Happy-go-lucky

by Ian Hay

  CHAPTER XIV

  ANOTHER COSY CHAT, WITH AN INTERRUPTION

  I

  _The victim_, continued Connie presently, _is now upon the sofa, wedgedin between the Chief Ogress and the Assistant Tormentor. She is scaredout of her wits, poor thing, but has stood up to the pair of themsplendidly so far_.

  "It was good of you to come down to this poky little corner of thecountry, Miss Welwyn," Lady Adela was saying, handing Tilly a second cupof tea. "It is so nice when one's friends take one as they find one, isit not?"

  Tilly, wide-eyed and quaking, was understood to assent to thisproposition.

  "You live in town, I understand?" continued Lady Adela cautiously.

  Tilly took a deep breath, and began:--

  "Yes--in Russell Square. The house," she continued rapidly, "is veryold-fashioned. It belonged to my grandfather. My father inherited fromhim, and we have lived there ever since we left Cambridge. We haveoften talked of leaving, but Dad says he can't bear transplanting at histime of life. So," concluded Tilly, with an hysterical littlegasp--Lady Adela and Sylvia were listening with the dispassionateimmobility of a pair of well-nourished sphinxes--"we just stay on."

  _She has confessed that she lives in Bloomsbury_, wrote Mrs. Carmyle._The Inquisition are one up_.

  "Russell Square!" cooed Lady Adela. "How charming and old-fashioned!So handy for the British Museum, too!"

  "And Euston Road!" added Sylvia enthusiastically.

  _Cats! Cats!! Cats!!!_ recorded Connie furiously.

  Lady Adela offered Tilly a bun, and resumed her long-distance fire.

  "You are quite a small family, I imagine?"

  "Well," began Tilly readily--they had reached a topic that lay very nearher heart--"there are Father and Mother, of course, and my brotherPercy, and my sister, and two quite tiny ones. My grandmother--"

  "How nice," murmured Lady Adela indulgently, closing her eyes as if tomitigate the strain of this enumeration. "And what is your littlesister's name?"

  "Amelia."

  "Amelia? Delightful! Perfect! It suits Russell Square exactly."

  "One feels," corroborated Sylvia, "as if the Sedleys and the Osbornesand the Rawdon Crawleys all lived next door."

  _Why don't they smack people like Sylvia more in their youth?_ enquiredMrs. Carmyle's letter plaintively.

  "I don't think we have met any of _them_," said Miss Welwyn doubtfully."The Mossops live on one side of us and the Rosenbaums on the other. Wedon't call on them, of course," she added apprehensively. "And oh, LadyAdela, I have an invitation for you from my mother, to come and have teawith us."

  "That is very kind of your mother," said Lady Adela graciously. "Youshall give me the invitation when you have unpacked your boxes."

  "It's--it's not a written invitation," said Tilly. "Mother just askedme to ask you, any day you happen to be coming into town. Then youwould meet my father and the others."

  "That will be charming," replied Lady Adela. "I think we have noengagement on Monday." (_Lady A. is simply bursting with curiosityabout the girl's family_, observed Connie at this point.) "I will writea little note to your mother, and you shall take it back with you onMonday morning. Are you the eldest of the family?"

  "No. Perce--Percy is the eldest. He is twenty-two."

  "Is he at the University?"

  Miss Welwyn shook her head.

  "Not now," she said. She spoke with more freedom. The restraint of hersurroundings was wearing off, and her courage, which was considerable,was beginning to assert itself. "He is in the City. He dislikes itvery much, poor boy. He is so fond of open-air sports, and he finds anoffice very trying. My father was a great sportsman, too. He used togo racing a good deal at one time, but he has given it up now. He sayshe is on the shelf."

  "And he was a Fellow of his College, I think you said?" remarked LadyAdela, a little bored with this prattle.

  "Yes--Fellow and Tutor."

  "But he is no longer in residence, you say?"

  "No," said Tilly briefly.

  _There is something shady about the poor child's father_, wrote Mrs.Carmyle, _but Lady A. has got no change out of her so far_.

  "I am looking forward greatly to making your father's acquaintance, MissWelwyn," said Lady Adela, with absolute sincerity. "Now, I wonder if Iknow any of your mother's people. I don't think you have mentioned hermaiden name."

  "She was a Banks," replied Miss Welwyn readily.

  _Bill, dear, this little girl is splendid!_ recorded Connieenthusiastically.

  "I beg your pardon?" said Lady Adela.

  "A Banks," repeated Tilly politely.

  Lady Adela nodded her head intelligently.

  "Ah, to be sure!" she said. "Let me see. Are they a Warwickshirefamily, now?"

  "Or is it a Cornish name?" queried Sylvia, with an encouraging smile.

  "No," said Tilly. "Mother came from Bedfordshire--or elseCambridgeshire," she added rather breathlessly, for the four eyes of thesphinxes were upon her once more.

  "But, dear Miss Welwyn--" began Sylvia.

  _I can stand this no longer!_ scribbled Connie, and threw down her pen.

  "Thank goodness, that's over!" she exclaimed, rising and coming over tothe fire. "What a nuisance affectionate husbands are! Talking ofhusbands, Sylvia, I hear you are going to marry a plumber."

  Lady Adela and Sylvia, taken in flank, both turned and eyed thefrivolous interloper severely. Had they not done so, they would havenoted that Miss Welwyn's teacup had almost leaped from its saucer.

  "Dear Connie, you are priceless," commented Sylvia patronisingly. "Iwonder where you got your quaint sense of humour."

  "Lady Adela was my informant," said Connie, quite unruffled. She haddrawn the enemy's fire upon herself, which was precisely what she hadintended to do. "Jolly sensible of you, too! A plumber is a usefullittle thing to have about a house. My Bill is practically one, youknow, although he calls himself something grander. Now, what about afour-handed game of billiards before dinner? Do you feel inclined toplay, Miss Welwyn?"

  "I am rather out of practice," said Tilly dubiously.

  "Never mind!" said Connie. "You can play with Dicky against Mr.Mainwaring and me."

  She walked to the foot of the staircase, and called up: "Mr. Richard,forward!"

  "In one moment, Miss!" replied a voice far up the height. "I'm justattending to a lady at the ribbon counter. I'll step down directly."Then a stentorian bawl: "Sign, please!"

  During this characteristic exchange of inanities an electric bell purredfaintly in the distance, with the usual result that the dining-room dooropened, to emit the jinnee-like presence of Mr. Milroy.

  "What is it, Milroy?" enquired Lady Adela.

  "Front door bell, my lady," replied Milroy, and disappeared like acorpulent wraith through the curtains.

  "Heavens, not _another_ caller!" exclaimed the overwrought mistress ofthe household.

  "Probably Mr. Rylands come back for his goloshes," said Sylvia. At thesame moment Dicky and his father appeared, descending the staircasetogether.

  "_And_ the next article, madam?" continued Dick lustily, addressing Mrs.Carmyle, who stood below.

  He was answered, not by the lady to whom his query was addressed, but byMilroy, who appeared holding back one of the curtains which covered theentrance to the vestibule, to announce, in the resigned tones of a manfor whom life holds no further surprises:--

  "Mr. Percy Welwyn!"