Fisher's Light

by Tara Sivec

  Finding out that Ellie is pregnant has thrown me completely, but finding out that she was actually dating someone is even more shocking. Ellie has been alone since her husband of only a year, Daniel, was killed in action. They were high school sweethearts just like Fisher and I, and when he received orders that sent him from South Carolina to Texas, they got married as soon as Ellie graduated from high school so she could go with him. She’s told me countless times after a few glasses of wine that she knows she’ll never love someone as much as she loved her husband. The tragic way she lost him scarred her heart worse than anything I could ever imagine, and she’s kept that heart under lock and key for all of these years. I’m protective of her whenever I see a guy try to hit on her or ask her out on a date, but I also recognize that she needs to move on.

  Bobby wraps his hands around her upper arms and turns her body to face him. I stand silently in the corner and let him say what he needs to say, hoping he knows what the hell he’s doing. If he hurts my best friend, I will kick his ass.

  “I know I’m not Daniel. I would never try to take his place in your heart or your life, but I hope that you can make a little room for me in there and give me a chance. In case you haven’t noticed, I’m completely in love with you, Ellie. I’ve been in love with you since the first day I met you and you told me to fuck off when I asked you out on a date,” Bobby chuckles. “I want to marry you because I love you and I can’t imagine spending the rest of my life arguing with anyone else but you. I’m not asking you to marry me because of the baby, I’m asking you to marry me because of ME. Because I want this, more than I’ve ever wanted anything else in my life.”

  He drops his hands from Ellie’s arms and leans forward, pressing a kiss to her forehead before backing away.

  “Don’t say no. At least, not right away. Just think about it. You know where to find me.”

  Bobby gives me a nod before turning away and leaving through the sliding doors. As soon as he’s gone, I rush over to Ellie and wrap my arms around her while she sobs into my shoulder. I’ve never seen Ellie cry, EVER, and it tears me apart to hear the anguish in her voice as she cries.

  “Everything is going to be okay, Ellie, I promise. I’m going to be here for you every step of the way. If you don’t want Bobby, I will be here. I’m not going anywhere,” I tell her.

  She lets out a groan, pulling out of my arms. “That’s the problem. I DO want Bobby! He’s such an arrogant ass, but he’s sweet and he loves me and fucking hell, I think I’m in love with him, too!”

  Grabbing onto her hand, I yank her outside onto the veranda, pointing to a rocking chair. “Sit!”

  She immediately complies. Leaning my butt against the railing, I cross my arms in front of me and stare at her.

  “Speak.”

  She rolls her eyes. “I’m not a damn dog, Lucy. Hey, aren’t you supposed to be down at the parade?”

  “Distraction is not going to work, missy. Explain what the hell I just witnessed in that kitchen. Why didn’t you tell me you were dating Bobby?”

  Ellie sighs, pulling her legs up onto the chair and wrapping her arms around them. “Because we weren’t really dating, we were just sleeping together. It wasn’t that big of a deal until… it sort of became a big deal. I really started to like him and I wanted to spend time with him. It scared the hell out of me. I kept thinking about Daniel and how I was tarnishing his memory by having feelings for another man.”

  Pushing away from the railing, I squat down in front of her. “Oh, honey, you aren’t tarnishing Daniel’s memory. Do you really think he’d want you to be alone for the rest of your life? To never experience love again and to never be happy? I can’t believe for one minute that he would’ve wanted that for you.”

  Ellie brushes her hand against her cheek as more tears start to fall. “I know that, in my head I know that. The problem is that… I think I love Bobby more than I ever loved Daniel. I don’t know, it’s all happened so fast with him and all of these feelings came out of nowhere. I wasn’t looking for love and all of a sudden it smacked me up side the head. I feel guilty because my feelings for Bobby are so much stronger than they were for Daniel and I hate that. I hate that I’m forgetting him and Bobby is the one filling my thoughts.”

  Grabbing onto her hand, I give it a squeeze. “You aren’t forgetting Daniel, you’re just moving on, sweetie. You loved Daniel when you were both really young. You should’ve had more time together, but you didn’t and that sucks. No one can ever take away the love you had for him, and there’s no shame in falling in love again. You’re older now, you’ve seen more of the world and life in general. You’ve learned more about love and you’ve found someone who challenges you and isn’t afraid to call you on your shit. If you love Bobby, and it seems like he really loves you, why should you punish yourself by not exploring it?”

  Ellie sighs, leaning her head back against the chair. “I really want to marry him, Lucy. I can’t believe I’m saying that, but it’s true. I can see a future with him and it makes me happy and excited. I haven’t felt like this in a long time.”

  “I think you need to tell him that,” I inform her.

  “He’s never going to believe I’m saying yes because I actually want to marry him. He’s going to think I’m doing it because of the baby. Oh, my God, I’m going to have a baby,” Ellie suddenly whispers in shock.

  I laugh at the look of horror on her face. “He’s going to believe you when you tell him exactly what you just told me. And when you two are living happily ever after together, you can name this baby after me as a thank you.”

  “I really hope it’s not a boy, then, or he’s going to be the girliest little boy in the world,” Ellie finally laughs.

  “I’m so happy for you, Ellie,” I tell her honestly.

  “I’m happy for me, too,” she tells me with another laugh. “What about you? When are you going to get your happily ever after?”

  I sigh, thinking about the things my mom said to me the other day about Fisher. I just need to get through today and then hopefully the two of us can talk. I want an explanation for all the things that happened between us and I want to be able to have a calm, rational talk with him about how I feel and what I want.

  “I don’t know if a happily ever after is in the cards for me, but I’m going to try,” I admit.

  “Does that mean you’re going to kick Stanley to the curb?” she asks with an excited look on her face.

  “Seriously?” I ask her in annoyance.

  “What? I mean, he made you happy for a little while and I gave the guy a chance, but Lucy, he’s a fucking dud. I like the way you are when you’re with Fisher, that’s all,” she says with a shrug.

  “And how is that, exactly?” I question.

  “You’re a little firecracker when you’re with him. And yes, I just made a Fourth of July joke ON the Fourth of July. You’re welcome,” she says sarcastically. “I don’t know, you come alive when you’re around him. You aren’t just going through the motions, doing what you think you have to do. You’re passionate and angry and happy and crazy. You’re actually living when you’re with him. I haven’t seen you do that in a while, and definitely not with Stan the Un-Man.”

  Ellie and I talk for a few more minutes about Fisher and I tell her a little bit about what happened in the alley without going into too many intimate details.

  “Nice, Lucy likes it rough,” Ellie says with a laugh.

  I smack her hand and roll my eyes at her.

  “That was not the point of me sharing that with you,” I scold her. “The point is, Fisher thinks I’m made of glass. He thinks I’m still the same woman he married and that he has to handle me with kid gloves. He’s afraid of his temper and the passion that comes with it, and I don’t know how to tell him that he doesn’t have to be afraid. That I’M not afraid and I want it. I want everything from him.”

  Ellie shrugs. “So how about you show him instead of tell him? Men are visual creatures. You could talk to him un
til you’re blue in the face and he still wouldn’t get it. He’d still think you were only placating him or saying what you thought he wanted to hear. Strap on a set of balls and show the guy that you want all that intensity and passion from him.”

  I mull over Ellie’s advice while she helps me gather up the t-shirts to sell on Main Street. Even though Fisher and I really do need to talk about so many important things, Ellie is right. He’s never going to believe that part of what I have to say unless I prove it to him, show him that I’m not afraid of his anger or his jealousy and that if he’s serious about working through things, I want ALL of him this time, not just the parts he chooses to share with me.

  Chapter 30

  Fisher

  Present Day

  The entire town, including all the tourists, has packed the small baseball field next to Barney’s. The bleachers filled up quickly, so most people brought chairs and blankets and they are spread out all around the chain-link fence surrounding the field, cheering the teams on. Every year, the businesses put their names in a hat if they have employees who are going to play and the mayor draws the teams to make it fair. I really had no intention of playing this year, but a last minute ankle injury had me filling in starting in the third inning. I was team captain the last game I played in two summers ago, and let’s just say it didn’t go very well. My drinking had started to get out of hand right around that point and everything pissed me off, even what was supposed to be a fun, friendly competition between local businesses. I almost got kicked out of the game for shouting at my team every time they made a shitty play, but Lucy did her best to calm me down and convince everyone I was just having an off day.

  To say I was a little surprised that everyone begged me to play today is an understatement. The only reason I agreed is because the team that needed me is Lucy’s team and the captain is my father. He’s made it a point not to let Lucy bat and threw her as far out in the outfield as she could get and still be on the damn field.

  It’s the bottom of the ninth and our team is losing 3-1, bases loaded with two outs. It’s not looking very good for Fisher’s Fireballs. If we don’t get our guys home, the game is over. I thought being in the dugout with Lucy would be the perfect opportunity to talk to her, but every time I’ve tried, she’s done whatever she could to avoid me. I realize it’s not the most private place to have a deep conversation, but at this point, I just want her to smile at me and give me some sort of sign that things are going to be okay with us. We’ve played many Fourth of July softball games together over the years, but this is the first time I’ve had to hold myself back from scooping her up in my arms and cheering along with her when our team makes a good play. We were always getting yelled at in the outfield for sneaking kisses and smacking each other on the ass and not paying attention to the game. I miss having fun with her. I miss doing normal things and being the couple that everyone teased because we couldn’t keep our hands off of each other. Now, I have to force myself not to rub her shoulders while she’s clutching onto the fence and cheering on the team. I have to find something else to do with my hands to avoid winding her long ponytail around my hand and pulling her head back for a kiss.

  “Mark, you’re up!” My dad shouts to the owner of the Lobster Bucket, who was snoring at the end of the bench.

  “Seriously?” I ask quietly through clenched teeth. “Mark has been up to bat four times already and each time you’ve had to wake him up from his afternoon nap. And he has yet to get a hit.”

  My father takes his ball cap off and scratches his head. “Mark is next in the line-up, so Mark better get a hit this time.”

  “Put Lucy in,” I argue. “She can at least get us a base hit and then I’m up after that.”

  “Since you aren’t the team captain this year, a wise decision after your behavior last time, sit down and keep your opinions to yourself,” he argues back.

  I’m about two seconds away from shoving my father into the dugout fence behind him when Lucy comes up next to me and puts a hand on my arm.

  “It’s fine if your father doesn’t want to put me in,” she says sweetly. “If we do end up winning, we’ll just have to forfeit our victory and give the trophy to the other team. No big deal.”

  I watch her shrug with a cheeky smile and I try not to laugh.

  “What the hell are you talking about?” my father asks in irritation.

  “Oh, didn’t you hear? They established rules this year on account of Erika throwing that ball at Stephen’s head last year because he kept making jokes about her holding his balls when she got up to bat,” Lucy informs him.

  I chuckle to myself, a little sad that I didn’t get to witness THAT moment between the married owners of the town’s dry cleaners.

  “Not only are spouses no longer allowed to play on the same team, every person ON the team must get at least one up-to-bat. Any violation of the rules results in a forfeit,” Lucy finishes with another sweet smile.

  “Why didn’t I hear about these stupid rules?” my father grumbles.

  Lucy leans up on her tip toes and snatches the baseball cap from my head and puts it on her own, pulling her ponytail through the hole in the back before grabbing a bat from the holder beside my father. “I’m sure you were too busy trying to take over the world to pay attention at the last town meeting. It’s a good thing you have me.”

  She moves past him and out of the dugout, putting a little extra swing in her hips as she goes. My father throws his cap across the dugout and I laugh right in his face before moving to the opening so I can get a better look at Lucy’s ass.

  I mean, yell some encouraging words as she practices her swing.

  Seriously though, those tiny black cotton shorts she’s wearing have been torturing me all day and watching her lean forward and stick out her ass as she gets ready for the first pitch is making me sweat. My heart is also thundering a little harder in my chest that she’s wearing my cap, something she’d always done. Even when she’d bring her own hat to the game, she’d always take it off and steal mine when she was up to bat, arguing that it brought her good luck. It was an outright lie because she never got a hit whether she wore my hat or not, but it still made me feel good to see her wearing it. She looks so fucking hot in that white Butler House tank top and tiny black shorts with my baseball hat on her head.

  “Let’s go, Lucy! Homerun!”

  The crowd screams and cheers when they see her up to bat and now I’m nervous as hell. She played softball her senior year of high school, and let’s just say she spent a lot of time on the bench. We’ve played in many games together since she started running Butler House, and her skills hadn’t really improved, either. It didn’t matter to her because she was playing for fun, but I really want her to show up my father and make him look like an ass.

  The first pitch comes and flies right by her.

  “STRRRRRIKE!”

  “Well, there goes this year’s trophy,” my father mutters in irritation behind me.

  “Come on, Lucy! You can do this!” I shout to her, ignoring my father.

  She tightens her grip on the bat, shaking her hips a little as she gets into stance. My dick immediately wakes up in my shorts and starts panting.

  The next pitch comes and she swings a second too late.

  “STRRRRRIKE!”

  Half the crowd boos while the other half cheers and I step out onto the dirt and yell for a time-out. Butch, who’s the ump today, backs away from the plate while I jog over to Lucy.

  “Shit. I forgot how much I suck at softball,” Lucy laughs nervously as I approach her.

  “You’re doing fine,” I tell her. “Just choke up on the bat a little.”

  Grabbing her hands, I move them up the neck of the bat. She looks up at me and I don’t remove my hands from around hers on the bat as I stare down into her blue eyes. I take another step closer to her until our toes are touching and I can feel her breath on my face.

  “Keep your eyes on the ball the entire time, from the
second it leaves the pitcher’s hand until it connects with your bat,” I tell her softly.

  Sliding my leg between hers, I tap the instep of her foot with my toe.

  “Spread your feet apart a little wider. You’re stance is too tight.”

  Lucy leans into me when she moves her feet apart and I take a deep breath, inhaling the coconut scent lingering on her skin. Her eyes still haven’t left mine and my hands still haven’t let go of hers around the bat. I beg my dick to stay at ease and not jump up and poke her in the stomach.

  “If it helps, imagine the ball is my head and you should be able to knock that thing out of the park,” I tell her with a soft smile.

  Her cheeks flush pink and I’m hoping it’s because of my close proximity and not the sun blazing down on top of us.

  “I think I got it,” she whispers back, making no effort to move away from me.

  “If you two are finished canoodling, can we get back to the game?” Butch asks, coming right up next to us.

  We both turn our heads to see him smiling at us. He gives us a wink before pulling his face guard down from the top of his head.

  I back away from Lucy and give her an encouraging smile, even though all I want to do is tackle her to the ground and fuck her on top of home plate.

  “You can do this, Lucy. Eye on the ball.”

  I clap loudly and continue cheering her on as I walk backwards towards the dugout.

  As soon as I’m in the opening of the cage, my father comes right up next to me.

  “What the hell are you doing?” he asks in irritation.

  “I was giving her a few pointers. Something you should have done as the team captain,” I explain sarcastically, trying my best not to lose my cool since the entire team has gotten up from the bench and is standing all around us cheering Lucy on.

  “You were making a spectacle of yourself in front of the entire town. She has a boyfriend, who is in the stands and no doubt saw that entire display,” he says quietly with an edge to his voice. “Congratulations, you just made her look like the whore I always knew she was.”