by Jerry Cole
"I have never made a mistake of such magnitude, personally," Young Master Stafford said indignantly. "One must always verify what one hears."
Edmond knew it was true, but it still felt like a personal attack of some description, it still made him wish all the worst for Lord Stafford's brother. The young man entirely lacked tact or education, it seemed, and Edmond resented his words deeply.
As he tried to focus on his meal, Edmond heard some noise outside the window. Looking up, he spied Theodore and the children making their way back from some excursion to the pond at the bottom of the garden. Seeing Theodore's traitorous face, Edmond felt his heart throb and his face grow hot. He had been taken for a complete and utter fool. Glaring at Theodore, he swore to himself he would never believe the man again.
His glare went unnoticed as Theodore made his way back indoors, followed by a row of loudly shouting children.
Chapter Fifteen
Theodore had not thought it would cause such a reaction. It was something simple, something humorous, not anything that would stick with someone. And yet, it seemed that Edmond had managed to take his mole hill and pile enough debris on top of it to turn it into a mountain. It was an exercise in self-sabotage the likes of which Theodore had never seen before in his life.
Theodore actually felt guilty about what had taken place over dinner the night before, especially when Edmond had apparently been looking forward to the social opportunity so very much. Theodore knew that it was not anyone's duty to make sure that an Earl were not to damage his fragile reputation. And yet the guilt was all-encompassing.
Theodore had not been dining with the nobles, of course, but Mrs. Elridge had filled him in. And delivered that warning again. She had been clearly upset by what had taken place and did her very best to ignore the fact that it was almost entirely Edmond's fault.
According to Mrs. Elridge, Edmond had hung on until the cheeseboard, then found an excuse to politely take his leave. Once he had left, he was all anyone talked about at the table. His reputation was not ruined by any means, but he no doubt believed it was.
"Although you were the one to play such a cruel trick on him, I have not a doubt in my mind that he will listen to you," Mrs. Elridge explained. "You must apologize to him, and somehow persuade him that he can recover from this. Or else..."
Theodore looked up expectantly.
"Or else he may return to England and never visit us, or anyone else, again," she concluded.
Theodore had not expected this. He had not intended to do any real harm to anyone. Had he known... "I shall do my best," he said. "And, once again, I offer my sincerest apologies for what took place."
Mrs. Elridge shook her head. "Truth be told," she said in a hushed tone, confessing to a secret that she no doubt did not want to be overheard. "Truth be told, I do not fault you a whit. He was so foolish. But he is our friend, and we love him greatly. I do not want him to continue to suffer, even by his own action and inaction. He shall learn, if treated with care, how to carry himself with the pride and dignity he deserves."
Theodore nodded. He had no more to add.
Mrs. Elridge stood up. "Please, be kind to him. He is not as worldly or experienced as any of us."
As soon as she was gone, Theodore nearly leapt to the mirror, where he began to inspect his face and hair carefully, making sure he looked all right. He had to go and see Edmond right away. Apparently, Edmond had not left his room since he left the dining table the night before, and, although he accepted the warm water to bathe that morning, he had refused tea and breakfast alike, remaining in his quarters, complaining of a headache.
Theodore made his way up to the door and knocked. There was no reply. He knocked again.
"Who goes?" came Edmond's voice, weary and suffering, as though he had not slept all night despite having been in his room for nearly ten hours now.
"It is Theodore, Lord Thanet," Theodore replied.
He was met only with silence.
"Lord Thanet?" he pressed.
"I do not wish to entertain you," Edmond replied from behind the door.
Theodore sighed. "Mrs. Elridge has sent me."
A little more silence.
***
Just as Theodore was about to turn away and leave Edmond to his own devices for another few hours, the door creaked open and Edmond ushered Theodore in swiftly.
Theodore did not have a second to look Edmond over before he was drawn into the room and the door was shut. As soon as he got a good look at the Earl, Theodore could see why Edmond did not want to be seen by anyone, much less stand in the doorway where a passerby may spot him.
Edmond had not slept. He had great purple bags under his eyes, a pallor to his cheeks, a dryness to his uncombed hair, and was still wearing his bedclothes. There was a little red to the whites of his eyes, suggesting that he was either exhausted, had been weeping, or both.
Theodore looked to his feet, not wanting to be caught staring too long.
"What is it that Mrs. Elridge sent you for?" Edmond said, his voice drawn out and tired sounding.
"I do not suppose that you would accept an apology?" Theodore said nervously. "I did not think that our little joke would go so far."
"You did not think at all," Edmond replied flatly, sitting down on the chair before the vanity that stood in the corner of his room. He peered at his own reflection before he angled the mirror upwards, so it did not catch either of them.
"No, I suppose I did not," Theodore admitted. "I thought it was pretty harmless, compared to all else the children wished to do."
"They ought not have done any of what they wished to do. You, of all people, should know how senselessly cruel children are."
"Indeed," Theodore replied. He was not sure what else he could do but agree and hope that eventually Edmond would allow Theodore to ask for forgiveness again.
"You are a fool," Edmond said, cheeks flushing. "No, I am the fool. You made me one. How is a man of my stature supposed to maintain his composure when all consider him a fool?"
Theodore did not have a reply for this.
"Of course you knew, didn't you?" Edmond carried on. "You knew what this would do to me, at least in part. Otherwise you would not have considered it a joke, would you? Otherwise, you may have told the children to not behave like some sort of primate, lacking all self-control. You took me for a fool and I made myself into one."
"I do not consider you a fool. I assumed it would be a harmless joke. It seems I was wrong," Theodore said, stepping in and caressing Edmond's cheek.
Edmond raised his hand as though to slap Theodore's away, but instead froze. Theodore felt a single warm tear slide down Edmond's cheek, landing on Theodore's fingers. Theodore continued to gently run his fingers over Edmond's cheek, wiping the tear away. Edmond wrapped his hand around Theodore's, holding it gently.
"I did not want to hurt you. I- I might even love you," Theodore said. It was exhilarating to confess his love like this.
Edmond stood up as though startled. "No, no, no..." he said, looking as though he wanted to step in and run away at once. "You cannot continue to do this to me."
Theodore sighed. "I am doing it to myself too," he replied, stepping in close, inhaling the scent of Edmond's clean yet unperfumed skin. How could Edmond smell so good without cologne? How could he look so exceedingly handsome even when he was so tired, with a few tears still stubbornly clinging to the waterline of his eyes?
Edmond did not reply. He just lifted his hand to gently stroke Theodore's tied hair. His hands glided down, as though Edmond were telling himself to let go, but his hands were not cooperating. He held Theodore's hips gently, not decreasing or increasing the space between them. "I know," Edmond eventually said. "You should not do this to yourself either."
Theodore leaned in. "I want to do it to myself. To love you is a privilege, not a curse."
Edmond was hesitant. At least his lips were. His hands remained firmly on Theodore's hips, now gripping and holding as thoug
h letting go would mean falling down a ravine.
Theodore leaned in a little further and Edmond bowed down also, their lips meeting gently. It seemed that, whatever Edmond said to keep up appearances, he also agreed that it was a privilege to love Theodore. He also wanted it.
Mrs. Elridge's words had struck a chord with Theodore for reasons wholly beyond her intended ones. Theodore realized how lonely Edmond was, how hurt and isolated and how much he needed to learn. And Theodore realized now that he wanted to be there to guide Edmond through all the aspects of life and society that Edmond still struggled with. Theodore wanted to look after Edmond forever. He wanted to be like a wife by Edmond's side, uplifting him and supporting him, loving him and guiding him throughout life.
Theodore wrapped both arms behind Edmond's back, pulling their bodies close together. Edmond froze again, and Theodore broke the kiss, fully expecting his reluctant lover to fully dismiss Theodore from the room forever. Theodore knew how Edmond wished to be seen. He knew how Edmond wanted to lead his life. And he would not blame Edmond for just cutting ties like he said he would.
But Edmond embraced him, pushing him back against the wall a little, their bodies pressing together warmly. Theodore breathed a sigh of relief that Edmond was so helpless in the face of his own desires. If Edmond were half as committed to his supposed ideals as he claimed, Theodore was pretty sure they would not be on speaking terms any more.
Theodore tilted his head up a little and Edmond leaned down, kissing Theodore deeply, gently licking Theodore's lips. As Edmond's tongue slid into Theodore's mouth, Theodore almost laughed as he realized how much Edmond would overreact were Theodore to mention his discrepancies. Theodore knew it would be cruel, but he liked seeing Edmond's insecurity. Besides, for once, just for once, Theodore wanted to hear Edmond admit that his ideals were worthless, that love was a better choice, that social conditioning meant nothing compared to Theodore's affections.
Theodore wanted to be wanted, needed to be needed. And Edmond's self-consciousness and self-loathing was somehow transferring. Theodore was not ready for this at all. But he was used to people projecting their own problems onto him. He was used to being treated like some sort of an emotional and social sponge, to absorb and cleanse everyone's mistakes. He didn't want to do it for Edmond, though. He wanted to do the opposite, he wanted Edmond to learn to be more open and self-accepting.
Holding that in mind, Theodore pulled Edmond even closer, pressing their chests together. Theodore slipped his hand underneath Edmond's bed gown, feeling Edmond's naked, strong, hairy chest underneath. He could feel Edmond's face and chest flushing hotly, the breaths in Edmond's chest becoming shallower and faster by the second. Theodore pressed his tongue into Edmond's mouth, unapologetically claiming Edmond as his own, taking what he wanted. If Edmond would not love freely of his own accord, then Theodore would just have to teach him. After all, that was what Theodore excelled at.
Edmond tasted amazing. Like the sweet hot tea he had been drinking, like honey, like some sweet, sexual ambrosia that Theodore had never tasted before, and yet now would never live without. He broke the kiss, panting hungrily, and pushed Edmond back a little. As Theodore tried to untie Edmond's gown belt, Edmond grabbed Theodore's hand and held it firmly, stopping Theodore in his tracks.
"Please, not here," Edmond insisted with a sternness that was a thousand times more sincere than his usual reluctance.
Theodore stopped. "Why not?"
"Not here," Edmond said. "We could be seen. Or heard. I cannot afford to-"
"Come to my room, then," Theodore said, interrupting Edmond. "Nobody will discover us either way, but there we can be alone, if that makes you more comfortable."
Edmond hesitated, looking down at his body. Theodore immediately realized what the problem was. Edmond was in his bed clothes, belt half undone, chest exposed, cheeks and chest flushing pink, hair a mess, and sporting a not unnoticeable erection beneath his gown. It would not be easy to sneak into Theodore's room like this. Edmond could not easily excuse himself if he were spotted, either. Theodore sighed.
Edmond turned about and walked to the door. Theodore followed, knowing he would be sent outside, bemoaning his own throbbing erection that was angrily pressing against his trouser leg, creating a slight fold even in this taut, fitted fabric. He would address it on his own, in his own room.
But Edmond did not open the door and usher Theodore out. He drew both locks and turned around. "Just, be quiet, if you would," Edmond said, undoing his belt and slipping out of the gown, revealing that he indeed had nothing else on underneath.
Theodore could not help himself. He walked up and kissed Edmond passionately, biting Edmond's lips, pushing his tongue into Edmond's mouth, sliding his hand down to feel Edmond's rock-hard erection. It was firm as steel, hot as coal, throbbing angrily as though it had never been touched before. Theodore broke the kiss and, with a smirk, slid to his knees.
Last time, Theodore had not been able to have a good look at Edmond's penis in the darkness of the closet. Now, in the full daylight streaming in through the window, Theodore could see very well indeed. It was majestic. Long and thick, bulging a little more in the middle, with two bold veins snaking around it. The foreskin was drawn so tight by Edmond's hardness that his glans was exposed, shining with precum, gently twitching as its exposure to the air. Edmond was not as hairy as he had felt when Theodore had been feeling his way around blindly. The hair was blond and soft, curled quite tightly, drawn back, showing off Edmond's hardness. And from how high up Edmond's testicles had risen, Theodore suspected it would take a lick, maybe two, to bring the Earl over the edge.
Theodore leaned forward, exhaling warm, humid air onto Edmond's cock, making Edmond shudder with anticipating. Theodore licked his lips and opened his mouth, ready to experience something he felt he had been waiting for his whole life.
"Wait," Edmond gasped.
Theodore looked up, pouting as innocently as he could. They held eye contact silently. Theodore's lips hovered right in front of Edmond's cock.
"Never mind," Edmond sighed. "Go ahead."
Theodore leaned in and gently kissed the very tip of Edmond's erection, feeling the precum against his still-damp lips, inhaling the musky odor and feeling his own penis twitching desperately at the erotic scent. Edmond shuddered as Theodore kissed over and over, teasing Edmond's hard cock. When Theodore's tongue began swirling around the tip, Edmond gripped Theodore's hair hard, pulling some of it out of the ribbon with which Theodore had tied it back, pushing Theodore forward.
Not one to refuse such a delicious offer, Theodore opened his mouth, taking Edmond in. He tasted as good as Theodore had expected from his first "sample". It was faintly salty, faintly savory, faintly sweet, a subtle hint of what rich flavor Theodore would soon receive. Theodore pushed forward slowly but surely, taking Edmond to the very start of his throat. Gagging, Theodore paused and retreated equally slowly, pressing his tongue against the underside of Edmond's cock. Theodore was not sure if he could take Edmond any deeper, and he didn't want to ruin the sensuality of the moment with his over eagerness.
As Theodore reached the tip and prepared to slide down again, he pushed his hand into his own trousers, grasping his hard cock and beginning to pump it. He couldn't wait for his own release. It felt too good to taste and feel Edmond, and Theodore wanted nothing more than to climax together.
Edmond gripped Theodore's hair harder, stopping Theodore from carrying on. As Edmond pulled on Theodore's hair, Theodore realized he could not resist. Not with one hand down his pants and the other on Edmond's hip. He staggered to his feet and his lips met Edmond's. This time it was Edmond's tongue that began to eagerly probe into Theodore's mouth. Theodore moaned desperately. As they kissed, Edmond gently nudged Theodore, forcing Theodore to walk backwards, step by step, toward Edmond's unmade bed. Theodore was pleasantly surprised by how bold Edmond was being. Perhaps Theodore had finally got through to him after all?
Now Edmond pushed Theod
ore down onto the bed, climbing on top. The weight of Edmond's body felt so right, so perfect, like the world's most beautiful trap. Edmond's erection was so obvious, even when felt through Theodore's trousers. He ground up, trying to make their cocks meet through the tight fabric, trying to get back that same pleasure he had been feeling mere moments ago. It was such a sweet torture.
Just as Theodore's frustration was about to overwhelm his pleasure, Edmond sat up and unclipped Theodore's suspenders, working on removing the slightly too tight trousers and releasing Theodore's cock. Theodore watched as Edmond's face flashed from horny, to nervous, to awe, and back to nervous again. Edmond gasped audibly as he saw Theodore's erection spring free, staring, taking in what was probably the first erect cock Edmond had ever seen besides his own. Theodore smiled at how adorable Edmond looked with his surprised expression and flushed cheeks. Edmond gently, cautiously, caressed Theodore's cock, sliding the skin against the swollen rod, his touch feather-light.
Theodore couldn't hold back his moans and gasps any longer and, through grit teeth and pursed lips, expressed his pleasure as quietly as possible, trying to not defy Edmond's request for silence.
"Please, lick it," Theodore gasped.
Edmond froze. Theodore opened his eyes and saw Edmond staring, nervously, at Theodore's hard cock, the foreskin almost fully retracted, exposing his bell end. Slowly, Edmond leaned in, tongue out, and gave Theodore a single, slow, sensual lick. Theodore gasped. Edmond moaned as he tasted his lover for the first time.
"More," Theodore pleaded. "Please, more."
"No, I cannot," Edmond said, suddenly sitting bolt upright, shaking his head. "I must not. This is wrong. This is not how men are supposed to be."
"This is exactly how we were made," Theodore replied, sitting up a little, weaving his fingers through Edmond's blond locks, pushing Edmond's head back down.
Edmond offered no resistance at all, opening his mouth and wrapping his lips around the head of Theodore's cock with a hungry moan.
