The Lawyers of Mars: Three Novellas

by Pam Uphoff

She dashed back toward the hotel, if she could get the guards to chase her, it might take them longer to realize that everyone was gone.

  She rounded a corner and found herself face to face with Blozolli, two pissed looking S&M fems and some uniformed guards. She dived into the foliage and squirmed through to a parallel path and ran. She could hear excited yelling and instructions to cut her off and dodged down a side path. Looking for, yes, this one, another trail in the maze and as footsteps closed up behind her she sprinted through a big sweeper's root zone. First through, at speed, she was safe. She didn't look back at the yip and crash behind her. The other guards lost ground as they detoured.

  Around a couple of corners she eased carefully between springers, not wanting to trigger the coiled spines that could convince even Martian animals to look elsewhere for something to eat. Two guards caught up with her there, but they didn't realize the penalty for bumping a springer, especially ones of this size and age. They were screaming as she got to the path on the far side and started running again. The question was, were they loud enough to attract the two guards at the far entrance, and had Traveler left the keys in his cart. She found her overlook of the entrance.

  The cart wasn't there. The guards were.

  She doubled back, barely dodged Blozolli and threw herself flat through the door to the pet greenhouse. Blozolli tripped over her, but never hit the ground. His receding scream echoed through the vast space. As flat as she could make herself, she crawled out the doorway.

  She grabbed a long stick from the ground, and used it to fend off a mouth as she cut through a patch. Halfway through, the pseudofems found her, and split up to block her escape. Grinning, the one in purple uncoiled her whip. Xaero pulled one of her stone knives from her boot and sliced off a mid-sized mouth and threw it toward Purple. Purple knocked it aside in midair with the stock of the whip, then shook it in irritation as the mouth clung and gnawed at it. They didn't have much in the way of teeth, just enough to grab and hold on while their highly acid saliva digested their prey. Shaking it splattered the acid around, and Xaero headed toward her, arriving as the acid got through to the fem's scales.

  "Oww! Oww! What is this shit?" She dropped her drool covered whip and stripped her long black glove off, then rubbed a spot on her midriff with her other hand, spreading the acid and getting it on that glove. She rounded on Xaero, but twitched uncontrollably as her hand spasmed. "What did you do to me?"

  Xaero dodged her grab and bolted. "Wash it off," she yelled over her shoulder, heading toward the pond. She took the side trail around the pond full of carnivorous floaters, wondering briefly why the ancestors had saved plants like that.

  There was a splash behind her, then a voice yelling "Get out! Get out quick!" Wet floundering followed by a chatter of two voices. Looked like the floaters were too slow to get fed today.

  Well, that left her with one last option . . . She found the loose pane of the sealed greenhouse, ripped it out and flung it aside, clearly visible atop low foliage, then dodged into the higher foliage, dropping into concealment as the wet and furious fems caught up. They spotted the pane and open window and dived in without thinking. Holding her breath, Xaero retrieved the pane and propped it in place. No point in contaminating the whole complex with vater pollen.

  Silence.

  Xaero backtracked to an observation point over the doors at the cart shed. The guards' bodies still sprawled on the ground around the doors.

  Silence.

  Hadn't Blozolli raised the alarm before he came blasting out here? Hadn't anyone heard the ruckus and screaming? Was there anyone else?

  She regarded the scene below her. The imperial guards had been very efficient; she couldn't see any damage from a stray shot. She gritted her teeth and dashed out to grab one guard and drag him back into the foliage, and then the other. She pulled off her scarf and swept it over the ground, erasing the drag marks.

  That looked better. She could hide in here forever. Guards gone would start some action, but nothing compared to the sight of . . . oh sand. There were two more bodies in the lobby. Cursing herself for a fool, she headed back toward the hotel.

  It was still and quiet, the bodies were still where they had fallen. She looked around and spotted a public lav. Perfect. She dragged them in, one at a time, and tripped the lock on the door before she stepped out and closed it.

  Now, was there anything she needed? Her left hand flexed, automatically, and she realized she'd left her briefcase . . . somewhere. It still had the masks, oxygen bottles and water she'd brought to rescue Raelphe. With it she could walk out of here anytime she needed to. She'd . . . put it down just before G'sele rushed the guards in the dungeon . . . she thought. She was pretty sure.

  Chewing a claw and knowing she was just begging to be caught, and sand only knew what they'd do to her when they found all their dead colleagues, she opened the door to the stairwell and headed down.

  When she heard the door slam below her she turned and bolted upwards. Get out at the lobby? Or go further up, past level six? As she passed the lobby level the door opened.

  She spun around and found herself face to face with Traveler.

  "Why, Miss L'svages, you weren't going to leave without saying goodbye, were you?"

  "Oh." She tried to breath normally, rather than pant as if she'd been running all over the complex, up and down stairs, dragging bodies, stealing carts . . . "I just couldn't resist a stroll in the moonlight." She backpedaled, and eased up a step. If he hadn't found out what had happened in the dungeon, far be it from her to lead him there.

  He snaked out a hand and grabbed her wrist. "Let's take the elevator, shall we?" He tugged her out of the stairwell, and over to the elevator. "I just need to ream a couple of guards who seem to have left their posts. Then we'll get you home, so to speak."

  He backed her into the elevator, and punched the sixth and penthouse buttons. "It won't take but a millisplit to roust the sluggards."

  As the door slid shut behind him she realized it was time to try to distract him. She lifted her captive hand, "Why, Traveler, I didn't know you cared!" And leaned forward to give him a good solid bite on the nearest cheek flare.

  She hadn't realized how fast those hormones, endorphins, euphorics and hallucinogens worked.

  Chapter Eight

  "Well, that'll teach me to believe a male who acts like a pseudo," she muttered, looking around the hot pool and wondering when and how she had gotten there.

  "Ha!" Traveler glared at her. "I am a, well, I was a pseudo. Oh sand! Oh bloody freezing dry SURFACE!" He climbed out of the pool. "Do you have any idea how this complicates my life?"

  "It means you'll be in a different wing of the imperial prison real soon now." Speaking of dry and cold, she thought. Depression washed over her and she slumped back against the rocks. "Where's my watch? What time is it?" She looked up through the glass ceiling. No moons and the sky was lighter to the east. Splits had passed, she thought, glancing uneasily down her body. She didn't remember much at all, and hoped fervently that the blood flow changes were not permanent.

  Traveler looked around baffled. "I haven't a clue. Where the . . . are my clothes. All I'd need would be to be bare tailed naked when the imperials show up."

  "You know they're coming?" She yelped.

  "As soon as Fensteri sends them," he said. "I sent him off with Gergi this morning. Or yesterday morning, by now, I suppose."

  "You sent him? You?" she boggled. What the . . . ?

  "I am a DMS undercover agent. Yes. I swapped him for L'azlod in the dungeon yesterday morning. Stupid scrape tail thought I was going to take the prince out and murder him, so L'azlod could take his place."

  "Umm." Xaero choked. "Umm, then I suppose that my breaking the prince and the imperials troops out of your dungeon and sending them off in all your carts a few dozen splits ago probably wasn't a good idea after all."

  "You didn't. Please tell me you didn't." He sounded stunned.

  "Did," she retorted. "Mayb
e you better find some communications gear and call someone."

  He reached high into a shrub, pulled out one of her boots, and threw it at her.

  She saved it from a watery landing, then ruefully figured it was a bit late for modesty and climbed out of the pool to join the clothes hunt.

  Other boot, skirt, scarf, watch with broken band. She supposed she should just be glad she'd somehow managed to get out of the boots before getting into the pool. Scarf carefully arranged over her masticated flares (ouch! Bloody friggin' . . . ) and carrying her boots, she followed Traveler toward a new part of the penthouse jungle while trying to tie the belt of her skirt.

  Traveler was cute in his kilt and nothing else. She kicked herself mentally. Sandy hormones.

  His executive sized fake rock included a whirlpool bath and high tech communications gear. None of which seemed to be working.

  Oops. "Umm, one of the imperial troops took some shots at something high up."

  He thumped his head on the desk. "The antennas."

  "We could walk," she offered tentatively. He didn't look terribly surface worthy.

  "Well, yes, of course, General Ilia." He snapped sarcastically.

  She hissed in irritation. "I'm General Ilia's granddaughter. I spend tons of time on the surface, although I do have to take oxygen with me. It's fifty thousand strides to the space base." She glanced at the chron on his equipment. "I can be there by sundown."

  "We can be there." He headed for his closet and started pulling out heavy protective clothing. She grabbed a towel and dried her feet and legs before pulling on the boots.

  "The troops took all the masks at the outer doors. I have two in my briefcase, which I abandoned at the bottom of the stairwell." She told him.

  "All right, that's the first stop."

  "Second. Kitchen for food and water. Drink all the water you can stand, right now. I'll be right back." Xaero jogged to the dining patio, then veered off down the path the waiter always came from. The kitchen offered little in the way of ready to eat trail food, but she grabbed a bag of fruit and a jug of water from the cooler. She wavered uncertainly, then tested the door in the nearest rock. Ugg. Definitely a fem's room. The rock across, ah, yes, this looked like Blozolli's. A comp was sitting on the desk, with a rack of memory crystals. The label "backup" caught her eye. She grabbed it and tucked it into her skirt pocket.

  Traveler met her at the elevator and they headed down. The lobby was still empty, ditto the stairwell. Her case was, thank sand, still sitting on the lowest level, with, oh joy! She'd forgotten about Blozolli's play coats. She hoped they were well made accessories, if there was a sand storm they'd need them.

  She grabbed the case and coats and dashed back up the stairs.

  In the lobby, Traveler darted over to a closet behind the reception desk and pulled out two little electric scooters. "They only have a range of about ten kstrides." He said dubiously.

  "That's ten less we'll have to actually walk." She said, jerking out the shoulder strap on her briefcase and slinging it over her shoulder. She tossed the coats awkwardly over her other shoulder and wheeled the scooter out the doors.

  They cruised at about double her walking pace, she noted appreciatively. At the doors she pulled the masks out of the briefcase with their attached oxy bottles, and filled the case with extra bottles from the guards' supplies. She could go all day on one, but Traveler . . . She really wasn't sure how much he might need.

  "Wear this," she shoved Blozolli's coat at him.

  He gave it a horrified look, but put it on. Then turned abruptly away from her when she donned the rainbow metallic twelve collared version. "You didn't have these in your briefcase." He choked. "I would remember these!"

  "Blozolli brought them to me this morning. He was in the mood for some play acting." She frowned. "Poor guy. Never thought I'd say that." She wondered if the pets were still throwing him around and whether he was still alive. She buckled the belt and hitched the coat up so it wouldn't tangle the wheels. He followed her example.

  Having gotten control of himself, Traveler pounced on a sack and stuffed the last two oxy bottles into it, and then awkwardly holding it, opened the doors and ushered her out.

  She set her mask on the lowest setting, and checked that his was higher. "If you start feeling acidy, bump that up a notch."

  "Right."

  She led off, heading north.

  The ground was smooth, lightly sanded with scattered rocks and rising toward the foothills. There were no tracks in sight, in the early dawn light.

  "Is there a road or anything, something they followed?"

  "Nope, although we did knock down some canyon edges years ago to make sure we could get there at need." His voice was slurred, he obviously wasn't used to the strap that wrapped the upper jaw and held the mask in place over the nostrils.

  "Well, the space base is hard to miss, being a surface installation. How do you find . . . what was the name of that little town we met in?"

  "Sedna. With a compass and great difficulty, although once you know how to recognize the excavation dumps from the natural terrain it isn't that difficult." He replied.

  "That may explain why the Dims and/or locals haven't shown up," she said, her gizzard churning. "Captain G'sele, Raelphe, Gold and Silver headed that way. They may be lost. I told them how Blozolli mentioned finding Daeda. I didn't consider that he might have been lying."

  He shot a look her way then returned to watching for rocks. "So, you suborned the fems, did you?"

  "Raelphi gets credit for that. I can't believe they belong to a serious terrorist organization."

  "They don't," he said, "They belong to a myth in their minds, of the all-knowing and all-loving environmental movement. When the serious branch of the REM took over Sun Town, I tried to ship them off with the other wooly heads, but they somehow stuck. I sidelined all their interactions with the rough stuff as much as I could. When all this blew up, they were perfect for keeping Raelphe out of trouble."

  They crested a low ridge, and Xaero released the throttle, letting the scooter coast downhill. They might get quite a bit more than ten kstrides out of these things, with luck.

  They hit their first obstacle at the base of the slope, a deep steep sided arroyo.

  "I think the crossing we made is to the left." Traveler told her, but she was studying the fallen blocks of rock just to the right.

  "We can cross here, save some distance," she told him, jumping to the first ledge and reaching up to drag her scooter over the edge.

  "You're kidding?" He looked down at her like the single stride drop was the Great Canyon.

  "C'mon, Cave Breath, you can do it."

  With a glare, he did.

  By the time they hauled out the other side he was doing very well, apparently having decided that rock climbing was fun.

  After a few more hills they were pushing the powerless scooters. It was worth the effort, to be able to coast down the far sides, but as the hills steepened and roughened, they finally abandoned them. The wind was picking up, and Xaero climbed to the top of a rock to study the route ahead before it got too dusty to see far. They needed to cross two more hills, then along the spine of that ridge for maybe another twenty thousand strides . . .

  "So tell me, how did L'azlod manage to capture Crown Prince Fensteri?"

  "His killer fems lured Fensteri, complete with disapproving guards, into the Misfits' Haven, then released vater. Their plan was for Blozolli to remove and dispose of the prince, while L'azlod took his place. They had a backup plan, in case any of the guards noticed the switch, that involved blowing the place up with the guards inside and L'azlod out. When L'azlod spotted the local Icefire police sniffing around the Haven, he led them off, but didn't manage to slip them. His arrest totally blew the planned scenario. Left with a tavern full of unconscious imperial guards and a crown prince, Blozolli's first impulse was to start slitting throats. Fortunately he's big on passing the guilt, always wants someone else to give the orde
r, absolving him of blame in his own head. He called 'Traveler' and asked me what to do. I didn't think 'walk away' would work, so I told him to bring Fensteri and about half the guards, to Sun Town and we'd do the substitution later, have them escape."

  "The rest of the guards must have . . . "

  "You better believe it. I rushed down to Icefire to shut them up and keep it out of the public eye, not to mention see if there were any loose ends I needed to deal with. When Raelphi showed up five days later, sneaking around like a . . . I figured he was either a Union or Cimmi Cliffs agent and wrapped him up safe. It quickly became clear he was just a young idiot playing spy, but at the time." Traveler shrugged. "And then you showed up in Sedna. Sand, every time I turned around some damn lawyer was popping up."

  She snorted in amusement. "So they swapped, and you send the crown prince off, safe and sound." She shook her head. "And I released the bad guy. That'll teach you to kidnap my nephew." They lapsed back into silence and kept walking.

  She made sure Traveler was drinking regularly. He was already on his third bottle of oxy, and she only had three left. She set a good pace diagonally across the next rolling ridge.

  By midmorning the wind was moving sand, and she was glad for her boots. Traveler's shoes looked reasonably tough, but they wouldn't protect his ankles from sand abrasion. He was limping and gasping by the time they crested the final hill and could look down at the space base. She handed him the last oxy bottle and led the way down.

  With so little surface activity, the surface security for the Space base was apparently minimal, and no doubt mostly electronic. They passed several welcoming signs, then started passing warning signs, and still no one was showing up to either greet or arrest them.

  "This is ominous." Traveler looked around. "Also annoying. I haven't the faintest idea of how to get in if they won't come out."

  And no more oxygen, Xaero thought.

  After another few hundred strides they found a locked access door, mounted at a slant in a box barely large enough for it.

  Traveler growled wordlessly and fished some small tools out from beneath the bulky coat. He had the door open in a few millisplits. A vertical ladder led downwards, and a stiff wind blew upwards from the pressurized shaft.