Pieces of Us

by Hannah Downing

  “There sure are a lot of them.”

  “A lot of what?”

  “A lot of his family. New ones keep appearing out of nowhere. Should I be prepared for more?” he asked sarcastically.

  I walked over to run my hands under his shirt and stroke across his chest. I couldn’t imagine how hard this was for him, and he was handling it so much better than I would have in his place. It made me appreciate him so much.

  “I think that’s all of them now,” I assured him, kissing his chin softly.

  “Are they always going to be around?” He wrapped his arms around my waist.

  “Well, Cameron won’t be, but would you mind the others?”

  Owen released me and walked across the room. “I’d prefer if they all just left us alone.”

  “I have a past. I’m sorry about that, but you were the one who wanted to move back here. I haven’t initiated contact with any of them, but the fact is, they’re like family to me, and I don’t want to turn them away.”

  This was a first. Owen and I had never raised our voices to each other. We always talked about issues before they got to the “blow up” stage.

  “They were your family. They aren’t your family anymore. You seem to have trouble making that distinction.”

  I didn’t want to yell at him; he hadn’t done anything wrong. In fact, he’d been more than accepting of the Harpers since we came here. I walked over and rested my hands on his chest, wanting to make things right.

  “Bonnie isn’t a threat to our relationship”

  Owen sighed and looked down at me. “I know that. I don’t know why I’m acting so irrationally.”

  “Are you transferring your concerns about Cameron to his whole family?”

  Owen nodded. “I just feel like he’s never going to be out of your life as long as his family is around. You’ll always be reminded of him, talking about him, and it’ll increase the chances of you seeing him.”

  “Cameron is my past,” I whispered. “I’m in love with you.”

  “I want to believe that,” he said, and both our bodies stiffened.

  “I didn’t mean that,” he said quickly. “I do believe you. I know you love me.”

  “I’m sorry if you feel like I don’t love you enough. I’m giving you everything I can!” I exclaimed, turning away from him.

  Owen’s arms wrapped around me from behind, and he pulled me tightly against his chest.

  “I believe you. I don’t know where that came from. Being here is just much harder than I thought it was going to be. Your ex-husband is everywhere, and I’m terrified he’ll steal you away,” he whispered into my ear, his warm breath sending a shiver down my spine.

  “I’m not going back to him. I’m with you.”

  “I know you are. I know you are,” he whispered, kissing my neck. “I’m sorry I said that.”

  I stood silently in Owen’s arms for a few minutes, unsure of what to say. Everything was going so badly. I’d screamed at Cameron, and now I was having a fight with Owen, who didn’t think I loved him enough.

  Cameron had also thought I didn’t love him. Why couldn’t I express love to the men I cared about? Was I that dead inside? Had my mother’s betrayal somehow turned me into a dry husk? A million questions ran through my mind in an endless loop. I wasn’t sure how I could show my love to Owen in a more effective way, but I was going to try.

  ***

  The next day, Owen packed up to leave early in the morning. He was working the night shift and needed to get some sleep before he reported for work.

  As planned, we’d spent the previous day house hunting in Hartford. But after three houses, lunch at a lovely Thai restaurant, and a few hours in the car, we decided to stop. There just wasn’t anything that seemed like it would work for us. Unfortunately this made the house in Fairfield seem all the more perfect.

  I stood at the front door as he loaded his overnight bag into the trunk. Even though I was managing fine here with Dad, I missed Owen every minute he was away. He came back up the porch stairs to kiss me goodbye.

  “Do you have to leave?” I asked. “Stay, please.”

  “I wish I could, but we only have another two weeks of this. Then I’ll be here all the time.”

  “I know. I just miss you so much when you’re gone.”

  “Two weeks,” he promised, cupping my face gently. His lips pressed against mine, and I automatically sunk into his chest.

  “Drive safely,” I whispered when our mouths parted. He kissed the tip of my nose and then my forehead before walking away.

  ***

  “Charlotte!” Bonnie called when I walked into the diner the following Saturday afternoon. I was a little sweaty from the walk from my house, but the diner wasn’t really that far, and it felt invigorating to be out in the sunshine.

  She sat in a booth in the corner with a noticeably pregnant Sarah next to her. I smiled when I saw Sarah; she’d been very special to me when we were both partners of the Harper sons.

  Sarah was stroking her large abdomen in soothing circles, but she stopped when she saw me and waved. I walked over and sat down across from them in the booth.

  “Hey, Sarah,” I said with a smile.

  “It’s good to see you.”

  “Um, what about me?” Bonnie asked.

  “Sorry, Bonnie, it’s good to see you too,” Sarah said, laughing, though Bonnie looked annoyed.

  “How’ve you been, Bonnie?” I asked, giving Sarah a wink.

  “Oh, I’ve been so good! I have a boyfriend now. His name is Alex, and he’s so wonderful! And the sex, oh, God! Let me tell you, that boy…” She raised her eyebrows, but thankfully left the rest of her thought unsaid.

  “We all know how amazing Alex is in the sack,” Sarah said with disgust. “I want to hear about Charlotte.”

  Bonnie smiled and leaned over the table. “Yes, how is your sex life, Charlotte? Is the new guy any good? He must be if you’re going to marry him!”

  Sarah rolled her eyes, and I burst out laughing.

  “What? We have to get through this stuff quickly before Mom gets here!” Bonnie exclaimed.

  “Ellen’s coming?” I asked.

  “Yeah, I told her we were meeting, and she wanted to come. We’ve only got a few minutes before she arrives. Just enough time to do some girly, dirty talking. Now, spill about the new guy,” Bonnie said, giggling and leaning forward in her seat.

  “Um, well…he’s good.”

  “Oh, come on! We need something juicy!” Sarah begged.

  I shifted in my seat uncomfortably and thought about what I could say. I was never really into the whole dirty-talk-with-my-friends thing, and especially not with my ex-husband’s family. How awkward. But I supposed I should try…

  “Okay, well, when we make love Owen is always really adoring. Like, he strokes me and kisses me the whole time. It’s nice.”

  “So when do we get to meet this Owen?” Sarah asked.

  “I’ve already met him,” Bonnie boasted. “Saw him naked too!”

  Sarah’s mouth fell open, and I jumped in. “Bonnie burst into my house while Owen and I were still asleep, and she saw him topless, not naked.”

  “And?” Sarah asked.

  “And…he’s hot!” Bonnie wailed, covering her face and pretending to cry.

  “Why is that a bad thing?” I asked with a giggle. It was surprisingly nice to talk to people about my relationship with Owen. I’d never really done that.

  “Well, I was hoping he’d be ugly. Then it would be easier for me to get you back with my brother! Owen’s a hottie, so that makes my job harder,” she said, as if it was the most obvious thing in the world.

  “I’m not with Owen because he’s hot!” Did she think I was that shallow? “I love him.”

  Sarah and Bonnie looked at each other quickly and nodded with sympathetic looks in their eyes.

  “What’s this about?” I asked, pointing to their nodding heads.

  “Nothing!” they said at the same ti
me.

  “Sarah?” I asked, knowing she was my best bet for finding out what they meant.

  “Well, it’s just that everyone knows you were meant to be with Cam,” she said while Bonnie nodded her head vigorously.

  I sighed and leaned back.

  “Well, Cam doesn’t seem to agree with you. Maybe you should be having lunch with Lucy.”

  Bonnie and Sarah looked at each other again, confused this time.

  “What are you talking about?” Bonnie asked.

  I wasn’t sure I wanted to delve into the details of my failed marriage, especially since it appeared Cam had left them in the dark. As I pondered what to say, I was thankfully interrupted by Ellen.

  “Oh!” she exclaimed as she walked up to the table. “My three favorite girls in the whole world, all together!”

  Ellen sat next to me and wrapped her arm around my shoulder.

  “So what are we chatting about?”

  I was about to say something neutral like “Oh, just catching up…” when Bonnie jumped in.

  “Charlotte was about to tell us what Lucy has to do with her divorce.”

  At the mention of Lucy, Ellen’s face hardened, and she gripped my shoulder. “I don’t think that’s something that we should talk about here,” she scolded, looking from Sarah to Bonnie.

  I patted her hand, a silent thank you for her consideration.

  “Okay, well, let’s go home then and have a good chat about this. It’s long overdue,” Bonnie said, grabbing her purse and heading for the exit.

  Ellen, Sarah, and I just stared at each other, not sure what to do.

  “Come on, I’ll drive,” Bonnie called, pulling her keys from her handbag.

  We got up and followed her outside.

  “We don’t have to talk about this if you don’t want to,” Ellen assured me as we found Bonnie’s car in the lot. I got in and gave Ellen a smile before she turned and went to her own car.

  We hadn’t been driving long when a siren blared behind us and flashing lights filled the car.

  “Dammit! I was only just speeding,” Bonnie grumbled as she pulled over and lowered her window.

  The policeman approached, and Bonnie groaned when she saw him in the mirror.

  “License and registration, please,” the deep voice said.

  I had to hold back a giggle when I recognized Ryan’s voice. “Hey, baby,” he added when he saw Sarah in the passenger seat.

  “Ryan, I wasn’t even speeding,” Bonnie protested, handing her brother the documents.

  “Do you know how fast you were going back there, ma’am?” Ryan asked in his deep, authoritarian voice.

  “Oh, cut the act. Are you going to give me a ticket or not?”

  “Don’t speak to an officer like that, miss, or I’ll have to arrest you,” he said, chuckling and handing her the papers back. “How’s the morning sickness today, babe?”

  “Not too bad,” Sarah replied, smiling as Bonnie rolled her eyes.

  “Ryan, stop being an idiot!” Bonnie whined.

  Ryan bent down to look into the car. “Oh, hey…Charlotte?”

  “Hey, Ryan,” I said with a small wave.

  “Okay, I’m going to let you off with a warning this time, miss, but watch your speed,” Ryan said, winking at me and walking back to his car.

  “Stupid Ryan,” Bonnie grumbled, pulling the car back out onto the road.

  As nervous as I was about the conversation we’d have when we arrived at Ellen’s, I was smiling — a real, genuine smile. It had been so long since I spent time with these people I loved, and who I knew loved me too. It was nice. It was just a shame Cameron came with the package.

  After we pulled up behind Ellen’s car in the driveway, I helped Sarah stand and guided her and her growing midsection into the house. I sat on the same loveseat I’d sat on the week before with Owen and waited. I wasn’t sure if I was ready to go through the whole explanation and the undoubtedly explosive reaction Bonnie would have, but their lives had all been affected by Cameron’s actions too.

  “So…Lucy?” Bonnie asked, once everyone was seated.

  I sighed and glanced at Ellen, who gave me an encouraging look.

  “Lucy and Cam were seeing each other while we were married,” I whispered.

  Bonnie and Sarah both gasped loudly, and Bonnie shot out of her chair to pace around the room. Sarah mumbled something under her breath that sounded like swearing, but I couldn’t quite make it out.

  “While you were married? You mean before you left him?” Bonnie clarified. “Because we knew they dated after you left.”

  I nodded. “Yes, she was the reason I left.”

  “That fucking bitch!” Bonnie yelled.

  “Bonnie!” I scolded, looking at Ellen and silently apologizing with my eyes.

  “No, she’s right. Lucy is a fucking bitch,” Ellen said.

  “You knew about this?” Bonnie asked her mother incredulously.

  “Charlotte told me last week when she came for dinner with Owen.”

  “Well, I’m going to talk to Cam about what a moron he is,” Bonnie said firmly.

  “I’ve already done that, dear. It didn’t change anything,” Ellen told her.

  “What did you say to him?” I asked. “You both looked so sad when you came down the stairs.”

  Ellen sighed and shifted in her seat.

  “I asked him what he’d been thinking. He didn’t really want to give me any answers; he just kept saying he needed to talk to you before he could explain anything to me. So I told him I was disappointed in him and he’d broken my heart.”

  “You let him off easy. I would have yelled and thrown things,” Bonnie said, continuing to stomp around the room.

  “I’m sorry, Ellen,” I whispered.

  “No, I’m sorry, Charlotte. I’m sorry my son treated you so badly. I didn’t raise him to behave that way, and I’m deeply ashamed of him.”

  “What did he tell you happened between us?”

  “He didn’t say much. We asked him over and over what had happened, and all he would say was that he’d ‘messed up.’ He wouldn’t give any details.”

  “I know Ryan tried to talk with him as well but got a similar response. All he would say was he wished he could make it right,” Sarah said, rubbing her hand over her swollen abdomen.

  “That’s it. I’m going to talk to him right now!” Bonnie threatened, walking back over to the couch to get her purse.

  “He’s at work. You can’t interrupt his appointments,” Ellen said firmly.

  Bonnie thought for a moment before an evil smile broke over her face. She grabbed her cell phone and quickly dialed a number.

  “Hello, I need to see Dr. Harper today. I have a terrible toothache,” she said into the phone. “I’m his sister Bonnie…See you then…Thanks very much.”

  She hung up and smiled.

  “He had a cancellation at two o’clock, and they can see me right away. I now have a whole hour booked with him, and no one will interrupt,” she said smugly.

  “Now hang on — ” I began, but Sarah was trying to stand, and I stopped talking as I rushed over to help her.

  “Let’s stop in at Dad’s surgery on our way and give Lucy a hard time too!” Sarah laughed.

  “Oh, why didn’t I think of that?” Bonnie squealed.

  Bonnie and Sarah walked out the front door, and I heard Bonnie’s car start.

  “We’d better go with them to make sure they don’t get into trouble,” Ellen said, heading for the door.

  I stayed on the couch, not really wanting to watch the drama that was about to unfold. I couldn’t think of anything I wanted less than to see Lucy. Just the thought of it had my palms sweating and pulse racing.

  Ellen looked back over her shoulder and saw me still on the couch.

  “Everything okay, dear?” she asked.

  “I think I’ll just go home. The walk will do me good. I don’t want to be involved with whatever’s going to go on.”

 
Ellen sat down next to me on the loveseat. “I know Cameron and Lucy are probably the last people you want to see, but maybe it will help you put this behind you if you can confront them.”

  I considered that she might be right. It would give me a chance to evaluate the situation after the conversation Cameron and I’d had in the forest.

  I nodded and Ellen took my hand.

  “If you want to leave, just let me know and we’ll go right away,” she assured me as we stood and went out to her car. We followed Bonnie and Sarah to Cameron’s office.

  As we drove into town, I closed my eyes. I wasn’t as concerned about seeing Cameron as I was about facing Lucy. I hadn’t seen her since that day at the grocery store five years ago, and I was terrified that all those emotions would come flooding back as soon as I saw her. Lucy and I had such a history. We’d been best friends since grade school and a part of me missed the friendship I’d had with the Lucy who hadn’t stolen my husband.

  Sooner than I would have liked, we pulled up outside the clinic. I scanned the parking lot and saw Cameron’s black car a few spaces over, its metallic paint glittering in the sun. I looked up at the building and felt a shiver run through my body. Cameron was in there right now, and so was Lucy. They were in there together every day.

  It didn’t seem fair that after all the history I had with each of them, I was the one isolated. I still remembered the day they met…

  …“You’re going to love Lucy!” I’d gushed as I pulled Cameron toward the diner.

  “Well, I’m sure I’ll like her just fine, but you’re the only one I love,” Cameron growled, pulling me to his chest and kissing me fiercely.

  “It’s really important to me that you like her. She’s my best friend,” I told him, resting my cheek on his chest.

  “Don’t worry, love, I’m sure we’ll get along fine.” He grasped my hand tightly as we walked into the diner.

  Lucy smiled as we approached the table. Of course she’d heard me gushing about Cameron for weeks, but I hadn’t been ready for them to meet until I was sure what I was feeling for him was real.

  “Hey, Char,” she called, waving us over to her table. I saw the way she was running her eyes over Cameron, and I possessively put my hand around his waist.

  “Lucy, this is Cameron,” I said proudly when we reached the table.