by Jerry Cole
Edmond laughed again, but seemed to relax, his shoulders falling a bit, his eyes brightening. Theodore felt the relief as well. Climbing back on top of Edmond, Theodore felt ready to continue.
Chapter Twenty-Four
Edmond wanted to tell himself that he was above this, but he was not. He wanted to believe that he could stop loving Theodore for his flaws, but he could not. The more time he spent with Theodore, the less he resented himself and the tutor, and the more he resented wider society. This was what they needed. Nobody else was in any position to tell them if they should resist or give into these desires.
Theodore's naked form was a delight to behold. Beautiful. Every last inch of skin was pure beauty, distilled from all of creation and condensed into one body. Edmond knew that Theodore was made by God, and he also knew that God made Theodore specifically for Edmond’s pleasure. Edmond kissed down Theodore’s chest and abdomen, feeling how the slight muscles of his slender frame rippled and fluttered beneath Edmond’s lips.
Taking Theodore’s erection in his hand, Edmond felt his stomach knotting with excitement and his own cock pulsing in anticipation. Leaning in, Edmond wrapped his lips around Theodore’s cock, gliding his tongue against the tip. Theodore gasped and moaned before reaching for the corner of the duvet, shoving it into his own mouth and biting down to stifle his noises. Edmond began using both hands and his mouth to systematically pump Theodore’s hard cock, and before long, it was glistening with precum and saliva, sliding so easily between Edmond’s hands. It tasted so damn good, and Edmond could hardly wait to feel Theodore pulsing in orgasm. His own cock was throbbing so desperately now. He needed release.
Edmond began to feel Theodore's buttocks, sliding two fingers in between, gently pressing against Theodore's entrance. Theodore gasped. “What are you doing?”
Edmond froze. “Sorry. Do you want me to stop?”
“No, I want to know if you are aware of what you are doing,” Theodore replied.
Feeling his cheeks grow hot, Edmond nodded. “You said we could not lay as a man and a woman, but we can do this. It is similar.”
“Is it?” Theodore asked. Something about the tutor’s face suggested that he knew exactly of what Edmond was speaking and was simply toying with the Earl.
"This is... a way," Edmond said, flushing and looking aside. “But you know that.”
"How do you know, though?" Theodore asked, his voice hinting mischief. "I thought you despised this. I thought it was something which you had never intended on giving into?"
"I suppose, I might have investigated certain matters myself," Edmond said, face flushing a little. "I have heard of some things, a way..." He began to feel Theodore's anus gently, already scared. But he felt Theodore spread his legs eagerly. Their eyes met. They were both just as afraid.
“I want you to,” Theodore said, his voice catching a little, betraying his nervousness.
“Say if you would like me to stop,” Edmond replied. His heart was racing, hammering in his chest. He hoped that Theodore would not want him to stop.
Sucking his fingers, Edmond wondered how much saliva would be enough. He had never had anything go inside himself, but he had to assume that this tight little ring would somehow stretch more than a few fingers wide. At least from what he had read. He found himself wishing it had been an illustrated manual.
Edmond gently pushed one finger in a little, down to the first knuckle, before easing another finger in beside it. The first two, up to the first knuckle, were easy enough, but he felt some resistance as he pushed them in deeper and deeper. Theodore moaned a bit, but when Edmond paused, Theodore shook his head. “Carry on.”
“Does it hurt?” Edmond asked.
“A little. But carry on. I want you to carry on.” Theodore was insistent despite his discomfort.
It was tight. The way the muscles gripped Edmond's fingers felt so delicious, he could hardly wait to replace them with his cock. Even so, he hated seeing Theodore was not enjoying it. It would take a little more work to persuade Theodore to relax enough for it.
As his fingers worked in deeper, Edmond leaned down and gently licked Theodore’s slightly softer cock, bringing it back to full erection. Theodore whimpered and bit down on the covers again, gripping the sheets beneath him tight in his hands. It seemed Theodore had not trained this part of himself any more than Edmond had.
Suddenly, Theodore let out another moan. Edmond froze.
“Do you want me to stop?” Edmond asked, beginning to pull his fingers out.
“No, that was… that was good. Touch me there again,” Theodore said between small pants for breath.
Edmond hesitated, then pushed his fingers back in, deeper, gently feeling around. He had read of this as well, of course, but he had not expected it to be this real. As Theodore let out yet another moan of pleasure and his tight hole relaxed a little more, Edmond smiled. This may be possible after all.
Licking Theodore’s cock slowly, fingers moving gently in and out, rubbing his own cock against Theodore’s shin, Edmond felt anticipation so intense he wondered if he would reach his climax before he even had a chance to enter Theodore. Theodore began to push back against Edmond’s fingers, forcing himself down harder and harder, moaning so loudly it could be heard even through the blanket he was biting down on.
A part of Edmond wanted to carry on until Theodore came. But another part of Edmond wanted to take this further. He slowly removed his fingers, causing Theodore to whine in protest. “I want to try and… if you would not mind, of course- I simply- What I want to ask is...” Edmond sighed, not finding it in him to actually put his feelings to words.
“On the dresser there is a bottle of shaving lotion,” Theodore said, pointing over. “It may help if you would like to put something else inside me.”
Edmond nodded and went to the dresser, feeling the weight of his rock-hard cock as it bounced with every step. He had never been this erect before.
He coated his cock with as much of the lotion as he could. It didn't feel quite slippery enough, but perhaps it would work. He carried the bottle with him to the bed, in case he needed more. Theodore raised his knees up high, an expression of anticipation and nervousness on his face as he looked down at Edmond’s erect member.
“Will it fit?” Theodore asked, a little nervous now.
“There is but one way to find out,” Edmond said, taking his cock in hand and gently rubbing the tip against Theodore’s tight hole, spreading some lotion over it. Even this light touch sent waves of pleasure through Edmond’s body, and he couldn’t help but push forward without even thinking.
Pushing in, it was too much. Theodore was tight and tense around the head of Edmond's cock. It felt good at first, but also a little painful. Edmond pushed harder, trying to get it in.
It was too painful to even attempt. He was not sure how anyone else did this. But hands were another matter entirely. He gripped Theodore firmly, still confused at how different Theodore's penis felt to his own. Rather than pushing in, he continued to rub his erect cock against Theodore’s entrance, feeling how it twitched and teased him. He pushed again, not too far this time, just a little inside, and moaned as he felt the head of his cock slip back out from the pressure.
Theodore gasped. “It will not fit?”
Edmond shook his head.
Theodore seized Edmond’s shoulder, pulling Edmond down so their crotches could grind together. Edmond found one of his hands pressed right up to Theodore’s hole, and without a second thought he pushed a single finger in, reaching for that spot Theodore had enjoyed toying with so much. As Edmond reached up, Theodore wrapped his hand around Edmond’s cock and began pumping in sync with Edmond’s strokes on Theodore’s own penis.
They stroked one another slowly, and then Edmond, on a whim, leaned in, pressing the undersides of their erections against one another, pushing his finger in even deeper as he did so. Theodore let out a desperate moan and they began to thrust against one another harder and harder.
Theodore gasped, moaned, shook. Edmond realized what was happening and pressed his hips down, forcing his weight against both their cocks as he thrust faster and faster, feeling Theodore's hot ejaculate covering both their cocks. It was amazing. He pushed his finger down hard against Theodore’s sweet spot as he felt the last spasms of the tutor’s body, before retreating his finger and continuing to hump against Theodore’s cock.
Theodore did not pull back. He gripped Edmond's hips with one hand and with the other gently reached around, stroking Edmond's tight hole. Edmond gasped, feeling himself brought back from the brink. He was not sure he was ready. He wanted it, but he was not ready yet. Theodore’s hand froze, and through hazy eyes Theodore watched Edmond before removing his finger. Theodore’s other hand continued stroking Edmond’s hard cock, faster and faster.
Edmond pressed his lips to Theodore's as he found himself ejaculating all over the other man, his body tensing up out of control. This was not how he had been told it was supposed to go. It was not quite what the books had described either. But it felt so very, very right. So long as nobody knew, what harm was there?
Collapsing on top of Theodore, he wondered if they would have long to relax before they had to cleanse themselves, get clothed, and leave the room. The anxiety of it all was preventing him from enjoying the moment, and he groaned in frustration at himself for being unable to simply feel happy.
Edmond felt strange. He was glad they had done it, but he was also angry at himself for daring to do it. And he was even angrier at that part of himself, for daring to tell him he had done anything wrong.
What is more, he had to wonder if he was truly in love with Theodore, or simply seizing an opportunity that had never before presented itself. Was it love, or simply raw lust? Was it a desire for another man, or simply a desire for sexual release?
Looking over at Theodore’s peaceful smile and gently closed eyes, Edmond realized Theodore was not burdened with such questions. As always, Theodore was living in the moment, enjoying himself, not wasting a single second of the time they had together.
Theodore’s eyes opened lazily and Edmond could not help but smile back. He did indeed love the tutor. He was not sure how this love would be described or explained by another, but he was sure it existed. Leaning in, Edmond kissed Theodore before collapsing by the younger man’s side and snaking an arm beneath the pillow and around Theodore’s shoulders.
Theodore hummed contentedly. “I think I love you,” he said softly.
Edmond simply nodded.
“Do you feel we have connected?” Theodore asked.
Edmond hesitated. “I suppose so. You said that you also lost a father?" Edmond asked. "Or at least an uncle who was as a father to you, did you not?"
Theodore laughed. “Is now the time?”
“Is it ever the time?” Edmond replied.
Theodore's mood seemed to drop a little. "Yes, I lost my biological parents, and then my adoptive father. I lose people again and again. I suppose fate will not stop until I am alone in the streets."
“Was it hard with your uncle?” Edmond asked. “Had he no other children? Did you ever feel like a fraud in following his footsteps?”
“No… Why, do you?” Theodore asked.
Edmond sighed and grit his teeth. He had not been ready for the question to be turned on him, but he could not exactly refuse to answer it now. “Of course, I do,” he replied. “I am an orphan, a usurper, an impostor. I am astonished that I was left anything, much less an earldom. I should have turned it away.”
"No, we did what we needed to do," Theodore replied, sitting up as well, leaning a shoulder on Edmond's shoulder. "We are not alone, but we are apart, isolated. I would not have turned down anything that was offered to me when I lost Uncle. Even if I felt as an impostor, life is harsh when you do not accept what gifts fate gives you."
Edmond hunched over his knees. “How is life as a member of a lower class?”
“It is acceptable. I am fortunate to have good friends, or else I might have fallen further,” Theodore replied. “I am not sure if you would understand, but even my own family did not want me to inherit any power. The Elridges were the only ones to realize I needed a place to stay.”
"No, I understand all too well. For some of us, even our friends are not friends," Edmond replied. "I am sure you understand me better than any of my supposed friends. I wonder how many of them would reject me if it were not for my title and wealth. I would like a true friend like the Elridges. And yet I am unprepared to sacrifice it all so as to test their friendship."
“They are your friends. I assure you, they would not tolerate your constant presence, Earl or not, were you not their friend,” Theodore insisted.
Edmond pursed his lips. “And yet I shall never be certain of their friendship.”
"I would gladly be your friend," Theodore said.
"I believed we were more," Edmond replied.
Theodore laughed, and for a moment Edmond wondered what was meant by that laughter. Was it derision? Denial? Agreement? Edmond found himself tensing up under the pressure of all these questions, of his own self-doubt.
“We would be more than friends, if such a life were possible,” Theodore replied. “But it is not.”
"We could run away," Edmond said, feeling his heart race. "Hide from this cruel world, live together. I have enough money, and we need so little if we have one another."
Theodore paused.
Edmond felt his heart sink. “Do you not want to run with me? Do you not desire a family?”
"Family does not mean much to me," Theodore finally added. "I suppose because to my family I did not mean much. I see friends as more valuable."
Edmond hesitated. “Did your family not love you at all?”
“I was always a black sheep,” Theodore said. He looked more depressed and broken than Edmond had ever seen him before. “They tolerated me because of how much my uncle loved me. But even without knowing of my… let us call them perversions, they did not like me. They did not care for my personality, or my voice, or the woman who birthed me. I was just a monster to them. When my uncle died, although he had adopted me, the papers went missing.” Theodore chuckled bitterly.
“What do you mean by missing?” Edmond asked, feeling himself sickened at the thought.
"They did not want me to receive anything," Theodore said, looking at his hands as though the answer to their problems lay in his lines, hidden like a vague fortune. “So, they treated me like a bastard child. They did not acknowledge my parents’ marriage papers. There was no record of my adoption. As far as the papers showed, I was just a child my uncle took pity on. I did not receive a pence.”
"So, you were also not the rightful heir in your family?" Edmond asked, looking down in surprise. "I always felt so alone. Like I was a fraud of some description. I felt as though I had usurped a position that a real noble ought to hold, like I was part of the reason that nobility is fading out."
“Who was the former Earl to you?” Theodore asked, snuggling up closely again.
Edmond smiled. “To me? He was a father. But I was not a son to him. He adopted me. That ought to have been enough. I do not know what he was thinking, giving the earldom to an orphaned peasant boy he had adopted.”
“An adopted child is still a child,” Theodore replied.
“Not by blood. What right did I have to this title?” Edmond asked. “At least you were related by blood to your uncle.”
"Not as far as my family were concerned. They would likely have had me killed, or otherwise removed. They simply believed I was out of the picture, that I was an aberration to God that would pass before my cousins did. When I lived, but my uncle died before his other nieces and nephews, they saw the opportunity to... dispose
of me," Theodore explained.
Edmond wrapped an arm tightly around Theodore’s shoulder. “I am so sorry. You were a rightful heir and denied.”
"I did not care for that. I only wanted to be loved. I never cared for the money," Theodore said, smiling bitterly. It was the most broken Edmond had ever seen this usually cheerful man. A tear escaped Theodore’s eye, and Edmond reached up to wipe it away.
Edmond nodded. "I understand." His heart sank though. Theodore was different. Theodore was still born into nobility. Edmond himself was a complete and utter fraud. How could Theodore possibly imagine how out of place Edmond was? It should be Theodore who had a title, and Edmond who worked a humble job.
Chapter Twenty-Five
Theodore could feel the distance growing between them, stretching with the silence. He had not intended to open up so much to Edmond, but now it seemed as though they had both been hurt by what Theodore had said, and neither could fully assume responsibility for comforting the other. But Theodore fell into the role he had always assumed: that of caregiver, support, and reliable friend. His own emotions could wait.
Edmond rested a hand gently on Theodore’s shoulder. “You seem lost in thought,” Edmond said.
"I did not mean to hurt you," Theodore replied. "And yet it appears that you are deeply hurt by what I have said, although I cannot quite fathom why."
Edmond sighed wearily. “You at least have blue blood in your veins. I do not. And every time I am reminded of that, I find it races through my mind, infecting it, taking over my entire self, reminding me that even here I do not belong.” Edmond’s hand fell down between them, the back of his fingers brushing against Theodore’s hand.
Theodore shook his head slowly, slipping his hand into Edmond’s. “No, you belong. You belong with me. We belong together.”
"Do we? I am a simple man, I am no hero, no nobleman, no rightful Earl. I am nothing but an impostor, and I worry that every misstep could be my revelation," Edmond added. “Perhaps you could help me, but perhaps you would simply make me stand out even more as the inadequate man I am.”
