Harmony

by Sonya Bria

  “You flatter me.” Ian bowed.

  “Oh, stop it!” I said mockingly. “Let’s go. Where are you taking me?”

  We walked outside to the back of the cabin. I’d totally missed the garage adjacent to the back porch. I could only guess what it housed, given what I’d seen so far. Inside stood a midnight blue BMW convertible Roadster, and the black M3 he used in town; cars found on the glossy pages of magazines that only the rich and famous could afford. Or in Ian’s case, vampires that have been around awhile.

  “You don’t look surprised,” Ian said.

  “So, how rich did you say you were?” I trailed off, tracing my finger along the hood of the Roadster.

  “I knew you were only after my money,” Ian said with a laugh.

  “Well, I could use a sugar daddy…”

  Ian rolled his eyes. “Okay, I concede to a few guilty pleasures that I’ve, ahh, acquired over the years. Collecting cars is one of them.”

  “You like shiny, new things?” I asked, batting my eyes.

  “You are impossible sometimes, Sophie,” Ian said, grabbing me into a bear hug.

  We took the Roadster out, as it seemed to suit our purposes for the day. We drove out of the forest—Ian driving painstakingly slow as to show me exactly where on earth we were. I appreciated his sweet gesture. I soaked it all in. The smells, the light, the darkness. The dewy, wet, damp leaves and the bowed trees. I could grow to love this place. We turned onto the highway and headed north. It was exhilarating. I thought the bullet bike was extreme, this was even more so. It was like we were in slow motion as everything whizzed by us.

  “Okay, another question,” I said, breaking the silence. “How do you look at me and drive at insane speeds without crashing?”

  “Years of practice,” Ian replied.

  “The looking part or the insane speed part?” I jokingly said.

  Ian tapped into my mind again. It’s hard to explain. I have enhanced reflexes. My mind and body anticipate each curve and turn before it happens.

  “So you actually see the road mapped out for you before you get there?” I ventured, trying to understand.

  Something like that.

  I opened another pathway to his thoughts, trying to see what he meant. It is incredible! Where are we going?

  “Be patient. We’ll be there soon enough,” Ian said. With his driving, I didn’t doubt it. Does it bother you that I like to surprise you? He asked.

  Not at all, I’m just a bit overwhelmed. That’s all, I responded truthfully.

  I know Soph, so am I.

  I realized that we’d descended far below the mountain into a valley. Ian eased up on the clutch and began to slow down. It was something akin to a jet plane landing. Good thing I was wearing a seatbelt!

  “Ian, this is beautiful!” I exclaimed. I saw endless fields of wildflowers in various stages of bloom. “Is this where you picked my flowers this morning?” I asked. “How did you get here? I didn’t hear the bike or car leave?” I asked in disbelief. “Don’t tell me you ran here?”

  Ian laughed. “Just a morning jog, that’s all.”

  We both said at the same time, “enhanced capabilities.”

  It was absolutely perfect and seemed vaguely familiar to me, like I had been here before. Ian seemed to know his way in and out of the fields pretty well, and he even led me to a gentle stream that trickled down from the mountain and into the valley.

  I picked up some rocks and skipped them across the cool, clear water. “Ian, have I been here before? Have you been here before?” I could sense from his silence that he was trying to get me to remember something without producing answers. Apparently, this was a memory that I needed to remember on my own. What was it about this place? It wasn’t scary, but something was not quite right. I shivered despite the glaring sun above. “Okay, I need a break, Ian,” I said firmly, planting myself on the ground. “I don’t have the same enhanced capabilities you possess.”

  “We aren’t in a hurry,” Ian said. “This is a good spot, come over here.”

  He pulled me under the shade of a tree despite my groaning legs. No wonder he feeds me so well, I thought. He didn’t bother to tell me we’d be working it off aerobically every day.

  Without missing a step, he swung me up into his arms. “Do you want me to carry you, my lady?”

  I laughed precariously. “All right, stop taunting me, I can walk.”

  Ian gently pulled me into his lap. “I thought you liked it when I teased you,” he said as he kissed the tip of my nose.

  “So are you going to tell me why this place is familiar to me? I can’t quite place it,” I stated.

  “Do you feel drawn to it?” Ian inquired.

  It wasn’t clear whether or not we spoke or just exchanged words telepathically, but it worked for us. Maybe I came here as a little girl with my mother. She was always dragging me off on one nature walk after another. I added, I can see Grams loving this place, trying to find seeds to plant in her garden back home. Grams. I hadn’t thought about her at all this weekend. I wonder what she was doing.

  Ian interrupted my thought process. “You miss her,” he ventured.

  “I’d be lying if I said I didn’t,” I replied.

  “Do you want to go back now?” Ian flexed, as if holding his breath out of sheer habit.

  “No, not yet.” I snuggled further into his embrace and thought, I’m just so happy to be here with you in this spot at this very moment. My world seems so clear right now. I can’t explain it, Ian, but when I’m with you, it’s as if time doesn’t matter.

  Ian responded, I understand more than you know.

  I turned myself around on his lap, straddling his legs so I could see him better.

  “Cornering me are you?” Ian questioned.

  “No, but I do need some answers. So unless you want to pry me from you…” my voice trailed off. Ian, what are we doing? I reverted back to telepathy. I can’t tell how you feel about me. I sense that you care about me and that I’m important in your life, but is that all this is? Am I a passing fancy?

  Ian’s eyes darkened. “What idea gave you that impression? Look Sophie, I’m not quite sure what this is either.” He continued, “I don’t usually find myself attracted to a human like you. Being this close to any human is dangerous, not only for them, but me too.”

  “Then explain the conflicting emotions I read from you,” I said, not backing down.

  “I don’t want to frighten you, Sophie,” Ian replied tersely.

  “Ian, how can I understand fully if you don’t show me? I promise I won’t run away or anything. Look, I don’t even have the strength right now to try,” I said half jokingly. “Let me in,” I pleaded.

  “Look at me! It’s as if you don’t really see who I am, Sophie.” Ian cursed. “I’m a vampire. Dark and granted mysterious, but also dangerous and lethal. I don’t let you in because I don’t want to harm you.”

  Ian. I shook my head.

  No, Soph. It would kill me, the soulless creature I am if I ever hurt you that way.

  “Ian, is that all you’re worried about? Look at me,” I cried. “I know in my heart and center of my soul that you would never intentionally hurt me.” I clasped his cold hands in mine. “Believe me; I know that you are a vampire. I’ve seen too much to doubt that, and I’m still here wanting more. How twisted is that?” I scoffed.

  Ian remained motionless. “Please Ian,” I begged. “I need to know.”

  “Sophie, you don’t know what you are asking. I could lose control,” Ian started.

  “Here, shhh,” I said, letting go of his cold hands. I traced my fingers down his cheek and rested them lightly on his lips. The cold wetness invigorated me. It made my resolve even stronger. I felt him tense and then relax as he let the barrier down.

  It hit me like a blow to the head.

  Ian held my body firmly as I visibly shook—blasted with image after image of terrible acts of crime and passion that he had committed as a newly formed vamp
ire. He was methodical in selecting his prey, careful not to draw attention among the upper class, but swift to satiate his bloodlust with those roaming the unsavory parts of town near the docks. He toyed with the women, enticing them to darkened corners, and challenged men to end him. He was ruled by the darkness and his bloodlust. Part of me wanted to cringe in disgust, but I persevered because I loved him. It was like Ian was intentionally showing me the worst of his nature.

  I waded through the memories, feeling sucked down into a murky, dark place. I was searching for something, but not sure what. Why Ian? Why me? What did it all mean? The beginning of his vampire existence had been a hard one, his torment pointless and beyond redemption. Was he beyond redemption for his violence? After a time, he met others who also questioned their existence. Vampires that wanted to be different than the classic bloodsuckers popularized in movies. Didn’t this prove that goodness still existed within him? I thought so. They schooled him on ways to suppress the demon within. It wasn’t always easy. Every time he fell off the wagon so to speak, it was that much harder to climb back on. Human blood was so intoxicating for them. It was their alcohol of choice. Human blood masked what it was like to be human; it awakened all of their lost senses from their previous human lives.

  Ian tensed. How was Ian fueling his awakened emotions and senses now around me? I knew I could feel it in his mind. That’s it—I must be closer. I gently rubbed my fingers on his arms, working my way up his neck, and entwining my fingers in his hair. I saw what he didn’t want me to see. The very meadow we were in. How can that be, Ian? I thought.

  I saw my mother in the distance laughing. Mom! She was telling me to be careful by the stream. IT came upon us so quickly. The thunder and dark clouds looming overhead. My body froze on Ian’s lap. “Sophie,” Ian begged. “Don’t go there.”

  It was too late, I had too. I saw my mother running to me. I saw three men appear out of nowhere and pull her down. I screamed and screamed, running toward my mother. I couldn’t get the scene out of my head. Tears fell freely from my eyes, and Ian desperately tried to wipe them away and soothe the ensuing pain. He began to sing like he did in my dreams. I remembered someone scooping me up and flying me away from the horrible scene before my eyes. I wanted my mother, but I couldn’t bear to see what they had done. It was Ian! He had been there the day my mother was killed. It was vampires! It all made sense now.

  I seethed with anger. The only thing that mattered to me now was whether or not Ian had been one of the attackers. I felt physically sick. Abruptly, I opened my eyes. Ian was staring at me intently. I didn’t speak for quite some time, trying to read his eyes. I saw the pain, confusion, shame, and compassion he had for me as a child. Yet, I also saw now the dark, sinister part lying underneath. “Sophie. Talk to me,” Ian begged.

  “Why didn’t you tell me?” I finally asked.

  “I wanted too, but I’m selfish. Vain. I started out wanting you to be safe, and now I want you for myself,” Ian relented. “I knew if you saw this, you could never bear my presence, and that would kill me, Sophie.”

  But Ian, you saved me, I know you did. “How did you do that?” I questioned. “I remember flying. You can fly?” I asked dumbfounded.

  Ian mustered a small smile. “No, but our leaps and bounds can feel like flying. You were like carrying a feather around back then.” I moved from Ian’s lap and lay down on the quilt and looked up at the clouds in the sky. I was numb, and in shock— frozen really, trying to will the sun to shine and warm my soul. “Have you been with me ever since that day?”

  “For a while,” Ian replied, stroking my hair tentatively.

  “So, were you physically present when you sang to me at night, or was I telepathic as a child too?” I honestly didn’t know.

  “Soph, I wish I understood it all myself. That is what’s so frustrating. I was present most nights in the beginning. Your grandmother knew.” Ian continued, “Gradually, I distanced myself. I asked her about the telepathy one night. I started seeing and hearing you when you weren’t having the dreams. I thought maybe I was losing it.”

  “Grams knows about you…knows you’re a vampire?” I was shocked.

  “Why do you think she let you come here with me this weekend?” Ian said. “She was hoping you’d get the answers you were looking for.” Ian’s words said one thing, but his face read another.

  “What are you not telling me?” I asked.

  “Sophie, this is enough for today,” he firmly replied. Then he swept me up into his arms and ran with me to the car. I knew Ian well enough to back off, but just for now.

  The mood changed on our way back to town. Ian was far more pensive than usual, and I was…I didn’t know. I was sad, hurt, and confused. Not so much at Ian—well, yes at Ian. He should have told me! I had a right to know. Okay, so giving him some slack, I was a kid at the time, and it probably was better to wait. However, Grams? How could she not tell me? I wasn’t sure what she knew, but clearly I’d been in the dark long enough.

  We pulled up in front of my house. Somehow it seemed different now. It held secrets. Maybe I was just over reacting, but something had changed in me.

  Sophie, I’m sorry, Ian pushed into my thoughts. I couldn’t protect your mother and save you too. I had to choose.

  “I know, Ian. I saw it, and that you’ve carried this pain and guilt around for years over what they did,” I said with forgiveness.

  “It still pains me, Sophie, the suffering my kind has left upon you. You’re sad, and I should leave,” Ian said, reaching across the passenger seat to open my door.

  I wasn’t so much sad, maybe a more accurate description would be empty or hollow inside. If I had to put a word on the emotion that I felt, that was it. “You’ll come back tonight?” I wondered out loud. I grabbed his face in my hands and leaned over, pressing my forehead to his. “Ian, it will be all right. You’ll see.” I quickly brushed my lips across his mouth even though there was no response on his part. Caution. That was what he was conveying. I couldn’t blame him.

  “I’ll leave the window unlatched,” I said as I stepped out into the cold late afternoon chill. Ian sped off with a look upon his face I’d never seen before—despair.

  GRAMS

  “Grams! I’m home,” I called out.

  “In the kitchen,” Grams replied.

  I walked into the kitchen and gave her a quick hug. “How was your trip with Ian?”

  I didn’t know where to begin. “It went just as well as you thought it would.”

  Grams dropped the spoon she was holding on the counter. “So, you finally know. Come on sit with me,” she said, wiping her hands on her apron. The kitchen always smelled of fresh herbs and ripe vegetables. It was the earthy smells that intoxicated my senses.

  “Did Ian tell you, or did you figure it out on your own?” Grams quizzed me.

  “Does it matter?” I asked. “How could you, Grams? All those sleepless nights, the countless nightmares, and the imaginary friend I paraded around that apparently everyone knew wasn’t all that imaginary!” I shouted. I paced around the room. It was fast becoming stifling, and I didn’t like feeling this way about my grandmother or accusing her of lying.

  “Sophia Marie, sit down,” Grams commanded. “Let me explain. Do you honestly think that I could have explained all of this to a child? Heavens, you were only eight when your mother died.”

  “You mean killed,” I interjected. “There’s a big difference.”

  “Yes,” Grams resigned. “Killed. Honestly Sophie, I didn’t know what to think. One minute you were off with your mother picking flowers for Sunday brunch, and the next you were on the doorstep covered in blood in the arms of a man I barely knew!”

  “Grams,” I sat down. “I get it, but I’m still mad.”

  “What was I to do?” Grams stared off into space. “It wasn’t until years later that I figured part of it out,” she said.

  That piqued my interest. “Do you know what Ian is?” I asked.

  �
��You mean a vampire?” Grams chuckled. “Of course dear, that was the easy part to figure out.” “Easy? Am I that dense?” I questioned.

  “No honey, I think they call it love,” she said.

  I wasn’t about to validate that comment or discuss the state of my heart with Grams. I wasn’t even sure I was ready to admit fully the depth of my love and feelings for Ian. I calmed down a bit, but the silence between us was unbearable.

  “Here,” Grams said, “you look famished. Did Ian not feed you?”

  I murmured, “Too well.”

  “Eat a cucumber sandwich that I made and drink some milk,” Grams said, fussing.

  “Grams, I’m not ten! I think I need something stronger after what I’ve just learned,” I replied. “Tea?” Grams laughed.

  “Yes, chamomile.” I sighed. I was such a chicken. “Thanks Grams. I’m going to go unpack.”

  It was already getting darker outside and still no sign of Ian. Maybe he changed his mind? It was probably for the best.

  Grams knocked on my bedroom door. “Here you go, Sophie, a nice cup of hot tea. Do you need anything else?” she asked.

  “Oh Grams, I’m so confused!” I said, sinking onto my bed. “What am I supposed to do with all this information?” I whined like a child.

  Grams sat beside me on my bed and laid a tender hand on my knee. “Sophie, the choice has always been yours. This is your life, your destiny if you will. No one can make these decisions for you. I can’t, Ian can’t…”

  “It’s just so overwhelming finding this all out,” I mused. “I guess I knew what happened, just chose to ignore what my heart already knew.” Tears burned my eyes.

  “Was I wrong to keep this so long from you? I don’t know, but that was my decision, not Ian’s,” Grams added.

  “So explain to me why you would let me go off with him this weekend?” I asked. “If you knew what he was, didn’t that frighten you?” I questioned.

  “Perhaps a bit, but I had to let you go. Ian needed this more than you. He’s carried the burden around for some time,” Grams firmly stated. “Guilt weighs you down, and I think he’s punished himself long enough for his part.”