her hands to his chest. Her fingers idly circled his nipple, and he sucked in a breath, desire punching him. His dick hardened at even the simplest touch from her, no matter how serious the moment. An ironic smile twisted his lips.
She stared at his chest, watching her fingers move as she toyed with him. “I—I’m scared, Varad.”
“So am I.”
Tilting her head, she glanced up at him from the corner of her eye. “You are?”
“Of course.” What sane man wouldn’t be? Only a fool would remain unruffled when all that mattered to him hung in the balance. Would she accept that they belonged together regardless of the pain they might experience? Had he convinced her? Baring his soul to this woman was a trivial thing if it worked.
She wasn’t alone.
The thought, inane as it was, ran through Mahlia’s mind over and over.
She wasn’t alone. Varad was scared, too. Somehow that made it…easier to admit. To face. To get through this new pregnancy and pray to all the Gods for a happier outcome. Pulling in a deep breath, she felt as if she were surfacing from a deep swim in the Dead Sea. As if the heavy water had closed her in darkness and someone had reached out and caught
her before the tides had ripped her away.
Varad. Her eyes closed. Gods, she loved him. And…he loved her, too. Sweetness bubbled up within her, and a smile burst over her lips. He loved her.
He grieved for their babe, too, suffering in solitude as she had. Smiling through the rage and pain as she had.
No more. No more of that for either of them ever. She squared her shoulders. It was right that they have each other. No one would ever know what they had been through, how they had survived. They were good for each other. They needed each other. The rest would take care of itself.
His hands stroked up and down her back, comforting her. Even that light touch was enough to make her shiver. Glancing up, his golden eyes swirled with the carnal heat that spun between them. Her sex tightened, drenching with moisture, and she gasped. She splayed her fingers wide over his chest, and he leaned closer, a rumbling purr vibrating under her fingers.
I crave your touch, Mahlia.
“You crave my touch?” Sliding her hand between them, she wrapped her fingers around his cock. Squeezing, she worked up to the flared crest and rotated her palm over the head. His eyes drifted closed, and his face flushed with pleasure.
“Yes. Touch me.”
Dropping to her knees before him, she continued to pump his dick in her fingers. She wanted to taste him, to suck him. She licked her lips, a teasing grin playing over her face as she looked up at him. What about my tongue, Amir? Do you crave that as well?
He sucked in a harsh breath, his pupils expanding as he watched her. He cupped her jaw while the other hand toyed with her hair.
Locking her gaze with his, she started to change, knew the color in her eyes bled out to a solid blue. She focused the shift, let her tongue become rough and textured, stroked it lightly from the base of his cock to the tip, swirling it around to dip into the tiny hole. The salty tang of his juices slipped over her tongue.
“Mahlia,” he gritted out her name, a warning, a plea.
His fingers fisted in her hair, and his hips bucked, thrusting his cock to the back of her throat. He snarled, hovering on the edge of feral. Her thighs tensed. Seeing how she could push him to the limit made her so wet. Heat fizzed in her veins, made her heart pound. She loved it. She wanted more.
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