“How interesting.”
“My houseparent Melanie called it emotional vomiting.”
Anali wrinkled her nose and smiled.
“Anyway, these guys don’t have any excuses. They got together, talked, and decided I was a bad person who lies to them and puts them in danger.” I said, glancing at the bathroom door again.
“So the fact that the holidays are coming and they won’t be with their families couldn’t be putting them on edge?” Anali asked. “Or the fact that you're their leader, you keep them together, and you’ve found someone else to spend your time with? Not that I blame you. Sasha lost his father, perhaps forever, and only got to see his mother for one night. And Miu wants to be your best friend so badly, it hurts her when you leave her out of things.”
Frowning, I looked out the window. “Yeah, okay. I can see how they could have been emotionally venting and didn’t completely mean the things they said.”
“They told me about your idea to be more like a family.”
“Yeah, that worked out well,” I muttered.
Anali laughed. “It did actually. Other than the fight, they felt like you cared about them. They felt listened to.”
The steam stopped flooding from under the bathroom door. “So what do you want me to do?”
Anali reached out and took my hand. “I want you to have fun today. I want you to know that they're truly sorry and feel guilty for how they handled things. I want you to know they feel stressed out and are missing their families.”
“How do you know this and I don’t?”
“I’ve been empathic longer than you and I know how to read the emotion under what they are projecting. I wasn’t upset, so my own emotions didn’t get in the way. You work very hard to block out other people’s emotions, because you feel them more intensely than I do.”
I nodded. Most of the time I only felt what skimmed across my empathic bubble. Rarely did I search beneath the surface of what people felt. “Wouldn’t it be wrong of me to read people’s emotions at that level? I mean it seems like it would be invading their privacy.”
“You have to figure that out for yourself. I am able to sense the layers of emotions and when needed, I look deeper. You are their friend, but also their leader,” Anali said.
“I don’t want to become overwhelmed by their emotions. I’m not sure how to sense theirs and not everyone else’s, and I don’t want them mad at me because I’m invading their privacy.”
Anali squeezed my hand. “We can talk about this more later, and I am willing to help you. For today try to have a good time. Families fight, then they forgive each other.”
“Okay, I’ll try, but I reserve the right to fake it to keep Miu happy.”
Anali kissed the top of my head. “Okay Sapphire, have a good day.”
The front door shut as Miu opened the bathroom door. “I’ll be ready in five minutes.”
I shook my head—that meant ten minutes. It didn’t matter, I was ready. “Hurry up. I want my surprise.”
Miu’s smile was worth exaggerating the truth.
* * *
Something was wrong. I rode the elevator up, stopping at every floor hoping to get an idea of where to go. I wanted to nap. My day with Miu had worn me out.
The door opened to the tenth floor. A soft cry. A gasp for air. Walking towards the sounds, I lowered my shield a little. Sorrow, guilt, and an odd sense of peace floated on the air like a fog. Looking into all the shadowy places, I walked down the hallway. Around the corner, Taliesin knelt on the floor holding the hand of a woman who was gasping for breath, her lips blue and her eyes wide.
“Taliesin, have you called for help?” How did he always find these people? First Argentina, the guy in Mexico, and now here.
He shook his head, his white hair swaying.
I knelt next to him. A silver blue star glowed on his forehead where his horn would be in unicorn form. Tears filled his eyes, and his jaw was clenched tight.
“Taliesin?”
“You can go and get help, but she’ll probably be gone by then,” he whispered his voice rough.
“Should we try CPR?” I asked. Michael had made the whole troupe take First Aid/CPR when we started touring. I remembered hoping I’d never have to use it.
Taliesin tightened his grip as she convulsed. “No, this is what she wants.”
“Okay.” I took his free hand. His magic felt fierce and demanding.
The woman’s eyes seemed to focus on the ceiling, but I doubted that’s what she was seeing. I gasped at the burst of shame and guilt coming from her. Her breath came in short rattling pants. The space between them grew longer with each one. When the next one didn’t come, I held my breath. The life faded from her body. Everything went limp. And the emotions faded like smoke in the wind.
“Oh,” I said, wiping tears from my eyes. “She just …oh.”
Taliesin lay the woman’s hand on her stomach. “Thank you for staying with me.”
“Of course, you needed me,” I said. “But what happened? Is it a unicorn thing to know when someone is going to die? When they need comfort?”
Taliesin’s laugh sent a shiver along my spine. “No, nothing quite so noble. We should probably tell someone.”
“I’ll go to the front desk and let them know.”
He nodded.
As I rode the elevator, I sent Philip a text, asking him for the book he wrote on royal magical creatures. It was time I studied unicorns.
* * *
“Are you sure?” I asked, pushing the button for the elevator with my manicured and polished fingernail. Miu had taken me to get our fingernails and toenails done as one of my gifts. Miu’s nails were done in a powder pink glitter polish with rhinestone tips and Hello Kitty painted onto each ring finger. Mine were classic red, a much brighter color than I normally do.
Taliesin rolled his eyes. “Yes. I’m ignoring it for tonight. We got through all the questions from the manager, and then the show, and now it’s time to go to your party.”
“If you’re sure. Because we can cancel it or go later if you need to talk?” Taliesin felt like he’d surrounded himself in glass with his emotions locked away.
“If you don’t want to go, that’s fine. But I’m going, and I’m going to have fun and relax and pretend none of this happened.” He smoothed his wrinkle-free royal blue shirt. He had left the first few buttons undone. His milk white skin glowed against the vibrant silk, and you could see the curve of his muscular chest. Charcoal gray slacks were fitted tight and made his ass look rather spectacular. “Anyway, you dressed nice enough that I’m willing to be seen with you in public. You don’t want to waste that rare opportunity.”
I shoved him. “You're such a brat.”
He chuckled.
“Are we ready?” asked Kayin. Shin was going to drool. Kayin wore black jeans that showed his muscles moving under the fabric, and a fitted, cream silk shirt that clung to his body. I hoped he knew what he was getting himself into.
Sasha followed behind him, black slacks molded to his thighs and probably butt. I’d check later. The thin plum cashmere sweater did nothing to hide the muscle underneath. “Where’s Miu?”
“She went ahead to make sure everything was perfect,” I said. “I think she took the hula hoop and the diabolo girls with her. You both look lovely.”
“I can’t believe Gavin is letting you out in that dress,” Kayin said. “You look sexy.”
“Well, Anali might have seen me first then pretended to feel sick before Gavin saw me.”
“That explains it,” Sasha said, looking me over. “There is no way he’d let you leave looking like that.”
I was going to take that as a compliment. The elevator doors opened.
“So Gavin rented us a car?” Kayin asked.
Taliesin snorted. “He rented limos.”
“What?” Why would he do something that extravagant? “A limo really?”
“Several,” Sasha said. “Enough for the whole troupe so
that everyone would get back to the hotel safely.”
“Oh, well. That was thoughtful.” I put on my coat as the elevator door opened and we walked into the cold night. Squeezing into the limo, I wound up sitting on Kayin’s lap with my legs over Taliesin so we could all squeeze in with the acrobats.
We heard the music from the club before we even opened the door. The bouncer, a stocky muscular man with tattoos decorating his deep brown skin, pointed up to the metal spiral staircase. This took us to a loft space where we could look onto the rest of the club. There was a long table covered in food and pitchers of drinks. On a smaller table were gifts and cards. Miu had decorated the whole place in purple and green streamers and balloons. There was even a banner that said Happy 16th Birthday Sapphire! When did she have time to make a banner?
“Happy birthday,” Miu said, her arms wide.
“Thank you. This is amazing, and you look wonderful.”
Miu twirled. She wore a golden yellow silk dress with a black patent leather belt and Mary Jane pumps with rhinestone Hello Kitty buckles.
“Thank you. So come on and enjoy yourself. We have food, drinks, a space for dancing, and plenty of tables and chairs to relax.” Miu grabbed my arm. “You look hot in that dress. Are you hungry?”
I laughed. “Starving.”
“When is Ramsey getting here?”
“I don’t know. He has a gig, then he’ll come afterward.” I filled up a plate with french fries—chips here, I suppose—egg rolls, mac ‘n’ cheese, mini mushroom and cheese pies, and some sandwiches. There was more to choose from but my plate was full. “So, is there a master plan or wild unorganized fun?”
“I figure two hours for people to eat, dance, and socialize, then presents and cake.”
I sat at a table overlooking the dance floor and stage. “Sounds good, although aren’t people always hungry for cake?”
Miu chuckled. “Probably. Looks like they are setting up for a band. I didn’t know there would be live music. I hope they’re good.”
“Looking at the crowd gathering near the stage I’d say they are. Good food,” I said biting into a pie.
“Brandon’s aunt was so helpful.” Miu bit her bottom lip. “You really like it?”
“I think it’s great. I never imagined it would be this big. Look at everyone—they're having so much fun.” The whole troupe was there, filling their plates, toes tapping, and shoulders bopping. As soon as bellies were full, the dance floor would be full of gyrating bodies. “And what is with that pile of gifts? I thought I said no gifts.”
Miu raised her hands. “I said no gifts. It’s not my fault no one listens to me.”
I sniffed but grinned. “It’s very sweet of everyone, but what could they have gotten me?”
“Aren’t gift supposed to be a surprise?” Kayin asked as he sat.
“That is the way normal people go about it,” added Sasha.
“Well,” I said, before Taliesin could add to the supposedly funny comments. “For the past few years I’ve always known what my gifts were going to be. It’s been years since I was surprised by a birthday gift.”
“Tonight that changes,” said Miu.
“Good evening, ladies and gentleman. Before I introduce the band, I want to say happy sixteenth birthday to Sapphire.”
The crowd and all my friends cheered. My cheeks heated up to the point I was worried I’d be red all night.
“And now tonight’s band: the Water Nymphs.”
“What?” My gasp was drown out under the crowds cheering. I glared at Ramsey, and, even though I doubted he could see me, he grinned up where I was.
“Isn’t that Ramsey?” Shin asked as he sat next to Kayin, stealing an egg roll from his plate.
“He said he was performing close by, not that he was performing here,” I said.
“Hurry up and eat,” Shin said. “Those of us who don’t take as much time to look stunning are ready to dance.”
“Are you saying I wasn’t worth waiting for?”
Shin grinned at me. “Honey, you look so lovely I almost wish I was straight.”
* * *
Women don’t sweat, we glisten. After dancing pressed against every member of the circus at least once, I was glistening a lot. It had started out as a big friendly dance fest. Now people were started to pair off or trying to pair off. I moved between people to grab a cup of water from the table. I watched my friends dancing. Several of the guys took off their shirts and were dancing in muscle shirts which clung to their bodies. I leaned on the railing and watched the band—well, okay Ramsey—play. I wasn’t the only one watch him in his kilt and black tee shirt.
There were many people in the crowd focused not on the band, but on us dancing. I wondered how many of the troupe would decide to go on to the main dance floor and pick someone up. I hoped the wave of anger from the men at the bar who were glaring at us wouldn’t cause trouble for anyone later. They looked nice enough from up here, but they were normal guys and for lustful club thoughts and hopes, our muscular circus bodies caught more attention.
“Having fun?” Kayin asked, his chest heaving.
“Yes, you?”
“I am. Dancing is fun.”
“I saw you and Shin dancing earlier.” I smiled as he looked away.
“Well, we were dancing close but not together, we were part of a group.” His nervousness prickled against me.
I sighed, poor Kayin he was still confused about what to do. Then I saw something that might help him make up his mind. I pointed to the dance floor. “Looks like you won’t have to worry about it anymore.”
Hot jealousy flared from Kayin as he watched Shin dancing with one of the Russian pole performers, Derrik. Their bodies were pressed together and Derrik’s hand was on Shin's butt. “He shouldn’t dance with him like that.”
“Why not?” I asked. Kayin stood taller as his jaw clenched. “Is he yours? Because if he’s not yours, he can dance with whoever he wants to.”
I gripped the railing as the mad swirl of Kayin’s emotions made me dizzy.
“I just don’t know.”
“You can waste your life waiting to know for sure. Waiting for a sign, or to know without a doubt.” I said, repeating the words my mother wrote in my journal. “There is no certainty in life. Weigh the pros and cons, make lists, listen to your mind, your heart, and your gut. But in the end you have to act, you have to do something. You have to make a decision and move forward in your life. For good or bad, you must choose.”
“Your mother?” Kayin asked his eyes still fixed on Shin.
“Yes.”
“I’m scared.”
I held his hand. “Of course you are, Big Brother. That’s normal, that’s life. Are you going to let it stop you?”
Kayin took a deep breath, squeezed my hand and walked over to Shin. He tapped Derrik on the shoulder, cutting in a like a gentleman. Those BBC period dramas taught him proper manners. Derrik left, and Shin stood there. Kayin moved closer and slid his arms around Shin’s shoulders, his hands shaking. Shin moved closer and started to dance. It wasn’t as raunchy as with the other guy, but a hundred times sexier.
“Thank god that worked,” Miu said.
“What? Did you set that up?” I didn’t think Shin would play with Kayin like that.
“Just Derrik hitting on Shin.”
“What if Kayin hadn’t reacted?” I asked.
“Derrik is easy. He wouldn’t have cared how it worked out.”
I wrinkled my nose.
“Yeah, not my thing either. And I didn’t think Shin would go off with him even if Kayin chickened out. But I had to do something. The longing looks and sad sighs, I couldn’t take any more of it.” Miu grinned.
A slow song began. Kayin and Shin curled around each other swaying to the melody of Ramsey’s cello.
“Did they finally get everything figured out?” Nyota asked.
“With some help from Miu,” I said. “You look hot.”
Nyota wore a pair of r
ed satin pants and a lacy black bustier. I don’t think I’ve actually ever seen a heaving bosom before. Red and black beads were draped over her creamy brown skin drawing even more attention to the heaving. Her dreadlocks wove a complicated braid which fell down her back.
“Thanks. My poor dad took a moment before he relaxed and remembered I’m twenty-four and not fourteen.”
“He looks like he’s having fun.”
Michael was dancing with a group.
“Your dad is a good dancer,” Miu said as he broke out some disco moves.
“Well,” I said laughing. “At least he does those moves well.”
Nyota shook her head. “Oh well, he wouldn’t be a dad if he didn’t embarrass me sometimes.”
“You’ve been a great audience,” said Solange. “Thank you for coming out tonight, we’ll be selling CDs for a bit at the back table.”
“Okay, everyone,” Miu called out while the club was—well, not silent but there was no music blaring. “Let’s do cake and presents.”
She made it sound like I was five. I hope people didn’t fight over the icing roses.
The staff brought out a cake that looked like it belonged on one of those cooking shows. It was three tiers covered in bright blue icing with purple irises. They looked so real that it took me a minute to realize they were made of icing. There were sparkling rhinestones that I assumed we could eat, because they were scattered all over the cake.
Miu lit the candles, my face heated up, and I wondered how Miu knew irises were my favorite flower? I couldn’t remember ever talking about it. I blew out the candles, and my wish was that someone else would cut the cake as I didn’t even know where to start. Wish answered. The server came back and handed me a slice with a large purple iris on top. Inside it was chocolate with a dark shiny chocolate filling that tasted like soft fudge. My eyes fluttered as I took a bite.
“Lucky cake.”
I opened my eyes to see Ramsey standing in front of me.
“You are in trouble.”
He placed his hand on his chest and fluttered his own eyelashes.
“Me, whatever did I do?”
“You didn’t tell me your gig was here,” I said, trying to glare. I couldn’t help but smile, a closed-lip smile in case I had chocolate in my teeth.
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