Freedom

by KC Kean

  “Jess, we can figure this all out together.” I reach my hand out to her, but she steps back from my grasp, hammering another nail in my coffin.

  “I think you should leave,” Oscar mutters quietly from behind Luna, and I’m surprised he isn’t laughing with joy at what he’s seeing. I can’t take my eyes off her to even look at him.

  Before I can respond to him, Jess beats me to it. “I think you should all leave. Except for Luna.” Looking past me, I can see her eyes pleading with Luna.

  “Jess, we can—”

  “No, Kai. In some way or another every single one of you has some form of alpha fucking tendencies, and I don’t want or need to be around it right now. It doesn’t make things any easier when you go all caveman on the situation.” She pauses, glancing up to the ceiling as if holding in her tears before continuing. “I’m doing this my way, the safe way.”

  My heartstrings are being yanked by her cool demeanor, tearing my soul apart. My hands sweat as I try to fucking understand why Jess is slipping through my fingers right now.

  I feel dead inside, knowing this is going in the complete opposite direction of what I want. All I can hear is a ringing in my ears as I try to stay calm.

  “And what is the safe way, beautiful?”

  “I can’t risk my father’s life, so I think it’s best to give them what they want. I will marry Reece.”

  Her words play on repeat in my mind as I leave her room, no one speaking to me as I go. Likely because no one knows what to fucking say.

  I find myself out by the fountain, and I don’t remember how I even got here. I need to tell the others what is going on.

  Me: We have a huge fucking problem!

  Me: Like astronomical.

  My fingers fly across the keyboard, not looking to see if they have responded yet because I need to get this information across.

  Me: Jess kicked me out. KICKED ME OUT.

  Me: We need a group meeting ASAP guys.

  Trying to take a deep breath to calm my racing heart proves difficult. I can see they are reading my messages now, so I continue.

  Me: She said, and I quote, ‘I can’t risk my father’s life, so I think it’s best to give them what they want.’

  Me: Said she needed some time or some shit and did I mention she KICKED ME OUT!

  I wait, watching the green little light flicker to say they’ve seen my message. Still no response. Fucking assholes.

  Me: I can fucking see you motherfuckers reading and not responding!

  Me: She also fucking said, and I quote again, ‘the fact I have to sacrifice my own happiness to save someone is just weighing heavy on me.’

  My phone finally buzzes in my hand as I finally get a response, and it’s a phone call from Maverick.

  “Hey, what took you so long?” I grunt, running my hands through my hair at a complete loss of what to do.

  “Rafe was calling me at the same time. Telling me Luna has set up security so we can’t fucking get in and see her,” he growls down the phone, and I hear West in the background.

  “Guys, we need to keep our shit together. Do you understand? We need to give her the space she clearly needs, even if we don’t want to. Our focus needs to be on fixing this whole shit show for her so we can make her see there are no obstacles in our way.”

  Fuck.

  But I need her now.

  Jess

  My heart is bleeding. Split into three and laying at my feet. I’m trying to stay strong, but I know I just washed my happiness down the drain.

  I saw the pain in Aiden’s eyes as I sent them all away, and I’m glad I don’t have a phone right now because I know he will be telling West and Maverick what happened here, and I can’t keep the cruel act up. It isn’t me. But right now, they have no way of contacting me except face to face, which Luna has promised to help me with.

  Well, she actually hasn’t. She hasn’t given me any thoughts or opinions at all. She just sits beside me while forcing me to eat pancakes delivered from the kitchen. She forced everyone to leave, helping me stand my ground at least.

  Still in the same pajamas, my hair a bird’s nest on the top of my head, Luna looks a little more put together beside me but is also wearing her lounge clothes.

  My mind is a complete cluster fuck right now, but I need to get it together. How the hell did Luna come back fighting so quickly after her time in The Pyramid or The Games? I have one hard night at the warehouse, and I want to wallow in self-pity for the rest of my life.

  “Red, you need to eat. How about, if you eat everything, I will watch the vampires with you.” I attempt to raise my eyebrow at her, but she stares me down, knowing my weakness.

  “It’s The Vampire Diaries, and you already said you would watch it without me having to do something in return.”

  “Well, I changed my mind.”

  Glaring at her smug ass face, I take another bite of my pancake and syrup breakfast, and she grins like a Cheshire cat.

  My back stiffens as a knock sounds at the door. I’m not ready to deal with Maverick or West right now. I said I need space for a reason. But Luna squeezes my shoulder and shakes her head.

  “It should be Juliana. Rafe is sitting in the lobby to stop the guys from trying to come up.” He’s what? Oh god. That won’t end well either, and it’s all my fault. At least it isn’t someone’s life, though.

  Luna swings open the door, and just like she said, Juliana walks in, a soft smile on her face and a bag in her hand. I instantly know what’s in there by the logo on the bag.

  “No. Definitely not, Ju-Ju,” I instantly argue, but she just gives me a pointed look and takes a seat beside me on the sofa, allowing Luna to take the spot on the other side of me.

  “Jess, I am your guardian. Lucienda making an appearance or not, and any belongings you had in your purse are long gone. So, I bought you a new phone, no arguments. It’s vital you can stay in contact with everyone, and when I get all your other items re-issued you’re not allowed to complain then either,” she insists, and I know there’s no way I’m going to win this right now.

  I reluctantly nod my head, and she places the bag at my feet.

  “Thank you,” I mumble, but I feel a sense of warmth inside I’ve never had in the presence of my own mother. Like a maternal, caring nature surrounds Juliana, even if she is an ice queen to everyone else.

  “So, Luna mentioned some TVD, and I’m down, but I prefer it when Klaus arrives.” Juliana relaxes back onto the sofa, and I gape at her.

  “Oh my gosh, finally someone who understands my love of TVD. Did Luna even mention that she has never watched it?” Juliana’s eyes widen as she turns, staring at Luna, who simply shrugs her shoulders.

  “Shut the fuck up, you two.” Rising from the sofa, Luna grabs the remote while Juliana points at my plate, encouraging me to finish eating the pancakes. I feel like a damn child between these two and my eating. Apparently, this is the attitude they’re going with for the day.

  “I’ll eat while you tell me what you found out about my father when I mentioned it a little while ago.” I push back, and Juliana nods instantly.

  She looks so different today, reminding me of when we were in New York, relaxing in her apartment. Dressed in a pair of yoga pants and a loose lilac t-shirt, her caramel hair in a messy bun on the top of her head, she looks nothing like the member of The Ring we usually see. The normalcy of it all helps settle me.

  I don’t know how she manages to make everything look so flawless. While I sit here in baggy pajamas and my hair the same way as hers but I look nowhere near as put together.

  “Well, Rafe has his team digging more into it now. Since Luna updated everyone on the situation.” I turn, a small smile on my face as I glance at Luna. A weight lifted off my shoulders as I got everything off my chest to her, and she took care of informing everyone else so I didn’t need to repeat myself.

  “Anything?” I ask, hopeful, but the shake of Juliana’s head deflates it instantly.

  “No
t yet. When you asked me to look a few weeks ago, everything seemed okay. We tracked Neil’s phone location, going to and from the lab. But then, in the past week, he hasn’t left the house, or his phone hasn't, should I say. I made the mistake of assuming he had some vacation time and was just relaxing at home.”

  That sounds exactly like my father. The lab always had to force him to take vacation time, but he never really went anywhere. My mother spent all their earnings on stupid shit, when all my father wanted to do was go fishing and camping for the weekend. The thought alone breaks my heart as I worry he’s never going to be able to do that.

  “We have to be subtle though, if my mother catches wind of us searching, I dread to think what will happen,” I murmur, and Juliana smiles gently at me.

  “Of course. Don’t worry, Rafe knows what he’s doing.” Taking a deep breath, her eyes darken as sadness fills them. “Jess, about West, I’m so sorry.”

  I shake my head frantically. “Please, I can’t talk about any of it. It’s not going to help me get over the guys if I continue to talk about them.”

  “Get over them?” Luna questions, confusion etched in every word as her forehead crinkles with a frown.

  “I can’t do as my mother demands if I allow myself to continue to feel for them, Luna.”

  “But, Rafe is going to find your dad, Jess, and then it won’t be an issue anymore.”

  Placing my plate on the coffee table, I refuse to eat anymore. The little bit of an appetite I had is completely gone now.

  “That will take time, Luna. Time I haven’t got if I don’t want Reece to go running to my mother because I refuse her life choices for me, which will result in my father’s death.”

  “Do you love them?” Luna whispers, her eyes searching mine encouragingly.

  “It doesn’t matter anymore,” I respond, barely a whisper, but Luna squeezes my hand and cups the back of my neck with her other hand. My heart thumps in my ears as I try to swallow past the lump in my throat.

  “It’s the only thing that matters, Red. Answer me, honestly.”

  Squeezing my eyes shut, I nod ever so slightly, unable to speak the words.

  “Then we will figure this shit out,” Juliana adds, stroking a hand down my back. “But for now, you need to rest. So, press play Luna, and let’s get our vamp on.”

  This is what having a mother and a sister feels like.

  My phone vibrates in my lap, and a quick glance down shows my mother’s name flashing across the screen, my heart sinking instantly.

  Mother: Reece said you have been avoiding him. That is unacceptable. You are engaged. Act like it.

  Fuck.

  Nothing is ever going to be enough to get me out of her grasp. No matter what, my mother is always going to be able to control me. I may as well give in to that fact now.

  I need to get used to this reality. It doesn’t matter that we want to fix it, that is only relevant when we do solve the situation, but that isn’t right now. My feelings and emotions don’t even factor into this equation anymore.

  Sighing, I type out a message, my heart wrenching with every tap.

  Me: Reece, I’ll play along. But I’m going to stay in Ace.

  Hitting send, I watch as my message is opened instantly, and the three little dots at the bottom of my screen taunt me.

  Reece: That’s my wifey, but there is no playing. You can stay there, for now. Tell them fuckers to let me out of this room.

  “Is Reece still in Ace?” I ask, glancing to Luna, who nods instantly in response.

  “You have to let him out,” I murmur. “As I said to Aiden, I have to play by their rules. No matter what we sit here and say, until we are in more control of the situation, this is my only option.”

  “Jess, it isn’t, I swear.”

  Wrapping my arms around myself, I glance between the two of them. “I know my mother, letting her think she is in control will make a huge difference to keeping her off my back.”

  “You have spent enough of your life with people dictating to you, I don’t want you to do this, but I understand you are your own person. So, tell me how we do that?” Juliana asks with a sigh, defeat in her eyes knowing I’m going to do this my way.

  “I give them what they want.”

  Jess

  Reece: I’m outside waiting.

  I wish you weren’t.

  Tightening my ponytail, I look myself over in the mirror once more. My face is no longer swollen, and my make-up does well to hide the yellow bruising on my face.

  It’s been a little over a week since I had my life flipped upside down, and today is my first day back at classes. It took a lot of repeated explaining to Reece and my mother about my injuries, and the impact it had on my attending class. But my feet were so bad I could barely stand, nevermind actually fitting them into shoes.

  Now, most of the pain is gone, and I can slip my feet into the heels as expected by the Featherstone Academy dress code.

  I can do this. I can fucking do this.

  “You don’t have to do this, you know,” Luna murmurs from behind me, and I nod in acknowledgment, scared my words will betray me.

  Clearing my throat, I respond. “I do, Luna. My life is very different from what I actually want it to be right now, but I shouldn’t have gotten my hopes up to begin with.”

  I can see her clench her hands at her sides as she bites back her retort. We’ve had this same conversation every day, and I answer her the same every time.

  “Are you sure you want to start back at classes today? Your nightmare last night was pretty bad and had you up for hours.”

  My body stiffens with the reminder. I can’t even think about the nightmares playing on repeat in my mind. I don’t even want to talk about it. It only makes the visions more vivid.

  “It’s all good.”

  “Well, do you want me to come with you?” She asks, moving towards her boots by the door, but I shake my head.

  “No, it’s okay. Reece is downstairs.”

  Her back stiffens instantly as she whips around to stare at me.

  “I don’t fucking trust him, Red,” she growls, and I don’t blame her, but this is how it is.

  Stepping towards her, I squeeze her arm. “I’m not asking you to trust him. I have you on speed dial, and don’t think I don’t know you’ve already spoken to Kai about hacking the security cameras in the L.F.G. class to keep an eye on me.”

  She rolls her eyes at me before pulling me in for a hug. “I’m trying so hard to not overpower you, honestly. As much as I don’t believe this is the right course of action, I know you need to make these decisions for yourself. But just know, I’m working my ass off to figure this shit out. Understand?”

  “Thank you,” I whisper, hugging her a little tighter.

  Forcing myself to release my hold on her, I grab my bag and head for the door.

  “I’ve set the ‘track my phone’ app up so I can see where you are,” Luna blurts out, just as my hand wraps around the door handle.

  “I know,” I admit, looking over my shoulder at her, and she gapes at me in surprise. “I don’t want my life to be dictated. I didn’t say I don’t want you to care. You just have a crazy way of doing it, Captain.” I offer her a comforting smile before shutting the door behind me.

  She can at least go and spend some time with her guys, since I’ve stolen her for the past week. She has been my rock, and the Aces have been so understanding. Especially since I have refused to let anyone else in my room. More so to ensure I don’t see Aiden, Maverick, or West. That’ll only cut me deeper.

  I already feel like I can’t breathe knowing Aiden is going to be in L.F.G.

  Stepping into the elevator, the doors closing behind me, I find myself walking through the lobby all too quickly, Reece standing just outside of the Ace entry.

  My heart starts to beat rapidly in my chest. My fight or flight instincts are kicking in, and I think I’m going to be sick.

  “Let’s go, wifey,” he grunts, his eye
s touching every part of my body, making my skin crawl.

  “I don’t know why you’re standing around here. We’ll be going in separate vehicles,” I mumble, not stopping as I head for the Rolls Royce waiting for me.

  “I know, I just wanted to make sure you showed. Wait for me outside the building,” Reece murmurs, getting closer as his hand brushes against my ass, and I jerk under the touch.

  Biting my tongue, I don’t say a word as I climb into the back of the car. Since I’m the only person from Ace with L.F.G., I always make this journey alone.

  I pray for the car ride to take as long as possible, fidgeting the whole way as a sweat breaks across my brow.

  As the car comes to a stop, I reluctantly climb out. Slowly. Feeling a few pairs of eyes on me as other students linger outside, I consider heading inside without Reece, but as soon as the thought enters my mind, he’s at my side.

  “Let’s go, wifey.” Wrapping his hand around mine in a deathly grip, he pulls me along to the entrance of the academic building, not caring that I’m in heels marching up the stone steps.

  “Can you not call me that?” I grumble, but he just tsks at me.

  “Whatever I say goes, remember?” He gloats, and I keep my mouth shut, trying to play the ragdoll Reece and my mother expect me to be.

  I hear whispers around me as people stare at us, and I’m thankful it isn’t a more popular class. I don’t need that kind of drama and attention.

  Walking into the L.F.G. classroom, Reece pulls me towards his usual spot. The room is simple in its layout with tables for two lining the space. Everything we do here is research related, so the room doesn’t require anything more.

  My shoulders sag in relief a little when I notice Aiden isn’t here yet. As Reece pulls me down into the seat beside him, draping his arm over the back of my chair, I know it won’t be good when Aiden arrives anyway.

  As if hearing his name, he steps through the door with Trudy beside him, and his eyes instantly find mine. I watch as the emotions play out across his face.

  Shock.

  Hurt.

  Anger.

  Determination.

  In a blink of an eye, he’s storming towards us, and I can hear my heart pulsing in my ears. I told him I would do this. I told him it was over. I haven’t responded to a single voicemail or text from any of them. My hope is ghosting them would get the message across, but clearly, I was wrong.