Willing Surrender

by Hole, Carrie

“I’ve put in a proposal for a local band album cover. We’ve emailed back and forth a couple of times and it looks very promising. I’m feeling pretty excited about it. It probably won’t be ready to start for another few weeks though.”

  “Very cool! You’ll totally get it, and be awesome.” Amy beamed. “What are you gonna do with yourself, in the meantime?”

  Reina laughed, “Oh, you know...sleep late, drink coffee, take a nap…”

  “We should do something else fun this weekend. Let’s go to Rock City tomorrow!”

  “That actually does sound like fun. We haven’t been there in forever. It’s a maybe, and only if I don’t have to get up early!”

  “Deal! I’ll make sure the coffee is ready and buy breakfast. Maybe, if I’m sneaky, I can talk you into going to the last day of the River Music Festival on Sunday.” She had that mischievous look in her eye again.

  “You really are pushing it today, Amy. No, you know I love music, but it always gets crazy crowded.”

  “We’ll see,” she smirked. “Beer one finished. Let’s do a shot, put some music on, and play pool!”

  “I’ll do one shot.”

  “Hey Joe! Two lemon drops, and two more beers please,” Amy called to the end of the bar.

  “Sure thing, coming right up.” He handed them each a fresh bottle of beer, and poured their shots in front of them. “There you go ladies.”

  “Thank you Joe,” Reina smiled.

  Amy held up her glass, “To endless nights of steamy sex!”

  “Well, guess I have to drink to that.” she laughed, blushing slightly, and down it went.

  They picked music together, playfully teasing each other. The jukebox had a surprisingly good selection of music, everything from 70’s rock to current pop, and even some bluesy choices. Between the two of them, they had selected quite the eclectic playlist. They chose the pool table closest to the window and started setting up balls. Neither of them were very good, but they loved to play. The only rule they followed: Reina was always solids, Amy was always stripes. Beyond that, all tactics were fair play. Within an hour, they had finished their second beer, and a second shot. Reina hadn’t planned on drinking too much; she didn’t drink that often these days. Her tolerance was definitely not as strong as it used to be. She was feeling warm, fuzzy and happy. They were debating another beer, when the music stopped. They let out exaggerated moans and groans, arguing over who was going to pick the next round. Amy won, but as she turned towards the jukebox, they heard guitars in the corner. Someone was playing a cover of “Autumn Breeze” by Perfect Confusion.

  “I love this song,” Reina exclaimed excitedly. She started to walk towards the music then froze. “No way. Not possible, no freaking way.”

  “Oh my God, that’s Seth Evans, the lead singer for Decayed Illusions! Holy hotness!” She dramatically fanned herself.

  Amy was right, Seth was hot. He was the perfect combination of a sea god and a rock star. His sun kissed blonde hair fell in beachy waves, to the tops of his shoulders. Ocean blue eyes smoldering with playfulness and sin. None of that mattered to Reina; all she could see was her celebrity crush, James Beaston, sitting next to him. Somehow, he was in her bar, playing a guitar, and singing a song she loved. Her world tilted, as though she’d somehow stepped into some alternate universe.

  James was Reina’s epitome of sexy fantasy come to life. He was the kind of handsome that stopped you in your tracks. He was 6’2” with broad shoulders. His charcoal hued tee fit snug against his muscled, athletic chest and biceps; His distressed black, relaxed fit jeans, hung over black nubuck boots. He had dark hair, in a classic clipper cut, and a neatly trimmed goatee, with a hint of stubble accentuating his squared jaw line. His strong cheekbones were highlighted by his straight edged nose and sensually penetrating, deep set eyes.

  “Oh, I am definitely saying ‘Hello’ to him tonight,” Amy sighed, with a determined look in her eye.

  “Amy, No! Seriously, no and no.”

  “There is no way in hell I am passing up on this chance.” Amy walked towards them and sat at the nearest table. Leaving Reina alone, whispering “No.” Seth actually looked up and smiled at Amy. This cannot be happening, Reina mused. She couldn’t bring herself to follow Amy, so back to the bar she went.

  Joe was getting drinks for a couple at the end of the bar. While she waited, she sat on a bar stool and tried to make her fuzzy brain cooperate. She wasn’t messy drunk, but she was a little over the tipsy line. As Joe walked to her she said, “I think I’m going to need another beer.”

  Over her right shoulder a husky voice, with a faint Australian accent spoke. “Make that two.”

  Reina knew that voice. She slowly turned to find James standing next to her. As she looked up, he unconsciously wet his lips, drawing her attention to his mouth; his full, perfectly kissable lips. Her heart sped up, while her brain seemed to go blank. She couldn’t look away. He gave her a small smile, and the spell was partially broken. Had he spoken? Oh God, had he asked her something, while she was staring at his lips?

  Blushing, Reina looked up. “I’m sorry, I, ummm...I...your nearness seems to be affecting my brain function.” Holy crap, she had actually just said that, out loud. “Or maybe it was that last shot,” she mumbled. “I normally don’t drink that much, and my friend totally took advantage of me. Well, not, she didn’t....”

  He smiled bigger, showing dimples, making him even sexier. He held out his hand, “James,” He said.

  She shook his hand. It was large, and lightly calloused, making hers feel small and feminine. “Reina,” She smiled. “Reina Hessman.”

  “Mind if I sit here?”

  Her brain seemed to auto replay his words. He was asking if he could sit next to her? “Uh, sure,” she replied hesitantly. “I swear I’m not always an idiot.” She joked.

  He chuckled at her. “So, are you from here, or just visiting?”

  He was making small talk with her? She knew she was blushing, and couldn’t make it stop. “Well, I’m originally from Indiana, but I’ve lived here for a long time now, long enough to call it home. What brings you here, if you don’t mind me asking?” She’d actually made a complete sentence. At least her brain wasn’t entirely failing her.

  “My friend Seth actually. He’s originally from Signal Mountain, and I had some time before I go back to work, so we’re just passing through, so to speak.”

  “Ah. You guys play great together. I love that song. Have you been playing a long time?”

  “A little here and there. When you hang around Seth long enough, you just sort of pick it up. The man always has a guitar with him. What other kinds of music do you like?”

  “I don’t know, I mean, that’s a loaded question,” She laughed at herself. “There are so many eras and genres, so much great music. There’s different music for every range of emotion, so I really couldn’t pin it down like that.”

  He tilted his head at her, as if he was weighing her answer. With a devilish twinkle in his eye he asked, “What music fits your emotions now?”

  She could feel her face heating up. She was about to start stammering all over herself again, but Amy showed up to save her. Almost.

  “Hey, we’re all gonna share a cab back to our place.”

  “What? No.” She shook her head, almost panicked. “No.”

  “Yep! Seth and I are going to hang out, so we’ll all play cards...or something,” Amy replied, with glee, as she looped her arm through Reina’s and led her out the door. Reina glanced back, both men followed, chatting and joking. She knew she had to be drunk. Her life had somehow taken a new turn into crazyland.

  Amy, Reina, and Seth squeezed in the back; James sat in the front. In a blur of talking and laughter, they were home, and stumbling through the door. Amy jovially gave them a little tour, and then scavenged the kitchen for drinks and snacks. Reina grabbed water and some ibuprofen. As exciting as it was to meet a celebrity, or two, she knew she’d drank enough to be done. She looked up, on h
er way out. “It was awesome to meet you guys. I mean, incredibly awesome, but, um, yeah. I’m going to lie down now,” Amy started to try to dissuade her, but she waved and kept right on going. “Goodnight.” What she didn’t notice, was James watching her, intrigued.

  Amy followed her to her bedroom door. “Reina, what are you doing? Your fantasy boyfriend is in our house, and you’re going to bed? What the hell?”

  “Amy, we ran around all day, and I drank more than I planned to. I’m not going to be some drunk, middle aged fangirl making a fool of herself.”

  “You are not middle aged,” She replied, crossly.

  “I’m also not sober enough to make good decisions. I’m just...I’m not that girl. I’ll see you in the morning.” She closed the door, drank most of her water, and passed out.

  Chapter 4

  Reina woke with dragon breath and a slight headache. Whatever time it was, it seemed too damn early. She glanced at the clock, and realized it was 10:17 a.m. Ok, not that early. She deliberated going back to sleep, but heard faint sounds coming from the kitchen. Memories of the night before surfaced slowly, or what seemed like memories, too unreal to be true. The best thing to do was find Amy, and get the scoop. She brushed her teeth, and slipped on her short robe. The general rule was that guys didn’t stay over, but just in case. She stumbled out of her room, fiddling with her robe tie. As she looked up, she started, “Ok, Amy, tell me what the hell…” Except it wasn’t Amy in her kitchen, it was James. “You’re not Amy,” She muttered.

  “Nope,” He smiled.

  She tilted her head, trying to process. “You’re in my house.”

  “Yeah, sorry. It got late, so I crashed on the couch.”

  “You slept on my couch?” He chuckled at her. This was all vaguely familiar. Why couldn’t she stop repeating everything? As if it simply being morning wasn’t bad enough. She glanced down, and quietly laughed at herself. She took a couple more steps then stopped again. “You made coffee?”

  He shrugged. “I’ve been up for a bit. I also remembered your shirt.”

  She looked at him, eyebrows drawn together. “My shirt?”

  “The key to your heart is coffee,” He smiled.

  She gave him a mock scowl. “Cute.” She replied, sarcastically. He gave her a huge smile, clearly amused. As she neared the coffee pot, she expected him to step away. He didn’t. He stood next to her, lazily leaning his hip against the counter. She tried to concentrate, but he was incredibly distracting. Pour sugar, check. Pour coffee, check. As she reached for her favorite caramel creamer, she gave him a sidelong glance. He was casually watching her, so she gave him the “what do you think you’re doing” look. She looked away, gave a small huffing sigh, grabbed her laptop, and sat on the opposite side of the breakfast bar. “I’m sorry, I’m not trying to be rude, but I have to send a few business emails this morning.”

  “Do you mind me asking what you do?”

  “I have my own graphic design business. Just me, no employees or anything. Mostly book covers, logos, website design, blog design, and a smattering of other things.”

  “Good on ya. Did you go to school for it?”

  She gave a soft snicker, and continued typing. “No. My major was Anthropology, but over time I realized it wouldn’t ever pay for itself. I had these grand ideas of discovering ancient mysterious, but the reality is grants are hard to come by, and I didn’t want to be a professor. Don’t get me wrong, I highly respect teachers, it just wasn’t for me. I couldn’t come up with anything else I wanted to pay to do forever, so I ended up not finishing. Designing was more of a hobby, but it somehow blossomed, and here I am.”

  “Impressive. Would you show me?”

  “You want to see my designs? Uh, yeah, sure. Let me finish up and I’ll open my portfolio.”

  He rounded the breakfast bar and pulled up the stool next to her. Instantly, all of her senses intensified. She could feel his body heat. Her heart skipped a few beats and her cheeks flushed. Her feminine instinct wanted to lean into his heat, her brain gave off warning bells to run. Breathe normally. Keep it together. She thought to herself. She clicked open her portfolio album.

  “Here, you can skip through, and have a look.” He reached for the mouse as she pulled back. His hand brushed her arm, sending shock waves straight down her spine. She all but jumped out of her seat. “I’m going to refill my coffee.” His eyes followed her, as she retreated. She took her time getting coffee, trying to regain her bearing. Hoping her face wasn’t flaming, she turned around, mug in hand. Instead of sitting back down, she leaned against the counter. Her eyes were drawn to him as he scanned the screen.

  He glanced up at her. “You have real talent. I’m not a professional, but you have some amazing designs.”

  His compliment pleased her, more than it probably should. “Thank you,” She replied shyly.

  Before she could embarrass herself, Amy made an appearance. She came shuffling down the hallway with bedhead and raccoon eyes. Interesting. Not far behind was Seth; the “just rolled out of bed” look suited him. As they came in for coffee, Reina scooted down a bit, but waited to see where everyone settled. She wasn’t in a hurry to sit back down next to James. Seth sat on James’ far side; Amy sat at their small dining room table, behind the breakfast bar. Reina sat across from Amy, with her back to James.

  Seth spoke up, “What do you ladies have planned today?”

  Amy looked at Reina, and winked. “Actually, we’re spending the day at Rock City. You boys wanna tag along?”

  Seth motioned to James. They were obviously having a silent conversation. “Rock City sounds like a good time to me.”

  James studied Reina over his shoulder. “What do you think Reina; do you want to go to Rock City?”

  Reina gave Amy the evil eye then peered at James. The man was obviously trying to make her uncomfortable. “Well, I’m already going.”

  He quirked his eyebrow at her. Accepting the challenge, he asked, “Can I come to Rock City with you?”

  She narrowed her eyes at him, slightly. “Sure, I guess.”

  “Yes?”

  She hesitated, why was he being so obstinate? His gaze was both amused and commanding. Time seemed to both stop and stretch between them. “Yes,” she finally replied. She felt as though her answer meant something more elusive, just beyond her grasp. As he continued to watch her, he smiled. Her heart did a triple beat, and she looked away, flustered.

  “Great,” Seth piped up. “If you want, I can drive. We'll go shower and stuff, come back by and pick you up. Let’s say in maybe an hour and a half or so?”

  “Sound good to me,” Amy replied.

  Great! Reina thought. Now there was no escape, unless she chickened out completely and stayed home, which Amy would never let her get away with.

  Seth stood up, “Well, let's do it then.” He looked at Amy suggestively, and she giggled.

  As they neared the door James called back, “See you soon.”

  “It would seem so,” Reina replied sarcastically. He chuckled at her, clearly unperturbed. As soon as the door closed, she rounded on Amy. “What the hell are you up to,” she demanded.

  Amy gave her the owl eyed ‘what could you possibly mean’ look. “I'm just thinking about having a fun day. Don't have much time, better get ready.” She sauntered away, humming to herself.

  Reina bristled. Obviously there was a cosmic conspiracy at work here. She huffed her way to her room, and jumped in the shower. If that's how Amy wanted to play it, she’d just use all the hot water. She didn't put any extra effort into getting ready. She put on comfy jeans, a t-shirt, sneakers, and no make-up. She put a scrunchie on her wrist, for later, and she was ready to go.

  She sat at the table, picking at a muffin, expecting to be waiting a while. Surprisingly, Amy was out within ten minutes wearing basic shorts, a t-shirt, basic make-up and hair in a ponytail. Reina gave her a disbelieving look. “Who are you and what have you done with my best friend?”

  “I decid
ed to be comfortable.”

  “Are you sick?”

  “Nope, just feeling content today.”

  “What the hell did Seth do to you?”

  Amy's eyes twinkled. “I'll never tell,” she laughed.

  Reina was debating whether she had fallen down the rabbit hole, or somehow stepped into the twilight zone, when there was a knock at the door. Amy answered, with a little dance in her step. “Our ride is here,” she called out in a sing song way. Twilight zone. Definitely the twilight zone. She put her license, debit card, chapstick, and a little cash in her pockets. As they neared the car, she forced a reluctant Amy into the back seat with her. She could feel James’ eyes on her, and she studiously avoided looking at him.

  Although Rock City was less than 30 minutes away, the ride was calming and beautiful. They wound their way up the mountain, surrounded by rock formations, lush trees, and wildflowers in full bloom. As they got out of the car, she noticed James look at her shirt and grin. She looked down, and realized she’d worn her other new coffee shirt, “You had me at coffee.” She rolled her eyes and shook her head. His behavior was unnerving. She was extremely attracted to him, but she was also no fool. The man was a celebrity. He had thousands of fangirls; she was just a fan, in a sea of fans.

  Rock City was an amazing place to spend the day. It could get crowded, but was worth it. Full of natural wonders, waterfalls, flowers, wildlife, places to squeeze through and go inside, a 180-ft long swinging bridge, Lover’s Leap (where you could see 7 states), cafes with good food, and places for children as well. As the day went on, Reina became more relaxed. They stayed in their little group, and took their time, telling stories and talking about life. Luckily Amy had a knack for keeping the conversations light and breezy. They took pictures and laughed together, like old friends. Reina would occasionally look up to see James watching her, but she’d just smile and look away. Too bad it seemed her eyes had a mind of their own, they were drawn to him, like magnets.

  On the ride home, they were chatting about what to do with the rest of the night. “We could order pizza, start the fire pit and have a couple of beers,” Amy offered. Reina scowled at her, but the day had been fun, so she wasn’t completely opposed.