CLICK CLICK
Okay, that was definitely a noise. I rolled out of Owen’s arms and sat up as quietly as I could. While I looked over my shoulder to make sure he wasn’t waking up, I swung my legs over the side of the bed and stood. Owen rolled over and clutched my pillow to his chest, burying his face in the softness.
CLICK CLICK CLICK CLICK
The noise seemed to be coming from the window, and I walked over slowly to see if there was a branch tapping the glass. Just as I reached the window another CLICK sounded, and I saw a small object hit the glass.
I looked out and saw a single violet-colored rose on the lawn, directly below my window. My breath stilled in my throat as suddenly it all seemed familiar — the sound, the rose…
…CLICK CLICK
I threw the blankets off and grabbed my robe, tying it on as I rushed over to the window. I pulled it open and stuck my head out into the cool night air. I smiled when I saw, directly below my window on the lawn, a single violet-colored rose.
“Cam?” I whispered into the night, trying not to wake my parents who were asleep in the next room.
He stepped out from behind a tree with a bunch of roses, which he held up in the air as if presenting them to me.
My heart beat frantically in my chest at the sight of him, just as it did every time he was near me. Seeing him standing with a bunch of roses gave me hope that he might like me as much as I liked him. I’d been hoping for weeks that our friendship might progress into something more intimate, but every time I thought he was about to kiss me, he’d pull back. I’d been starting to lose hope — until now.
“I’ll come down,” I whispered, a joyous grin breaking over my face.
I couldn’t believe I was so happy about Cameron sneaking over. We’d met a few weeks earlier in a coffee shop in Hartford when we were forced to share a table because it was so busy. We’d done the polite chit-chat thing and discovered we both lived in Fairfield. His family had moved a few months before, and even though he was twenty-one and could have stayed in San Diego alone, he’d decided to move with them.
We’d agreed to see each other again for coffee the following week, and we got along very well. Being with Cameron was easy, and I found myself telling him things I’d never shared with anyone. I fell for him quickly and had been in a state of near-constant happiness since we started seeing each other daily.
I was almost a year out of high school and hadn’t really found any direction in my life. My mother was pressuring me to start college, and my father was trying to convince me to go to the police academy. College had sounded like a pretty good idea until I found Cameron, but now the thought of leaving Fairfield for four years was unbearable.
I opened my bedroom door as quietly as I could. It made a slight creaking sound when I had it about half open, so I held it steady and squeezed myself through the gap without opening it any further. Tiptoeing down the stairs, I brushed my fingers through my hair and tried to make it look neat before opening the front door and slipping outside.
Cameron stood on the steps with a big grin to match the one on my face.
“What are you doing here?”
“I had to tell you something,” he said, taking a few steps toward me and handing me the roses. Their sweet scent floated up around me, and I breathed it in deeply.
“What is it?” I took a step closer so we were only a few inches apart.
Cameron looked down into my eyes and cupped my face in his hands. A shiver ran down my spine as I stared up at him, completely mesmerized.
“I…um, I think I love you. Well, I know I do.” He took a deep breath. “I love you, Charlotte,” he finished with a goofy smile.
I stared up into his beautiful face, stunned. I’d never dreamed he might be feeling the same way.
“I love you, Cameron.”
His hands fell from my face and wrapped around my waist, pulling me to him. I could feel his warm breath on my cheek. We gazed into each other’s eyes as his lips moved achingly slowly toward mine.
“I want to kiss you,” he said breathlessly, turning his face slightly so our noses wouldn’t bump. His lips stopped only an inch from mine.
I nodded eagerly, and my eyes fluttered closed just as his soft lips pressed against mine. My whole body melted into his, and my legs turned to jelly. If his arms hadn’t been holding me so tightly, I knew I would’ve fallen over. Our mouths moved together hungrily, and when my lips parted slightly, I felt his warm tongue moving across my bottom lip. As it slipped inside my mouth, he let out a low moan, and I let the roses drop to wrap my arms around his neck, weaving my hands into his hair and pulling his face as close to mine as possible.
I’d kissed boys before, but I’d never experienced anything like this. It was as if we were communicating, expressing ourselves more clearly than we could with words.
When we finally broke apart, he peppered tiny kisses on my lips, my cheeks, and my eyelids before pulling away completely.
“Does this mean we’re going steady now?” he joked…
I stared down at the rose, knowing it could only mean one thing: Cameron was outside. I felt anxious anticipation shiver up my spine as I opened the window.
“Cam?” I whispered as quietly as I could so as not to wake Owen.
He stepped out from behind the tree and gave me a small wave. He appeared to be nervous. His shoulders were hunched, and he wasn’t making eye contact.
“What are you doing here?” I hissed angrily.
“I need to talk to you.”
“No. Just go away. You’ll wake up my father.”
“Please, Char, two minutes,” he begged.
I didn’t know what to do. I could go down there and talk to him or I could close the window, go back to bed, and risk him knocking on the door and waking everybody up, which would make the whole situation much worse.
With a sigh, I decided I should go talk to him, if only to tell him to leave and not come back. But I was pretty sure that wasn’t what I’d say. For some reason, whether I wanted to admit it or not, I longed for Cameron’s company. I shook my head to focus and pictured the huge scene that would play out if Cam woke up Owen and my dad.
I grabbed some shoes and a coat and tiptoed to the bedroom door. I opened it as quietly as I could, and when it started to creak, I squished myself through just as I’d done the last time Cameron left a rose under my window.
I tiptoed down the stairs and stood in the hallway for a moment, preparing myself. Then I put on my shoes and coat, I opened the door, and walked outside. Cameron stood on the steps.
Folding my arms over my chest like a protective barrier, I let out a sigh. “What are you doing here?”
“I need to tell you something. Will you come for a walk with me?”
I thought about it for a moment and nodded. If I yelled at him, which was highly probable, I didn’t want to wake up Owen and my dad.
“A short walk around the block,” I agreed harshly, pushing past him onto the lawn and down the driveway. I didn’t wait for him, but he soon fell into step next to me.
“What do you want to say?” I asked, my arms still folded over my chest.
“I wanted to tell you how sorry I am for ruining your dinner tonight. I honestly didn’t know you’d be there, and I also didn’t mean to be so rude to your boyfriend.”
“Fiancé,” I corrected.
“Excuse me?”
“You called Owen my boyfriend. He’s my fiancé.”
Cameron nodded and looked down at his feet. “Right, sorry. I just didn’t want you to think I went there on purpose. When I saw him sitting there next to you in my parents’ home, like he was part of the family, I just lost my mind a little. I truly am sorry.”
I nodded as we turned the corner and walked toward the small park at the end of the street. I still felt so much anger toward him, but I also felt sympathy. I could remember exactly how it felt to see Cameron and Lucy together, so I knew how hard it must have been to see me with Owen.
“I’m sorry I slapped you.”
Cameron rubbed his cheek and smiled. “I deserved it. That and a lot more.”
We walked into the park in silence, and I sat on one of the swings, slowly moving back and forth with my feet still on the ground.
“Are you happy, Charlotte?” Cameron asked. He stood in front of me with his hands in his pockets.
“I really am. I wasn’t for a long, long time. But I’m finally doing okay.”
“Only okay?” he asked, taking a step toward me and placing his hands on the chains on either side of my head.
I pushed the swing back and ducked out from under him. I was not at all comfortable being that close.
“I’m great.” I plastered a smile on my face that I didn’t really feel.
Cameron looked down at his shoes, but I could see he was smiling.
“I’m really glad,” he whispered. “I want you to be happy.”
An uncomfortable feeling washed over me, and I looked around for something to do so I wouldn’t be standing there staring at him. I moved over to the monkey bars and started to swing across. Once I made it to the other end, I dropped down into the sand and found Cameron watching me with a smile.
“I’ve missed you,” he said simply.
I looked at him. I didn’t look for the man he was when I fell in love with him or the man who’d shattered me. I saw him as the man he was today, and I realized I’d missed him too. I missed the ease of my life when I was with him, how carefree and happy everything seemed. I missed when he was the last person I’d see before I fell asleep every night and the first person I’d see every morning
In that moment, I didn’t want to say something that would hurt him. Right now we were Cameron and Charlotte. The past didn’t matter.
“I’ve missed you too,” I said softly, meeting his gaze.
His eyes burned into mine, and for the first time since we started our walk, the sadness was gone, and he looked like he had some hope. But that hope in his eyes terrified me, and I wondered if it’d been a mistake to meet him tonight.
“I better get home,” I said, turning to walk out of the park. Cameron jogged after me.
“Let me walk you back,” he said softly, standing a little closer to me than I found comfortable.
“No, I’m fine. Thank you for your apology. It’s accepted. Goodbye, Cam.”
I jogged down the street and around the corner. I didn’t stop until I was safely inside the house. Then I slumped against the inside of the door, sliding all the way to the floor.
My fingers ran through my hair and gripped it tightly in frustration. What was I thinking? Did I really tell Cameron I’d missed him and talk to him like we were friends? As if nothing happened?
I banged my head back against the door. I’d been back in Fairfield for only a week and already Cameron had entwined himself in my life. I knew it wasn’t a good idea to come back. In the morning I’d talk to Owen about living in Hartford, I decided. We’d still be close to my dad, it would be way more convenient for Owen’s work, and I wouldn’t have Cameron in my face every day.
This decision made, I felt much calmer as I stood and quietly went back upstairs. I crept silently into my room and discarded my shoes and coat. I climbed back into bed and Owen rolled toward me, spooning me from behind.
Chapter Seven
Everything and Nothing
“I didn’t hear you kids come in last night, how was your dinner?” Dad asked, putting a forkful of eggs into his mouth.
Owen coughed and spat toast crumbs all over the table.
“It was fine,” I replied hesitantly.
“David and Ellen are very nice people,” Owen said stiffly, brushing crumbs off the table around his plate.
“I’m glad. To be honest with you, I was worried it might be an awkward night.” Dad chuckled. He finished his eggs and stood to rinse his plate in the sink. “See ya tonight, kiddo.”
“See ya, Dad,” I called as he ruffled my hair and disappeared out the front door.
Owen and I finished our food without speaking. I wasn’t sure how to broach the subject of living in Hartford with him, or if I should be honest about my reasons.
“Can I talk to you a second?” I asked as Owen stood up.
“Sure.” He sat back down and reached his arm across the table to stroke my hand. “What’s on your mind?”
“I was thinking…it doesn’t seem right for you to have to drive an hour to work every day. Why don’t we just live in Hartford? We’re still close enough to Fairfield that we can visit my dad whenever we like, but it will be more convenient.”
“I’ve already told you that I don’t mind the drive. Fairfield has always been your home, and I want you to be happy.”
“I’ll be happy in Hartford. Fairfield used to be my home, but I left and moved on with my life. I don’t think I belong here anymore.” I was going to try as hard as I could to explain this without dragging Cameron into it. I didn’t see any point in making Owen feel insecure when there was nothing for him to worry about.
“I don’t know — we already put the application in on that house,” Owen mused.
“I know, but we can withdraw it and look for a place in Hartford. Please just think about it?” I asked coyly, raising the tone of my voice slightly and looking up at him through my eyelashes. I knew that was a low thing to do, but I hoped his sexual frustration would play in my favor.
“I guess it wouldn’t hurt to look. The sooner we get our own place, the better.”
“Great! I know this will be much better for us,” I told him cheerfully. I was sure a one-hour buffer was all I needed to stop thinking about Cameron.
Owen and I spent the day together, lazing on the couch and watching some of Dad’s old black-and-white movies. I groaned when Owen dug out the home movies but allowed him to watch as a much younger version of me danced across the screen at my school recital, unwrapped Christmas and birthday presents, and then graduated from high school. I didn’t even realize my dad had kept all these, but it was nice to know he had a part of me with him.
Just after Dad came home from work, Owen set off on his drive back to Boston. He had to be back at work the following morning. I couldn’t wait for the next three weeks to be over so he could be with me all the time.
***
My hands gripped the steering wheel as the car swerved over the road. I tried to hold the wheel steady, but it wasn’t obeying. Quickly I pulled over to the side of the road. Rain poured down and water sprayed up on either side of the car as I stopped at the curb and turned off the engine.
I got out of the car and was drenched within seconds as I walked all the way around it to find a flat tire.
“Shit,” I swore under my breath.
I opened the trunk and stared at the spare and the tire iron. How the hell was I supposed to change the tire? I’d never done it before and didn’t even know where to start.
I jumped back in the car and pulled out my cell phone to dial my dad’s work number.
“Fairfield Police Department, how my I direct your call?” the nasally female voice asked.
“Hey, Margie, it’s Charlotte. Is my dad around?”
“Hey, sugar, he’s out on a call, but I can take a message.”
“Can you please ask him to call me on my cell when he gets back? It’s important.”
“Sure thing, honey.”
As I ended the call, my car shook with the force of the wind blowing off a passing vehicle. I groaned, having no idea what I was going to do. My dad might not call back for hours. Then another car came up the highway, slowed down, and pulled over onto the shoulder just in front of me.
The car door opened and a man climbed out, holding his jacket over his head. He ran up to my window and knocked, so I rolled it down. With the rain-spattered glass out of the way, I realized who it was.
“Cam?”
He peered through the window at me. “Charlotte,” he said with a smile.
“What
are you doing out here?”
“I’m driving to Hartford for a dental conference. What about you?”
“I was driving to Hartford to look…for a house…” I trailed off.
His smile fell briefly, but it was firmly back in place almost before I could register it had been gone. “You’re not staying in Fairfield?”
“Owen and I were thinking of moving to Fairfield, but we’re also looking in Hartford.”
“Do you need a hand?”
“I’m all right. I just have a flat.”
“Let me have a look,” he said, turning to examine my tires.
I got out of my car and ran through the puddles to stand by him while he examined the damage.
“You don’t have to help. My dad will probably call me back and be here soon.”
“Well, I don’t think I can change the tire with this much water on the road anyway, so why don’t I take you home, and then your dad can change the tire for you later tonight?”
I looked at the car and at the water on the road, weighing my options. I didn’t really have many, but I didn’t want help from him. I decided I’d rather sit here in the rain than take a ride with him. I went back around to my door.
“Thanks for the offer, but I’ll just wait for Dad,” I called as I climbed in and slammed the door.
I closed my eyes and willed him to leave, but I knew that wasn’t likely.
Cameron knocked on the window and yelled something I couldn’t hear through the glass. I ignored him and turned on the radio, hoping he’d get the hint. But like the stubborn man I remembered, he kept knocking until I finally gave up and rolled down the window.
“What?” I yelled over the sound of the rain.
“Stop being stubborn! I’m just trying to help you!” he shouted, putting his hands on the open window edge.
“I don’t want your help, Cam.”
“Fine! You can give me gas money if that makes you feel better.” He threw his hands up in frustration.
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