Promise Me This

by Kristi Rose

  Darcy nodded. “I aided and abetted.” He clapped his friend on the shoulder. “You are not the only one.”

  Chapter Four

  From the journal of Jane Bennet

  November 2017

  * * *

  Someone once told me it's the people we love that hurt us the most. This statement frustrated me to no end. Of course they hurt us the most, it's because we love them is why. That's a no-brainer. Only recently did I learn the full depth of the statement. The pain is not solely because we love them, but from the surprise of being hurt by someone we love and trust. We never expect the person who loves us to do anything that would cause us pain, physical or emotional. And on purpose. Yet, they do.

  Mother.

  Yesterday in her article she outed me. And she didn't even bother with the professional courtesy of notifying me of her story ahead of time. I had to find out by putting the pieces together such as: lots of emails in my work account, Anne telling us that the system crashed due to high volume, and several attempts to join Meryton Matchmakers. I say attempts because once Kitty emailed those that signed up online and told the call-ins that I was not a client they bailed.

  Stupid videos. For the life of me I don't understand the appeal. I'm just a woman talking about what most woman experience when dating. And up until yesterday, I was a faceless woman, a silhouette. Mother, who no matter how hard me or Lizzy pressed her, could give us no valid reason for what she did. Even when we said there had been some personal safety issues in the past with the videos. Even when we said we'd purposefully kept identifies obscured for a reason. Mother shrugged it off. Told us that by making the videos public we'd opened ourselves up to this sort of media scrutiny. She even had the gall to say we should be thankful it was her and not some other news organization.

  Only, I don't often see other news organizations talking about different matchmaker companies. Rarely is there an article, if ever. There's no denying Mother's intentions were malicious.

  And no matter how I try to reason it out or explain it, simply writing it causes a swift pain to the heart.

  My own mother.

  Chapter Five

  Antsy, feeling out of sorts in her surroundings, Jane kept her eyes down and pushed a skewed tomato and buffalo mozzarella cheese ball around on her plate. This state of unrest wasn't new. She’d been experiencing it over the last few months. She’d initially attributed it to work being unstable and the worry and uncertainty from that. Yet here at Emma’s, as part of their plan to rebuild slowly with Emma’s friends, the sort that preferred privacy, something Jane wholeheartedly understood, her edginess didn’t make sense. Typically, she’d take things in stride, but this time was a struggle. She was second-guessing everything of late. And the business aside, Jane had to wonder if coming here was good for her and Elizabeth personally. It didn't feel like it. She wondered if this weekend would be marked as a huge mistake. Much like the videos she’d done for Meryton. They’d seemed like a good idea at the time but, from her perspective, created more problems than they helped.

  Oh, Emma Woodhouse was friendly enough, but Jane didn’t know if she had the mental energy to feign indifference when asked about Charlie, or even when facing him. Knowing they were staying at the same house for the weekend, that she’d have to be on constant guard, was already exhausting. She scanned the room a second time. Her first sweep had come up empty, but this time she caught sight of his blond head. It would appear the cowardly Mr. Bingley was hiding behind his friend, William Darcy.

  Jane wanted to stomp her foot in frustration. Better yet, she wanted to stomp her foot on Charles Bingley’s. How dare he hold her hand, kiss her fingers, and appear as if he was experiencing the same connection she was! Then just up and leave one day without so much as a “catch ya later.” Reliving it brought an ache to her chest. She pressed the heel of her hand to the spot over her heart, wishing it would force the pain away. Jane was not a violent person, but sticking Charlie with the tomato skewer had some appeal. She stared at the tip and wondered if it was sharp enough.

  He might have fooled her once before, but she’d be a fool no longer. That went for his friend and sister, too. She was smart enough to know they likely had an impact on Charlie’s behavior. To what degree remained unanswered.

  “Hello,” a man said behind her.

  Jane spun to face him. She was simultaneously relieved and disappointed that it wasn’t Charlie, but angry that she cared. “Hello,” she said.

  He stood a head taller than her. A brown mop of hair with a lock falling over his forehead combined with a boyishly charming smile put Jane instantly at ease. He was dressed in dark-washed jeans and a white button-down oxford with the sleeves rolled up to his elbows. The tip of what looked to be a tattoo of an anchor peaked out from behind the rolled shirtsleeve. He looked familiar, but she couldn’t place him.

  “You probably don’t remember me.” He stuck out his hand. “Frederick Wentworth.” His touch was warm, his grip firm, but not intimidatingly hard.

  “Jane Bennet.”

  “Yes,” he said. “I met both you and your sister when I signed up at Meryton last year.”

  Jane mentally scanned through their clients and placed him. “Yes, of course.” She tilted her head in question. “You were matched with…” She could see the woman’s face in her mind's eye but not place her name.

  “Maggie. Margaret Elliott,” he said and set his lips to a grim flat line.

  She knew by his expression the match had not been successful. “Oh dear, I’m so sorry.”

  He waved her off. “It's nothing you did. It’s all on me.” Briefly he raised a brow. “I should not be left to my own where affairs of the heart are concerned.”

  “Yes, I know precisely what you mean.” They shared a look of one lonely heart to another.

  “At least the food is good,” he said and raised his plate.

  Jane noticed a tomato on Frederick’s plate as well, sans skewer. “Is Miss Elliott here?”

  Frederick sighed and shifted uncomfortably. “She’s supposed to be, but she hasn’t arrived.”

  “Do you want her to be here?”

  He nodded vigorously.

  “Is there something I can do to help?” Jane had the feeling this was more than a casual conversation, that he’d sought her out with a purpose.

  “Without sounding creepy—”

  Caroline's throaty voice laced with its usual disdain came from behind Jane. “Well, lookee-here, Jane Bennet hanging out with Frederick Wentworth. Not that I’m surprised. What was it your mother said, Jane? How you deserve all riches and treasures? Oh, I’m paraphrasing, of course. But be in the know, Frederick, Jane here is looking to marry well, looking for a payout.”

  Caroline Bingley was a stunningly beautiful woman. Blond like her brother with perfectly aligned features and crisp, bright blue eyes. Her tongue was razor sharp, her nails were talons, and there was an emptiness in her eyes that had inspired sympathy from Jane. Not anymore. Caroline was dressed in a cream-colored cashmere sweater set with black wide-leg trousers. Around her neck was a matching leopard-print scarf.

  Jane struggled to retort with something witty and sharp. It was the one trait about herself she wished she could change. She’d like to be more like Elizabeth, but with a sharp tongue came drama, and Jane really hated drama.

  Frederick rocked back on his heels, his hands in his pockets. “Aren’t you intending to do the same, Caroline?”

  Yes! Jane thought. A perfect response. Jane took pleasure in Caroline’s sudden pause, her mouth dropping for a brief moment before she slammed it shut. Watching Caroline gather her wits was enjoyable, but Jane knew the aftermath would be ugly, and confrontation was not Jane’s thing. She hated that, too.

  “Except Jane's business is to make money off people and love and their basic wants and needs. If every action is about obtaining the bottom dollar, then how are any of us to know what’s at the heart of Jane? My bet is on the payout.” She spoke to Frederick as
if Jane wasn’t present. And even though her words were heavy with contempt, they provided a missing piece, a clue,to what had gone wrong between her and Bingley. It was the question that kept her up some night. Here was her first clue. They’d thought her interest in him wasn’t sincere.

  As she had always done, Jane schooled her features and hid her emotions from Caroline and Frederick, lest the former use them to embarrass her. Jane pasted on a slight smile and shifted her crossed arms so she could tuck her elbows into the palms of her hands, a stance she hoped appeared less angry. She desperately searched for the best words to defend herself without handing over ammunition.

  “One needs to spend time with another person to get to know the other's true self, and that’s the only way. It saddens me, Caroline, that you are quick to make judgments about people. Imagine all those potential suitors you might have known had you not made a quick and possibly inaccurate assessment.”

  Frederick chuckled. “That doesn’t matter. Caroline wants only one man, William Darcy. He’s rich enough for her and, therefore, she’ll never have to share her money and will only have access to more.”

  Caroline leaned closer to them. “The thing about money, Frederick, is something you will likely never understand since your money is newly gained. Money can buy you all sorts of lovely things, but it can never give you the confidence you need to feel you are worthy. Isn’t that what happened between you and Margaret? I heard she knew you were coming and changed her plans.” Caroline’s smile was more a smirk.

  Several retorts, many unkind, sprang to Jane’s mind, but before she could say any of them, Caroline continued.

  “You’re better off sticking with Jane here. There will be no need to continue with this social climbing—”

  “Who’s climbing? Not in this weather,” Emma Woodhouse said, coming up behind Jane, her hand around Charles Bingley’s elbow, pulling him along with her. “The environs aren’t friendly. Very chilly and frosty. Besides, we all came here for love and happiness. That's why we're inside and not outside. It's supposed to be warmer in here. Of course, if one were determined to be cold, I'd happily arm them with whatever they need to have a fair shot when they brave the out of doors.” Emma nodded to the window where outside the snow was blowing.

  Jane caught Frederick’s eye. Something in Emma's tone made her think Emma wasn't talking about the weather. Jane wondered if he picked up on it as well or if she had imagined it. He lifted one brow slightly and cut his eyes to her for a second. They were of like minds. Jane refocused her attention on Emma, refusing to look at Charlie.

  Emma said, “Charlie, I believe you know my new friend, Jane Bennet.”

  “I do.” His voice was soft with a hint of scratchiness. He cleared his throat, but Jane continued to look at Emma.

  “We worked together briefly,” Jane supplied. She forced herself to look his way and was startled to find him staring down at her, a big smile on his face. He actually did look happy to see her. Excited almost. His gaze swept over her like a lover's caress. Jane was instantly confused. She and Bingley had gone on several dates, had spent all their free time together while he’d been in Meryton. That’s why his leaving had been so hurtful. And here he was looking at her like he couldn't get enough. She knew the feeling.

  He was dressed casually in khaki pants and a powder-blue pullover that highlighted his eyes. He stepped closer. “I'm so happy to see you again, Jane,” he said, his voice soft and rolling over her, covering her in a ripple of warmth. He brushed his hand down her shoulder, but removed it in a flash, as if he suddenly realized they had an audience.

  She could smell his aftershave, a fresh beachy scent of seagrass and coconut that made her want to cuddle with him in a hammock. A pang of deep longing hit her in the solar plexus, making her so weak and out of breath she swayed toward him. She’d missed him and only now admitted to herself how much. She missed his conversation, his gentle mannerisms, and easy laugh.

  Afraid she'd embarrassed herself by falling all over him, Jane stepped away. She’d been foolish to think Charlie was everything she wanted. She’d dreamt of a future with him, one filled with babies, laughter, and a partner to share the tough days. Only Charles Bingley had turned out to be a giant disappointment. He'd made it painfully obvious that he was unreliable and clearly didn’t feel the same about her that she did him. Had felt about him, she corrected. Why else had he left? And look at him today? Touching her like he had done back then. At least now she knew his words and touches were pointless, merely part of his personality.

  “I wasn’t aware that you and Frederick knew each other, Jane,” Emma said cheerfully.

  Client confidentiality aside, Jane would never out Frederick for having used a matchmaker. A person’s business was simply that, their business. She searched for a way to connect them without spilling his secret.

  Frederick shot her a brief but panic-stricken look. He said, “We actually don’t really know each other, but a friend of mine mentioned some videos, and I recognized Jane from them. Well, not from them since you can't really see her in the videos, but her identity is no secret. I sought her out and introduced myself.”

  Her identity wasn’t a secret any longer, thanks to her mother.

  Jane wanted to groan. And of all the ways to connect them, she wished he'd said something other than the videos. Though she supposed using the videos made the most sense. She glanced at Charlie and watched his smile fall. Stupid videos.

  “Oh, yes. Those quaint little dating videos you made Jane. Why did you even bother to try and hide your identity if you mother was going announce it in a national tabloid?” Caroline said.

  Jane couldn't disclose that her mother hadn’t had the company's permission to name Jane. No one would believe it since it was her own mother.

  Emma clasped her hands together happily. “Oh, that’s right. I watched those, too, Jane. Quite enchanting. Truthfully.” Emma wrapped her arm around Jane and gave her a snuggle-type hug. “As a woman, I was pleased with many of the points you made about the ups and downs of dating and about what women really want from a relationship. Well done with those videos. You should be proud of the messages you gave. Gosh, after watching those video’s, I wanted to date you.” When Emma laughed light and loud, the others joined her, though Jane’s was false. She guessed some others were as well.

  Jane tried to accept what Emma was saying about the value of the videos, but all she could think about was the personal cost and Charlie’s reaction.

  “Are you trying to set up the matchmaker, Emma? Jane with Frederick?” Caroline asked.

  Emma said, “Matchmakers need love too, Caroline. Though I’ll admit I saw Frederick and Margaret a better fit than Jane.” She tapped Frederick’s chest and smiled mischievously. “But I shall now have to give this some more thought.”

  “Oh, um, well, I…” Frederick stammered.

  Jane looked for an escape. As she scanned the crowd, she found the face of an older woman that was familiar, though the magenta-tipped hair was throwing her off. She gasped as recognition gut-punched her.

  “Er, Emma. Why is my mother here?” She nearly groaned the question, especially considering whom she was standing with. She immediately searched the crowd for Elizabeth.

  “Oh, well, I always have someone from the rags come out. I want them to make some speculation. I like to see how their predictions play out. Plus, I’d rather they report the truth instead of made-up gossip about these parties. Excuse me while I go greet her.”

  Across the room, Jane saw Elizabeth walking toward the windows, leaving Anne and a tall gentleman behind. Jane needed to reach her as soon as possible.

  “Excuse me,” Jane mumbled and beelined straight for her sister.

  Their mother here meant nothing would be private. Nothing would be sacred. And everything that would and could go wrong would likely be blamed on Meryton Matchmakers. Even though Emma had told the group she was the one who had invited Joanna Bennet to the party, Jane knew Caroline would
spin it so Mrs. Bennet’s presence reflected poorly on Meryton.

  Chapter Six

  Now was the time. Caroline had stepped away, Bingley was gone, and Darcy was alone, his back still to her. As far as she knew, he hadn’t spotted her. She hoped catching him off guard would work to her advantage. Bolstered by the opportunity, she moved toward him. Suddenly, all the speeches she had practiced sounded stupid. Maybe she should just blurt out a “thank you” and be done with it. Lord knows, he’d rarely heard kind words from her. Saying thanks would be a surprise, no doubt, and he’d probably be skeptical and think she was being sarcastic. But, if nothing else were to happen this weekend, she’d press upon Darcy her profound gratitude for what he did for Lydia.

  Moving with swift determination, Elizabeth took the straightest path to Darcy. But Jane intercepted her before she could go half the distance. She grabbed Elizabeth's elbow and spun her away, leading her toward a quiet corner in the opposite direction.

  “What’s going on, Jane? I need to do something right now.” Elizabeth tried to tug her arm free.

  “Mother is here,” Jane whispered.

  Elizabeth stumbled. She scanned the crowd. “How did that happen?”

  “Emma invited her. She actually wants mother to write an article.”

  Elizabeth groaned. “Doesn’t she know how wrong that can go?”

  Jane snorted. “And how it will get twisted into being our fault.”

  Elizabeth stopped short. “Caroline Bingley.”

  “Thankfully, she was present when Emma told everyone mother was here by her doing, but that won’t make a difference to her.”

  “Finally! Caroline Bingley has never been your friend.” Elizabeth hated to be mean to her sister, but sometimes people had to face the truth, and in this case the truth was Caroline did not want Jane and Charlie together.