Permanent Lines

by Ashley Wilcox

  After Rich put his romantic thoughts in my head, my mood dampened. I kept finding myself staring at the stool Amelia sat in the night of our race. Dammit, if I could go back to that night … What I would give to live that day again—what I would’ve done differently. But would it have mattered? Would she have disappeared anyway?

  Micah came up beside me. “Hey, you all right, man?”

  I looked at him blankly, handing him the bottle of vodka in my hand. “Can you cover for a second?” I asked. “I need a breather.”

  He looked at me in question for a moment before taking the bottle. “Yeah … sure,” he said.

  I could tell he wanted to know what was up, but I wasn’t saying a damn thing more. I walked by him with long strides, making my way to the stairwell of my apartment, taking a seat on the bottom stair and shutting the door. I sat there with my head in my hands, unable to control my wandering mind.

  “What’s your favorite color?” I had asked Amelia before taking a sip of my coffee that next morning.

  “That’s random,” she’d pointed out, grinning.

  I shrugged my shoulders. “Just something I don’t know.”

  “Brown.”

  I nodded my head with an impressed grin. I knew she wasn’t going to say some girly color like pink or purple or some shit like that. Amelia wasn’t your typical girl.

  “What?” she asked.

  “I thought you were going to say pink,” I lied.

  Her eyebrows scrunched. “Pink?”

  “That is the color on the side of your dirt bike trailer,” I pointed out.

  “That was my dad’s doing—I had nothing to do with that!”

  “Hey!” I held up my hands defensively. “Calm down, killer.” I smiled.

  She chuckled. “My dad still sees me as his little girl all dressed in pink and playing with Barbies.”

  “What’s wrong with playing with Barbies?” I asked, confused. “People don’t play with those anymore?”

  She laughed again, shaking her head. “Shit, are you a closet Barbie fan?” she asked, mock-horrified.

  “Hey, there is absolutely nothing wrong with peeking underneath that hot pink bathing suit and keeping one, maybe two, around for kicks,” I said, trying to hold onto my seriousness.

  “That’s weird.”

  I laughed. “Yeah, that did sound a little creeptastic, didn’t it?”

  “You’re lucky you’re hot, because that may have made me fake having to go to the bathroom and slip out the back door instead.”

  “I’m hot?” I asked with a raised brow.

  She shrugged her shoulders and held up her thumb and forefinger, making a tiny space between them. “A little.”

  “I told you you’d want me,” I flirted.

  “It’s the tattoos,” she said dryly, but with a sweet ass smirk too.

  I nodded my head slightly. “Sure it is.” I winked, making her cheeks grow a little pink.

  She smiled. “I have no clue what you’re talking about.”

  I rubbed my face before nailing the door in front of me. Dammit! Why did she have to be so perfect? And so fucking simple? She was effortless to be with … Everything … everything about her was easy.

  I walked back out to the bar. I was done thinking about her. I grabbed the bottle of tequila that Micah just finished with and poured a shot, downing it immediately.

  “You good?” Micah asked.

  “Yeah,” I replied. “Go ahead,” I waved for him to go back to what he was doing, “I’m good here now.”

  Micah clapped me on the back and grabbed a new towel, snapping me in the arm with it before tucking it in his back pocket. “Smile, then, asshole. Make us some good tips.”

  I picked the tip jar up from beside the register. “Yeah, no shit, because you obviously didn’t.” I angled it in his direction so he could see inside of it.

  He held up his hands while he backed away. “They all wanted a sizzle from the dizzle!”

  I shook my head, throwing a dirty rag at him. “You’re such a fuckin’ tool,” I said, unable to hide the amusement in my voice.

  His grin grew, laughing. “Good stuff, isn’t it?” he kidded.

  “Get to fuckin’ work or you ain’t gettin’ shit.”

  With all thoughts of Amelia in the back of my head, I kept my eye at the end of the bar, periodically winking and smirking at the blonde. After a few drinks, she stood from the stool she had been sitting on, joining her girlfriends on the makeshift dance floor that somehow always appeared on busy nights, shaking her ass to whatever song came over the stereo system.

  Shit, was it hard to look away once she started doing that. With every free second I had, I found my eyes veering to where she was. Her curves … damn, they were heaven. I wasn’t a fan of stick girls, and she definitely wasn’t one of them. I liked having something to grab, to hold onto. Bony girls were uncomfortable and I was always afraid I’d break them. I liked ones I could get rough and roll around in the sack with.

  By the fourth song, she sauntered back towards the bar, looking a little tipsy, so I had a water waiting. Hooking up with drunk-ass girls wasn’t my thing.

  Her eyebrow lifted as soon as she saw me set down the water.

  “Looks like you need it,” I told her once she was close enough to hear me.

  She looked at me, offended. “Are you cutting me off?”

  I shook my head slowly, my eyes wavering down her body, studying her curves, my acknowledgment less than subtle this time. “I was watching you.”

  She looked at me intrigued. “Yeah?”

  “I liked it.” My eyes stayed on hers, showing my seriousness along with my interest. “And I wouldn’t want you to get dehydrated,” her eyes squinted and head tilted slightly, confused, “or not aware of tonight.”

  Her tongue slid across her lips when the light bulb began to light in her head. “Or maybe you just need to catch up?” she suggested.

  My mind temporarily swayed, thinking back to the last time I had … No, I couldn’t go down that road. I shook the thought from my head, pulling two shot glasses from underneath the bar and filling them both with more tequila. Her grin grew as she lifted her shot. I ran my eyes from her assets back to her face, holding the shot in my hand up to click with hers.

  “To a fun night,” she said, her eyes glossed and seductive.

  “We’ll see,” I winked before tossing the shot back.

  She snickered with a sexy ass grin before turning to walk away, joining her friends back on the floor. My eyes followed her, focused on her fucking beautiful ass, all Jennifer Lopez plump. Naturally, I wet my lips with my tongue and pictured my hands gripping it later. It was definitely going to be a good night.

  It was just a few minutes until closing when the crowd started to filter out. I’d already announced last call almost a half hour ago, generating most people’s departures. Between Micah and myself, the bar was already pretty much cleaned and stocked, the dirty glasses from the current lingerers still left. The girl, Kara, was pressed up against a high table sipping on her latest drink, giggling and talking to her friends.

  At exactly 2:00 a.m., I pulled the plug on the stereo and flipped the sign on the door to “closed,” getting rid of the last of the patrons. As planned, on my way back to the bar, I stopped at Kara’s table, where the girls were quietly discussing their plans. My eyes immediately found Kara’s.

  “You sticking around?”

  “I’d planned to,” she responded, her words a purr.

  I nodded, pleased with her answer. I was feeling slightly buzzed and judging by her stance and the way she was carrying herself, she was the same, not drunk like I had earlier insinuated she not be. The cards were falling perfectly. Thank goodness. I needed tonight for more reasons than one.

  “I just have a couple of things to finish up, but then we can head out.” My smile was charismatic, the excitement of bringing her upstairs to my apartment starting to hum through my body. This was good. It was gonna be fantas
tic.

  Her lips found the straw of her drink while her eyes slanted up to mine, displaying her long ass eyelashes. She really was fucking beautiful. “K,” she agreed.

  The adrenaline was pumping and my heart was beating out of my chest, alive. I didn’t respond, just grinned before walking over to help Micah with the last of the glasses and to wipe down the bar once more.

  “You lucky son of bitch,” he discreetly said to me once I was only a foot or so away.

  I snickered, nodding my head towards the other girls. “There’s still some left.”

  He looked down to the sink with almost a bashful grin. “Nah, I’m good.”

  I looked at him in question. “What? Since when?”

  He looked up, almost lost in thought, debating his answer.

  “What the fuck, dude? You’re seriously not going to tell me?” I asked, borderline annoyed. Micah and I have been best friends since kids. We always knew who each other was crushing, fucking, or just plain friends with.

  “Maddy,” was all he said, and that’s the only knowledge I needed. Maddy was my best friend’s younger sister. She and Kayla (yes, my BFF is a girl) were always at my races and hung out with Micah and the guys while I was out on the track.

  “Maddy?” I questioned, completely in shock. I had no clue he liked her or even saw her in that way.

  He nodded his head in agreement, a grin appearing on his face. “Yeah, I actually think I love her.”

  I shook my head, still not grasping this new revelation. “Maddy?” I said again, still in disbelief. “Really?”

  “Dude, really.”

  “Wow. Well, good for you guys, buddy,” I said before patting him on the shoulder, genuinely happy for them. Maddy was a nice girl and actually, once I thought about it, perfect for Micah. They were both slightly reserved, but with good heads on their shoulders, integrity, and hearts of gold. I’d never have matched them up if given the opportunity, but I guess when I thought about it, they really worked.

  “Does Kayla know this?” I asked now, wondering who knew, especially Kayla, who I was sure would have a field day with this information.

  He shook his head, biting down on his bottom lip nervously. “No, no one knows. So keep your mouth shut.”

  I knew Kayla couldn’t have known even though I asked the question. She would’ve been on my doorstep within seconds had she found out. Kayla wasn’t uptight, actually far from it, but after some shit went down with her sister and Kayla’s ex, Kayla had a close grip on Maddy, watching out for her every move, making sure that no one hurt her sister again—protective was an understatement.

  “My lips are sealed,” I told him. “But I’m not going to lie if she asks.”

  He glared at me, his irritation evident.

  “Dude, it’s Kayla!” I reiterated. “I tell the girl everything. I’m not about to lie to her.”

  Micah’s shoulders relaxed and his jaw loosened, realizing what he was asking and knowing it wouldn’t be feasible. Kayla’s and my relationship was never normal, and to an outsider they would probably think that something was there, but it had never been that way—she was actually engaged to be married to the wealthiest man in Manhattan. She was the closest thing I had to family and someone I could relate to on more levels than one. We just clicked … instant best friends.

  “Yeah, I know,” he said somberly, still washing dishes as I wiped and listened. “I actually don’t care. It’s Maddy; she’s worried Kayla’s gonna go ape.”

  I tilted my head back and forth, contemplating what Kayla would really think. “I don’t know,” I began, “she might be cool with it. She knows you’re not some fuck-up or an ass just looking for a quick fuck.”

  He shrugged it off. “Eh, we’ll see.”

  Fifteen minutes later the bar was cleaned, the stools flipped up onto the tables to do a quick mop of the place. Kara’s friends had already left, waving goodbye. One gave me a stern look, making sure I knew not to hurt her friend. I nodded in acknowledgment, letting her know as much as I could from across the bar that I was a decent guy—just a typical one.

  I threw my dirty rag in the laundry bag hanging on the back of the kitchen door before Micah clasped my shoulder and told me to go ahead; he could get the rest.

  “Thanks, buddy,” I replied before meeting Kara at the end of the bar where she was waiting.

  My devilish grin was on my face as I approached her, grabbing her hand to lead us to the back staircase to my apartment. Her hand was small and delicate and incredibly smooth as I caressed the top with my thumb.

  The sexual tension that I held on to all evening watching Kara shake her ass on the floor was alive and I was ready to burst, making me push her against the inside of the door once we stepped inside. Our lips immediately locked and our tongues slipped inside each other’s mouth, wrapping and caressing aggressively.

  My hands held firmly on her waist while hers found the hem of my shirt, pulling it up and over my head. The girl was focused and to the point; I liked how she worked. She was exactly what I needed right then. Her lips slid to the side of my face while her hands started to work the top of my pants.

  “Where’s your room?” she whispered seductively in my ear, making my cock rise with excitement.

  Responding with action instead of words, I picked her up, letting her legs wrap around my waist. Her mouth was back on mine, moving at a pace I wasn’t sure I could keep up with as I walked us to the back of the apartment, pushing open the door to my room with my foot.

  Grasping the fact that this girl probably liked it rough, I tossed her down on the bed so that she was on her back looking up at me. Immediately, she pulled her dress up the length of her body then over her head, revealing red, sexy as hell lace panties and a matching bra. Just with the image alone, her platinum hair draped over her tanned skin, my cock grew impossibly harder.

  I watched her move onto her knees and crawled to where I was standing at the end of the bed, looking up at me with her tongue pressed against her upper teeth as she finished what she started with my jeans, letting them fall to the floor after. Her hand cupped my balls and cock through my boxers, getting a grip on what I had to work with. I wasn’t about to toot my own horn, but God had blessed me with a sizable package—this I knew and was by no means shy to admit.

  My eyes drifted shut, lulled by the comfort and sensation her hand provided, imagining in my head what that beautiful mouth and aggressive tongue could do wrapped around my length. I didn’t have to wait much longer to find out—seconds later her hands slid inside the seams and my boxers were off no more than a second later.

  Kara’s mouth was warm and held tight around my cock, taking the tip to the back of her throat easily. The feeling was overwhelming and so damn good. I could only allow her to take a few strokes more before I gently moved her face back and brought her mouth back up to mine—I wasn’t going to lose my shit this early in the game. Our tongues and lips moved again synchronously and assertively together. Slowly I inched her back to the mattress, letting my body cover hers.

  My hand gripped her tit as my mouth skimmed her ear then down her neck, sliding my tongue to the top of her chest. Kara’s back arched and she moaned erratically, making the need to be inside her grow even more. Pleasurable moans killed me every fucking time, pushing me to the brink of ending foreplay, and onto getting much more.

  My hands slid down her sides and over her curves, slipping beneath the elastic of her panties. Her hips lifted slightly, allowing me to push them down and off. I reached to the drawer of my nightstand, pulling out a condom before sitting back on my heels to slide it over my length. It was in that moment that I froze, questioning what the fuck I was doing as a picture of a different woman popped into my head.

  Amelia.

  I closed my eyes, trying to erase it. Amelia was just a girl, a girl that left me high and dry with no word or anything after. She was nothing to me. I tried to focus on Kara, all tits and ass in front of me, but it was no use. Amelia was there,
lying on my bed, naked for my eyes only—the most beautiful girl I’d ever seen.

  Dammit!

  I dropped my chin to my chest, pissed off at myself. I couldn’t believe I was letting her get to me, allowing her to consume my brain again when I had a hot, willing, and ready female spread eagle in front of me. But I couldn’t. I couldn’t think about anything but her. It was her … again …

  I chucked the condom across the room before looking down at Kara, who was confused as all hell, propped up on her elbows with an adorable wrinkle between her eyes.

  “I’m sorry,” I told her, shaking my head in frustration, “I can’t do this.”

  She didn’t reply as I got to my feet, grabbing my boxers from the floor and slipping them on. I reached for her discarded dress on the side of the bed, handing her the tight black number before making sure she knew that it had nothing to do with her.

  “I’ve just got some personal shit going on that I need to get over first,” I explained, feeling like a prize asshole.

  She seemed okay with it as she slipped the black material over her head.

  “Yeah, no—whatever,” she answered, blankness in her tone.

  I had a feeling she wasn’t used to rejection and I felt bad since that was exactly what I was doing to her. Truly, the girl was fucking hardcore amazing—I’d have been all over her shit if it weren’t for Amelia. But Goddammit, Amelia controlled me every fucking day. I couldn’t fucking handle it anymore. The girl ruined me. I was going out of my motherfucking mind!

  I called Kara a taxi before walking her down and out front as it pulled up to the sidewalk. “Have a good night,” I said and kissed her on her cheek before holding the back door open for her to leave.

  She didn’t answer, only gave me a tight, forced grin instead. I think it’s safe to say that I wouldn’t be seeing her again. And until I got my shit straight with Amelia, it was probably a good idea anyway.