by Jerry Cole
Chapter Sixteen
Edmond came up for air, impressed at Theodore's endurance, but not exactly angry at how much he was able to enjoy tasting his lover's perfect cock.
"So that 'I cannot' was merely the wine speaking?" Theodore asked with a half-joking laugh. Such a soft, coquette little giggle that he may as well have been a woman. But he was not.
"You know I have not drunk this morning," Edmond replied, smiling shyly, still stroking Theodore's lubricated erection slowly.
How was it so perfect? Edmond never thought he would have believed a man's penis could be perfect, but Theodore's was. It was so beautiful, long and slender but not too thin, with a boldly fuchsia glans that fully emerged from Theodore's foreskin to greet Edmond's lips. It smelled faintly salty and faintly sweet, and the mass of brown hair was soft to the touch and seemed to have been trimmed back to expose as much of Theodore's length as possible.
Something about it made Edmond want it inside him. He leaned in and sucked the tip again, pressing his tongue firmly against the spongy tissue, tasting the salty drops that continued to leak with every slight touch.
Edmond could feel his own cock throbbing greedily. He drew back, and climbed on top of Theodore again, pressing their crotches together, rubbing himself against Theodore's dripping wet shaft, moaning as he humped hard, loving every little bit of pressure. It was stunning. He felt himself lose control of his hips, thrusting over and over, their cocks pressing then gliding. Theodore wrapped his arms around Edmond's neck and his legs around Edmond's waist, humping back. Edmond, in a moment of clarity, reached down between them and wrapped his hand around both their cocks, pressing the undersides together, pumping to match their thrusts.
Theodore groaned and moved faster and faster, clinging tightly to Edmond's body, licking and biting Edmond's neck in a primal expression of raw lust. Edmond could feel his climax welling up in his loins, his stomach tightening, his cock beginning to harden even more than he thought was possible. In a moment of the rawest pleasure Edmond had ever experienced, he felt himself shooting his semen all over his own hand and Theodore's cock, their thrusts spreading Edmond's seed over them both. Theodore moaned in a slightly surprised tone, arching his back, gripping Edmond's waist harder than before with his legs. Although he was spent, Edmond somehow could not stop himself from thrusting a few times more as he felt Theodore's cock jerking against his own, their semen mixing over their bodies.
As Theodore's legs finally released Edmond and their orgasms gave way to exhaustion, Edmond collapsed on top of Theodore. Clarity hit him like a ton of bricks.
He rolled over, staring at the ceiling, listening to Theodore panting by his side, their shuddering breaths in sync, desperate for air. What had he done? He had known how wrong it was, he had been told his whole life how wrong it was, and he had been so caught up in the raw pleasure that he had forgotten every moral instilled in him.
He could hear Theodore moving around a little, and then felt Theodore wiping Edmond's crotch and hands clean with the gown. Edmond just let him.
"I suppose this means you have to accept you are attracted to me, sin or not?" Theodore asked, as though reading Edmond's mind. Theodore rolled over and kissed Edmond's cheek. Edmond did not reject the kiss. He had done worse; a kiss was of no great concern.
"I suppose," Edmond replied.
"In all honesty, how long have you known?" Theodore whispered into Edmond's ear in a hush voice.
"As long as I have known you, I believe," Edmond replied, rolling over to face Theodore. "I had never contemplated such things before."
"And how do you feel, now that you have accepted your desires?" Theodore asked.
Edmond hesitated. He knew how he ought to feel. Shameful. Anxious. Remorseful. Scared. But he did not. "I feel relieved," he said, surprising even himself. "Perhaps a touch guilty, but, by and large, I am relieved."
Theodore grinned. "I am relieved that you are relieved. It is an awful thing to go through life hating oneself."
Theodore looked so gorgeous. Angelic. Edmond caressed Theodore's naked chest, slowly taking in the softness of his skin, admiring the absolute perfection, crafted by divine hands, fearfully and wonderfully made down to the smallest of details. Edmond finally smiled back. "It is."
"I have always known I was... not right," Edmond added, evading Theodore's gaze, feeling his heart sink. He owed Theodore a bit of an explanation. "I felt no desire for women. I could not understand when my peers and my father's friends would jest about the shape of a lady's body, or her sexual indiscretions. It was at best of no concern to me, or at worst repulsive. And yet, I had been hoping that I was simply frigid. It seems I am not."
"Not at all," Theodore said with a cheery chuckle, a bit of his energy coming back into his voice. "You are wonderful. Why would you have hoped to be frigid?"
"I am not supposed to be like this. No man is. You are not either," he insisted. "We are abominations, and we must not lead one another to worse offense."
"Too late," Theodore said flatly.
Edmond turned back to face Theodore, whose expression was now stoic.
"We have done it. We have sinned. And I want to commit this offense again," Theodore said. "Over and over. With you. If not with you then with another man much like yourself. I want to sin."
Edmond swallowed hard. He wanted to as well and yet... "Perhaps that is the Devil whispering into our ears."
"If that is truly how you feel then I suppose there is no more that shall be said or done of it," Theodore said, his voice sounding colder than ever. "But I, for one, do not believe it is a true sin. I do not believe any good or kind Power would have made us this way only to punish us for it. We are as holy and precious as any other human, and no more flawed than everyone else is."
With that, Theodore leaned in and kissed Edmond hard, taking Edmond's breath away. Edmond shivered as their lips separated once again.
"Let's sin, then," he gasped before he could think it through. Edmond did not know what he was saying, but he had said it. He lay on Theodore and they locked lips once again. Edmond could feel himself hardening once more at the mere thought of indulging their desires.
"Let's," Theodore insisted, wrapping his legs around Edmond's waist and pulling him down. It was more than pleasure, it was relief.
Edmond kissed Theodore, trying to let himself go, trying to just enjoy it. He wanted to do it again. He wanted to feel Theodore again, without the raw animal urges, without the underlying guilt, just fully experiencing every moment of their passion. He could feel Theodore growing hard against his belly, and felt so proud, so happy, so thrilled that he could cause such deep desire to form in the tutor's heart and soul.
"I need you," Edmond said, this time fully present, fully aware of what he was saying.
"We need one another, we need someone to love and to hold... and to love and hold us," Theodore replied.
Edmond kissed all over Theodore's face, feeling how warm and soft Theodore's skin was beneath his lips. He reached up and pulled the ribbon from Theodore's hair, watching the soft brown locks fan out against the pillow, shining in the rays of sunlight which dappled the bed. Theodore smiled up at Edmond, confident and content.
Edmond began to kiss his way down Theodore's firm abdomen, feeling how the muscle and sinew rippled beneath his lips with every butterfly touch. As he moved, he could feel Theodore's cock brushing against Edmond's stomach, chest, neck... Arriving over Theodore's crotch, Edmond could see that Theodore was already semi-erect again. Edmond leaned in and began to kiss and lick the slowly growing member. Something about seeing the effect he had on Theodore was even more of a turn on. He stroked Theodore slowly and gently, knowing that he was the one making the tutor erect.
Now he allowed himself to be present in the moment, Edmond was surprised that it didn't feel wrong. It didn't feel repulsive or strange. It felt reassuring, safe, happy, normal, like coming home from the rain to a warm fireplace. It felt natural. It felt like something he wanted to
enjoy for the rest of his life. He took Theodore's cock into his mouth again.
Theodore's hands snaked their way into Edmond's hair, pushing Edmond's head down. It was not as though Edmond needed the encouragement. Who needs air when you have love?
Chapter Seventeen
Theodore had not expected such a turn in Edmond's behavior. It was as though Edmond had been unable to hold back any longer. Theodore understood this, and it was a welcome change, but he had fully expected to continue to fight Edmond's personal issues for another few weeks at least.
Not that he was complaining. Theodore felt he had been waiting his entire life to enjoy the body and love of another man.
He pushed Edmond's head down harder, letting out a deep moan as he found himself pushed over the edge. He needed this so much.
Realizing that Edmond was not trying to move back, was swallowing every last drop, Theodore felt even more turned on than he believed possible. There was something unbelievably erotic in knowing a part of him would become part of Edmond.
As Edmond released Theodore's cock from his mouth, Theodore sighed, opening his arms, inviting Edmond to cuddle up. This was something else Theodore would not have thought possible, now or ever, with Edmond or with any other man. To experience love and affection was almost more surreal than to experience sex.
Edmond seemed so content as well, like he finally had let go of all that he had been taught. Edmond rolled onto his back and pulled Theodore on top, hugging him close like one might embrace a soft pillow, kissing Theodore's soft hair tenderly.
Theodore sat up, straddling Edmond's waist, pushing him back into the bedding, pressing their lips together, tasting himself in Edmond's mouth. Edmond froze briefly, then returned the kiss, pushing his tongue between Theodore's lips. It was intoxicating. Theodore wanted to taste more and more, to never forget the taste.
"I taste quite excellent, don't you agree?" Theodore said as he finally broke the kiss, licking his lips contentedly.
"You are quite something," Edmond gasped. "No moral conscience at all in there? No doubts or fears?"
"Of course, I have doubts and fears. And a conscience. And yet I have enough to worry about without making this into a problem," Theodore replied flatly.
Edmond laughed nervously. "I beg your pardon, it was not in earnest," he said meekly.
Theodore flushed a little, then doubled down. "Coming from you, I would easily believe you meant what you said," Theodore explained.
"I suppose you would," Edmond replied, running his hands through Theodore's hair. "I am not sure myself, if I am honest, what I feel and what I believe in."
Theodore leaned down and kissed Edmond's lips gently. "I know what I feel, and what I believe in. I love you, and I believe it is good."
"There is nothing good about sodomy," Edmond replied, almost without hesitation.
Theodore chuckled. "We have not committed such an act... yet."
Theodore reached behind him, realizing that, despite the words from his mouth, Edmond's penis clearly had different ideas about sodomy. Slowly gliding his hand up and down, Theodore felt Edmond's erection gently, wondering how easy it would be to take in. He had often imagined what it may be like, but he would be lying if he were to claim that he had already performed such an act, or that he had even seriously considered it, prepared himself for it, or so much as tested the sensation with a single finger.
"I am not sure I could go through with that," Theodore confessed, having given it some thought. "I have not so much as contemplated the act."
Edmond nodded. "Nor I."
For a moment, they rested there, Theodore sitting on Edmond's abdomen, hand reaching behind his back, wrapped around Edmond's cock, Edmond himself laying still, a little tense, a little excited, hands caressing Theodore's naked hips.
"Which one of us should try it first?" Theodore asked.
He did not need to explain what he meant. Edmond did not complain or put on some act of being pure and innocent. "I can, if you would like," he said in a low whisper.
Theodore nodded and made his way down Edmond's body, taking in the view. Theodore knew, in theory, what he had to do. He had read a few obscene texts which contained what could only be described as detailed guides to these acts. He had read warnings from both health committees and religious leaders about the risks and pitfalls of anal sex. Between the lewd and the prudish, Theodore had built a fairly intricate mental picture of how it ought to be.
A mental image and actual practice were very different. Thinking back to what he had seen only on paper, Theodore wrapped one hand around Edmond's erection, licked the fingers on his other hand, and proceeded to gently circle Edmond's entrance.
Each gentle caress made Edmond's back arch in pleasure. Unlike Theodore had, Edmond kept his hands on the sheets, gripping them in a combination of nervousness and anticipation. Theodore began to push lightly in and felt Edmond tense around his finger, gripping hard.
Leaving his finger where it was, Theodore leaned down and began to suck Edmond's cock, helping his lover relax a little more. Edmond moaned loudly, quickly raising one hand to cover his mouth and tensing up even more.
A few seconds later, Edmond relaxed again, thrusting up into Theodore's mouth. Theodore could feel Edmond relaxing all over and took the opportunity to reach in a little deeper. He was not sure what happened, but suddenly Edmond's back arched up and his cock twitched excitedly. Theodore pressed the same spot again, getting a similar reaction. Theodore carried on massaging this sensitive area inside Edmond whilst still sucking the Earl's hard cock.
Theodore loved this, seeing Edmond naked and aroused, letting himself go, enjoying their time together. It felt right. It felt perfect. Soon Theodore's hands and mouth were moving almost on their own, driving Edmond further and further into ecstasy, deep moans stifled by Edmond's own hand clasped over his mouth.
And then, just as Theodore pressed particularly hard inside Edmond, he felt Edmond's cock begin to jerk again, twitching and pulsing hard, shooting his load almost right down Theodore's throat, taking Theodore by surprise.
He couldn't swallow it all, though he did his best. It tasted milder than last time, but still delectably erotic. As a little dribbled out of the corners of his mouth, Theodore came up for air, removing his finger from inside Edmond and sitting up.
Edmond lay, digging his teeth into his own hand to stifle his moans, chest heaving quickly, eyes fixed on the roof, cheeks bright red as he recovered from something he had clearly never experienced before.
Theodore lay down beside Edmond again, both of them completely spent now. As Edmond's arm wrapped around Theodore's shoulder, Theodore felt something he had not quite felt before. He felt safe. Protected. It was like some force surrounded them both, so long as they were together, and in that moment he knew, no matter what society may dictate or Edmond may say, that they would both be safe.
"I loved that. I love you," Theodore said, leaning in and kissing Edmond, gently pushing his tongue into Edmond's mouth.
Edmond kissed tenderly back but closed his lips to Theodore's tongue and turned his head aside to stop the kiss.
"I should not be doing this," Edmond said. Although he gripped Theodore in a close embrace, there was a tear in his eye. "I have so much I could lose. I am so inept to begin with. How could I possibly keep such a secret? How could I-"
Theodore waited for Edmond to finish speaking, but the Earl did not. He just lay there, staring at the ceiling, the tear vanishing from his eye without seeming to go anywhere in particular. Edmond could almost be a statue.
"I can show you," Theodore replied. "I can show you every possible way to present yourself in public, no matter what may take place behind closed doors."
"I... I need a walk," Edmond said, gently pushing Theodore aside and standing up, making his way to his chest and pulling out some fresh clothes.
Edmond looked down at his body, set the clothes aside, then inspected his wash jug. Seemingly satisfied by how much water it held,
he poured some out and began to sponge off his skin gently, shivering at how cold the water was by now.
Theodore merely watched. It was like watching Edmond roll backwards, but there was nothing Theodore could do or say to stop it. Edmond was now ashamed and uncomfortable again. There had been a small flicker of hope for Edmond, for Theodore, for both of them. That would have to do for now. Theodore observed as Edmond finished washing himself, got dressed, ran a comb through his hair, and left the room, without so much as a word or a single glance toward the bed.
Waking from the slight trance he had been in, Theodore sat up, also rinsed himself, and got back into his clothes. It would not do for a servant to see Edmond wandering the hall, go to make the bed, and find Theodore sitting naked in it.
As he left the room, his mind wandered. In fact, it wandered all day. Theodore was not sure what was wrong with this Earl, why he could despise himself so very much. There were messages around them, telling them that what they desired was wrong, but it was not something they had to believe. Countless people were gluttonous, idle, angry, or jealous, despite knowing it was wrong. And unapologetically so. Many people broke the law behind closed doors, whether they needed to or not. To Theodore, these social disobediences were just part of being human, and his own rule breaking was no worse than anyone else's.
Going through puberty, Theodore had never believed a word of these messages. After all, he had seen enough at his Uncle's balls to know that what people said in public and what they did down a dark hallway when they thought nobody was observing them, were two very different things. His doubts had been almost entirely based around the unlikelihood of finding someone else to share his sins with. What people may think of him was no big deal: they did not need to find out.
As the day progressed, Theodore wanted to speak to Edmond, to reassure the Earl. There was a risk that Edmond would suffer a setback, and Theodore did not want to risk losing the first man he had loved. By lunchtime, when Theodore was free, there was no sign of Edmond at all.
