Downfall: Kingdoms of Sin, Book #1

by Aster, Willow

“I know no other way to forge peace than to offer it willingly. We will see if she accepts.”

  “When is she coming?”

  “Next month.”

  My mother gets up and leaves the room in a rush.

  Jadon lowers his head and digs into his plate.

  “Just keep talking to her, Jadon. It’ll get better.”

  He doesn’t say anything but smiles at me before glancing back down at his food.

  After dinner, Ava and I go out and stand on the balcony and look at the stars and lights of our city.

  “Did you miss the cold while you were away?” she asks.

  “No,” I laugh, “no, I never did. I did miss you though.” I turn to her and she grins.

  “It was nice having the house to myself. I could get into your things without being yelled at…”

  I push her in the arm and she jumps back, laughing.

  “I hear your phone ringing sometimes in the night. Why do you not answer it?” She huddles in closer to me now and I watch as our breath drifts up into the clouds.

  “I don’t want to hear anything he has to say.” That’s not true. I’m tempted to answer every time he calls in the night. But I’m not strong enough. Not yet.

  “What if he’s calling to say he made a mistake?”

  “It’s far too late for that.”

  She nods. “It’s a shame. He seemed to be genuinely good under all that beauty.”

  I look at her, always surprised by the wisdom in my baby sister. “I thought so too,” I whisper.

  “I know you’re trying—I see what it takes for you to be so strong every day—but you don’t have to, you know? You’re home. This is where you’re allowed to feel whatever you feel.”

  “How did you get so smart?” I put my arm around her and pull her closer.

  “I’m Jadon’s and Father’s favorite and they’ve passed on all the brains to me.” She tries to hold back her laugh but can’t. When I look at her, her eyes are shining.

  “You don’t have to be strong either,” I whisper. “This is your safe place.”

  “It isn’t the same, is it? It doesn’t feel as safe anymore.”

  “I think that’s part of how we know we’re becoming adults. We’ve always had to be far older than our years; it comes with being part of a royal family. No hiding behind childhood any longer…”

  “Well, I fucking hate it,” she says.

  “Ava!” I look at her wide-eyed and she stares back defiantly.

  “Well, I do.”

  “Me too,” I finally concede. “I hate it too.”

  Chapter Thirty-Five

  Early the next morning, Jadon knocks on my door. I answer, barely able to focus on him. He laughs when he sees me.

  “I’m sorry to wake you up. I just wanted you to see this before I leave. I have to fly out in half an hour.” He hands me a folder. “Let me know what you think of it. I’ll be back around eleven tonight.”

  I flip open the folder and my eyes widen. “Oh. Okay. Thank you.”

  “Love you.” He kisses me on the cheek. “Go back to bed.”

  I grin and shut the door, crawling back into bed with the folder.

  Termination of Marriage…

  I read through the paperwork that states that I am seeking to terminate the marriage due to irreconcilable differences. That’s what they all say, isn’t it. Everything seems to be in order, even down to citing where the contract we had could only be broken should one or both parties engage in adultery. Luka must have known about that loophole and saw it as his way out. Or he thought his family would cover for him the way they’ve covered their own infidelities for years.

  The very last paragraph is what shakes me and I want to run after Jadon and dance in the hallways.

  The countries of Farrow and Alidonia are in the process of ongoing peaceful negotiations and request that Niaps join them in moving forward.

  My mind is blown. How was my brother able to accomplish this in such a short amount of time? I need to know what he’s sacrificed to make this happen. Ongoing peaceful negotiations and they haven’t even met yet? What is he not telling me? I’ll have to pull it out of him tonight when he gets back.

  I set the papers down and fall back to sleep smiling.

  Maybe now I will be able to move on.

  * * *

  I practically pounce on Jadon when he gets home. It’s actually morning and he looks exhausted but brightens up when I barrel into him.

  “I take it you’re happy about the documents.” He laughs, setting down his bag.

  “Yes, how soon can we send them?”

  “I will send it over now, if you like. You read it over carefully? You won’t be compensated—that all went back into the oil rigs—but hopefully it’s an agreement to stay civil and maintain peace for at least these years that I’m king.”

  “I don’t want anything from him.” I turn around and pinch my hand so I won’t cry. “But tell me, how has this all happened with Alidonia so quickly? What did you do?” I look at him over my shoulder.

  “Let me worry about that.”

  His eyes are so tired and he looks like he’s carrying the weight of the world on his back. I decide to let it go. For now.

  “Go to bed. Thank you, Jadon. You’re saving my life.”

  “I will sleep better at night, knowing you’re not part of that miserable family.”

  * * *

  I haven’t looked online to see what’s happening with Luka in weeks. I’m tempted, always tempted. I also haven’t stepped foot outside our estate. Tomorrow I will stop being a recluse is what I tell myself each day.

  I wake up the next morning feeling rested despite it being five in the morning. I look around to see what woke me and my phone is vibrating on my bedside table. I pick it up.

  Luka.

  I set the phone back on the table and it starts vibrating almost as soon as it stops. And again and again…until I get up and start pacing. I turn the sound completely off and try to ignore it, but now I see it light up and still know when he’s calling.

  Finally, I cave.

  “Hello?”

  “Don’t do this,” he says.

  “Why not?”

  “The whole point was to not put your family in any danger. One person is already dead. I don’t want to se—”

  “Little good it did for us to be married if that were the case.”

  “Eden, listen to me—”

  “No, you listen to me. The point was our fathers needed something only the other could give. We now have the money to keep things running smoothly here, thanks to you; you have access to our oil and other resources. That’s what our marriage accomplished. Alidonia is the wild card and now they’re listening to my brother. Your father should do the same. The day I stop being your wife will be the happiest day of my life. You know why? I will be completely rid of you in every way.”

  “I’m sorry you feel that way.” His voice is quiet and I raise my eyes to the ceiling and shake my head.

  “What game are you playing, Luka? You know what, I don’t even want to know. Don’t call me again. Jadon has worked this out and you need to sign the papers, end of story. We can put an end to this joke of a marriage.”

  “Please listen—”

  I hang up on him and power off my phone. I don’t have to listen to him for another second.

  After all of my restraint with not seeking out information about him, I give into the pull after our conversation. His tone…he didn’t sound like his normal cocky, arrogant self. He sounded flat and weary.

  The pictures don’t lie though. His smile is just as bright, if not brighter, as it ever was with me. He has the charm turned up full-throttle in every picture with Nadia by his side. And there are dozens of pictures.

  It’s still a topic of controversy: how could he do this to his wife and right after she lost her father? and well, he’s just like every other prince who’s been able to have his cake and eat it too.

  When I go to
breakfast, Mother and Ava are already eating. On the wall next to where I usually sit is a dartboard with Luka’s face on it. The target is dead center on his nose. They both are quiet as they watch my reaction. I stare at it and then them, bending over and laughing until I hurt. They start laughing too and the rest of the breakfast, every time I look over and see that dart in his nose, I cackle.

  “What is all this racket?” Jadon comes in smiling. When he sees the dartboard, he loses it too and picks up one of the other darts, nailing Luka right in the forehead.

  I still cry at night. Every night. Even if I go to bed feeling happier than the day before, when I get under the covers and remember how his arms felt around me in this very bed, the way I felt protected and even cherished at times, I grieve for the loss. It might not have been what I thought it was, but I felt every moment of it.

  Now that it’s gone, I realize how much richer my life felt with Luka.

  Even it was a lie.

  Sometimes I wish I hadn’t learned the truth and could keep pretending. Anything to feel his arms around me again.

  But when I wake up, the anger comes back with the sunrise. It’s a gift. Otherwise, I’d be in Niaps fighting for a chance.

  * * *

  My first public outing since my father’s death is the parade they do every year for his birthday. Typically, I ride through the streets in a horse-drawn carriage, waving and smiling as people cheer. This year I watch from the balcony of the cathedral next to my family. The mood is more somber than in past years, but there’s still a festive feeling in the air.

  As the last dancing team goes by, we go our separate ways. I decide to go to one of my favorite cafes and get a hot chaider. I can’t remember the last time I had one—I used to live on them in the coldest months.

  I’m walking down the snowy streets and feel the photographers’ presence as I always have when I’m out, but I’m caught off guard when one of them jumps out next to me and starts walking beside me.

  “You startled me.” I laugh, clutching my chest.

  “It’s good to see you again, Mrs. Catano.”

  I glance up, startled, and it’s Juan Salvo. “What are you doing here?”

  He holds up his camera. “I must always follow the beauty.”

  I laugh. “You didn’t have to come all this way. There’s plenty of beauty in Niaps.”

  “None like yours.”

  I stop walking and face him. “I’m sure you get many women to fall for those lines, but to me? They’re simply that and nothing more. What do you want, Juan?”

  He shrugs. “I would like to take your picture.”

  I hold out my arm. “Well, here I am. Take one.”

  “I would like you to pose for me. Alone. In the snow.”

  We reach my cafe and I turn to walk down the cobbled path. He rushes to open the door for me.

  “You should try the chaider here. It’s amazing.”

  “Okay,” he says, grinning. “So, yes? You will let me take your picture?”

  “Sure. It’s time for a new portrait. I won’t be Mrs. Catano for much longer.”

  His eyes light up. “So the rumors are true…”

  “Never pay attention to rumors, Juan.”

  I try to pay for my drink, but the barista insists on giving it to me. I put the money in her tip jar instead and she smiles gratefully.

  I sit at a table in the back and Juan sits across from me without asking. I widen my eyes at him and he just laughs.

  “We’re friends, yes?”

  “I don’t really know you.”

  “Yes, but we have spent time together. When I photograph someone, I feel I know them on an intimate level.” He leans across the table, getting closer and closer, and I have a flashback of Luka kissing me across the table.

  I stand up and slosh out a little bit of the chaider when I pick it up. Juan follows closely behind.

  “You’re making me uncomfortable.”

  “That is not my intention.”

  “I don’t know what your intention is, but you need to back off. I’m not in a generous mood these days.”

  He sighs. “Fine. We will take pictures here in the square, yes? There’s still snow around. This is not the location I would’ve chosen, but it will do.”

  I look at him for a few moments and my shoulders sag. “Set up an appointment with our house manager for some time this week. I will give you half an hour.”

  “That will be perfect. An hour would be better, but—”

  I level him with a look and he holds up his hands.

  “Perfect,” he says, smiling. “It will be just perfect.”

  Chapter Thirty-Six

  The weather is still brisk, but the sunlight is beginning to last longer. After a winter where the most sunlight we got was somewhere around six hours, the days of more light make it feel like spring is coming. And it is, even if that means the snow doesn’t go anywhere for a while yet.

  Juan sets up his tripod in the forest of snow. I’m wearing a long white dress and a white cape and my red hair and lips are a shock against the backdrop of white trees. Brienne is standing guard under a nearby tree and has a general look of annoyance. I don’t think she likes Juan very much. We are just outside the gardens of the Safrin estate and he’s already scheming for more time.

  “We agreed to half an hour,” I remind him, staring into the distance. I forget he’s even there until he tells me to turn toward him.

  “You’re preoccupied today. Is everything okay?”

  “I’m fine.”

  Luka’s voice telling me he doesn’t believe me when I say I’m fine mocks me as Juan reminds me to lift my shoulders.

  * * *

  By the afternoon, there are pictures online of me with Juan in the cafe. The picture of him leaning forward as far as he can is the one that’s talked about the most. There are a few pictures of us in the woods, but those aren’t taken as seriously since he’s known for his photography. The speculation is high that Juan is the one I’ve chosen as a rebound from Luka. He’s the one I’m finding solace in—it’s all so ridiculous that I put it out of my mind. It’ll die down soon enough since I won’t be seeing Juan again. I think he got all the shots he needed.

  My mother isn’t happy about the pictures, though.

  “You’re not divorced yet. It isn’t proper to be seen with another man.”

  “I wasn’t doing anything wrong. You want to see wrong, look at Luka’s pictures with Nadia. Juan just showed up here. He wanted to take photos of me and that’s what he did.” I shrug. “I can’t help what other people turn it into. Nothing happened.”

  “I’m sure he intended on making something happen.” She tuts and glares at me.

  “Mother! Even if that was his intention—nothing happened.”

  “You just make sure nothing does until your papers are signed and everything is legally over. We can’t afford to ruffle feathers. And even after it’s legal…do you really think you’ll be ready to date anyone right away? Sweetheart…” She shakes her head. “Guard your heart.”

  “I don’t feel like I’ll ever be ready for love again. You don’t need to remind me of my broken heart.”

  Her lips press together and she reaches for the teapot. “Would you like some tea?”

  “Tea will not make me feel better right now.”

  “Rum?”

  “Rum would help.”

  * * *

  I sit up in bed, panting, terrified.

  “Who’s there?”

  I move to turn on the light and a hand stops me. I start to scream and a hand covers my mouth.

  “It’s me. Please don’t scream.”

  He removes his hand.

  “What are you doing sneaking in here in the middle of the night, Luka? You could’ve been shot!” I whisper-shout, but even with that, he holds a finger up to my lips.

  “No one can know I’m here. Do you swear you won’t tell a soul?”

  “If you’ll tell me honestly why you’re
here, I swear.”

  “I can’t sign the divorce papers. I need you to trust me and stop pushing me to sign them. Can you do that?”

  “No.”

  He takes my hand and I yank it away. His sigh fills the room.

  “Just let me turn on the light. The guards outside will think I’m up reading or something.”

  He doesn’t say anything, so I turn it on.

  His eyes roam over me like he hasn’t had water in years. Greedy, thirsty…full of lust and exhaustion and pain. I don’t understand any of this.

  “You look awful. Tell me what’s going on.”

  “I don’t have much time. I just need you to quit hounding my lawyers about the papers. And stay the hell away from Juan Salvo while you’re at it.”

  My eyes narrow on him. “Juan? That’s what this little break-in is about? Are you mad? Every time I turn on the TV or open my laptop, I see pictures of you with Nadia, and you want to monitor my behavior with Juan?”

  I stand up and his eyes trail down the front of my gown, which of course makes me heated. I groan in frustration.

  He puts his hand on mine again. “Be quiet,” he pleads. “I took a risk in coming here. Please listen to me.”

  “I’m listening, but you’re not really saying anything.”

  He stands up and grabs hold of my arms. He lowers his head and kisses me hard. I’m so shocked at first I kiss him back, like I’m as starved as he is. My senses suddenly rush back and I push him away as hard as I can. He stumbles back and steps forward again.

  “You lay another hand on me and I will kill you myself.”

  He stops mid-step, his eyes filled with hurt, and I feel my body drain of all energy. I start to cry and he comes back toward me, putting his arms around me and hugging me. I let him this time. I cry and cry and cry and he bears the weight.

  When I’m all cried out, he lifts me in his arms and places me on the bed.

  “I’m sorry,” he whispers. His head lowers to his chest and he doesn’t look at me for a long time. He opens his mouth to speak and closes it. He looks as if he’s carrying the weight of the world on his shoulders, far from the boy I met at Kings Passage.