It was probably a mistake, but I’d help Connor through all of it. He marched into the box this morning and told Terri that Friday’s race would be his last. He had a business to run and a life to live. I knew how much racing meant to him, but that wasn’t to say he couldn’t find something in the city to get into. They had all kinds of small race circuits that people got in on just for the fun of it. Who knew, maybe a little routine at home was what he needed. All I knew is I felt like I was home anywhere Connor was.
It finally hit me last night as we slept with our bodies tangled together. I was missing the one thing I needed to feel complete. If I played now, with Connor by my side, I wouldn’t need a stimulant to live my life. The pull to use might always be there, but with how complete I felt being back with the man I love, I doubt it would be hard to overcome.
Not that I wanted to play. I didn’t. I was starting to get excited about the new ventures Rodeo was setting up for me. The few missed calls I’d got from him the day before were about the script for the movie being delivered to the penthouse in New York. After we woke from a nap last night, I told Connor all about it over cold pizza. We each had something to contemplate. I was deciding if acting instead of playing football would be enough for me. Connor was considering if just working at the shop would be good for him.
I grew up with the game. There wasn’t a single thing in my life that wasn’t altered to fit with my practice and game day schedule. To not have to do that anymore would be strange at first. Even this last week and a half away has been somewhat odd. But until I finally told Connor my plans, it only felt like an extended vacation. I couldn’t tell him until I confessed all of it. The fact that he took it as well as he did, only proves to me how much I underestimated him ten years ago. I’d never make that mistake again.
I woke this morning with the idea fresh in my mind. I’d withdraw my name from the draft. I was picked up by another team but a quick text to Rodeo put everything in place. He was my agent, let him get the questions and weird looks.
When Connor woke, I told him what I did, and it must have given him the boost he needed to voice what he wanted. “I’m going to let go of racing. I think it’s time,” he said still rubbing the sleep from his eyes. He didn’t hesitate at all when he walked into the box. Terri looked bewildered when he blurted it out. He left before she had a chance to say anything, and I stood there for just a moment, which now meant I was face to face with his manager.
“What in the ever-living-fuck have you done to my driver?” she blurted but didn’t look worse off for it. She just swung her long hair behind her and took a seat with her coffee in hand.
“Me? I didn’t do a damn thing.”
“Oh, I think you did. You know, Parker…he’s been longing for you for the last ten years. When you walked out of his life, he had me to steer him in the right direction. I took care of him, and you never looked back. Is this some kind of revenge?”
“For what? Taking care of Connor? Hell no. Like I said, I had nothing to do with this. It was his decision, and if anyone is to blame, Teresa, it’d be you. You yelled too loud, he got shaken and almost crashed that car. Did you really think that was smart?”
“I didn’t mean to yell at him. It’s these damn sponsors. They want the old Connor Reed back. He’s lost his edge.”
“No, he has his business…he had a goal, and now he’s just doing it for fun. There’s nothing for him to work toward. And, it’s not like you give him incentive to try harder.”
She placed her cup on the table and crossed her arms over her chest. “Oh, and I suppose you know what’s best? You’ve been gone for ten fucking years, Parker. I picked up those pieces, not you. I know what he was driving toward. I’m the one who put him on that track,” she said pointing out the large window.
“And now, he is the one taking himself off it. I can’t say that I’m sad about it either. What good is having a dream if you don’t have time to enjoy it once you’ve obtained it? This is a good thing, Terri. It leaves you with a spot open to fill with the next hot-shot.”
“I suppose so.” She sat down looking out at the track through the large picture window. “Oh, and Parker…this is not high school. Call me Teresa again, and I’ll knock your ass out and lay you on the asphalt so my drivers can use you like a speed bump. At least those who aren’t fucking you.”
“Considering I’m just fucking the one yeah, I’ll remember that.” I hadn’t meant to blurt it out, but it was Terri. We grew up together.
Connor and I had talked some last night and this morning…except what was in store for us. If there really was an us. The possibility of being with him again was so irresistible that I didn’t think to question where we went from here. We were both giving up parts of ourselves. Both of us would have to learn to navigate new terrain. Should we want to put a label on what was happening between us? I suppose that’s a conversation for another time.
I hurried out to the garage and saw the pit crew putting their tools away. Rob, the dark-haired hunk in the picture with Connor, was sitting on a tall stool behind a desk of monitors. I tried to see the tattoos that traveled up his arm and ended behind his ear. It wrapped around the front of his neck and circled his next to stop again on the back the opposite shoulder.
“Hey, Parker. How’s Terri?”
“I take it Connor told you…”
“Of course. I’m not just his crew chief. We’ve been best friends since we met, ten years ago. Give or take,” he said with a laugh.
“So, you were the rebound?” I said joking, but when I saw Rob’s face, I knew it was true.
“We met in AA. So, trying to date anyone at the time was pretty much out of the question. You’re told to wait a year of being sober. So, we did the whole friends with benefits thing at first, but quickly realized it didn’t work. He was too into you, and I was too into myself,” he laughed with his mouth wide open. It was in-depth and throaty as he turned the other way and walked over to a crew member. The sound echoed through the garage.
It was nice to know Connor had a friend he could rely on, but that small part of me that held jealousy wanted to beat the man to a pulp for fucking him. We had been each other’s firsts, and I always thought we would be each other’s one and only. That’s just one of the first things at the bottom of the pile of shit I fucked up.
I took a seat in Rob’s vacated stool and put on the headphones. Connor was singing to himself during his warm-up lap. He really was in a great mood.
“You can talk to him,” Rob poked my shoulder and grabbed another headset. “Hey, what is this… band practice? You trying to be a singer or a driver today?” Rob said into the headset.
“I was thinking a bit of both,” Connor laughed, and I could tell it wasn’t forced. It made me smile as I watched his car around the last turn.
“How about you add some speed to those tires, hotshot.” Rob smiled at me before turning to his monitors. It was obvious they had a close friendship. “So, I thought we should do pit stops on the pit road today. Time these guys and see how the new crew holds up.” Rob winced.
“New crew? If I’d known, we had a new crew I would’ve done that days ago. Did you at least put the new guys on carrying…ya know, nothing requiring heavy tools?” I could tell he was joking around.
“Yes, yes. I did. You’ve got eight new guys on carrying, one on extinguish and just one new guy on jack.”
“On jack? He had better be good.” Connor laughed again and I looked over to the pit road. His guys were all lined up in front of the bay doors, arms up giving Connor the one finger salute. He waved as he passed by, revved up the engine and started his first real lap. Every one of the men had a headset on and could hear driver and crew chief busting their asses.
Whether the joking made the guys nervous or not, I didn’t know but it was evident he was having a hard time with the jack. Rob ran over and released it, putting the car back on the ground after the tire was switched out. Then he ran around the car, jacked up the othe
r side, replaced the tire and set him down with a thud, making the new guy follow and watch. Connor took off without checking that the way was clear. It seemed everyone knew where they were supposed to be, and when. I didn’t talk to Connor. I didn’t want to interrupt the witty banter he had going on with Rob. Terri only yelled at them once for being pigs. All in all, it was a good practice.
Walking hand in hand to the dark SUV waiting to pick us up, Connor was humming a giddy tune. He turned to me when we got in the car and kissed me before I had a chance to figure out what he was doing. I hadn’t expected it, so I tensed up, and he backed away.
“Is everything okay?” Connor turned back in his seat and leaned against the backrest.
“Everything is fine. You just caught me off guard.” His face visibly relaxed and the effect rolled down his body.
“Good,” he said turning back to me. “After last night, we didn’t really talk about what it all means for us, so I just figured we were going with the flow. Just see where it goes?”
That was an excellent way to put it, and while my mouth wanted to say, yeah sure, my head wanted to cream, No!
“I’m not sure I like that idea, entirely.”
“Oh?” Connor sounded so defeated it broke my heart after seeing him so happy today.
I turned to face him this time and rubbed his bottom lip with my thumb, then cupped the side of his face. “I want you. Only you. I want us to be together again. Waiting and seeing where things go, usually means we wouldn’t be exclusive. I want to be…us again.”
When the corners of his mouth turned up, I was glad to know I was the reason for that grin. I wanted to make it stay there indefinitely. I had so much to make up for, and a lifetime to do it in. I don’t know if it’d be enough time, but I’d try like hell making each and every day count.
Chapter 13
Connor
The buzz I was feeling followed me all the way to the hotel. I held onto Parker's hand the entire ride. I hadn’t said anything after his declaration. I wanted to wait until we got in our room and show him how much his words mean to me. I never thought I would hear them out of his mouth ever again. Yet, here we were. Holding hands in the back of an SUV, rolling up in front of the hotel to cameras flashing. Wait…cameras?
“What in the hell is this all about?” I asked Parker like he knew anything more than I did.
“Your guess is as good as mine. Could be about you, could be about me. We won’t know until we open that door.”
“No matter what they have to say, we cannot react to it,” I told him. “I learned that early on.”
“No problem. My resting bitch face has won medals.” Parker laughed and pulled his hand from mine.
“Hey, what are you doing?” I grabbed his hand again.
“You want to give them more to talk about?” The defiant look on his face was doing wild things to my groin, and I wanted to take him right there in the backseat of the car.
“Why not. We’re officially an item again, right? That’s what you were saying a few minutes ago,” I reminded him. “Why not show the world?”
Our driver walked around the car and opened the door. Parker got out first, my hand still clutched in his. When I emerged the fleet of questions began.
“Connor, is it true Friday will be your last race?”
“Connor, is it true you and Parker Taylor are dating? Do you have a problem with the recent allegations of drug use?”
“Parker, do you have anything to say about Sharp’s allegations that you provided the entire team with heroin?”
I finally watched the interview Tony told me about. There was no mention of heroin, or of any other drug. Every statement Sharp made was vague at best. I had to give it to Parker though as I made my way to his side. He pulled my hand up and kissed my knuckles to answer one question, and that was all until we had finally gotten on the elevator.
“I should have seen that coming,” I said as the lift stopped on our floor.
“Well, the race is in two days. Then we will be on our way back to New York,” Parker laughed and pulled me close once the door to our room closed behind us. “It will be even worse than that.”
“You’re right. By the time we get home, there will be reporters filling the street. I’ll call Tony tomorrow and secure the back entrance for us.”
“Home?”
“Yes. Home. You were in the process of staying with me for a few weeks, have you forgotten?”
“No, but…” his hand went to the top of his head. He rubbed from back to front absentmindedly, his nervous habit showing itself. “You haven’t answered my question from earlier. So I can’t comment on that yet.”
“As I recall, you never really asked a question. You told me what you want.”
“And?”
“And, I heard you loud and clear.”
“Do you have a response?” He was being coy or at least trying to.
I reached out and grabbed the hem of his shirt, pulling the thing over his head. “Oh yeah,” I said pulling at the waist of his jeans, “and I’m going to make sure you understand my response.” I moved forward and gripped his nipple in my mouth, circling the nub with my tongue. When I felt the slight shudder in his body, I grazed it with my teeth making him quiver. He groaned and winced when I bit down on.
“Oh fuck, babe.”
We toppled over onto the bed with the slightest movement. Parker landed on his back, and I got started on the button on his jeans. I pulled on his pants and boxers together, his cock stuck beneath them. When it was finally free of the waistband his dick sprang forward and bounced against his stomach. I grabbed it in my mouth, quickly moving down his shaft to suck hard on the upstroke.
“Fuuuuck,” he managed a strangled cry.
I traced his cock with my tongue down to his ball sac. Circling them with featherlight strokes, my mouth breathing hot air as I barely touched him. Teasing the skin between his taint and his scrotum. Without warning, I moved and took each one in my mouth. His hips bucked and he moaned, eliciting a sound that caused my groin to tingle. I released him and moved down to his pucker. Circling his taint with my tongue made him push against me. His hands gripped the sheets, and his ass rose up in the air as he moved back and forth pushing my tongue further in. I dipped into his entrance feeling for the rim. Parker pushed harder and moaned once more. I licked one of my digits and slid it inside his channel, provoking further moaning from Parker.
“Babe,” he cried out. I slipped in another finger and started to stretch him. “Oh, my go…”
Once he was well stretched, I removed my fingers and crawled up his torso to kiss Parker’s loud mouth. I reached into the bedside table and grabbed the lube, tossing it behind me. “Don’t need that.”
“Like fuck you don’t. There is a reason I’m a top.”
“Since when are you a top?” I ripped open the condom and pinched the tip. I grabbed his hand and guided it to my cock. “I remember you being on bottom many times.” Using Parker’s hand, we unrolled the condom down my shaft. His hand tightened around the bass as he pulled. “And you’re going to be again, once you let go of my dick.”
“You’re awfully cocky,” he smirked and gripping tight as he pulled up. I thought the condom was going to slip off, but he stopped at the tip and squeezed. “And, you’re not getting in my ass without that damn lube, so go get it.” Parker made a play at throwing me off the bed by the tip of my dick, and I rolled backward to grab the lube from the floor.
“I got it, and now you’re gonna get it.” I applied a generous amount on my hand and lathered my shaft, then dripped it from the tube onto his ass. He squealed from the coolness and slapped at me but missed. I slathered the lube around his pucker and pushed my middle finger inside. Then I quickly replaced my finger with my cock. I stopped just past the ring and allowed him a moment to get used to the intrusion. “Damn, babe. You’re tight.”
“Haha, well it’s been a while. So, just fuck me already.” He pushed down on me, and I went
in further and stopped. “You’re fucking killing me.”
I pushed inside him slowly but didn’t stop again. “Babe, I need you to move,” he wrapped his legs around my waist and lifted his ass off the bed. I began slow movements, and Parker wrapped his hand around his cock, stroking to the rhythm of my movements. Pre-come leaked from his slit, and I knew he wasn’t going to last much longer. The tightness of his channel around me was bringing me to my release.
“I’m gonna come, baby.” No sooner were the words out of my mouth that ribbons of come shot up Parker’s stomach and chest. I thrust harder, moving faster until my own release was filling the condom.
“Holy shit, babe.” Parker was panting through his aftershock. I collapsed down on the side of him, pulling off the condom and tying it. Then unceremoniously dropped the thing in the garbage can beside the bed before getting up to get a wet washcloth for Parker. I cleaned him up while his eyes drooped. He was snoring with his forearm resting across his face by the time I finished. I tossed the cloth on in the and bathroom and snuggled next to him. His arm wrapped around me and he kissed the top of my head. It’s been so long since I felt a sense of ease lying in bed. To be wrapped up in Parker’s embrace was like going home.
The year we split up I was a mess. It wasn’t Parker’s fault he couldn’t take my shit anymore. I spent my time after high school morning a business I wanted to start, and not having the income to do it. Being who he is, Parker was playing ball to save up the capital to get us the shop me the shop. I knew that.
Parker was all about football. He had no interest in fixing up bikes or custom building. That was something I wanted since my father mentioned it. When he died, it became an obsession. It was something I couldn’t live without doing, and Parker saw that. He did all the hard work, and I went with him to the parties after a win. I celebrated those wins because they meant more money. They suggested we were one step closer.
Eventually, I was just the drunk boyfriend of the football star. My dream of building motorcycles had become a memory. I got a menial job at a repair shop, and when I got home each night, I drank away my woes.
Connor's Achilles (Fast and Loud #1) Page 9
